When I got an academic scholarship to Carnegie Mellon to study computer science, I never thought twice about how education and career would affect my dating life. I worked incredibly hard to graduate early and build my resume, network, and pedigree working in all-male teams at name-brand tech companies. After finishing it all off with an MBA, I started to realize that with every promotion or degree I collected, I embodied more and more the definition of ‘alpha female’. (The fact that women who are able to compete successfully with men in the workplace warrants us a special label is ludicrous to me, but I embraced it because it meant I was succeeding).That is the crux of the problem. High-flying women want high-flying men. And high-flying men don't want high-flying women.
After business school, I entered back into the world of singledom after the end of a 5 year relationship. It became clear that I had effectively qualified out a large pool of guys that were simply not interested in dating an alpha female; I was an over-educated, career-obsessed wanna-be tech executive with little interest in playing the 'traditional' doting girlfriend.
And to be fair, I qualified out guys that didn’t share my same drive to achieve, level of intellect, or desire to be in a relationship where our careers and social lives were of equal importance.
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
It's interesting to see how the media doesn't like it when women talk openly about hypergamy either: