Monday, February 15, 2016

Live to avoid "the look"

Mike Cernovich writes one of his most important posts ever. You simply must read it if you want to have a fulfilling and successful life:
I learned how to tell if a man was dead by looking in his eyes. When living in Thailand and Vietnam, you learn how to spot the look.

The look is what an old man gives when a short-haired harpy leads him down the streets of Vietnam. The man glances around to see smiling, feminine women everywhere. He may even see an older man with one of those smiling women.

“What’s taking you so long,” he hears from her shrill voice.

Slowly a realization hits. A man has wasted his life serving an ungrateful nag. He could have had so much more. His soul leaves him.

Men over 40 were lied to. The rest of us have no excuse. Before the Internet, men didn’t know any better. They did what worked for their parents generation – meet a nice girl who will become a great wife and mom, get a job, work hard.

Men borrowed money for college, married well before they hit their prime, went deep into debt to buy a home to please the Mrs., and allowed an entitled woman to dominate his life. If he was lucky, she wouldn’t divorce him and kidnap his children. What he did was never good enough.

Those of you under 30 do not understand what a gift the Internet is.

Before the web young men had no idea what society had planned for them.

Young men had no idea that they’d spend most of the rest of their lives as dead men.
This is the key statement: 90% of men are miserable. 99% of women are miserable.

If you are a man who is part of the 90 percent, work to get yourself in the 10 percent. And then, and only then, should you look to find a woman who is in the one percent.

It's not impossible. There are 35 million women who are not miserable out there. Find one, and don't settle for less.

And if you are one of those 35 million, stop trying to fix the miserable men. Find a man from the 10 percent, and instead of trying to fix him, follow his lead.

27 comments:

Mr.MantraMan said...

Mike for president instead of that gamma pussy Donald Trump that I am comparing him to.

Sensei said...

This is the key statement: 90% of men are miserable. 99% of women are miserable.

If you are a man who is part of the 90 percent, work to get yourself in the 10 percent. And then, and only then, should you look to find a woman who is in the one percent.


This might be the most important singular statement ever made on this blog.

Keyser Soze said...

Fuck the truth hurts! And that's after divorcing after 21years of an unhappy woman.
Mid-50's and looking and finding happiness. Spot on article. Guys, do it now, save what life is left for YOUR happiness.

Sokrates said...

A completely agree: 90% of men are miserable and 99% of women are miserable. What is most astonishing is that the number of women being miserable is even higher than the one of men. But that is only the first impression. If you know the social development of our times you will notice that women in the past were much more fulfilled when they could live according to their nature, instead of being brainwashed and have to live according to someone else’s directives.
It's all in the eyes of people.

From: http://freedompowerandwealth.com

rumpole5 said...

"The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation." Henry David Thoreau

Natalie said...

I believe it - we've gotten so far up the crazy tree that trying to get down seems like the best way to break our collective necks. So we hang on to the skinny branches and fling monkey poo at each other because that's about all their is left :/

By the grace of God I got off the crazy train early (to mix my metaphors), but that was against the advice of my parents/college/culture/etc. My homeschooling, "conservative" parents kicked me out of the house when I prioritized marriage over graduate school. Yeah, read that twice. The pressure to be more than a housewife or whatever is STUPID. Not saying that the women aren't culpable, but they're getting this trumpeted in their ears day and night and sometimes facing ridicule from their family. (Conversely I've seen family members who didn't marry after a suitably short career ridiculed for not being able to get a man - there's a very specific life script that's being sold even to supposedly conservative families and it's brutal :/ )

liberranter said...

My homeschooling, "conservative" parents kicked me out of the house when I prioritized marriage over graduate school. Yeah, read that twice.

Alas, I'm not surprised. Far too many churchian cuckservatives (not to say that this label necessarily applies to your parents) try to walk a tightrope between living the lives of a true Christ-follower, a life which demands sacrifice, self-denial, and renouncing the ways of the world, and living the UMC American dream. Sorry, but you can't have both. It's either or.

The pressure to be more than a housewife or whatever is STUPID. Not saying that the women aren't culpable, but they're getting this trumpeted in their ears day and night and sometimes facing ridicule from their family. (Conversely I've seen family members who didn't marry after a suitably short career ridiculed for not being able to get a man - there's a very specific life script that's being sold even to supposedly conservative families and it's brutal :/ )

The self-delusion, hypocrisy, and cognitive dissonance are just breathtaking. One is tempted to say that whole segments of the "Christian" community have been deeply mesmerized by Satan to not be able to see what is happening and how destructive the status quo is and continues to be. That churches are the source of so much of this toxic nonsense is going to invite an especially ugly judgment upon the day of resurrection.

Congratulations and blessings to you, BTW, for being able rise above this destructive nonsense and doing the right thing, becoming one of the one percent (dear God, I really hope the percentage is higher than that) of non-miserable women. May many more follow your example.

Michael Maier said...

Just standing up to the harpies would make both men and women happier. I have had some vivid moments where a woman expected me to give in to her and I simply didn't. I love those memories.

Just stand up for yourself. One, it's the right thing to do. Two, she'll love you more for having done it.

praetorian said...

Vox, if I may ask, what is your strategy with respect to your sons?

Asking them to wait until 30 to marry and also avoid pre-marital sex and porn seems as inhumane as it is pointless.

Mark Butterworth said...

I had a Japanese friend who once told me, "No one ever satisfied for long." True, that. Humans were created to be miserable in the mass. 90% of men are unhappy and in despair for the simple reason that not very many can be kings of the hill. Everyone else has to settle for insignificance, impotence and its attendant humiliations.

99% of women are unhappy because women are impossible to please. Being smaller and weaker than men, not to mention more emotional and dependent on males of dubious wisdom, ability, and reliability, they are more insecure.

But take heart, dear ones, this is as God intended. All is working out as planned.

Weouro said...

I get a sense that things may be straightening out a little bit in the sense that men are moving away from trying to live according to the old voided contract, which might be the first step to a more livable future. Btu on a societal level I think it's going to get worse before it gets better. And there are also new hazards that will appear. For example feminist women who learn the "right" language or who will stop calling themselves feminists at all to be better able to obscure the reality of what a marriage with them would be until a few years in.

I've gotten a lot more hope lately after seeing from multiple sources of successful men that the best way to live, and it seems so to me too, is to build what Scott Adams calls a "skill stack" where the sum is greater than the parts. This fits with Anti-Fragile as well. And it leads to greater freedom in life, the ability to say what you want and do what you want, even if you don't become wealthy. That's something I've taken for granted because I've escaped the net in a lot of ways, but now I'm seeing friends who have followed a traditional marriage/career track and are now very constrained in their lives. You really don't need wealth or job security in a particular job to have an overall improved life situation, either. And you don't need it for marriage and family either. The ability to say what you want to say, do what you want to do, is a major source of happiness in life, probably just as valuable as wealth in terms of happiness and more valuable than fragile job-security in cultures where you have to relentless self-police your thoughts. Breaking away from that notion of success as a path to happiness and thinking instead about building a skill stack opens up a lot more possibilities.

dc.sunsets said...

All this is is a restatement that few people have any idea how to find and travel the path to Happiness Plateau.

Partnership. Honor. Humor. Patience. Learning to find happiness in what you have, instead of suffering endless grass-is-greener syndrome.

Job One is to discern which members of the opposite sex are WYSIWYG and what you want. If you marry wrong you won't succeed.

But casual sex and/or porn is toxic. For men as well as women.

I've been happily married for a very long time. My sons are highly successful, married, starting families. It saddens me to see the warfare between men and women. All this does is heighten the level men must reach to obtain what used to be normal.

Question: Is Mike C married? IIRC, he's not. Sounds like getting marriage advice from a Catholic Priest.

Weouro said...

"It saddens me to see the warfare between men and women. All this does is heighten the level men must reach to obtain what used to be normal."

What used to be normal doesn't exist anymore. My friends I mentioned are successful, one could be described as "highly successful," married (except for the ones whose wives have already divorced them), and starting families. And they are severely constrained in their lives. The "highly successful" one is having to make tons of ridiculous concessions to his wife to keep his marriage intact for the time being.

Michael Maier said...

Dudes simply need to STOP BEING PUSSIES. Women adore audacity.

Spank their asses at every opportunity. TELL THEM TO S.T.F.U. when they're being stupid. Ravish them hard every chance you get, even if you have to wrestle them to the mattress and kiss them til they're begging for it THEN you fuck them like your life depends on it.

Seriously...WHAT do you have to lose? If you're a damn pussy, she's likely to leave you eventually for a retard pool boy, rape your life and detonate your entire life anyhow.

Michael Maier said...

And I do not mean to mis-represent myself. I am beyond lazy myself. I need to enact this stuff more. I just know every time I acted like the alpha male, the girl and I both loved it and reacted the way I would have wished.

Bending my woman over her couch and having my way with her got me laid like tile.

Being "the nice guy" got me dumped on Valentine's Day. (Mind you, I was the "nicest boyfriend she ever had!")

Which do you want to be? Who does SHE want you to be?

Mark Butterworth said...

People were never intended to be happy in an ordinary, happy-go-lucky, the world is my oyster type of way. As I sometimes say to others, life is disappointing but it's not without its satisfactions (which are nearly all temporary and somewhat ephemeral).

People are only intended to be happy in an extraordinary way, which is oneness with the Godhead and others through apotheosis (in a sense): perfect prayer leading to a Heaven of perfectly like minded people; a world of saints.

This life is a prison with a variety of cells, some more pleasant than others, but the Way is through suffering; not its avoidance. Being able to boss a woman or others around is not much to brag about.

Michael Maier said...

Fine, Butterworth: How do I lead a "Godly" life in this world with my wife, please myself and please her and please God?

Come on! You have the answers, right? Show me the One With The Godhead Path!

Austin Ballast said...

Deal with the trouble you get Butterworth, but don't go looking for it. Learn to be truly content and happy in whatever situation you are in. Leave the false piety at home. Most in the US are not suffering anything significant and those in the Church who claim they are really need to open up their eyes quite a bit. Perhaps read a bit of those suffering for Christ throughout the world a bit would remove the stupid false humility that pervades many.

Feather Blade said...

Here's a quote for the terminally dissatisfied:

"Most people are just about as happy as they make up their minds to be."

dc.sunsets said...

I find it interesting, Vox, that as a married man with kid(s?) you find this post compelling. I don't always notice irony so maybe this entire blog is a vast, subtle form of trolling, but I assume you place Space Bunny somewhere in your constellation of what makes your life worth living. My wife & family surely are that for me.

It is becoming ever clearer that traditional family forms (patriarchy, mostly) were a means to turn otherwise crappy women and sometime, crappy men, into passable spouses and parents. The human species has persisted for a long time despite a rounding error off 100% of that time people were, by modern standards, crappy. Happiness, like romantic love, seems to be an invention of most recent Modernity.

That said, and recognizing that but a tiny few people will actually obtain long-term romantic love and experience long-term happiness, I find it farcical how the new-new advice for men amounts to "bang as many hot, dumb, throwback women as possible while waiting until you're 30+, then find some sweet coed who hasn't laid the entire HS football team and marry her."

Perhaps I've not read enough past posts of Mike Cernovich (or you) but so far it seems that little effort has been spent discussing HOW to discern the needle from the haystack. Also, there seems to be little grasp of the axiom that everything we do in life becomes a part of us. This means that a man who screws his way through his 20's will guarantee that when he "settles down" with a girl, the hottest sexual experiences of his life will NOT BE WITH HIS WIFE. Why? Because bat-shit crazy sluts who get their cues from pornographic videos will set his standard. You can't have your cake and eat it too. If you spend your 20's living like James Bond (a fictional character) and then settle down for Ozzie and Harriet after 30, how happy will you be? I've seen this very embedded grenade blow up at least one marriage.

When people are asking all the wrong questions, the answers simply don't matter.

dc.sunsets said...

"The pressure to be more than a housewife or whatever is STUPID. Not saying that the women aren't culpable, but they're getting this trumpeted in their ears day and night and sometimes facing ridicule from their family."

Welcome to the Remnant. Seriously. Extremely few people attempt to discern for themselves how they should live, and then follow the path set forth. The ability to do this is perhaps the single most important aspect of discerning the needle in the haystack.

I admit I had some advantages. As an adoptee I already was predisposed to break out of the confines of my family prison. I met the right girl when we were very, very young. The troubles we encountered were artifacts of maladaptive programming from biology and culture. Fortunately we were smart enough to overcome them.

As Nock wrote, you won't be famous or successful if your role is to encourage the members of the Remnant. They are too few and too scattered to support a profit-making endeavor. Profit is telling the masses what they want to hear. It's an ugly business if you understand its reality.

praetorian said...

I agree w/ dc.sunsets here: we need to have a discussion about how to handle young men in this environment. Waiting until 30 to marry and either digging out as many sluts as you can or, via what can only be described as a miracle, avoiding sex and porn/batin' both do not seem like ideal or realistic solutions, respectively.

dc.sunsets said...

How do parents better help their sons and daughters become the 1% (I mean the 1-in-100 worth marrying)?

How do parents help their kids (or the proto-adults discover on their own) how to discern who among the opposite sex is among that 1-in-100?

Perhaps even better, how do people better understand the Path to Happiness, its ingredients, etc.? How do people (the 1-in-100 group) grasp the requirements for resisting Pop Culture's propaganda cacophony intended by its misery-immersed architects to induce more misery?

These are the avenues of inquiry that demand attention. This is the subject that should dominate our dialogue.

It's not about telling young people what to do, it's about explaining WHY to do (or not do) it. Casual sex is a predictable precursor to lifetime unhappiness. Loneliness and isolation are fatal to happiness. Discrimination is a key to avoiding wrong people and finding right people. Understanding that making yourself the best possible mate is how you raise your value and allure (especially for girls.)

These are just some random thoughts. I haven't the answers. But until people start asking the right questions, the direction is down.

SirHamster said...

Question: Is Mike C married? IIRC, he's not. Sounds like getting marriage advice from a Catholic Priest.

He has a fiance. Was mentioned in #GG kerfuffle year and a half ago.


It's not about telling young people what to do, it's about explaining WHY to do (or not do) it.

I think showing it by example is even more important than the words. Have your skin in the game, and show not tell them how to play.

Ben Cohen said...

Dc.sunsets, what do you think of Stoicism, as well as Ecclesiastes and Proverbs? If what you say about love and happiness is true what is the correct path?

praetorian said...

These are the avenues of inquiry that demand attention. This is the subject that should dominate our dialogue.

DC, do you agree that it is insane to think that any more than a sliver of high-T men can make it to 30+ without having sex in some form?

I think it is, and, unless fathers of daughters are going to have a change of heart and start telling them to get married at 18 to a 22 year old male, I don't see an easy solution here. (In fairness, I still see this behavior in some distant relatives in the South, but I live on the coast and even the more red-blooded conservative father wants his daughter to get at least a college degree before marriage.)

Tin Man said...

Not going to repeat the comment I made over at Mike's blog ... but will add this: it is all upon my shoulders to be the best man I can be, no one else's. I'm 54, divorced 3 years ago, 3 kids (2 sons, 1 daughter), and I fell right back into the trap after meeting "this great woman" after my divorce - luckily, she decided that her life was "too complicated" and had to get it together - because I was going down that same path again, just with woman #2.

Working on getting to the 10% ... trying to help my sons get there also ... and I keep whispering in my daughter's ear, but believe she is doomed to be in the 99% club.

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