Wednesday, March 9, 2011

The Gift of the Gamma

In which NiceGuy reveals that the gamma's view of the world as it should be does not accord with his experience of reality:
I was in my first year of attending one of the world's best grad schools and I didn't have a girlfriend. My cousin didn't even have a regular job, go figure. Boy, that made me feel pathetic. I really didn't feel like meeting Kara. I didn't like having my lack of a girlfriend painfully rubbed in my open sores.  So a few hours later, my aunt, my cousin and "Kara" show up. My mouth drops. GAWD! She was... radiant. She had a pretty face, the exact kind of curly brown hair that I like and she was barely over 5'2" (I like petite women!). She was a gorgeous, little petite Goddess. And, she had the body of a porn-star. Now I was jealous.

My cousin, although younger than me, is taller than me. He's a bit intimidating at first, and boy, I was really feeling inadequate. I was really feeling like "what's wrong with me that a woman like Kara won't date me? Am I not tall enough? Am I not attractive enough? Do I smell bad?" Mentally, I was reviewing all the possible flaws I might have. I was starting to get depressed.

So, we start socializing. Kara hits it off with my sister straight-away. My sister is very willing to say none-too-flattering things about men, and this is an automatic route for women to bond with her. My sister starts talking to Kara about what impolite pigs guys are, and gets a laugh. Kara starts to feel a bit more comfortable and starts to talk about herself for a few minutes; she really seems like a nice girl. Eventually, my cousin rolls his eyes and grumbles to her "Don't you ever shut up? You talk SO much."

I'm aghast. It was that moment that I started wishing that society would bring-back dueling. I would slap my cousin across the face with a glove and say "Suh! You have insulted the dignity of this young lady! I challenge you to sabers at dawn!" Well, I would need a saber, but you know what I mean.

My sister chastises my cousin: "OH, VERY nice. Very classy. Kara, why are you even with him??"  Mentally, I'd asked myself the same question the instant I saw her. Kara just shrugs and giggles. I can tell she really likes him.

So, now it's time for the presents.

I knew what I wanted for Christmas: I wanted a girlfriend. I got a clock-radio. I don't remember what Kara got, but it was exactly the kind of sensible, useful present that my mom gets for people. Kara was polite, she says "thank you" and apologizes for not bringing anything for anyone else, she obviously didn't expect to have all this attention lavished on her! What presents did my cousin bring for Kara?   Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Bubkiss.

Hell, if she was my woman, I'd be giving her presents every other week!
The fascinating thing about the gamma mindset is the way in which it causes the gamma to stubbornly cling to his preconceptions in the face of his own observations.  There are several clear gamma signs on display here.  The first is the extreme level of the interior white-knighting.  While deltas and to a lesser extent betas are also prone to placing women on pedestals and acting as their rescuers and champions, only the gamma is going to fantasize about killing another man for nothing more than the crime of being mildly impolite to his own girlfriend. The gamma doesn't even know this girl, he has just met her, and he's already dreaming of challenging his own cousin to a duel over her nonexistent honor. 

The second one is the introspective narcissism.  Whereas the delta might feel envious of the guy with the girl, his first reaction is to look up to the other man and respect him, if not admire him.  The gamma's reaction, on the other hand, is entirely self-referential and negative - what's wrong with me? - rather than about the other guy.  What is right with him?  This narcissistic navel-gazing is why it is so hard for gammas to learn anything that will help improve their situation; they operate in a closed-loop that doesn't allow for much in the way of new input.

The third indication of gamma is the propensity for gift-giving.  Because the gamma doesn't assign much intrinsic value to himself, he tends to get caught up in attempting to provide external value as substitute compensation for the value he perceives to be receiving from the woman.  This is in direct contradiction to the alpha assumption that because his attention is valuable in itself, he has no need to provide anything of external value to the woman.  But what the gamma fails to realize is that he is not offering gifts so much as tribute, and tribute is what a defeated inferior pays to the victor to whom he has surrendered.

It is no accident that so much romantic language is framed in the language of defeat and submission, since so much of it is written by lovelorn gammas. Dante, for all his literary immortality, never got anywhere with Beatrice. What the gamma always fails to understand when he offers his heart so freely and completely is that a woman does not value an effortless conquest any more than a man does.

Gifts to a woman are fine when they flow from genuine affection or sheer abundance.  But the moment that a man gives a gift to a woman in an attempt to impress her or win her favor, he has reduced his value in her eyes.

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

NiceGuy is like one of those vaguely catamitic children who prance around with their little preen presented.

A gift that keeps on giving, analytically speaking.

Wondering Goym said...

Gamma mentality is ADDICTIVE!

It's sweet oblivion to conceptualize women in mythological terms.I still slightly crave the Femme Fetale/man eater that can play about with me, and instinctively strum my heart-strings like a rock star.

Even if you end up ho-slaying a few and see through the illusion, part of you still earns for
La Poupée qui fait non

Battlefrog said...

As I always say (mainly to myself), better to die as an omega than live as a gamma.

Anonymous said...

I always had a thing for the big b@@bs and curvy figure. Most girls in this category ending up being between the 6 and 8 range. My alpha buddies would always joke with me, but I truly didn't care. I had a saying... aim for 10s but two 5s make a 10. As a result, although lacking in many game techniques I've now read and come to understand, I didn't care or get nervous around the 10s back in the day. I was the wingman mostly and I was cool with that. The 10s loved me and I loved being around them and watching my alpha buddies operate.

My theory is you can be an alpha in your own range. Your thoughts?

Bucktown

Markku said...

Having read those two posts, this guy feels like such a textbook example that I'm starting to suspect that he is a former gamma who has learned Game and is writing satire about his former self.

In my experience, people are rarely perfect textbook cases of a particular failure, there's always the occassional doing something right by accident, that gives the smell of reality.

This includes his name. Would he have chosen such a Game code word by accident? Possibly, but combining that with everything else, I smell a rat.

Anonymous said...

Markku, you're underestimating the degree to which a gamma or omega can absorb intellectual game principles while failing to transform.

Anonymous said...

He ended up with a nice Japanese girl after ditching some his "gamma" ways. Yet on the message board he reported she never put him through 1/10th the crap his previous "fiancee" did.

Nice Guy's board is a good example of what not to do with women, but it's also a good place to see that yes, many of the US ones at least are downright crazy when they aren't acting entitled.

Clarence

Anonymous said...

"My theory is you can be an alpha in your own range. Your thoughts?
"

Yikes, my theory is two 5's do not make ten, they make expensive bad dates and chubby bedfellows. If you think you can be alpha in your " own range " I think your just trying to explain to yourself that your something your not. Learn game, and move up from the 5's.

----Freestater

Anonymous said...

FreeStater: The 2 5s part was a joke, man. As I stated "most" were in the 6 to 8 range, but I've had a few 9 and 10s. But, I'm a realist. I'm a handsome dude, but I'm 5'8". All of my alpha friends are over 6 foot. Thing is, lots of 9s and 10s are prudes and it was not uncommon to see even the alphas crash and burn on occassion, at which point they'd try to muscle in on the 8s. What I'm saying is, you have to honest about who you are and going head to head against 6-foot alphas is a looser's game. I scored more than some alphas.

Bucktown

NateM said...

Well, battlefrog the gamma and omega are two very different animal and both just as sorry of creatures. The key difference being omegas are a blank slate of sorts in that they don't have or never had any ability to deal with people, while gammas are generally normal, non defective individuals who by experience are programming have fallen into a bad cycle. Basically for gammas it is their own brain getting in their way. I would wager they are slightly more intelligent than average so their ability to overthink things hurts them.

"My theory is you can be an alpha in your own range. Your thoughts?
"

No. That usually just contributes to the delusions of the gamma. I had a friend in college who was the textbook gamma but in his mind he was hot stuff, sure it helped his confidence but didn't change the fact that he was what he was. He could paint stripes on his side all he wanted but that didn't make him a zebra

Anonymous said...

"Learn game, and move up from the 5's."-Freestarter

A good five is like a good video rental that's been collecting dust at the movie store. Inexpensive, entertaining, and returnable.

-Wondering Goym

Anonymous said...

Nate: Read my reply to freestater.

Isn't the whole purpose of game to score? Most of society views skinny, bony-ass girls as 10s. I just never saw it that way. I saw big b@@bs and curves as 10s - even if it meant the girl was "nice" "quiet" "non-status" "plain" whatever term you want to call it. Thing is, these girls' figures were 10s (even if my buddies couldn't get past their magazine-model perceptions of what a perfect girl should look like and would rate them as 8s).

So the bigger questions seems to me to be... is Game scoring, or is game scoring with 10s? I scored plenty and these 8s were just as fun as those skinny, no-ass, polular 9-10s were.

If you're scoring, why bother scoring!

Bucktown

Anonymous said...

Nate: I think I found a better term for what I was trying to say earlier. Instead of saying "you can be an alpha at any range," I sould have said, "You can be a mac-daddy and get your fair share in any range". Yeah, I never considered myself an alpha, but I was one happy mac-daddy.

Bucktown

Battlefrog said...

Well, battlefrog the gamma and omega are two very different animal and both just as sorry of creatures.

Well at least as an omega, I'm able to be as happy as a hobbit in his hole for years on end.

True, I'll start to thinking and regretting stuff every 4th or 5th year and get depressed for a couple months, but it never persists. The gamma, on the other hand, seems to be in a constant state of self inflicted mental torture.

Maybe there are some omegas that stew in their own juices, but I've always been pretty good at keeping things out of sight and out of mind. If I live till 80 without ever having a family, I'm well aware that it will only be a blip on the radar of human suffering.

Markku said...

It's about the ability to score (and keep) what most men would view as score X or higher, where X depends on your greek letter. For the sake of argument, you could already be scoring as high as you want to be, in which case you wouldn't need Game. But even in that case, you would be restricting your options, because you might later lay your eyes on a woman who is out of your league in the general comptetition.

NateM said...

Well the one difference in omega vs delta is that the omega is saved the immense difficult that gammas have in taking the first step, admitting what they know currently is wrong. Because omegas realize they know nothing that makes this step easy to traverse. Gammas on the other hand will encounter a herculean amount of butthurt that often prevents them from even Starting to try to change. Sure Omegas have no small amount of difficulty learning the things others intuit, but as long as they are willing to make the change and work to be different, they can do it. And in many cases omegas see anything as better than the situation they find themselves in.

LibertyPortraits said...

Reading this makes me sick because I was a total Gamma in high school and the first years of college. I have definitely moved into the Delta category as of this time and might be able to emulate some aspects of Game because I'm smart enough, but it is still a process.

Eric S. Mueller said...

Interesting. I recently realized I'm a gamma. A married gamma, but a gamma nonetheless. Now I'm trying to understand what to do about it.

Josh said...

Eric,

Athol Kay is your friend there.

Jego said...

Reading VD's blogposts on game in the Vox Popoli blog, and now this one, I always thought I was some kind of sigma-gamma hybrid that leaned more towards the gamma side. But after reading this post, and seeing that this is doesnt even come close to describing me, maybe Im not as much gamma as I thought originally. I do exhibit some sort of negative feeling towards cliques but maybe it's not bitterness because I fear rejection, but genuine disdain. Now I dont know what that makes me but I'll keep reading.

Anonymous said...

No halfway sane society ever permitted women much leeway in the process of sexual selection. That is all.

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