Girls Night Out isn't the end of the world

Rollo provides sound advice on responding to a Girls Night Out request:

Let her go.

“You do know what happens when your girlfriend ‘gets drunk, he was cute, and one thing led to another,..’?!!”

Yes, I’ve been the guy who nailed your girlfriend.

“You do know that ‘taken’ girls just want to live vicariously through their single girlfriends?”

I’ve written volumes about it.

This is a very common shit test. Don’t even pause to think about it and do NOT let her perceive for a second that you’re even contemplating it. Be matter-of-fact and tell her you’ll see her when she gets back. Don’t tell her to call you, and don’t you call her. If she calls be concise and ask her if she’s enjoying herself, nothing more – no details, nothing. Let her be as forthcoming as she wants and never for a minute give her the impression you’re suspicious or posessive. This is the surest way to pass this test.

When and if she asks about what you’ve been doing, tell her you’ve been busy with work/school, your family, etc., (i.e. something unavoidably responsible). Do NOT say you’re out with the boys in some lame effort to counter her going off with the girls. Do NOT give her the impression that you are doing anything as a reprisal to her going off with the girls. Do NOT give her the impression that you are pacing around the house waiting for her to call or sulking.

I have to admit, it has never occurred to me for a second to kick up a fuss about Spacebunny's request to go out with a girlfriend or three. While I prefer the pleasure of her company, I also enjoy the silence around the house on those evenings and usually get a fair amount of writing done. If you are a man who doesn't enjoy doing whatever the hell you want without being interrupted, you are probably too far down the socio-sexual hierarchy to hang on to your woman if an Alpha or even a Beta takes a fancy to her anyhow. Rollo is also correct to advise avoiding trying to "make her jealous back", which is why "not much" is always the correct response to any questions about how you spent your time.

NB: "Not much" is the correct description of any male activity that ranges from "I spent the evening rearranging my collection of Intellivision cartridges in order of release" to "I spent the evening snorting coke and banging a pair of Victoria's Secret models". Remember, women are solipsistic. They don't actually care what you do, except insofar as it relates to them.

Relationships are about trust, in the end, and what provides a sound foundation for a real relationship is the amount of trust one partner is willing to grant the other. Just as the coward dies a thousand deaths and the brave man only one, the man who is willing to implicitly trust his wife or girlfriend will only be betrayed once, if ever. The man who lives an eternity of agonies worrying about what his wife or girlfriend is doing every moment she is out of his view lives through scores, perhaps even hundreds, of hypothetical betrayals, until his BETA behavior finally drives her to commit an actual one.

Indeed, one of the big differences between the ALPHA attitude and the BETA attitude is that the ALPHA always assumes his wife will be faithful to him. Why wouldn't she be, when she knows that betrayal will not only mean the end of the relationship, but probably her short-term replacement in a matter of weeks, if not days? She knows that losing her is not the end of the ALPHA's world, because she is a part of his world, not its entirety. He's got his mission. He's got his hobbies. He's got his intellectual interests. Ironically, because the BETA makes his woman his whole world, he significantly increases the likelihood that he has also immanentized his eschaton.

Rollo is entirely correct to advise the young man not to "ask her anything about that evening in a playful manner". That is pure Gamma behavior; cloaking deadly serious concerns under a facade of playfulness. Women see right through that sort of false nonchalance and Indifference Game goes too easily awry to be utilized by any man who is not at least in part genuinely indifferent.

Now, none of this means that one should regard weekly barhopping or a girls' trip to Barbados with equanimity. It is perfectly reasonable for a woman to go out to dinner once or twice a month with her friends. It is not, on the other hand, perfectly reasonable for her to live an active social life without you or to engage in sex tourism. But if she wants to do those things, then you've already got a serious problem on your hands. And, of course, it should go without saying that the correct response to a Girl's Night Out demand is to end the relationship.

The Desire Dynamic is key, as a woman who wants to cheat will. Do you think you're going to stop her by hovering and mate-guarding? Then think about how young Muslim girls are known to go out and have sex with Arabic thugs even though they know they're closely watched and will be drowned in the family pool if they're caught.