Women will hold you to a standard, at the threat of dumping you if you break it, when she herself is not holding that standard. They do the very things they wouldn’t want you doing, and rationalize it by saying they what she’s doing is actually different, when in all likelihood it’s even worse. They remember every thing you said, even from years ago, but can’t see a behavior they did just last week that contradicts her standards for you.This is the other side of the "she makes me a better man" coin. Have you ever noticed that you never hear women talking about how a man makes her a better woman? That's because women don't permit men to hold them to standards, let alone the same standards they set for men.
Women have no objective standard or morality, and thus no way to identify if they are right or wrong about anything. Instead, they use pure emotion to guide their behavior. If they feel good then it must be just. If they feel bad then it must not be. Since emotions can twist the perception of any event, she will simply do what she wants to do and find an emotional path or false strain of logic to convince her it was right.
The most amazing behavior I’ve seen in women is denying something that you caught them doing. You can show them evidence, right to their face, and they will deny it, and then find a way to blame you for it. I have been warned about this before, but was skeptical until I experienced myself. She is such an unreliable “witness” to her own behavior that there may be no point to ever getting an explanation from her about anything. If you don’t know the facts about something, and need her side of the story to get the facts, you’ll never get the facts.
This can't truly be considered hypocrisy, however, because that would imply the woman is fully aware of the double standard involved. It's best understood, and accepted, as an implicit double standard that tends to work in the female favor, just as the sexual double standard tends to work in the male favor. It's the way things are, so don't expect them to be otherwise in any male-female relationship.
Of course, if you've got a good memory, or are in the habit of writing things down, it can occasionally be amusing to see how sincerely they will tell you something that is absolutely 180 degrees opposite from something they told you every bit as credibly the previous time. And, as Roosh says, if you successfully call them on it, they will attempt to blame you for having had the sense to keep track of their ever-mutating stories. So, there is little point in doing so; it's usually better to let them think they have successfully defined reality for you.
The key is to grasp that, to the normal woman, it is the emotional truth of the now that is most relevant. After that is the acceptance by others of that emotional truth; the actual facts are tertiary at best.
If you are a man who loves women, you simply have to accept them as they are. They are not going to magically change their essence according to your preferences, and their dynamism is part of their charm.
31 comments:
If you're a man who is not an idiot, you look for a woman who is not an idiot.
All these discussions about men and women occur within the reality that MPAI. Most people ARE the masses.
Who the heck wants to marry the typical person, even if reality dictates that most will?
This is why I laugh at discussions like this one. I married a girl who is not as described. Neither do I fit the description of the typical man.
Good partnership leads to self-improvement by both husband & wife. That this is rare, yet prized, goes without saying.
Every human attribute occurs on a spectrum. Discussing the average is all heat, no light.
"Have you ever noticed that you never hear women talking about how a man makes her a better woman?"
Because she's already perfect just she way she is, and she ain't gotta change nothin' for no man!
Such a good blog post! Really inspirational you go girl
Can't wait for Roosh to get a steady girlfriend...he'll be blogging marriage advice as if he were a patriarch with 20 kids and 40 years of married life under his belt.
@dc,
Sorry, but AWALT even the smart ones. My wife, mother, and sister are not idiots, but they display EXACTLY the behavior described here.
A man makes her a better woman through pregnancy, where her selfishness will be exposed but the instincts align to eliminate it.
Jesus Christ has power even over Women's sinful nature, but they still need an uncucked church. But you aren't going to have as much fun.
"I want a long term relationship with a whore that will put out daily, but I want it to be exclusive!". Men too have their problems with rationality.
There is no middle resolution. Western Civilization and Christendom demand women be virgins and then select carefully (or better, let Christian strong Father choose).
There is no Christendom-lite where they can experience college and career, then repackage things. Their minds and emotions will be affected - as has often been mentioned, divorce correlates to N very well.
Even men, Augustine admitted "make me chaste, but not just yet". But that is the failure. Ought we let things decay for another generation or two while we have fun and bang! and hope we can pull up out of the powerdive before hitting the ground?
The Meek shall inhereit the earth. And at this rate the capitol will be Salt Lake City.
Yes. I used to think that there could be a rare exception. After having lots of girls, I have a girlfriend who is very religious and is always praying and trying to follow God's will. She is from a very traditional religious community and has a good sense of moral and sin. And loves me very much and is very sexually attracted to me.
I thought she was different but, after more than a year of relationship, I realized the last weeks that she is not different. All women are unable to respect deals. They hold you to your part of a deal but they are unable of meeting their part.
How do you build a family based on that? Now that we don't have the State on our behalf, as during the good old times. What do you do to avoid women behaving worse and worse until you end up being a slave? Even gaming them is not enough.
I would appreciate any advice, because I am desperate.
How do you build a family based on that? Now that we don't have the State on our behalf, as during the good old times. What do you do to avoid women behaving worse and worse until you end up being a slave? Even gaming them is not enough.
I'm no relationship guru (never been in one), but I presume it's like with children and employees. You set expectations and boundaries and then enforce them.
That's because women don't permit weak men to hold them to standards,
There, fixed it for you.
Can confirm, they're all like that. Even the high IQ, virginal, Christian good girls. Sometimes it makes you wonder if there will be any women in heaven, given what God has to say about liars. Puts a new spin on 'they'll be saved through childbirth'.
I'm no Muslim but Mohammad was right to make a woman's testimony worth half a mans. Even that may be too much.
Really, they're not much different than children. Set standards and consistently enforce them with consequences and they'll be happy and content. Don't put up with shit and when in doubt, assume they're gaslighting you.
Is it possible that this is the case only for pre- wall single women, and married women; that as a womans SMV declines she MUST accept and acknowledge objective reality in order to be objectively loved and appreciated?
Is it possible that this is the case only for pre- wall single women, and married women; that as a womans SMV declines she MUST accept and acknowledge objective reality in order to be objectively loved and appreciated?
Of course, women will be a nuisance in childless long-term relationships. Once you start making and raising babies, the complementary personalities of the male and the female start looking useful.
What's the point of a childless LTR? A break from the dating (or the sex tourism) market for one or both partners?
PA
"That's because women don't permit weak men to hold them to standards,”
Bingo !
Never had a problem holding my wife to certain standards, and then again Im not exactly known as a weak guy either.
The best option is don't pick a woman who "enjoys" keeping score. Not all women do this so it requires experience to know the right woman. Men need to test women and let them know they are being tested to see how she reacts. A woman that's sensitive will react badly and won't do it again. The non-sensitive woman will get back at you.
"Is it possible that this is the case only for pre- wall single women, and married women; that as a womans SMV declines she MUST accept and acknowledge objective reality in order to be objectively loved and appreciated?"
No its true for all women. What can happen though is that as her SMV declines and yours rises she may come to realize that she can't do any better than where she is now. That tamps a lot of things down so long as you have a baseline alpha going on.
Although not all women have that much sense.
Dexter said...
My wife, mother, and sister are not idiots, but they display EXACTLY the behavior described here.
it's come to my attention that my mother has been lying to me since i could count to nine.
also, she told me i'm no longer part of her family. quoted Bible verses at me to demonstrate that it was the "theologically correct" position.
i knew she was lying even as she said it but i was mostly just kind of in shock.
I had an argument with my grandmother about whether her car was overdue for an oil change. I noticed the windshield sticker and remarked that it was. She vehemently insisted that it wasn't, that it had been only 2,000 miles since her last oil change, and that she takes great care to get regular oil changes. When I gave up arguing over reality (to my credit, didn't spend very long at it), her conclusion was that I should have taken it in for her already.
DC reminds me of the guy in my Scout Troop who's stuff was better than yours, even if you showed him that your tent and his were consecutive serial numbers.
Stg58, believe what you wish. I've been married for 35 years, and if I don't know my wife by now (or if I'm still living some sort of fantasy) then I must surely be clueless.
We don't fit the nifty little silos I see discussed here and elsewhere, not in our personalities and not in our relationship. I readily admit to general faults, so no, I'm not "mine is always the best" guy (we've all known some of them.)
Yes, I have my own ideas on what makes for living life on Happiness Path. Given that I'm doing so and I see lots of others who are not (and I can often diagnose easily why they're in the ditch), I occasionally share my insights. Perhaps they only apply to people as peculiar as my wife and me.
PS: I'm a big, scary-looking man, so perhaps people (including women) simply don't contest me, and those who have (in the past) have been rhetorically stuffed so fast they walk away. (I also verbally intimidate people in my presence without any intent to do so.) Regardless of why, I don't relate to this topic of discussion. Moving on....
"They are not going to magically change their essence according to your preferences, and their dynamism is part of their charm."
This probably helps keep Gammas where they are. The inability to see it as inherent, because that would be sexist and disrespectful, or charming, because everybody has to be reasonable like me, will always get in the way.
DC, your obsession with one upping everyone here is what I'm referring to.
Hmmm. I apologize if I one-upped you. Perhaps I err in sharing my observations when I read comments espousing behavior patterns I've watched others use to their sorrow. But if you read my comment(s) as a version of Taylorism, perhaps I'm on the wrong track.
I was following along until I hit this: "dynamism is part of their charm"
How could that dynamism possibly be charming in any adult?
Stephen Ward said...
I was following along until I hit this: "dynamism is part of their charm"
How could that dynamism possibly be charming in any adult?
Women are adults? Who knew?
I've long thought of them as older teenagers.
their dynamism is part of their charm
Reminds me of the theory that human females subconsciously keep changing their clothing and appearance to simulate the variety craved by promiscuity-inclined males. I suppose behavior changes could work the same way too, though that feature is built-in enough with some women and their the monthly cycle.
Is it possible that this is the case only for pre- wall single women, and married women; that as a womans SMV declines she MUST accept and acknowledge objective reality in order to be objectively loved and appreciated?
Nope. Rollo and Dalrock have a lot on this subject. When her SMV declines, she enters her Eat Pray Love phase. "Grey Divorce" is a thing now. Older women overestimate their own SMV and underestimate that of their husband, so the women try to get a better deal despite their declining SMV.
dc.sunsets said...
But if you read my comment(s) as a version of Taylorism
*facedesk*
Taylor didn't spend all her time trying to one up everybody.
@iambriton
Is it possible that this is the case only for pre-wall single women, and married women; that as a womans SMV declines she MUST accept and acknowledge objective reality in order to be objectively loved and appreciated?
Actually, I think there may be a small kernel of truth in this. But the mistake is in thinking that women will automatically attain that kind of wisdom when they no longer have youth and beauty working in their favor. The more accurate assessment would be to say that IF they reach this level of awareness, it's likely to come only after their sexual power is pretty much vanished or compromised, and even then many of them aren't going to be capable of having learned a thing from their change in status.
Just a case in point from personal experience: A while back after I'd first found the manosphere and was starting to discover some red-pill truths, I began taking a hard look at the advice I'd received from women I'd known on romance and relationships. With my newfound awareness of SMP realities, I was finally able to recognize that pretty much all of it had been not only bad, but counter-poductive. It was "advice" given with the aim of making me work harder and expect less for the sake of their future benefit, because to swipe from Rollo, a man who was truly worthy their sexual attention would be a man who was already capable of, "Just Getting It." I eventually realized that the only useful information I ever got from women on male/female interaction came from those who had at least one of two characteristics in common:
1) They were considerably older and past their physical prime.
2) They were married and had children (usually sons).
One of those two, or possibly both; I've never encountered a woman with anything even resembling red-pill awareness for whom neither was true. I attribute this mostly to the fact that a woman who still has her looks can count on a lot of men automatically deferring to her, and a woman who is single and childless isn't going to have to worry much about how her sexual choices effect those who aren't her. Taking away that advantage and tying her fate to others through marriage and childbirth is definitely going to force a woman to consider some new perspectives -- though it should be said that many of those women will still be repulsed by that notion and stubbornly refuse to change, and many of those around her will still be too afraid to tell her she's making a mistake by doing so. I suspect that part of the burden in being a woman is that you'll never realize how much you really get away with, until you reach the point where you no longer can.
and their dynamism is part of their charm.
One man's dynamism is another man's capriciousness...
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