Thursday, September 8, 2016

Alpha Mail: going down the right way

Two days ago, I posted an exchange between a Gamma who wanted to know if that was how it was done or not and requesting a score. I pointed out that he had already been turned down, which he was reluctant to admit, observing that he was still theoretically in the game.

However, he was Delta enough to send me this last exchange and concede that my read on the situation had, in fact, been correct.
So...8pm tomorrow.  Small cooler of wine/beer, nibbles.  Inhaler. Towels.  Swimsuits optional.  You in?

That sounds great but I just realised evenings are not going to work out for me. The best time for me would be during the day so could we do lunch instead? Thursday would be good and I'm happy to go anywhere.
Fortunately, he had the good sense to recognize this as a rejection, and a demotion to the Friend Zone, and declined her suggestion. He also did a better job of keeping his communications shorter than hers, although I would not recommend mentioning either "nibbles" or "inhaler" in the future. The former is too cutesy and the latter is too indicative of being genetically defective.

His other mistake, although irrelevant at this point, was to explain WHY he was declining. NEVER explain your actions to a woman who has turned you down. Setting their hamsters to spinning in order to make sense of your words is half the battle, as it gets them thinking and thinking and thinking about you and wondering if perhaps they made the wrong call. I've had women who turned me down show up at my door after midnight in tears demanding to know why I only said "all right" and hung up. Women are insatiably curious creatures. Strangely enough, shutting the door yourself can sometimes inspire them to open it themselves.

There are few better displays of high value than the easy, taciturn, and genuinely nonchalant acceptance of rejection by a woman. Don't say something cute. Don't try to show her that you aren't disappointed or that you don't care. Don't try to slip in that little verbal stinger. Women can sniff out wounded male pride as well as sharks scent blood in the water. Just say "all right," and leave it at that. And if she tries to get back into the picture when you subsequently cut contact and focus your attention elsewhere, remember that she is doing so on your terms.

Remember, the difference between the Alpha and the Omega is that the Alpha only fails two-thirds of the time. This was an excellent learning opportunity for the Gamma, and I expect that if he is ruthlessly honest with himself, and applies the lessons he learned here next time, he'll continue to make positive progress towards Delta.

35 comments:

Shimshon said...

"Don't try to show her that you aren't disappointed or that you don't care."

Translation: Don't be John Scalzi.

VFM #7634 said...

Setting their hamsters to spinning in order to make sense of your words is half the battle, as it gets them thinking and thinking and thinking about you and wondering if perhaps they made the wrong call.

Their hindbrains really are like subconscious computer programs. They base their behavior toward you on their impression of your own sociosexual rank, which changes as you feed her information.

Of course, the typical case will be for the girl to start out warm and gradually go cold and lose interest as the man's Delta and Gamma traits leak out, like Republicans' interest in Ted Cruz over the course of the primaries.

The reverse case, or "turnaround", is far less common. This happen when the girl assumes the man is a Delta or Gamma, and he surprises her on the upside. I can imagine this happening most often to Sigmas like VD, but not so much to Alphas or even Betas, who would tend to be much less unassuming.

Ceasar said...

Hmm..I agree with VD on this one but my curiosity would make me respond with a more approach to get her to shit or get off the pot. Response to her, "Oh, your a nooner girl. My place, around 11:45am. BYOA."

Ceasar said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Leo Littlebook in Shenzhen said...

If your jaw is aching from overuse, you're either going down or going down.

Either way, gamma over!

Aeoli Pera said...

...the latter is too indicative of being genetically defective.

According to Hawaiian Libertarian, it's probably immune system damage due to vaccines.

JCclimber said...

Nibbles?

Another thing would be to ruthlessly cut out ALL snarky reading sources. All of them. Purge them and their language from your mind and thought patterns. Don't watch Daily Show type shows, which is pretty much all mainstream TV shows, like Big Bang etc.

Their dialogue is loaded with gamma and gay.

Women don't even know why they are turned off when you speak that way, but they do know that you just dried up their mucosa and killed the tingles.

Verne said...

The man is learning, his mind seems open. The dude is on the road to recovery. Someday he will stop over thinking it all, and realize that it just is. Lots of girls on the girl tree. The stud of the city is turned down most of the time. The average man will be turned down by almost all of them. But the supply is close to endless. Rejection a man's lot in life. The fact that it is hard to come by, that is what makes success so great. That is why it is worth the rejections

Anchorman said...

So, he really was trying to score a married woman? With kids involved in the marriage?

YIH said...

Definitely don't mention the inhaler, not helpful. BTW, the return of Eat, Pray, Skank. Dumped new hubby... For a woman. Dude needs to sue - as well as divorce.

Aeoli Pera said...

Nibbles?

Maybe it's a British thing?

Alexander said...

even if British, that just means it goes from completely gay to very camp.

Anchorman said...

It's meant to convey casualness and not just mentioning booze and nakedness, because just honing in on booze and sex (at 8pm) is too direct, for him.

I dunno. It seems to be there as a quick "out" in case she would call him awful for suggesting just booze and skinny-dipping.

I'm still circling back to his target. Why pick a married woman who has kids?

Look, I could see a giving tingles to a thoroughly unhappy wife who has one foot out the door if there were no kids. When kids are involved, you're a straight up homewrecker and part of the problem in Western society.

Anchorman said...

This doesn't concern whether the husband is doing what's right or not.

This is a guy angling to deliberately cuckold another man.

Why are we entertaining this guy, rather than say, "Go find single women. If you help the destruction of a marriage, you're the problem and you've just wrecked the childhood of those kids."

Isn't that part of why this blog was founded? To save civilization?

Hey, gamma, go find single women. There are plenty.

VFM #7634 said...

@Anchorman

Gammas gravitate toward married women because they're far easier for them to talk to. Unlike "those" women -- i.e., the single, available girls who have their bitch shields on full alert -- these ladies know how to recognize a "real alpha male" and his Specialness and treat him right.

First of all, happily-married women have no bitch shields, since they have a man and have fulfilled their life quest. They're not interested in male attention at all. The Gamma had no chance whatsoever with her, but he interpreted her courtesy toward him as interest, again because Special.

But this also applies to single moms. All women realize on a subconscious level that they become drastically less desirable once they have a kid, so they become much "easier"... and accessible to Gammas. The Gammas that I've observed in my own extended family usually pair up with single (or divorced) moms, and those who do succeed in marrying non-moms always end up divorced.

Anchorman said...

VFM,
Good point(s).

Mansizedtarget.com said...

Nibbles is a gay word. Avoid that shit like the plague. You're auditioning for girlfriend like that. Similarly, and I can't really relate but I've observed it, be decisive. Hemming and hawing about what to order at restaurant, what to drink, "oh I don't know, let me think about that," etc., just makes you look like a pussy. Men are decisive. Get used to making decisions. Oh, you're out of the chicken, I'll have beef then! Just get shit done and don't sweat everything. If that's your tendency, at least be aware of it and minimize it. Preplan if necessary and figure out what to order, to do, etc. Have a short list of options: Let's go to bar; oh, don't like that, then let's go to my place.

Mansizedtarget.com said...

Nibbles is a gay word. Avoid that shit like the plague. You're auditioning for girlfriend like that. Similarly, and I can't really relate but I've observed it, be decisive. Hemming and hawing about what to order at restaurant, what to drink, "oh I don't know, let me think about that," etc., just makes you look like a pussy. Men are decisive. Get used to making decisions. Oh, you're out of the chicken, I'll have beef then! Just get shit done and don't sweat everything. If that's your tendency, at least be aware of it and minimize it. Preplan if necessary and figure out what to order, to do, etc. Have a short list of options: Let's go to bar; oh, don't like that, then let's go to my place.

Forbes said...

>"There are few better displays of high value than the easy, taciturn, and genuinely nonchalant acceptance of rejection by a woman."

Twenty years ago, a woman I was fucking called me up to break it off. No doubt it was a shit test to determine my interest. I replied with, "OK, good luck" and then hung up. She called me right back because she didn't think I understood her message. I replied, "Yup, good luck to you," and hung up. She wanted attention, and reassurance about the relationship, etc., etc. I wasn't interested in becoming her meal ticket. Time better spent elsewhere, for me.

Daniel said...

Hmm..I agree with VD on this one but my curiosity would make me respond with a more approach to get her to shit or get off the pot. Response to her, "Oh, your a nooner girl. My place, around 11:45am. BYOA."

No, Caesar. He was nuked several conversations before this one. Your response would merely come of sounding like it was coming from John Scalzi...to his daughter.

The flicker of delta in this guy is very weak; remember, he's still trying this on a married with kids "9" who completely smoked him out after their first exchange. The fact that he's returning to the death ground of his last defeat "just to be sure" is an awfully bad sign. My only hope is that he's just a younger millenial idiot who has been lobotomized by public schooling, and those "flickers" are actual sparks, not artifacts of the man who might have been, but never was. If he's actually past the age of 27, he's beyond the fork.

Jed Mask said...

"There are few better displays of high value than the easy, taciturn, and genuinely nonchalant acceptance of rejection by a woman. Don't say something cute. Don't try to show her that you aren't disappointed or that you don't care. Don't try to slip in that little verbal stinger. Women can sniff out wounded male pride as well as sharks scent blood in the water. Just say "all right," and leave it at that. And if she tries to get back into the picture when you subsequently cut contact and focus your attention elsewhere, remember that she is doing so on your terms."

^Yep, yep. THIS...

If you are a Christian man not called or looking to marry, women's rejection has no power over you. Amen.

"Remember, the difference between the Alpha and the Omega is that the Alpha only fails two-thirds of the time. This was an excellent learning opportunity for the Gamma, and I expect that if he is ruthlessly honest with himself, and applies the lessons he learned here next time, he'll continue to make positive progress towards Delta."

Yeah, it's good to hear when a young Gamma man is being honest with himself trying to improve himself. Just don't "practice" on married women. It's sinful and not right in the Sight of the Lord. Amen.

~ Bro. Jed

VFM #7634 said...

My only hope is that he's just a younger millenial idiot who has been lobotomized by public schooling, and those "flickers" are actual sparks, not artifacts of the man who might have been, but never was.

I was homeschooled, and I had just as much trouble, it not more, with that sort of thing. Quite simply, unless you are either a Natural or have a father who's above Delta rank and who cares about you, you WILL have to figure these things out without any help from the society at large at all, because the culture at large WILL mislead you.

If anything, male homeschoolers may actually have a harder time with girls than those who went through the public skoolz, because they'll be less socialized. On the upside, I suspect that homeschooler awkwardness will tend to be more Omega than Gamma, and therefore perhaps somewhat easier to overcome due to less Gamma attitude getting in the way. Maybe.

sigsawyer said...

"So...8pm tomorrow. Small cooler of wine/beer, nibbles. Inhaler. Towels. Swimsuits optional. You in?"

What a sperg. He took the advice to use short, laconic sentences and strung about three times too many together. Inhaler? Towels? Really?

Also, it's incongruent when you go from writing novels to trying to get all alpha on her with short replies. It reeks of butthurt.

Harry Cassandra said...

I'm the guy. Not my real name. But I appreciate all these comments. They're really helpful. The saga is still ongoing, going (perhaps) a bit better than anticipated. But I'll let you all know. This is really helpful. Even words like 'nibbles' and what not, that I thought were casually witty - it's good to know that they're sperg. Keep it coming gents. I really appreciate the ongoing commentary.

haus frau said...

"Nibbles"
Cutesy crap and try hard witty snark are both kryptonite. Cutesy is far lessential tolerable between the two. My husband used to baby talk to me when teasing. As in I would be playing with one of the kids or mention something they did and he would go into the baby talk voice "aaaw momma loves the little babies..." and this would just go on. I quietly told him more than once to stop doing that habit but it just didn't seem to register with him that I really meant it. One evening after he indulged in a few drinks he kept doing the baby talk thing and I basically verbally snapped his head off. He was hurt. I felt bad and apologized. It was bad. He really didn't get how white hot pissed that habit made me.......the moral of the long winded anecdote being repeated cutesy shit like using the word "nibbles" for snacks creates such a level of seething irritation that you might as well have sewn up her vagina with a bear trap.

S. Misanthrope said...

"Women don't even know why they are turned off when you speak that way, but they do know that you just dried up their mucosa and killed the tingles." <--so true

Bard said...

Well "Harry" I hope you received the part about not gaming married women. You will never amount to a damn thing if you can't get that part right.

Stephen Ward said...

@Harry

This saga is done. Pick another (available) woman and move on. She's just an acquaintance now.

If the one you've been talking to really is a "9", then you'd be better served by getting to know her husband and mimicking his actions & manner around other women.

for the next time, with someone different, not this
"So...8pm tomorrow. Small cooler of wine/beer, nibbles. Inhaler. Towels. Swimsuits optional. You in?"

but something closer to this
"8 my place. bring the wine."

JCclimber said...

Another tip.
Swimsuits optional. Kill this line. If this were a real prospect, you just killed the interaction by activating her anti-slut defensive grid.

Always tell her that the swimsuit is mandatory, that you have standards. Imply that you'll be judging her on her choice of swimwear. Give her something to obsess over. "do I want to be sexy?" "do I want to be classy but with a hint of slutty?" Which color is better for me. How does my two kids stomach look in this? Do my tits sag? Is he and ass man or a boobs man?

Why oh why did he make me choose a swimsuit and imply that he would be judging me?

If she's into it, she'll ask you your favorite color, what type of swimsuit you like, etc...

Never relinquish the frame, if you answer ANY of those questions directly, you just ceded the frame to her. And keep your answers short.

Avoid obviously witty responses. Have you even seen the stupid lines that men use, successfully, on apps to get phone numbers and hookups on tinder?

Stg58/Animal Mother said...

The word nibbles makes me think of a hamster with a piece of celery. It makes you sound like a giant lisping faggot.

Do you even know who this woman's husband is? Pray she isn't married to Seabass.

Jed Mask said...

lol. Whatza "seabass"?

Cataline Sergius said...

That sounds great but I just realised evenings are not going to work out for me. The best time for me would be during the day so could we do lunch instead? Thursday would be good and I'm happy to go anywhere.

Fortunately, he had the good sense to recognize this as a rejection, and a demotion to the Friend Zone, and declined her suggestion.


This was all so much easier in the days before texting.

You just asked for her phone number and if she said she was really busy right now, could she have your phone number instead?" You knew you were shot the fuck the down.

I actually made that work for me once.

The setting was a military wedding I had been dragooned into serving in as an usher. I am of course sweating to death in my dress blues. In North Carolina. In August. The bride was only three months pregnant with her first kid, which was sweet by the standards to which I had become accustomed.

At the reception I approach one of the bridemaids. Things seem to be going well enough. She laughs at my jokes, stays within two feet of my personal space. She finally gives me an arm pat when laughing at one of my jokes. Buying signals have been given and I ask for her phone number, (which dates me rather badly, I realize).

She stopped smiling considered for a moment, then took a half step back. "I'm really, really busy right now. Maybe you could give me your phone number?"

Well I knew what that meant. Whoops! False positive. Time to punch. "Sure it's 000-0003. I was one of the first in line. Anyway I gotta go hit the bride in the arm and kiss the groom." Turned on my heel, left and didn't look at her again.

Two hours later, just as I'm leaving she catches up to me and gives me her phone number.

And yes I waited five days to call her. She was delighted to hear from me.



Stg58/Animal Mother said...

Jed Mask,

Ever seen Dumb and Dumber? I'm guessing not.

Stg58/Animal Mother said...

Jed Mask,

Ever seen Dumb and Dumber? I'm guessing not.

Kallmunz said...

Actually, the only men who can get away with "nibbles" are the Scots, everyone else should avoid like the plague.

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