Thursday, March 24, 2016

Opposites don't attract

More likely, the more attractive partner has other issues that reduce their sexual market value:
Despite what many people think, opposites very rarely attract.

In fact, decades of research has shown that attraction is most likely to be sparked when two people perceive themselves as being very similar to each other.

But similar how? It could be similarity in terms of sociodemographics – most relationships are formed between people who are similar in terms of age, social class, occupational background, and so on.

But more important than sociodemographics is similarity of values – everything from musical tastes to political orientation.

We're all motivated to think that our views of the world are right and when someone disagrees with us, we feel uncomfortable in their presence.

But when someone agrees with us, they validate our worldviews and as result we want continuing contact with that person.
I've noticed that, in general, most people match up relatively well in terms of how attractive both spouses are. Sure, sometimes aging differently throws things out of whack, or there are other non-physical attractions involved, but one seldom sees true opposites together, as opposed to simple complementary pairings such as an introvert with an extrovert.

13 comments:

Aeoli Pera said...

Also masculine with feminine.

We're all motivated to think that our views of the world are right and when someone disagrees with us, we feel uncomfortable in their presence.

Or...similar values, tastes, and views of the world are proxy measures for genetic compatibility. You know, what with around 10,000 genes contributing to how the brain functions.

Derrick Bonsell said...

So between you and Spacebunny, who's the introvert and who's the extrovert?

Stg58/Animal Mother said...

Introverted women have always been attracted to me. My wife is highly introverted.

Trust said...

Opposites attract.

Birds of a feather flock together.

Their is cliche to rationalize any choice.

Sokrates said...

You are right, opposites don’t attract each other. That’s a myth which is hard to kill and for some it is a cherrished romantic illusion.

Form: http://freedompowerandwealth.com

steve said...

@Animal Mother
Can you tell what specific action can be taken to attract introverted women? Im an introvert myself. I think introverted women are more faithful and loving.

Mansizedtarget.com said...

Steve, yeah, be extroverted. It's the just the way it is. I'm extroverted and always date introverts and while I befriend extroverted women easily, it never seems to feel right to either of us.

Mansizedtarget.com said...

Steve, yeah, be extroverted. It's the just the way it is. I'm extroverted and always date introverts and while I befriend extroverted women easily, it never seems to feel right to either of us.

Bob said...

Last girlfriend was an extrovert, and it drove us apart. She was always wanting to be up early, out clubbing or whatever, whereas I preferred to stay and chill. It drove us apart eventually.

My current lass is an introvert and we get on perfectly. We're both always at the same level of energy, be that chilling or otherwise. We like our time apart too in our separate rooms, then come together and really enjoy spending some time. For us at least, it works much better that we're the same. Some minor differences between us but by all other aspects we're practically mirrors of eachother.

stevo said...

It's been a long time since I've seen relationship advice online that I will actually try to follow

frenchy said...

"I've noticed that, in general, most people match up relatively well in terms of how attractive both spouses are."

Funny. My sister said something similar. She said that whoever it was I was interested in, if I could not stand waking up and looking over at the other pillow into that woman's face for the rest of my life, then it's probably best not to marry her.

Stg58/Animal Mother said...

Steve,

What the Mansized Target said. I'm an ESTJ, highly extroverted, I'm a salesman, public speaker and leader. That's why introverted women have always been attracted to me. Call it living vicariously, or them getting a little confidence to be more extroverted than normal if they have me to lean on.

LP9 Forever Solidified in Gold! Rin Integra S.I.G. said...

An introvert married an extrovert hence my existence. Opposites are best left apart.

Opposites attract styled dating is frustrating, disconcerting and an untrue idiom - they are dead end relationships.

I had a 'opposite' person, one male, one lady, calling me, mostly henhousing. Forgive me but they are dead end boomers. Our opposite lifestyles, views, etc., created conflict and debates. I dont want to win because boomers never quiet down, double down, never listen and I am not going to change them.

Both are in FL as snow birds AND STILL ARE NOT happy. Which I take slight delight in. I cut them off when I ended the landline.

Regarding music I totally forgot how much I love loud music and big speakers, I just forgot.

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