My daughter is a junior high cheerleader and has the hots for a mixed boy on the basketball team. I have a problem with this. My main issue is that she will become a target, a mark so to speak for other black males. They will then think they can press up on this white girl. The Caucasian males will depart from her quickly as she has become a girl who is on the other side.First, it's important to talk to girls about racial issues BEFORE their hormones kick in. Fortunately, the reader's daughter is too young to be permitted to date yet and therefore the reader can use that excuse to buy time.
I'm not hip with it. I'm really unsure how to right what I perceive to be a wrong. I know that you've proven that segregation happens naturally, and I agreed up until now. Any ideas on how to steer my child in the direction I want without losing her?
Second, be direct. The Gamma approach of sniping and taking cheapshots with the idea that this will "make your disapproval known" does not work at all. If you're the father, be the father. Lay down the law. Muslim fathers don't hesitate to tell their daughters who they are, and are not, permitted to date, Indian and Asian fathers are very nearly as strict. Jewish parents, mothers especially, are hardly shy about telling their sons they want them to marry "a nice Jewish girl".
There is no reason a white father should hesitate to tell his daughters what sort of young men are approved and what sort are not, regardless of what his criteria might be. And he should do so without any fear of "losing her", because in the end, a girl is going to either decide to respect her father's wishes or she is going to follow her hormones. It's always her call... but she can't possibly respect her father's wishes if she doesn't even know what they are. If you're not okay with it, then it is your duty as her father to tell her that you're not okay with it, even if her reaction is to denounce you as a racist, sexist, transphobic bigot while filming herself being urinated on by an African rapper with a sub-80 IQ.
If you don't think fathers influence their daughter's decisions, take one look at Bruce Jenner. Think that just MIGHT have a little something to do with the spectacularly bad decision-making of the girls he helped raise?
Third, if you are seriously concerned about the situation, take drastic measures. Put her in private school. Move, if necessary. The historic white flight to the suburbs wasn't all about crime.
However, this is an object lesson in what activities a father permits his daughter to pursue. It's not surprising that she is drawn to the basketball players because she is a basketball cheerleader. As The Book of Basketball informs us, it is a black sport and therefore the alphas in that world are predominantly black. Girls always go for the alphas of their acquaintance; the girls who played tennis all dated tennis players, the skiiers dated skiiers, the swimmers dated swimmers, and the girls who played soccer mostly dated soccer players.
If you don't want your daughter to mudshark, then don't encourage her to get involved in activities and sports that are dominated by black culture, particularly in her sexually formative years. Get her involved in gymnastics or tennis or skiing or swimming.
Regardless, it's better to risk a few tears and tantrums now than have to write her a letter like this father in ten years.