Review: The Married Man Sex Life Primer

The Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011by Athol Kay
CreateSpace (344 pages, $14.99/9.99 ebook, April 2011)

The Married Man Sex Life Primer is, without a doubt, one of the more eye-opening and alarmingly informative books one is ever likely to read. Athol Kay is one of the foremost theoreticians of practical Game, with a particular focus on its application to married life. His background as a male nurse is significant, not only in relation to his highly developed ability to communicate with women, but in his frighteningly clinical ability to write more freely about bodily fluids and body parts than anyone since Galen or possibly the Marquis de Sade.

And if ever a book should come with a warning label, it is this one. Kay has arguably been remiss in not attaching a large sticker shrieking TMI in bright red letters. I, for one, am not entirely certain I could bear to face either Kay or his superlatively obliging wife, Jennifer, should I ever encounter either of them. On the other hand, it is eminently clear that the man is clearly doing something very right indeed.

The most significant aspect of Married Man Sex Life is the way it focuses on what married men can actually do to improve their marital sex lives as opposed to waiting for things that their wives should - but probably will not - do. Kay's thinking is based on the combination of a basic logical conclusion, (the only actions that will reliably be performed are those which can be performed by the change-seeking actor) with an important observation, (women like to follow their husband's lead).

Kay views things through the conventional Game perspective of Sex Rank, in which individuals are rated from one to ten with regards to their sexual appeal to the opposite sex. Given the observed human behavior which indicates that both men and women regularly desire sex with those of a higher sex rank, Kay concludes that the primary non-medical reason for a lack of sex within a marriage is a relative decline in sex rank on the part of the husband. His solution is both logical and straightforward. To improve your sex life, improve your sex rank. Much of the book is dedicated to various practical, tactical measures of doing precisely that. Kay doesn't merely tell the reader he will have to become a better, more desirable man, he provides him with some detailed instructions for doing so.

Kay freely confesses that he is neither a pick-up artist nor an ALPHA with a encyclopedic history of sexual conquests, he is by nature a BETA. But counterintuitively, it is precisely this that makes his book so valuable, first because his ALPHA behaviors are learned and therefore articulated, second because he has a much more sophisticated and nuanced approach to dealing with sexual disappointment and/or rejection than the ALPHA's instinctive resort of moving immediately on to another woman.

The Married Man Sex Life Primer is realistic. It doesn't promise miracles and it is forthright about the possibility that even a man who follows Kay's advice and improves his Sex Rank will still not be able to interest his wife in improving their marriage. He can be brutally explicit about the possible consequences of a man's long-term failure to improve himself and is not gentle to either sex with regards to their common failure to meet the opposite sex's marital needs.

Text Sample: Men who are highly attractive have firsthand knowledge that women are definitely not the moral angels that they may like to present themselves as. The good girl image is nothing more than the social equivalent of the biological concealed ovulation strategy which was covered in the Body Agenda chapter. Women very much like sex with men they find attractive and can be exceptionally devious and insistent on getting it.

It is extremely politically incorrect to say so, but all women have a component of slut in their makeup. The trick is not to fear it, seek to sanction it, or flee it, but to adapt to the presence of the slut in your woman and harness it for your mutual enjoyment. But if you don’t pay her active attention to account for her slut influence, you might find that it gets up to all sorts of mischief.

The Married Man Sex Life Primer isn't merely for those who languish in miserable marriages, or even for men who are already married. As Kay states with regards to the purpose of his book, it is for both men and women who wish to improve what is, after all, the core bedrock of every marriage. I highly recommend it, albeit with the requisite warning that it is sufficiently explicit to make Japanese tentacle porn look conservative.