Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Hypergamy monetized

It's interesting to see how the media doesn't like it when women talk openly about hypergamy either:
When I got an academic scholarship to Carnegie Mellon to study computer science, I never thought twice about how education and career would affect my dating life. I worked incredibly hard to graduate early and build my resume, network, and pedigree working in all-male teams at name-brand tech companies. After finishing it all off with an MBA, I started to realize that with every promotion or degree I collected, I embodied more and more the definition of ‘alpha female’. (The fact that women who are able to compete successfully with men in the workplace warrants us a special label is ludicrous to me, but I embraced it because it meant I was succeeding).

After business school, I entered back into the world of singledom after the end of a 5 year relationship. It became clear that I had effectively qualified out a large pool of guys that were simply not interested in dating an alpha female; I was an over-educated, career-obsessed wanna-be tech executive with little interest in playing the 'traditional' doting girlfriend.

And to be fair, I qualified out guys that didn’t share my same drive to achieve, level of intellect, or desire to be in a relationship where our careers and social lives were of equal importance.
That is the crux of the problem. High-flying women want high-flying men. And high-flying men don't want high-flying women.

57 comments:

AmyJ said...

"And to be fair, I qualified out guys that didn’t share my same drive to achieve, level of intellect, or desire to be in a relationship where our careers and social lives were of equal importance."

She just described herself as a Hillary Clinton. Not exactly well known for her allure or warmth. And she wonders why no one is interested.

Jourdan said...

Very well put, that is indeed the crux of the problem.

For women like that, I'm sure this reality of life seems unfair, but really this is no different than the flip side of the millions of pleasantly disposed young men who find that their natural personality is a turn off to women.

Rabbi B said...

High-flying women want high-flying men. And high-flying men don't want high-flying women.

It's HARD being a woman - a *high-flying* one, anyway. Amelia Earhart was one of those high-flyers, iirc. How'd that work out for her?

I want to do it because I want to do it. Women must try to do things as men have tried. When they fail their failure must be but a challenge to others. - Amelia Earhart

Riiiiigggggghhhhhht . . .

ThirdMonkey said...

What a complete waste. A pretty girl like that should spend less time making software and more time making pretty white babies.

Quân Levis said...

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Làm bằng đại học
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Làm bằng đại học tại hà nội
Làm bằng đại học không cần đặt cọc

Nguyên Hoàng said...

Dịch vụ làm bằng đại học uy tín giá rẻ tại tphcm - hà nội

Làm bằng đại học
Làm bằng đại học uy tín
Làm bằng đại học giá rẻ
Làm bằng đại học tại tphcm
Làm bằng đại học tại hà nội
Làm bằng đại học không cần đặt cọc

Bullitt315 said...

She's 200k in debt and she thinks she's a good looking rich girl. You know what rich girls have? Parents who pay for their education.

Polynices said...

The simple fact is, if she succeeds in pairing up lots of high achieving women with high achieving men, large numbers of those women will end up staying home to raise children or at least scaling their careers way back while their kids are small. Their high achieving husbands will make enough money for this to be possible. It does not matter what they say they want before they are married, this is just how it will work out. And this is a very good thing for civilization.

Desiderius said...

"High-flying women want high-flying men."

Better use what nature gave her to lock down a man likely to fly high before he gets there then and help him make it.

Anchorman said...

No doubt, Polynices. It's part of "having it all" mythology.

"I was ultra alpha woman and gave it all up for the children. Bathe in 'have it all' envy."

She laments loss of status and the shallowness of her status as "alpha-female." A SAHM out-pulls her at the church bake sale.

Hammerli280 said...

If nothing else, she needs to learn to BE the doting girlfriend/wife. And take a very close look at just who she's disqualifying. Women have a nasty tendency to obsess over credentials, rather than job performance. Two of the toughest graduate-level schools out there don't issue degrees at all (specifically, the Navy and Air Force Test Pilot Schools).

Retrenched said...

To paraphrase Devlin, successful career girls are not content to marry stay at home dads, or men who make less than them -- they want husbands who make even more money than they do, who are even more successful than they are. So having lots of "high-flying" women in your society doesn't mean that men are more likely to find wives who are less materialistic; it simply means that many of them will have no hope of finding wives at all.

Bluntobj Winz said...

High flying women, by definition, cannot step back down to the level of children, diapers, and staying home to raise them. If an elite man married one of these he's getting daycare, nannies, and a nasty divorce for his children. He'd be better off providing these things himself with a surrogate, and avoiding the pain of the elite woman.

Her attempt here to find idiot men foolish enough to marry or date a high flying woman will end in spectacular tears, and it will be men's fault.

Timmy3 said...

I'm sure she qualified out a lot of guys who can't help her retire her $200,000 debt and give her the lifestyle she desires. If she were a man, a man needs to take the lead. She wants to be a co-leader. That never works.

Dalrock said...

Shades of Sailer's Law of Female Journalism:

I wanted to build a community where smart, outspoken, high-achieving women are celebrated and encouraged to progress in their career full-time. I wanted to never EVER hear a woman be worried that her educational achievements or career ambition would be a turn-off.

Dalrock said...

Also, note that every other paragraph is formatted as a quote in that article. The pretension needle is pegged.

Dystopic said...

Several years ago, I dated this tall chick for awhile. She was six foot, and very attractive. Easily an 8, maybe a 9. I don't know how I managed to snag her even for the short time I did, being a hopeless Gamma in those days.

Anyway, she had a rule common to many women: she would never date any man shorter than her (fortunately, I had her beat by two inches). After she broke up with me, she went back on the dating market, only this time almost constantly wearing six-inch heels. She told me that 6'6" was now her minimum, as the guy should be taller than her even when she wears obnoxious heels.

In a rare moment of red-pill insight, I explained that this might be dumb, because the pool of guys over 6'6" had to be insanely small. But that didn't stop our intrepid tall chick. She's pushing 40 now, and last I heard, she was still single. She'd priced herself right out of the market. Hypergamy's a bitch.

Alexander said...

I like the accidental honesty: If I told the men what our actual intent was, they wouldn't show up.

Hey... isn't that classified as rape nowadays?

ray said...

I took your education, job, civil rights, opportunity for parenthood, and masculinity. Now I'm thirty-two (forty-one etc.) and somebody damn well better marry me, or there will be worse consequences.

Your co-operation is mandatory.

Hey, how come nobody loves me?

praetorian said...

Founder & CEO of "The League": http://www.theleague.com/

Note the casual mention of whoring in Vegas. More and more men are being told, in increasingly brutal terms, that they are undateable, but no one is telling these these women that they are unmarriageable.

YJLAW said...

http://mobile.nytimes.com/2015/10/25/magazine/the-strange-case-of-anna-stubblefield.html?smid=tw-share&referer=https://t.co/zRWUW8WMOk&_r=0 What about when they literally go full retard?

Bike Bubba said...

If you're a LinkedIn member and look at her profile, she's no alpha. She's kept jobs for about a year or less with some significant gaps in employment, only her last job is as a manager at any level, and her article about her company indicates that despite starting her MBA after seven years working, she's $200k in debt. We are not talking about Carly Fiorina here by any means.

Speaking as an engineer who knows a lot of women who have done a lot better in both career and family life, I don't think a technical degree and ambition are the problem. My best guess is that she's got some personal issues that turn off employers and suitors alike.

Tom Roberts said...

Feedback loops are some of the most powerful things in the world…Marc Lewis PhD. The Biology of Desire.

A simple way to understand Feedback is to think about the common thermostat. Dial it in, so the body adjusts to a comfort level. Hemostasis, as survival value, is in intrinsic regulator that takes inputs from the environment to preserve equanimity or balance. Even self-organizing systems such as defense mechanisms, repression to trauma, disintegration instead of integration is in fact goal directed behavior to preserve hemostasis. And there are many examples to use: hurricanes, market distortion and mis-allocation of capital from endless Fed print, ZIRP ect…

So, in thinking about feedback loops and, “hypergamy doesn’t care”…and thinking about a comment on Dalrocks board yesterday:
A substantial element of female unhappiness today derives from their relentless pursuit of hypergamy.
By wanting what is logically impossible, they can never truly be happy. Much like a heroin addict who is
constantly chasing a better “high”. From this, one can conclude that women are “hard-wired” to be
unhappy in a very deep way that men are not.

In one way, the learned ~sphere is rejecting and closing the feedback loop to open hypergamy by telling women “good luck with your 529 bullet proof checklist and finding the suiter who will whisk you off to Paris for the weekend” because it’s not going to be me. Feminine primacy has distorted the SMP; the feedback is evidenced by high rates of relationship failure, divorce, and destruction of the nuclear family to a degree.

How much of this is related to social physics and 30+ years of distortion of the original mission of women’s suffrage? There’s a distortion of psychological visibility here…it’s rubbing us the wrong way and seated in biology.

Tom Roberts said...

@Dystopic.."She'd priced herself right out of the market. Hypergamy's a bitch."

Feedback is providing her true strike price...ain't that a bitch..

ray said...

"How much of this is related to social physics and 30+ years of distortion of the original mission of women’s suffrage? There’s a distortion of psychological visibility here…it’s rubbing us the wrong way and seated in biology."


Distortion of the original mission of suffrage? Psychological wha?

What you are witnessing IS the original mission of suffrage. To take power and wealth away from (most) males and award it to females by force of 'law'. With an 'elected' class of castrati to enable and administer it all.

Doubtless you imagine the Original Mission to be one of liberating the poor oppressed darlings from the 'orrible Patriarchy. Or perhaps the Original Mission was Equality and Egalitarianism, eh? Yep we see what that really meant.

Now the Highest Good in western cultures is What Any Woman Says. Want to torture and murder kids in the womb, then part them out? No problem, it's A Woman's Choice. Likewise, Obie's top advisor (female of course) made it explicit at the beginning of his first enthronement that serving/advantaging females would be what their administration was all about. But eh, I'm sure the Original Mission of suffrage was . . . some wonderful nonsense or other about liberation and fairness.

Malcivus said...

I have noticed that feminists have latched on to the term "alpha", thinking it describes a woman who is personally accomplished in education, career, status, and wealth.
Their problem is that they've got it backwards. The terminology (and the concept) applies in reverse to women. The female equivalent of an "Alpha Male" would be one that all men desire. In other words, young, hot, fertile, feminine, and submissive. And, more often than not, unaccomplished and lesser educated would also be considered desirable among nearly all men. Also, virgins get a near infinite bonus to their desirability score.
A true "Alpha Female" would be a sixteen year old high school virgin with a body that could easily land her on the cover of Sports Illustrated, who was raised in a traditional two parent home and taught by her mother to be as domestically capable as possible. Such a girl is like a supernova, whose blinding light burns the "accomplishments" of the career-driven female into so much black tar. It's the difference between Ultimate Prize and Ultimate Invisibility.

FSK said...

Actually, she isn't an alpha female (according to her definition of alpha). Read your link. She's $200k in debt and the CEO of a doomed startup.

Cail Corishev said...

When they refer to themselves as alphas, they're getting it from a PBS documentary they saw one time about wolves, which explained that the "alpha female" is the bitch of the pack leader (the alpha male), and looks down on all the other females. They didn't watch closely enough to notice how utterly sexist that is; they just thought, "Wow, she gets the biggest stud and all the other bitches have to kiss her ass."

8to12 said...

It took a while to figure out what her app was about, but it seems to be a matchmaking service that matches so called alpha females (educated, successful in business, makes top money) with alpha males (educated, successful in business, makes top money).

I understand why the so called alpha-females would sign up for this, but why the heck would ANY alpha-male sign up? Alpha-males already have women throwing themselves at them. They don't need help finding women. Even if they did, most men (alpha or otherwise) don't want a mirror image of themselves. They want a companion.

The alpha-females don't understand what men want. They have made themselves into what women want and presume men will now want them. They won't.

I predict this will end up like many other matchmaking services, with tons of female members and a handful of males. They will probably end up faking the male profiles (which what other dating services in those situations).

Anonymous said...

I remember a single date with a very attractive childless 39 year old who told me that men were "intimidated by her success". Her job? Some type of very low level manager for some IT company with four direct reports and paying MAYBE six figures. Probably more like $90k.

I mean, by no means a BAD job, in fact pretty good... but INTIMIDATING? Come on, now.

Peter Dane said...

The lack of self-awareness on display is breathtaking.

Why would I possibly want a "partner" who brings the same things as I do to the table? Does she have a penis, too?

Whack with the cluebat, sugar-nipples. If you want a successful man, you're also going to get a busy man. Which means I need my "partner" to take care of the bullshit I have no time for. To manage the household. For some that is cook, clean, and raise the kids; but for more jet-setting people that includes making travel arrangements, insuring household finances are in order as far as bills current, Make sure the vacation house has the maid in before we arrive. Be there and supervise when the contractors are at the house.

You know - they day to day crap I have no time to attend to because I am out supporting us. Be there for that, and be competent at that - you're of no use to me if I have to stop and hold your hand every step of the way.

If I have to hire someone for that, I'm no better off for having you in my life, except now I have the same pussy (If and when it's available) and I can lose half of my ass in a divorce - or more. Lady - as a successful man, I can have my pick of choice pussy when I want it, and if it comes to that renting a whore is cheaper and less risky in the long run.

SQT said...

Whack with the cluebat, sugar-nipples. If you want a successful man, you're also going to get a busy man. Which means I need my "partner" to take care of the bullshit I have no time for. To manage the household. For some that is cook, clean, and raise the kids; but for more jet-setting people that includes making travel arrangements, insuring household finances are in order as far as bills current, Make sure the vacation house has the maid in before we arrive. Be there and supervise when the contractors are at the house.

You know - they day to day crap I have no time to attend to because I am out supporting us. Be there for that, and be competent at that - you're of no use to me if I have to stop and hold your hand every step of the way.


A thousand times this. My husband has always told me that the only way he can be successful at his job is if he doesn't have to worry about the household stuff I take care of. It is, by far, the most effective division of labor I have ever seen. I know so many couples who are juggling two jobs, kids, daycare (or nannies) etc., and it seems like a massive waste of time and money. I get to spend far more time with my kids and I don't have strangers in my home to take care of my kids/cleaning *and* my husband doesn't have to worry about anything other than his job. I can't imagine raising a family any other way.

tonsplace said...

Not only do high flying career girl a want man who has flown higher then her, it has to be the right kind of flying. I doubt a plumber with 25 employees and a parts store making twice her income in an actually useful field would qualify


As we all know when a woman says men are intimidated by her xyz she is really saying I am more bitchy then sexy

Ron said...

I'm sure she is very smart, but she clearly lacks common sense.

Case in point: 200k in debt for business school?

Durandel Almiras said...

Career aside, she's not bad looking. You telling me she can't get a date? Something ain't right, as her looks are good enough to get most men chasing.

Maybe it's the 1000 cock stare. Crazy can't hide forever.

Jack Amok said...

Better use what nature gave her to lock down a man likely to fly high before he gets there then and help him make it.

Too late. She's 31. Guys interested in her are 33+. If they're potential high-flyers, they've already reached an altitude where they have their pick of women several years younger than her, and with much less baggage.

She should start paying serious attention to cat litter reviews. She'll be scooping a lot of it soon. And for the rest of her life.

I understand why the so called alpha-females would sign up for this, but why the heck would ANY alpha-male sign up?

Sex with a single woman in her thirties can be rather... exuberant. Of course marriage isn't on the table, but the women don't know that. Not for a while anyway.

Jack Amok said...

When they refer to themselves as alphas, they're getting it from a PBS documentary they saw one time about wolves, which explained that the "alpha female" is the bitch of the pack leader (the alpha male), and looks down on all the other females. They didn't watch closely enough to notice how utterly sexist that is; they just thought, "Wow, she gets the biggest stud and all the other bitches have to kiss her ass."

Now that you mention it Cail, how is Hillary Clinton's campaign doing these days?

Eric said...

Case in point: 200k in debt for business school?

That struck me too. No wonder she'll only settle for a guy who's really successful. He'll need to be to settle her debts.

Sokrates said...

Men an women don’t come together any more – especially if they are high-flying individuals. But it takes some time until society finds out.

From http://freedompowerandwealth.com

Stg58/Animal Mother said...

I deposited the cruel truth there in the form of a comment. Let's see what happens.

Trust said...

Of course, feminists think male aversion to high flying women is ego and a desire to control. Not true. Men compete constantly in life, and they don't want ti compete with their partner. They want a romantic relationship, not a business one.

liberranter said...

. High-flying women want high-flying men. And high-flying men don't want high-flying women.

Low-flying men don't either, even if she were desperate enough to consider one.

Durandel Almiras said...

Anyone read the comments section of the article? It is filled with gold! Also, many of the commentators seem to have a bit of red pill wisdom going on. If the names/identities are to be believed...and many look like actual LinkedIn accounts, then some of what the manosphere is saying is definitely getting out.

Hammerli280 said...

I've long believed that women, in particular, don't realize that a man can't raise his status by marriage. He can lower his status by marrying a woman with lower-class behavior, but he can't marry up.

For a woman, it's the reverse. She can raise her status by marriage, but never lower it.

Which means that for a woman, it does NOT matter how successful you are in business. Men aren't interested in your career, they get nothing from it. Now, I won't say that a woman should not have a career or an education...but from a romantic perspective, they are merely a way to provide resources to signal that a woman is of sufficiently high status that a man can marry her without losing out. Remember, he's looking for a wife, not a business competitor.

The Reactionary said...

I see a little red pill in the comments there, but mostly puzzlement that the promise of Equality has not materialized; what is wrong with so many men? Plus a massive positive feedback loop for Amanda.

Bike Bubba said...

I read through some of the comments, and about 80% are positive towards her--it is as if nobody really read her profile on LinkedIn and figured out that she might not have stayed at any job for any period of time for a reason. Or perhaps they dared not point that out, which is, I confess, why I didn't comment there. Some hiring manager who doesn't care about her career history when praising her new job would care about my commenting history on LinkedIn.

(am I a wimp? you bet-- a wimp that needs to pay the bills)

My overall take is that the spouses of "career men" and "career women" alike eventually end up singing along with Reba in "Little Rock", whether they actually slip it off or not. It's like many of us want a relationship more than we want bling.

Michael Maier said...

"As we all know when a woman says men are intimidated by her xyz she is really saying I am more bitchy then sexy"

Excellent. I'm stealing that.

Gunnar von Cowtown said...

It's quite telling that she selected only the last half of that infamous Sandberg quote.
"The most important career choice you'll make is who you marry. When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner." - Sheryl Sandberg"

The first half reads thusly, "When looking for a life partner, my advice to women is date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys. But do not marry them. The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands."

In a nutshell, AF/BB.

Any man who wifes up that slag deserves his fate.

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LAZ said...

Go to school for 10 years. Check.
$200K in debt for said schooling. Check.
Starts ANOTHER dating app company straight out of school. Check.
Early 30's and the clock is ticking. Check.

Yeah, even as pretty as she is, I see a lot of cats in her future.

Derrick Bonsell said...

Oh, if only it wasn't LinkedIn. I had a great comment in mind. Alas, twas not to be.

Derrick Bonsell said...

Oh, if only it wasn't LinkedIn. I had a great comment in mind. Alas, twas not to be.

ray said...

Coming up on two decades past sell-by date, and still thinks that her second-rate intellect, artificial empowerment, and group-shaming will get her what she wants (a man). Of course she could get Mr. Thirsty, there's 30 or 40 million of them in the United Sisterhood . . . but she wants a High Flyer.


The worm wants to be a bird! And her nation and her parents and her government, from the top down, assure her she CAN be a bird, she SHOULD be a bird, and that if she doesn't magically transform into a bird, well more perpetra . . . um males will be punished, dispossessed, and demeaned. Until they comply with the new definition of bird.

I just can't understand why there's so much unrest in a nation that is so grounded in truth and reality.

liberranter said...

When I got an academic scholarship to Carnegie Mellon to study computer science ... After finishing it all off with an MBA

****YAAAWWWWWWWNNNNNN****

Graduating with a CS degree by the skin of her ass, and completely clueless technically, she couldn't cut it in the CS/IT field as a technician/programmer/engineer, so she went back to school to get a (worthless) MBA in order to become a "manager" (those who can't do OR lead pretend to "manage"), at which she has also failed.

Far from being "unique" or "special," this broad is following a familiar and well-worn script that is very popular with StrongAndEmpoweredYoungWomynTryingToBeFifthRateMen[TM]. It won't ultimately end well.

Ocean said...

"High-flying women want high-flying men. And high-flying men don't want high-flying women."

I noticed that it is women who won't date men who are less high-flying than they are. I would happily marry a female orthopedic surgeon or some other high earner. Asking women to marry a man with less wealth than her is like asking a guy to marry a fat woman. In other words it's rare.

Mark said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mark said...

Ocean is correct. Most men aren't turned off by high earners. Physical attraction is key for men and the other factors are secondary. As a slim white blonde female of childbearing age, she is definitely physically attractive enough to land a husband. It is only her hypergamy that is limiting her dating options.

To elaborate: if you look through the comments, you will see plenty of whiteknighting from ambitious / successful men (one man even asked her to come visit him). Those men would be delighted if she followed up with them. But we know that she won't. She doesn't want a whiteknight from linkedin, she wants to meet a rich alpha at a cocktail party and to be swooped off her feet like a fairytale. It's wishful thinking to believe that any woman in western society is struggling to find a partner and that men are so rich with options that they can turn down someone like her.

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