The single women I know often seem better equipped than their male peers to lead a fulfilling solo life.... single middle-aged men often seem to lack the va-va-voom of female peers. I told Saturday’s audience that, as far as I could see, the main reason so many middle-aged women remained solo was that they’d rather be on their own than bed down with males so unkempt their jumpers had their own ecosystems. I also recounted how a beautiful, talented friend of mine – then in her late fifties – once had a date with a man who bought a sandwich from Boots for lunch and offered her half.Note that "the men in the audience" refers to the 7 men in an audience of over 200 at a discussion panel entitled "How to be a Single Woman in 2013". And we know exactly what sort of scalzied manboobs attend that kind of event.
I thought (and rather hoped) that the men in the audience would stage a rebellion and protest. Instead, they all nodded. A chap in his late forties said that at his lonely hearts dining society the women were sexy and savvy, while the men lacked social graces and were inclined to be “a bit odd”. Bridget Jones’s famous fear of dying alone and being found three weeks later, “half-eaten by an Alsatian”, has begun to seem more applicable to male singletons.
The reason that all the aging single men who socialize with her aging single friends are so unkempt and undesirable is because older single men who keep up with their appearances don't date women their own age. They date and marry women who are younger, usually between 5 to 15 years younger. This is the result of the sexual difference in declining SMV and MMV.
And it's fascinating to observe that whether they are young women in college or old women approaching retirement age, most women would rather be alone than settle for a gamma or low delta. What this means in practical terms is that playing a long game, being yourself, and expecting post-Wall women to settle for you once they descend from the carousel or end their marriages and belatedly discover their lack of options will not necessarily work for those who are omegas and lower gammas.
28 comments:
"And we know exactly what sort of scalzied manboobs attend that kind of event."
I'm calling bullshit. There are usually 8 per 200, and one of them is into older dames, or for the week. Nothing like a massive collection of pissed off bimbos to choose from, when you have no morals and a taste for old tang. All I'm saying.
As for them bitching about half a sandwich? No problems, eat at the finest diners. These broads can, and will, afford it. Just to be seen with young, or strong, or exciting. Heck, you can hook up with two or three or four of them, right then and there, even getting a number put into your pocket, your front pocket, with a hand promise for surety. And you can be really picky. Just... if she has a mustache, or belly, crossed eyes, or bowed legs... come on, not even a contest of extremes is worth that. Plus, they can't get pregnant.
Half a sandwich was magnanamous. She is supposed to be making the sandwiches and doing the laundry.
I think gammas would work, but they would be uniformed butlers who serve out of their own income as providers.
How can post wall women be so OUT OF TOUCH with reality?! That would be like an average guy who's a 5 wanting to date nobody but a 10! The difference is most guys will see where they rank, and will adjust their aim accordingly. How can women be so out of touch?! I don't get it...
How can women be so out of touch?
Women tend to be of the "once hot, always hot" philosophy. Therefore, if she was ever a 7, however briefly, she always considers herself to be that desirable, at least for her age group.
Susan Walsh has demonstrated how ferociously the denial operates, so it shouldn't be a surprise that women who are less observant and less exposed to Game would be more obtuse about it.
"Ain't nothing in the world more ugly than an old woman." - Fred Sanford.
Maybe it's because men prefer to lead a simple life.
It was only after I started dating that meals became an EVENT. Left to my own, a sandwich hits the spot just fine. You eat and the you get on with life.
It's also possible these older guys have developed a healthy "who gives a damn" attitude.
Women tend to be of the "once hot, always hot" philosophy. Therefore, if she was ever a 7, however briefly, she always considers herself to be that desirable, at least for her age group.
I would add that part of their delusion is their peers are their baseline and they don't get all that much exposure to the sub 30 set when they get into the mid to late 40s. And even baring that they will grade on a curve "Considering I have had 2 kids" "considering I am 45" "considering I don't work out".
I disagree that middle age women are more capable of coping with being single though. I recently pointed out elsewhere that the reason I had to switch to a payment up front policy for first time customers was I was being stiffed by so many single middle age white women. I also found it difficult keeping this group from wasting copious amounts of time on non relevant chit chat.
Either they were trying to live out some cougar fantasy or they were incredibly loanly, and I have a hard time believing the former because I am 10-20 years younger and have a picture of my family on my desk.
The conference should have been titled - Girl Up and Marry Those Gammas!!!! (GRRRRL!)
So now women preferring to stay single over being expected to marry what they find unattractive is ok? Time to screech gender inequality.
And what honestly, if you have to use the term "va-va-voom" to describe her, you both have already missed the train...and maybe derailed the next one.
Middle aged single women can buy most of the male help they need around the house, but they gotta take Bubba The Handyman's word that what he is doing is needed and quality work to boot. But there are still everyday little stuff they can't do - them pickles taunt them from the second shelf of the fridge for months before they can get their nefew to open them at Thanksgiving. We had (yes, had) a two-time divorced mother of two whose daughters were friends with mine. Everytime the mother would ask our daughter over for a sleepover there would be some small something that none of them could do and asked if I would not mind. One night she calls at 10 pm crying what seemed like the instant tears women shut on and off like femininity - she had locked the dogs in a room and could not get the door open and they were "messing" all over the room (sounded like they had been there all day). I asked the pertinent questions about what she had done to get the door open (removed the knob, tried prying with the screwdriver, even the old credit card trick) but still the door was closed. So I put my pants back on and drive over there and here stands the oldest daughter with a flashlight pointing to the door so that I can see. I take a look at the door, I look at the lock, and I tell the girl "you are gonna want to back up a step," she does, I raise my foot and kick the door in. Turn, walk out the front door and call out a "Good night," as I walk back to the truck. (Girl talks about it for WEEKS)
Next time there is a function, the mother tells my wife how grateful she is that I was around to help. My wife says, with a serious, no nonsense voice, "you don't want to know how much rent I am going to charge you next time you bother my husband."
Point of the story being that women CANNOT simply live without men - we built EVERYTHING and there are too many "little" things that they need daily help with and men are the first place women turn to in a crisis.
Susan Walsh has demonstrated how ferociously the denial operates, so it shouldn't be a surprise that women who are less observant and less exposed to Game would be more obtuse about it.
It must be a difficult thing for a woman to come to terms with the fact that her sexual appeal to basically all men except her husband (who may still be wearing "wife goggles") is non-existent, and to misinterpret flirty banter as actual legitimate sexual interest.
I work at a large corporation and all around me are 50+ women, middle manager types, and other positions. They don't even register as sexual beings to me. The thought of having sex with them is probably akin to how women perceive having sex with omegas.
I recently had my bachelor party, and there was the obligatory strip club visit. Funny, I didn't see the 40+ and 50+ dancers, maybe they had them hidden away somewhere else from the main stage. To my best estimation, not a single dancer was over 30. The girl my buddy bought a dance for me was 24. Interestingly, I used it as an opportunity to run some Game just to see the response.
@MarkyMark.
I'd say these old women are more in touch with reality, AS IT EXISTS TODAY, than you give them credit for having. You're looking at the coming economic apocalypse, they see nothing but steady payments from their corporate drone job followed by steady pension or retirement payments forever.
They see the security of a strong police force, the nice handsome firemen, the kindly young doctor, all of whom will always and forever be there to provide them with safety and security. Because it has been that way for decades, and they do not possess the ability to see the gathering storm clouds that will wash away ALL their comfort zones.
So from their perspective, YOU are the one who is delusional.
I continue to have great fun with my carpool partner, a late 50's widow who smashed into the wall probably when she was around 22 years old. It is amusing to lead her to make statements that are completely contradictory while I'm navigating through traffic, such as lamenting the spending in Washington DC while in the next sentence condemning Congress for not granting the congressional staff the same level of perks and benefits that the congress critters themselves get. She confirms the next time we're in the car that our conversations have lingered in her mind and she often goes on the internet to seek out the facts. Amusing.
JC,
I'm not talking about the macro reality of society; I'm talking about reality on the micro, or individual level. I'll use myself as an example.
I'm 51. While I'm not bad looking for my age, I'm still 51! It's been a long time since teenaged girls found me handsome. While it would be nice if that still happened to me, those days are long gone; that's my reality, so I have to deal with it. Older women may find me appealing, but younger ones will not. And you know what? That's as it SHOULD be! That's reality, and I have to deal with it. I don't see why that is so difficult a concept to grasp, nor can I understand how women can be in denial of the obvious. I mean, when the 2nd looks stop coming, doesn't something go off in their little minds that, duh, something is different, and that she's not as hot as she once was? Again, as a guy, this is obvious; I simply cannot wrap my mind around the disconnect from reality.
And yeah, Susan Walsh IS divorced from reality! When I saw that recent post of hers trying to debunk Rollo's graph (something SOLIDLY based in reality, BTW!), I was like, WTF, really?! How can you ignore the freakin' obvious?! That strikes me as trying to deny and ignore gravity...
The lack of dating options for older women is always framed as the women being too darned sexy for the men their age. As you point out, the only men their age interested in dating women their own age are the very bottom of the barrel. This isn't proof that the women are too darn sexy, but proof that they aren't nearly as sexy as they think they are. I wrote about the NY Post doing the exact same thing in my post Grannies Gone Wild several months back.
The other thing which stands out is the complaint about the level of courtship men are willing to offer. Their expectations of "normal courtship" are almost certainly pure fantasy to begin with, but aside from that high investment courtship only makes sense when the prize is big (marriage to a young and still attractive woman) and the time window the man has to expend his energy on courtship is short. These women want lifelong courtship (instead of offering lifelong commitment), and they want men to not skimp on the investment. Wanting this is understandable, but being outraged that men would not offer the same courtship deal to a grandmother that they would have offered to a 20 year old woman seeking marriage in the past is the hight of solipsism.
Doom may be onto something. That sort of meeting sounds like it might be a worthwhile hunting ground.
That being said, I think there are a fair number of middle-aged men who have pulled out of the market. They've had it with women who regard them as nothing but a sperm bank and a paycheck. Or just a paycheck, to be seized through taxes.
Hint to women: There is a reason why the Androsphere is saturated with bitterness. A woman offering companionship can raise her MMV considerably.
I remember an article several years ago in the newspaper about women in their 70s and 80s becoming prostitutes because men at that age or older wanted someone close in age. They claimed business was booming. Yuck. Fred Sanford was right - "Ain't nothing in the world more ugly than an old woman."
They thought they were the cat's meow, though - still attractive and sexy. Women are so delusional.
You know, it occurs to me that if men were this self-delusion, you would see a constant flood of articles written by retired athletes and men in their 50's, 60's, and 70's, talking about how they don't understand why older men aren't more acknowledged for their physical prowess. We understand and come to grips with the fact that we break down as we get older, strength and ability decline. Women can't seem, for the life of them, to grasp that being in her 40's is to the dating market like being a running back in his 30's. Your best years are behind you, and all you have to hope for is that ANYONE out there is willing to gamble on you and you don't hurt yourself.
The other thing which stands out is the complaint about the level of courtship men are willing to offer.
What's the matter with being offered half a sandwich anyhow? Has she never seen The Lady and the Tramp? Has she no romance? Has she no soul?
I'm 33 and way more organized and cleaner than most women I know... especially in the bathroom department...
and they want men to not skimp on the investment
Absolutely, because skimping on the investment is a sure sign that the prize is no longer big. That cuts deep.
~ Stingray
@Stingray
Absolutely, because skimping on the investment is a sure sign that the prize is no longer big. That cuts deep.
Nailed it. http://www.wealthysinglemommy.com/moment-felt-like-single-mom-looser-dating-pecking-order-bear/
This is why in the process of maturing, women should learn to value themselves and market the value they have that are not based on looks. It is so sad to see a 50 year old woman still tarting it up as if she can still pass for 40. But 50 and still dating is a sign that they never learned how to be mature, wise, and focused on being a guide to others instead of still trying to stoke her own ego.
--Hale
Nailed it. http://www.wealthysinglemommy.com/moment-felt-like-single-mom-looser-dating-pecking-order-bear/
She isn't the typical single mom, her husband essentially died with the severe brain trauma. I have witnessed 3 people I know change substantially with brain injuries, so I can give her a bad luck pass on that one.
However, she has no sense of reality. Sure she looks well kept, and maybe if she dolled up could merit a 6 on a bangable scale, but with 2 kids she isn't a 6 on any LTR scale. Also, she advocates a 10-year marriage contract. You have to be loopy to think that is good for women over 35. She has an immense amount of bitterness toward SAHM.
Somewhat OT, but y'all will find this funny: Grad school Barbie
http://joannarenteria.com/2011/12/13/i-was-considering-grad-school-and-then-i-saw-this-hilarious/
"The other thing which stands out is the complaint about the level of courtship men are willing to offer.
What's the matter with being offered half a sandwich anyhow? Has she never seen The Lady and the Tramp? Has she no romance? Has she no soul? "
Ungrateful bint should have been happy he was willing to give half his dinner. Considering the food probably had a lot more value than her by the sounds of it.
In reality though girls seem to be constantly in this "Princess" peter pan world where they expect everything to just fall at their knees and be given anything they want because "It's what they deserve". They feel they "deserve" everything, without putting any work or effort in, tis amusing.
This appears to be the inverse of the Apex Fallacy. Or perhaps it's just the complement of it. Women think all men are Apex Alphas, and then when they're confronted by an utter lack of Alphas, they don't quite know what to make of it.
Where have all the good men gone?
Here's a truth for women. Good men marry young women. Doesn't matter what age the men are, they always marry young women. So, if you want to walk down the aisle with a good man, be a young bride.
Old brides walk down the aisle with half of a leftover sandwich.
I'm a 56 yr old IT Manager and one of the cute 30 something women told me today that I was in her dream last night. As a former competitive swimmer, I am in much better shape than most of the guys in my IT dept. I class myself as a Greater Beta, but so many of my male co-workers are out of shape slobs. As a happily married man, I will not be following up on her subconscious interest in me, but it does boost the ego.
What's the matter with being offered half a sandwich anyhow? Has she never seen The Lady and the Tramp? Has she no romance? Has she no soul?
That was spaghetti, not a sandwich.
She isn't the typical single mom, her husband essentially died with the severe brain trauma. I have witnessed 3 people I know change substantially with brain injuries, so I can give her a bad luck pass on that one.
That is one version of the story she tells (the one on her about page). In that version she tried to keep it together and he left her. But she explains in another post that she knew on her wedding day that she would not remain with her husband:
...I heard a voice — clear as day — ring out in my mind. It said, “Emmanuel will not be the last man you love.”
It was simple as that. It was not a call to jump on the nearest white steed and bolt. It was not an ominous omen. It was a statement of fact. I was supposed to marry this man. And then there would be at least one other man.
But the marriage was a good thing, because she got what she wanted out of it:
My marriage to my husband was perfect for that time of my life. And divorcing when we did was also perfect.
My marriage was a success, even though — and maybe especially because — it ended.
Ending the marriage was great for her, even though she explains (on another post) how much her 3 year old son is suffering because of it:
My son Lucas is going through a phase when he misses his dad a lot. When he stubs his toe, or is trying to unwind at bedtime, he calls out, “I want Daaadddy.” There is an uncomplicated and raw sorrow there that is different than the other many times he cries in a given day. I imagine during these moments he thinks to the comfort of his dad, who lives a mile away, and who he sees twice each week. Maybe when you’re barely 3, the sadness of not getting a sprinkle cookie bleeds into the sadness of missing a parent.
She also draws into serious question the claim on her about page that her husband was the one who left when she writes (emphasis mine):
I am still finding my way in romance, but I have found sex and passion in new chapters and spades – mind and heart and body-reckoning experiences that would have eluded me had I honored the “death-do-us part.”
Instead, whether it was a soothsaying higher being whispering my fortune, or my own subconscious calling for me to find my joy, I don’t know.
Well 200 single women and only 7 single men in the audience. That says something, doesn't. A women in her 40's single say something so. This kind of behavior: We are better than you - The same old male bashing chanted by bitter women is the cause of 200 single women.
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