Monday, March 14, 2016

Don't offer unsolicited help or too much of it

Gamma-hover: When 4+ woman enters a room and a Gamma suddenly finds a reason to be near her and offer helpful advice on whatever she is doing regardless of her actually needing help.

Delta-advice: When a Delta is asked to help a woman 4+ but goes way overboard trying to do most everything possible for her, defending her actions despite possible bad behavior, and offering way too much information in an effort to be helpful.

Gammas and Deltas are both entirely too helpful to semi-attractive and attractive women. It’s condescending to the women and smacks of desperation (Gamma) or a desire to be seen as a defender of womankind (Delta). If a woman wants your help she’ll ask for it and you aren’t required to help any more than you are required to help a man. If she does ask for help don't make her task yours. If a man walks into the room to perform a task do you leap to your feet in an effort to get close and help? If an extremely unattractive woman walks in are you racing to her side as well to offer assistance?

I have never seen a man offer unsolicited help to a woman be successful in attracting her. I have seen a woman ask a man for help for something and hit it off because he’s already in play; the request is an excuse to talk to him, but the help is secondary and isn't the focus.

14 comments:

Verne said...

The only time I have ever seen helping a woman work as a pick up method. It was me doing it. There was a beautiful girl standing at the bar, she was trying to get the bartenders attention. She wanted to buy a beer and was holding cash up in the air. She was beautiful, but not taller than the men crowding all around her. The bartender couldn't see her. I walked up said "what the hell are you doing?" "Its the grand opening, the beer is free tonight". I reached over the top of everyone and grabbed two beers and handed one to her. I helped her but I embarrassed her first.

That is the story of me, meeting my wife.

Timmy3 said...

That's not always true. Some highly attractive women use their looks to not do their jobs. Women are also lazy. They don't do the reading. They ask dumb questions. Only talk to them if its not the subject at hand. Then its a real flirt.

Cataline Sergius said...

I have never seen a man offer unsolicited help to a woman be successful in attracting her.

I have only seen it tragically work once.

That was part of sad years long campaign by a friend of mine to win the love of his life. Oneitis is bad but its so much worse if you actually get the girl.



Bob could not have been happier. He was in bed with the girl of his dreams.

Raquel used terms of endearment on him like, "punkin" and "sweetie-bug" and other things you'd call a little kid. They moved in and got in engaged. What I could see plain as day and Bob the Friend simply could not, was that she had consciously decided to settle for less. She didn't trust her own judgement on men anymore. So she was just going to make herself settle for steady old Bob the Friend.

They were together for two years. The sex became infrequent and dull pretty quickly. Bob was also totally cool about her seeing men friends casually because he knew that that was why her first big relationship had failed. Yeah, you know where this one is headed.

Anyway out of the blue she whisked Bob the Friend off for a three day weekend in Las Vegas. The price tag was easily in the four figures. Expensive dinners and pricey hotel room all on her her.

Two days after they got back...she dumped him.

Anchorman said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anchorman said...

Clear way to spot this: A woman is driving and wants to be let into traffic.

Delta Man said...

Verne,

You helping her was a chance to talk with her and flirt, not be her waiter in hopes that would impress her. The reason she noticed is that you took initiative.

--

For anyone who is confused if you do offer to help a woman who you are interested in remember that the goal isn’t the help but rather an opportunity to introduce yourself. She won’t go out with you because you fixed her computer, but she might if she likes you overall.

JCclimber said...

I have come to pity the men who salivate and jump quickly to assist women in the workplace. It rarely ends well for the man.

It is hard to inculcate this into my son while simultaneously instilling Christian values to help those in need, but it is not impossible and is a very important life skill.

1337kestrel said...

One reason helping a woman with a task is ineffective at picking her up, is because odds are she doesn't give a shit about the task in the first place. The few women who are task-focused probably don't need your help.

Verne said...

@JCclimber Yes it is hard. But your son needs to know. My son ... well I should have told him more than I did, it might have saved him some pain.

liberranter said...

Sigma-advice: if she obviously needs help desperately, let her struggle for a few minutes, preferably with a bemused smirk/grin on your face. When she finally asks for help (she'll either be embarrassed or annoyed when she does), act shocked and tell her that you're both very surprised and very disappointed that a strong, modern, independent, self-sufficient woman is asking a man for help and that you thought she was much more of a woman than that. At this point she'll probably get angry, but will still want/need help. Offer it to her - on the condition that she admit that her inner StrongEmpoweredWoman[TM] has failed her. At that point she'll either comply or storm off in a rage. Either outcome is fine. Sigma don't give a shit.

Student in Blue said...

@Delta Man
You helping her was a chance to talk with her and flirt, not be her waiter in hopes that would impress her. The reason she noticed is that you took initiative.

There's also something to be said about venues. It's far more likely she'se going to be looking for someone to flirt with her at a bar, than if she's grocery shopping and wants help getting something off the top shelf.

Stg58/Animal Mother said...

Liberranter,

You should start a blog where you dispense daily doses of sigma advice to aspiring and embryonic Sigmas.

liberranter said...

Liberranter,

You should start a blog where you dispense daily doses of sigma advice to aspiring and embryonic Sigmas.


Nah, too much effort involved. :)

Stg58/Animal Mother said...

I understand. Who has the time? Running a stable of HB9's is incredibly time consuming, not to mention the significant financial outlays.

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