Saturday, July 4, 2015

Delta Perspective: Don’t be that guy

This is the opening weekend for the new Terminator movie and whatever you do; do not do Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions. In fact, never do one again the rest of your life if you’ve done one. They aren’t good or funny unless you are professional comedian and no girl on the entire planet out of billions will think you are funny for doing it and be attracted to you.

Instead, if your friends do them watch the women around you grow increasingly uncomfortable and want to leave the area. Silly voices and impressions are for professional comedians, puppet shows, and Gammas.

48 comments:

JeanDark009 said...

Thanks for this advice.

In general I'm a fan of his movies (also some of his newer ones, I think Sabotage was great) and I admit I sometimes imitate his Austrian accent. But you are right, it's childish and silly.

Actually, I'm tired of ironizing my taste for action movies in communication with other people in general. It's as if I would justify myself by saying "I don't mean it seriously" when I actually do like action movies and a classic portrayal of masculinity. Instead I cater to the self-righteous shitty SWPL-"my taste in real film art and touching indie-movies is soooo superior"-attitude.

Trust said...

Funny that doing this would even cross a man's mind.

I can't even count how many women I've heard try to convince other women which Sex and the City character they are. But I'm yet to encounter a man outlining which A-Team character he is.

Remo - Vile Faceless Minion #99 said...

I can think of an exception. I've been lifting weights for a few years now and I'm the biggest one in the office by far. It helps that Im in Asia. Girl in my office makes a comment about me not wearing a coat on some day she thought was cold. My response in Arnold voice was: "If you had pumpitude like me you could walk buck naked through a glacier". I had three office bimbettes laughing.

Cocky and arrogant trumps catch all rules. On another note the new Terminator movie is supposed to royally suck and basically screw up the story of the first two (and best two) Terminator movies.

D. Lane (#0067) said...

General guideline for Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions:

Are you Arnold?

Yes --> Cool
No --> Stop trying to be Arnold

liberranter said...

Funny that doing this would even cross a man's mind.

For attracting a woman? Definitely a losing strategy, and any man who would employ it as such is pretty much a lost cause. For just being funny, without a romantic dimension to it? It depends on the delivery. Unless you're the next Rich Little or Frank Caliendo, best not to risk making yourself look like an idiot.

liberranter said...

On another note the new Terminator movie is supposed to royally suck and basically screw up the story of the first two (and best two) Terminator movies.

No surprise there. What are we on now, Terminator movie number six or seven in the franchise? Definitely past the point at which the plot is thoroughly played out and the plug needs to be pulled, before they start wandering into inadvertant parody/satire territory.

Tommy Hass said...

"Don't imitate Arnold."

Fuck you, asshole!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDxn0Xfqkgw

Trust said...

This is actually number 5 in the series. First two were the best, and the second was a rare great sequel.

The third one technically shouldn't have been made, but I can't in good conscience say the Kristanna Loken ass scene wasn't worth it.

shallowthoughtswithgeoff said...

Good advice under most circumstances.

In-group out-group dynamics apply. Also, as was mentioned above cockiness/muscles/display of strength make up for anything.

The "never if you're not a comedian" is a good rule, but if you're the jester in the group or the strongest man in the group, if can work. Case in point, at a party I noticed that my friend had Arnold's "Arm-Blaster." I picked it up and he yelled in a marvelous Arnold impression, "Don't do it, your arms....THEY WILL BE BLASTED." Everybody laughed, including the women. But the guy could literally lift his Buick's rear end off of the ground.

Time and place.

Conscientia Republicae said...

No one blurts out Conan lines here? What a waste.

Michael Maier said...

I'm with Tommy Hass on this one. I'll do my bad impressions when I damn well feel like it.

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

Impressions are for clowns. Don't be a clown.

DJ | AMDG said...

http://youtu.be/jAkpbv17Z54

Was my acquainted with this guy during my CapCity Comedy Club days in Austin, Tx. One of my fav comedians.

Michael Maier said...

And you're being a dick. Don't be a dick.

SciVo said...

I think it depends on context. If you're a geek hanging out with geeks, then you can bust out the Monty Python quotes, since that would be in-group signaling; but otherwise they're as good as a chastity belt.

Dexter said...

So I guess this means trying to impress her with your encyclopedic ability to quote Monty Python is also a non-starter?

1sexistpig2another said...

This is the opening weekend for the new Terminator movie and whatever you do; do not do Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions. In fact, never do one again the rest of your life if you’ve done one. They aren’t good or funny unless you are professional comedian and no girl on the entire planet out of billions will think you are funny for doing it and be attracted to you.


Who gives a rip what makes women uncomfortable? I don't make my day to day decisions based on what I think women will like or not, especially not women like we have on this side of the Pacific. No offense intended but this sounds like more advice on how to be a slave for women. No thanks.

Besides, if she's into you, she's into you. The Arnold impressions won't stop princess from getting what she has already decided she wants, and not doing them won't suddenly put you in her sights. If I had a dog in the fight, I would be glad princess found me uncomfortable. There's a high percentage of it being a bullet dodged.

Eric Wilson said...

I don't really care about Arnold. That said, I disagree. I am a decent voice mimic, although not a professional, and I have had numerous girls respond very positively to the various accents I do. Specifically a British accent. Girls eat that stuff up. One told me she was going to put the memory of it in her "spank bank." Although the key, in everything, is not to overdo it. Also girls love Kermit the Frog too.

1sexistpig2another said...

For all those princesses that are turned off by Arnold impersonations:

"Ha, ha, ha. You have strucked Hercules."

“If it bleeds, we can kill it”

"There's someone in my house eating my birthday cake with my family, and it's not me!"

“Your clothes, give them to me, now!”

“I’ll be back”

"Get to the chopper!"

"Now this is the plan : Get your ass to Mars!"

"Hasta La Vista, Baby!"

Retrenched said...

I would put impressions in the same category as gentlemanly behavior - nothing wrong with them, as long as you enjoy doing them for their own sake, and accept the fact that they're not ever gonna get you laid.

Eric Wilson said...

Retrenched,

I'd say that on their own they won't, but as part of a healthy diet, they can definitely help.

DJ | AMDG said...

Thinking more about the comedians I new who would come in and out of CapCity, I'd guess the majority of them were gamma or omega even. Some were legit deltas and even had families. I think the only comic close to alpha I met was probably Joe Rogan, but then he started juicing later joined up with Dana White. Interestingly, I never thought he was that funny. I wonder if there is a correlation between comiedically funny and rank.

Corvinus said...

Goofy voices and impressions do usually flop, yes.

By contrast, putting on an accent can come across as clever, at least if you use your natural voice while doing so.

@DJ | AMDG
That's interesting that most comedians seem to be Gammas and Omegas. Clownishness is a Gamma trait -- one reason I suspect that a lot of people hate clowns.

I would have expected there to be more Sigma comics, since they'd be pretty good with the deadpan. But then again, maybe Sigma humor is too (ahem) Teutonic to really go over all that well.

Retrenched said...

@ Eric

Perhaps, if the guy is otherwise ALPHA, but then again those guys can get laid with just about any type of opener/conversation. I mean, if they work for you then that's great, but the post was written with delta (average) guys in mind.

YIH said...

1sexistpig2another:
"Ha, ha, ha. You have strucked Hercules."
That may not even be Arnold's voice! In the original release, his English wasn't too good so it got dubbed by someone else. A later release was re-dubbed by Arnold.
Dubbing usually = unintentional comedy.

DJ | AMDG said...

There is a tremendous amount is depression and OCD / addictive behavior in the comic community. Given that Sigma and Alpha are sort of two sides of the same coin, I think you'd actually see less, Corvinus. Omegas aren't all serial killers or mass shooters. I think many become performers. It seems counterintuitive but possibly the best self surviving mechanism for them...be somebody else most of the time...and get paid for it.

Corvinus said...

@DJ | AMDG

I'd have to agree that most comedians seem to be deeply unhappy individuals, Robin Williams being a case in point. I suppose I'm a bit biased when it comes to humor. Gamma humor, which is indeed plentiful, is also low-quality IMO, tending to make me start rolling my eyes fairly quickly. (Also, is it just me, or is "Jewish humor" quintessentially Gamma?)

SciVo said...

@Corvinus: "I would have expected there to be more Sigma comics, since they'd be pretty good with the deadpan."

I don't know if he's Sigma, but I like Steven Wright.

Retrenched said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Retrenched said...

I would add David Letterman to that list of unhappy comics. Growing up in Indiana he was one of the outcasts who didn't get to hang out with the cool kids or date the pretty girls. So he and his friends coped with their low status by mocking the cool kids.

Letterman was able to use his talent for mocking the people at the top to build a very successful career. Yet part of him never got over being the dorky kid who never got invited to the cool kids parties and such. Despite all of his success Letterman remained deeply insecure and unsure of himself. Funny, when you consider that he was surely the most famous and successful alum from his Indiana high school.

secretarcade said...

IDK, the rare ones I manage go well.
Re-screening of Predator and the film started to bug out, I yell, "Get to the projector!"

JP said...

before they start wandering into inadvertant parody/satire territory

You haven't seen the movie yet then? It was a very good movie, but there were too many in-jokes. I admit that I enjoyed it thoroughly, but if you haven't seen the first two movies, you won't understand why everyone else is laughing (yes, we were laughing during a freaking Terminator movie). There's also a totally out-of-place "cute" scene between Sarah Connor and Kyle Reese.

VD said...

By contrast, putting on an accent can come across as clever, at least if you use your natural voice while doing so.

Clever is not attractive. That's what you Gamma dorks can't seem to get through your heads. We know that YOU value intelligence, the point that women are not sexually attracted to it. I'm not exactly lacking in the intelligence department, but when I want a woman to be attracted to me, clever is not the point I want to put across.

Women laugh at what hot guys say even if they're not funny, for the same reason you completely practically cough up a lung if a pretty girl says something even remotely amusing.

Corvinus said...

Clever is not attractive. That's what you Gamma dorks can't seem to get through your heads.

I was thinking in social contexts rather than sexual ones, to lighten the mood and break the ice a bit. But if that's Gamma, I'll retract.

Corvinus said...

Women laugh at what hot guys say even if they're not funny, for the same reason you completely practically cough up a lung if a pretty girl says something even remotely amusing.

An easy-enough assumption to make. No, I'm an ex-Omega, and I'm in fact more concerned with learning proper social skills than sexual ones at this point. Right now, I do have quite a few cute lady friends, but I'd be a social nullity otherwise.

SciVo said...

An easy-enough assumption to make.

It has risen to the level of a truism in my mind.

When I was in college and thoroughly gamma to be the bone (when not backsliding to omega), when I asked a few socially-adept friends for advice on flirting, they just gave me stupid pickup lines. At first I thought they were pulling my leg; then I realized that they honestly believed it worked, possibly because focusing on it kept them from paying attention to (and messing up) what they were instinctively doing right. Anyway, they were incapable of teaching it, so I stopped asking.

As I learned much later, when women say that they want a guy that makes them laugh, it's practically a tautology: they want a guy that they want. They have the causality backward -- they laugh because they're attracted to him, not the other way around -- and probably most of them aren't even aware of it. Of course, laughter is only a sign of attraction if they're laughing with you and not at you, so the sign of approval elicited by clowning around is a fake one that won't lead anywhere.

Thank goodness for the red pill and sites like this one.

SciVo said...

Incidentally, I believe that the same general rule applies to business as well, since it has to do with respect. Even mundane observations can get a laugh if they're uttered by the boss.

Corvinus said...

@SciVo

I understand completely. I made a stupid statement, which did feel off to me when I posted it.

Along these lines, Quentin Tarantino provides a cringe-worthy example of what not to do.

Mastermind said...

Corvinus, stop being a pussy. Just because Vox criticizes you doesn't mean he's right and even if he is it doesn't mean that you have to fold like a Republican.

1sexistpig2another said...

fold like a Republican.

Words do not convey how this resonated in my mind. So sad but so true. The one thing we can count on Republican politicians to do is to fold. Once you've given up the high ground, what else is there left to do except double down on stupid right along with the Democrats.

Ron said...

@VD
clever is not the point I want to put across.

then what is? Aggression? Amused indifference? Focused on something else? Confident?

Ron said...

Power

rumpole5 said...

I'm sorry, "I'll be back" is such an iconic quote (perhaps even equal to "I'm shocked, shocked" - in Casa Blanca) that one can't refrain from an occasional quote. If that condemns me to Delta status. So be it!

Rek. said...

If that condemns me to Delta status. So be it!

Good thing about deltas, they are accepting.
They are the guys who'll proudly say, "I am not a king and I can live with that!"

Better than the gammas' whining lament, "I should be the king!"

genericviews said...

Arnold should stop doing Arnold too. There is no excuse for a cyborg to look that old. And while we are at it, Stalone needs to retire too. Chuck Norris can still do whatever he damn well pleases.

1sexistpig2another said...

There is no excuse for a cyborg to look that old

Low quality skin samples? Arnold's cyborg appears to have the same problem that Spock had.

Chuck Norris can still do whatever he damn well pleases.

Hear hear!!!

Kyle Smith said...

Context and personality trump specific examples. Not sure if I have ever done this, but if I had- it was probably funny at the time and probably got the girl. Don't ever do X or you will be Y is usually a losing formula for anything as complicated as interactions - honestly its an overall frame. Someone who is alpha can do all the things on the don't do list and it will be awesome when they do it. Someone of lower status can do them and fail.

And attraction is not always first unless you are a pickup artist. Women are mostly simpletons sexually, but not that simple. Wit is a sign of high intelligence and makes social interactions more enjoyable for everyone. My guess is Vox has a horrible Arnold impression.

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