Friday, April 22, 2011

Confidence, standards, and giving advice to ALPHAs

With success comes more confidence in the concepts of game. Before I had any success I was somewhat embarrassed to discuss what I had read; I felt somewhat pathetic. Now, I can discuss and defend what I know with a degree of confidence that I am not familiar with. Perhaps the confidence comes from an increase in testosterone, or because I have seen game in action and know that it works, most likely both. Regardless, I have had some valuable discussions with various people since then.

The first was with my younger brother. In a strange quirk of genetics I have four brothers, three who could reasonably be described as lesser ALPHAs (one was recently offered a threesome by two very hot girls). So I was surprised and somewhat pleased when one of them (not Mr. Threesome) opened up to me regarding his long-term relationship with his girlfriend.

He confided that he has problems with feeling treated like a little boy in the relationship; that she frequently acts like his mother. He also confided that ever since he cheated on her the relationship has been even worse. I explained the theory behind shit-tests and how it applied to his relationship. I told him that she was acting the way she was because he was not acting in a way that made her feel safe and stable. Cheating only made it worse because it made her feel even more unstable. I gave him some examples, and told him that if he could begin passing her tests the relationship would improve. It took a number of restatements before it really sunk in, but it was not hard to tell when it happened. When it finally clicked he let loose with a long string of swear words, most directed at himself for being so stupid. Later that evening I introduced him to some of the better posts about shit-tests and asked him to let me know the results. I am still waiting but I expect a good report next time I see him. I have hope for his relationship.

I had another conversation about the same subject with one of my roommates. I few weeks previous I introduced him to some of the same posts on shit-testing. His response was not nearly so positive. After my date the subject came up again and he said that he disagreed with the idea. I asked him to be more specific. He said that he felt that acting the way the posts recommended was demeaning. I proceeded to defend and clarify the concept. I argued that it could be used that way and that some people did use it that way, but how it was used did not change the fact that the theory was accurate. I realized that his resistance to the idea came from the fact that he felt that it was wrong because of the way it was portrayed. With some discussion I was able to convince him that the theory was correct and at that point he began to apply it to his own relationships describing his previous girlfriend and their problems. This was a rather surreal experience for me as he is also an ALPHA. He has never had problems attracting women, and I was pleased that he took my point of view seriously once I presented it in a palatable manner.

The turning point in the discussion was when I explained that moral standards are not in themselves attractive, but, when an ALPHA has them they can become attractive. In the hands of an ALPHA they can become a set of standards that can apply to the women he chooses. Since he is already attractive, having those standards and more importantly ruthlessly applying them can become a turn on for the woman. If he has the moral strength to apply those standards in the face of temptation he is displaying that he is strong enough to control himself. The woman finds that the value of her currency in the relationship, sex appeal, is reduced, and his currency in the relationship, stability, is increased and his moral standards become a DHV. When he made the connection he went quiet (a major achievement, he is a very loud person), and the discussion was over. He seemed affected by the realization and I hope that the ideas I presented will help him, but that remains to be seen.

My goal in learning game was to attract women, but I appears that it has a far broader effect than I expected. My small successes have given me a great deal of confidence in many areas, not just approaching women. I suspect that what I am doing will completely change my life, the only mistake now would be to stop.


Joseph Dantes said...

Congrats on your persuasive ability; that's rare.

What have you been reading?

VD said...

What you are discovering is precisely why I prefer to view Game through a socio-sexual lens rather than a purely sexual one. Its potential utility is too great to limit it to mere intersexual relations. As you advance in terms of sexual rank, you will also advance in terms of social rank. The two are not identical, but they are intrinsically connected.

Battlefrog said...

I suspect that what I am doing will completely change my life, the only mistake now would be to stop.

Yes, don't. The last time I had energy for what you're doing is at about the age you are now (27/28). I just turned 33, and after reading your recent posts, I've finally concluded it's never going to happen for me. My best shot will be something semi-arranged through a matchmaking service. But most likely, nothing at all. I just don't have the energy for this shit. (Reading the description of your date alone was exhausting.)

Despite your omega tendencies, it looks like you are in a very good position to improve. You have brothers, friends, a foundation to work from that some of us have never had. Take advantage of it, and use it for good.

Some Guy said...

"My best shot will be something semi-arranged through a matchmaking service."

I'm telling you, you are only about half way through your prime years. Six months of practice and you'll be unstoppable. I am only 28 and I felt the same way as you. It was going to take too much effort, etc., etc. The reality was that once I created a plan, my mind focused on it and everything started falling into place really quick.

I am actually going to my first training class in two weeks. You can check it out at my blog. I promise, direction is the only thing you need, the energy will come.

stg58 said...

I agree with Omega that self control regarding sex is crucial to the long term health of a relationship. I had sex with every one of my girlfriends until I met my wife. We were able to abstain until marriage, and I have recently realized why since I started studying Game theory. Being able to control myself in the relationship is key, providing the stability that we needed for our marriage to work.

Maybe this is why marriages use to last forever, because sex before marriage was discouraged. Men were also a little stronger back then.

Anonymous said...

Any chance of directing me to some of those sites? I'm new to all this, having just taken the red pill and all, and have realized that I've lost all my alpha...Help

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