“If a man does not know to what port he is sailing, no wind is favorable.”
I know that most readers want to get down to specific techniques to generate more success with women. However, a major theme behind this blog is that Game can be extrapolated out to other areas of human action. I want to take a look at a foundational aspect of how the typical Alpha/Sigma approaches life, and what we can learn from that.
Watch an alpha or sigma in action – not just in approaching women, but in general as well. They act with purpose. The alpha knows what he wants. Granted, it may be to rut his way through the social scene à la Roissy, but he still knows. The sigma knows what he wants. In fact, the sigma will pursue his desires so completely that it nearly removes him from the socio-sexual herd. The point is that alphas and sigmas know what they want and where they want to be. They don't just drift along in life, hoping that the waves will bring them something. They have a destination, they take the necessary measures to reach it, and they recognize the “favorable wind.”
When I came to understand this, it completely changed the way I approached most things in life. When I was first starting to learn Game, I rarely acted with intent. For example, I would run into a certain girl (we'll call her “Ella”) at the music venues I would frequent. As I had already been improving in my interactions with women, we'd talk, engage in rapport, and. . . nothing would happen. In truth, I approached her like I did most other things in life, indecisively. I was waiting for something to happen. This changed when I had my arse kicked by a natural Alpha friend of mine. He saw me chatting with Ella, saw that she was telegraphing interest, and pulled me aside.
“What do you want?” he asked.
I just stood there. I wasn't sure what he was asking me.
“Do you want her or not?” he asked.
“Then stop screwing around and ask her out.”
I reopened, jumped back into rapport, and then closed for a date. It worked.
When watching alphas in action, one notices that they approach life with purpose. I'm not saying they act with a particularly noble, moral, or productive purpose, but they act, nonetheless. Just look at any jobless alpha who's dating a high-tier woman. He desires to do little more than drink beer and sleep with his girlfriend (and her sister), and he gets what he wants.
Deltas, on the other hand, aren't known for their decisiveness. When they get married, it's usually because they are pushed by circumstances or by the woman. When they go out with friends, they don't take the lead, but tag along. When they see an attractive woman at the bar, they have to be goaded into approaching her by their male-support group. You can be running great techniques, but if you don't begin to alter the way you view everything – relationships, women, and yourself – your Game will fall apart the moment you get into a viable relationship.
So how did learning this affect my life?
I first met my fiancee through a group of mutual friends. No one suggested that I talk to her and it wasn't arranged for us to meet. I thought she was attractive, so I approached her. I liked her personality, so I got her number. I wanted our relationship to be a romantic one, so I made that clear very early. My purpose was that I wanted her, and I acted on it. This isn't to say that I was running perfect Game. It was simply a result of learning how to want something.
The fact that you're actually seeking to improve your Game means that you've already recognized the problem and have determined to fix it. Continue in that vein.
1. Start to set goals for yourself in both the short term and the long term. These goals can range from, “I want her,” to, “I want to establish my authority in the office.” For those of you who already have goals and desires, learn to place those at the forefront.
2. Make your goals specific. When you have specific goals or desires, you become more choosy about how you spend your most valuable assets – your time and focus.
3. Stop being fatalistic about your life and relationships. Don't wait on someone else to make things happen in your life. Set your goals and pursue them. Don't be “Evil Guy”.
I'm not advocating the PUA lifestyle. I want to inspire other deltas (and gammas and omegas) to take back their masculinity from a rabidly feminized society. One of the best ways to do this is to pursue the things that you want.
Share your experiences and the goals you're setting below.