I just blew an opportunity to meet a potential Christian wife. Not a carousel rider. Found her online and got an intro(facebook) from a female high school aquaintance.No attraction over chat? Over CHAT? That's ridiculous. The truth is that she either didn't like CT's picture or something in his profile, but she didn't want to look shallow in front of her friend. So, she subjected CT to a test, which like a good Delta, he promptly failed.
Anyhow, she started with the big compatibility questions. I told her I wanted to meet for coffee or talk on the phone rather than use this damnable chat. She said she never dated much and wanted to take it very slow. Chat only.
A small voice in my head says, this rocket will never launch.
So I answer the questions and sure enough she's gone. No attraction over chat. Big surprise. I'm pretty sick about this a) because there are very few who aren't carousel riders. b) we agree on some of the big compatiblity issues.
So I read the post on breaking frame. How should I have handled this?
From the aforementioned post: "the interrogation test is not a qualitative one concerning what answers are provided by the man, but rather, a quantitative one concerning his willingness to submit to questioning. It's binary. If you answered the questions, then you failed."
What he should have done was one of three things:
- Refused to answer the questions and sent her an email saying something dismissive like "No thanks. Shoot me an email when you're ready to be a big girl and actually leave the house." If she's going to act like a child, then treat her like a child.
- Agree to answer the questions with one caveat. "I will answer one question for each picture of you in a bikini you send me. Two if they'll get me in trouble at work."
- Ignore her. When she wiggles the bait and gets in contact later, nuke her with "Yeah, I don't think so. But hey, good luck! Name a cat after me."
I repeat: BEING NICE SCORES NEGATIVE POINTS WITH WOMEN.
Got it? And being meekly submissive to them is only that much worse. Women are not attracted to nice guys and they despise submissive men. Notice that the woman didn't give a damn about the fact that they agreed on the big compatibility issues. Passing the test had nothing to do with his answers to her questions. He was already toast because he was foolish enough to submit to her frame.