A pair of lovebirds facing life as jailbirds were arraigned Sunday on charges they capped a boozy date by stomping a would-be good Samaritan to death in the street. Quintin Guerrero, 61, was killed when he rushed to aid one of his accused attackers, Tosheba Alford, 20, after she jumped out of a moving cab in front of his Bronx house to escape a beating from her boyfriend, Alford's mother, Queen Smith, said.As I have written on several previous occasions, unless you are prepared to interfere by immediately utilizing lethal force, you would be wise to stay completely out of a physical encounter between a man and a woman who are romantically involved. It is not at all uncommon for the woman to turn and attack the man who thinks he is coming to her defense.
Monday, April 25, 2011
The Danger of White Knighting
It is never a good idea to decide to play white knight on behalf of another man's woman:
15 comments:
Indeed. This topic needs repeating for men/WK's to understand the world is a evil, dangerous place and unpredictable. So dangerous it can get you hurt if you intervene in situation that will spin wildly out of control.
This does a good job of summarizing the entire feminist movement.
That reminds me... I need to renew my carry permit and practice more.
Funny, just this afternoon I saw an altercation between a guy and his girlfriend.
Why do you think it is the woman will attack the would-be hero?
Because she doesn't know the would-be hero from Adam. And the would-be hero is attacking her man.
Just like the old saying, "No one picks on my little brother but me."
"Why do you think it is the woman will attack the would-be hero?"
She doesn’t want the would be hero to do the rescuing, she wants her boyfriend/husband to. The hero is an intruder into their business.
There are, of course, many varying degrees of violence/abuse in a relationship but maybe I can help you understand the early stages. When I was a senior in high school I started dating a junior that up until then had been unnoticed by the scavenger girls. Now he had them throwing themselves at him. I had a lot of buried rage and insecurity that began surfacing. (At home I was dealing with my mom slowly dying of cancer.) The combination was brutal. One time he saw a cute friend of mine who was wearing a tight pink sweater walking towards us. He looked up and exclaimed, “Wow,” I seethed and asked, “what, do you want to f*ck her?” (dumb question), he said, “If she’d let me I would.” That rage began boiling over and I wanted him even more, if anything I thought I wanted to control him. A big fight ensued, I said things that deserved a beat down, he obliged. I was humiliated this happened in public because I did not want to end the relationship and now I knew I’d look like an idiot to continue. I didn’t even pay attention to the White Knighters, wanted nothing to do with them. I wanted him to run to me, and say he was so sorry he pushed me on my ass. More incidents occurred in private but on the occasion that it would happen in public, more white knights would try to “help,” and all were greeted with my contempt and embarrassment, I was never grateful for it. I’ve continued to defend him to this day, knowing that he was just bad at handling my shit tests. Where he resorted to physically putting me in my place, a more controlled man would tell me to shut up the f*ck up and be done with it, left me, and not turned back. This guy kept coming back for more. It didn’t work out for him. Two years into it I moved a few hours away to go to college, we continued a long distance relationship for a year and as soon as he was going to move to where I was, I left him and moved again six hours away.
I met RLB a month later, and was married to him 9 months after that. He doesn’t take shit tests and with words knows exactly how to put me in my place. (Though he did have to slap me once when I was drunk, out of control, and about to jump out of a moving vehicle.) He’s a SIGMA and took my insecurity as offensive and stupid. If he thought another woman was more desirable than me, he’d be with them, not me. He is also very skilled in pointing me in the right direction to get over my damn self.
Don’t be a white knight, stay out of it. If need be, call the police. Women need to be told how to behave rationally if it isn’t instilled in them by their family. A woman without wisdom…well, Proverbs has a lot to say on the matter.
So where were all the sarahsdaughter women while VAWA was being passed? In fact I seem to recall dead silence except for the men who have been ravaged by this legislation. I won't hold my breath when it comes up for a renewal either...
After the first incident that happened in school, I was asked by the Vice Principal if I wanted to press charges. I said, "no, I started it." While I was ranting, I did hit him first. No one asked my boyfriend if he wanted to press charges. I can only imagine how that would have woke me up to my stupidity (and crime). What I honestly needed was complete humiliation and a stay in juvi. Instead, they released us from school to go to a counseling appointment with my psychologist. This all happened in 1992.
I don't even know how to start an anti-feminist movement that would bring logic and discretion to those that continue to pass these acts/laws. VAWA, Hate Crimes...none of it makes sense to me. A crime is a crime.
This happened to my brother-in-law once. He stopped to help a woman who was getting worked over by two guys on the roadside. The men turned on him while the woman screamed insults at him.
Does Tosheba Alford have a sister named Onkyo or Samsung?
And black people wonder why no one takes them seriously.
I do not support the VaWa. Nor do will I kiss the arses of abused women,nor will I cater to their plights. I feel sad for them, as they have experienced brutality but the gov't...has enough questionable irons in the fire.
Here is the problem. The only one that can protect you, is you. What happens to us in life is sometimes, hurtful, horrible and even deadly. Situations spin wildly out of control and usually there is no justice on earth.
In all seriousness, I do ask the Lord to protect and defend us from whatever but in the end we are still on our own.
Moving on, what makes a woman meet a abusive man and why haven't I met one? I am slow to vilify men for violence as I am not convinced men are abusive and violent. I view some forms of domestic violence as a class thing. The lower the class the more violent. I am not too confident with that position though. Just a thought.
I return to my previous point. Sure, there is crime, law to address it and consequences to follow. I dont' see how all these laws have helped any.
I have talked to some people who operate a women's shelter. They started out in their line of work with good intentions, but their attitude to their clients was bitter. They really held themselves in, and limited their comments to calling the inmates "entitlement princesses" and "bitches". I got the impression these "battered women" weren't very sweet or rosy.
OT: When in Chlt, NC. I got involved in fund raising to assist shelters for women and children.
Battered/abused women, the teeny bopper kids who have aged out of the system who were now street bound were the hardest to reach.
It is all sad. They must attempt to improve their lives on their own. They need their own 'fighting spirit'. meaning, they have to stand up on their own, against the statistics and improve their lives.
Adding in the influence of drugs, single motherhood and a-hole bf's the women fall prey to a lifetime of self destruction. Never has evil battled for the weak hearts of humanity.
We all want to help, hope for the best and educate. There are a few out who make it. However, the group of women who slip through cracks into bad decision making negates any charities we would raise.
It is quite, quite sad.
There is an ellephant in the room you are not saying, Vox. Come on, say it. We know you want to say it. The name Tosheba is a hint.
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