Sunday, September 20, 2015

Agree and amplify

New heights of SJW parenting:
I’ve been in such a state of perpetual turmoil ever since giving birth. My child, pronoun “they”, is now 3-years-old. I have been mired in a heinous state of chronic depression because “they” do not want to play with girl’s toys. It destroys me that “they” might be another white CIS male, and another future agent of the patriarchy. That’s just not the type of lifestyle I can support or agree with. “Their” father has also been deeply despondent over our child’s reluctance to conform to our stance and ideals on gender. My husband identifies as gender neutral, and whenever “Xe” (my husbands current pronoun) witnesses our child playing with toy trucks and trains, it triggers “Xer” so hard that “Xe” crumbles into a quivering pile of inconsolable PTSD jitters.

My question is, how can I persuade my child to blossom into the fabulous transgender individual that I know in my heart “they” truly are? All I’ve ever wanted was a trans child, and the fact that “they” seem so drawn to boys toys and refuse to don the lovely dresses I so painstakingly choose for “them” just crushes my soul. What can I do to make “them” understand the harm that they inflict on our family through their identity as a CIS-gendered white male? Please Jane, help us, it’s tearing our family apart.
So apparently they're not QUITE beyond parody. Almost, but not quite.


Unknown said...

I can't tell if this is real or not, myself.

Elocutioner said...

"What can I do to make “them” understand the harm that they inflict on our family"

This letter is pretty much the case for child social services.

Unknown said...

I was leaning toward parody, because surely anyone this deluded wouldn't still be using the patriarchal terms "husband" and "father" for a man who identifies as "Xer." But even after going to read the whole thing, I'm not sure. "Jane" plays it completely straight with no sign of sarcasm that I can see. And a good writer, capable of doing parody, would have to be better with apostrophes.

After reading a few more of her articles, I think maybe she's trying to do a parody but just has no sense of humor whatsoever. A common problem for women.

Days of the Broken Arrows said...

This is satire. Look up the writer. "She" also once wrote for "National Report," which is a satirical Web site with headlines like "Racially Motivated Shark Attacks Leave North Carolina Shaken" and "Pope Francis To Followers: “Koran And Holy Bible Are The Same."


What's more, that Web site has a connection to "Adora Bull," who trolled everyone a while back with the article "5 Reasons Why I'm Glad Paul Walker Is Dead," which ended being posted to Reddit. The Walker article was written for Modern Women Digest, another made-up Web site -- just like the one you liked to here Every Woman Weekly. The giveaway might have been its tagline: "Every woman. Every week."

All of this was explained a few years ago on the blog Pat's stuff:

Reading all of this, I was reminded of a show I grew up on, SCTV. I have to say this satire reaches the level of that show. Dunno if you remember Rick Moranis' "Ipanema Rap," but it was a parody so on the mark it passed for the real thing. Same here.

Happy Housewife said...

The troubling thing is that, parody or not, there are parents out there that think like this. And they aren't seeking advice; they simply force their boys into dresses, despite what the poor thing wants.

Unknown said...

I lean toward parody. They follow the rules too well. Even a tumblr nut can't follow this nonsense without trying. Not saying they're aren't people this dumb.

Robert What? said...

What does it say - about me and about modern society - that I can't really tell if it is supposed to be satire or not?

Unknown said...

I'm confused. I thought that a fundamental pillar of SJW thinking is that people should be encouraged to be happy with themselves the way they are. Children shouldn't be forced into any sort of mold. Children should be encouraged to explore their own identities, ect. on their own. Oh, and I don't think calling it "thinking" is quite accurate. No actual cerebration is involved. In fact. SJW thinking is an oxymoron. I just can't think of another term.

Unknown said...

I read a while back about a lesbian couple that was giving their re-adolescent son female hormone injections becaseu they claimed that he said he wanted to be a girl. So this might posting might not be a parody.

crazyivan498 said...

i need to go throw up.

Arthur Isaac said...

Just kill the kid, safe us all the misery.

How is that for agree and amplify?

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

This has to be a joke. Right?

Bob Loblaw said...

I'm leaning toward satire, myself. If not... God help the poor child.

Phunctor said...

Shevi, I see where you went wrong. "SJW... ?thinking?". Come on.

Soga said...

Guys, the dead giveaway was "another future agent of the patriarchy".

No SJW talks like that. The "patriarchy" is more of an abstract concept for them, not a cabal of evil, elite rich men out to subjugate women and give them titty twisters for all eternity.

The patriarchy as a Illuminati-esque secret organization with agents infiltrating all society is the parody of the SJW concept.

Hammerli 280 said...

It's satire...but like Duflel Blog, too close to reality for comfort.

Anonymous said...

Google search on the author quickly turns up that this is a troll/satire website. It still hits the Poe limit though.

Anonymous said...

Reminds me of the prophetic Spreckin Ze English:

"The European Union(EU) has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl rite n styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas."

Up iz down. Who ze fuch nos vat is vat eny mor?

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hank.jim said...

Gender neutrality makes no sense especially when they often cite Caitlyn Jenner as an excuse. He is a male, still with male genitals, that identifies as a female. He will not identify as a neutral. He will want to be called a She.

Lesbians are female. Gays are male. Why would they want to neutral pronouns?

Thus, only transgenders that identify as ambiguous will want a neutral pronoun. I've seen a few like that. These are usually male that dress in female fashions. They are occasionally gay, but many are also straight that like to hang out with females. Also, females that are "butch" that dress in male fashion that seem to want to hang out with females. A few are into sports and find themselves hanging out with males, but in most cases, they are actually lesbian. I think these people are confused, but they haven't committed to not being their original biological gender.

Thus, we are putting the cart before the horse in these minor incidences for there is no real label that can be applied to them. There's nothing wrong with calling them by their correct gender pronouns. Xe or Xer makes no sense. It is another language for idiots. If the colleges and universities want to use bad English, perhaps they could take the gender neutral plural (they, their) and turn them singular (the' pronounced like thee, ther pronounced like they're).

Unknown said...


Quadko said...

Good one, I totally bought it as real, if not for the title casting doubt.

It still kills me that, according to their own specifications, cisfemales and xfemales are different genders. The only thing an xfemale can't be is a cisfemale. And if we embrace their words, we build the full spectrum of locker- and restrooms, then xfemales aren't allowed in the cisfemale's safe space. It's only in what they complain as a binary system that they get to pull this "closer to female" gender-vauge crap and invalidate other's feelings. Yet again, to accept their premise is to completely undermine their stated goals.

But the entire premise that enacting such feelings brings happiness appears to be completely false given post-op suicide rate, so to maximize their potential happiness, it's better to oppose these whims rather than indulge them - for the individual's own good and happiness.

(Similar with "I'm unhappy" divorces, too, apparently - I've heard the 5 year individual happiness of those who stayed married improved, while that of the divorced did not. Statistically, getting one's way is not a path to happiness. Imagine that.)

joe camel said...

It's not parody.
It's not real. It's... Insidious: Chapter 3

Dox Day Teddy Spagetthhi said...

Wow, I am clearly on a reading comp fail day. More sad than funny.

Parody or not its sin and triple child abuse. As we might suggest that sjws do want this sort of henhouse/dysfunction for their children for the label then to collect some kind of a gov't stipend for transgen issues. So its another parody of gov't paying the mentally ill to stay out of the labor farce, have a label, meds and I can promise the parents and kids all get sicky checks, parody that.

And how dare anyone mar the Gen Xer Label!

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