Saturday, October 24, 2015

Alpha Mail: Alphas and N

TC rethinks his indifference to a woman's sexual history:
In the past I have never particularly cared about a woman’s N within a certain range of normal.  I Still don’t.  I don’t screw pornstars, but I also don’t meet any.  But within that context I simply don’t find a woman’s N count particularly bothersome at all, never have.  In spite of my 15 year marriage I still have a fairly high N count from before it and since, though keeping it up to date hasn’t been an issue for me since I was a kid.  And the way I think I might be an outlier in this area is that to my recollection, I can recall only 1 woman who didn’t say that sex with me was the very best she’s ever had. 

Now I know (have always known) you can’t believe what women say, particularly in that area.  And I typically don’t.  So although of course I take you at your word when you say that many men care deeply about a woman’s N count, even though I can’t really identify with it, I have to wonder if that concern isn’t some form of ego defense.   If you think that’s the case or not, that’s fine.  But in trying to reshape my view of the world to be more disciplined about game, I wonder if it is something I should be more concerned about now than I was in the past. 

I still entertain the idea of more children, and that will require commitment.  But I feel no moralists desire for a woman of past purity, and I’d make the call on a woman’s commitment worthiness on aspects other than N count.
I know enough about TC to know that he's not a Secret King. He's an Alpha with the conventional Alpha indifference to female promiscuity. I am similarly indifferent; whether a woman has 5 or 15 previous partners, that's just a rounding error from my perspective.

HOWEVER... what both Alphas and Sigmas tend to miss in their blithe sexual self-confidence is that what works when a man is single is not going to work so well in a marital relationship. The problem is that their single most reliable tool - NEXT - has been voluntarily removed from the toolbox. So, TC is wrong, both logically and empirically, to believe that a woman's N count is not the best proxy for her commitment-worthiness.

18 comments:

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

Yeah, I agree with this. it's not that big of a deal. In fact women with higher N count are usually better in bed. Keep intact the NEXT option by avoiding the marital trap.

Trust said...

" I can recall only 1 woman who didn’t say that sex with me was the very best she’s ever had"

Probably his wife. It's amazing how much higher a woman will rate the sex when she feels she has won a competition with other women, than she rates it when she thinks she's his only option.

Trust said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Trust said...

NEXT is synonymous with "competition anxiety," which fuels female desire.

Marriage removes competitive efforts to obtain/retain a man and replaces it with state backed guarantees to his resources. Which is a huge component in women seeming like a different person after the wedding. Like a tenured professor or union employee, effort has been disconnected from outcome. @

Cail Corishev said...

When guys say they don't care about a woman's N, in the context of considering marriage, I like to ask: Okay, let's say you meet a woman and you just click with her, everything's coming up roses, and you're certain you want to spend the rest of your life with her. One day she asks about your sexual history and tells you hers. What do you hope she says? What's the ideal number of cocks for your ideal woman to have already sampled, to make her the best possible wife for you?

An honest man is going to say zero, unless he has some sort of fetish. Even if he's okay with 1+, he'd prefer to have his wife completely unspoiled. So he does think zero is superior, but he doesn't expect to get zero, so he tries to convince himself the number doesn't matter at all. In doing so, he blinds himself to one of the biggest red flags of all. Any N>0 has the potential for being a total Alpha Widow and/or unable to bond with a new man.

Jim Bro said...

Lol. This TC guy takes humble brag to a whole new level.

eidolon1109 said...

An N of 0 in this day and age is a strong indicator of likely fidelity. In the past a woman might not have any serious opportunities and be married young. Nowadays it takes either problems so obvious you couldn't miss them, or a real commitment to purity to stay a virgin much past puberty.

A woman who has made that commitment and carried it out is clearly superior from a risk perspective. The women around her wouldn't have criticized her for sleeping around a little -- in fact she's more likely to take flak for not having done so, as it induces shame in other women to know that she was more virtuous than them. If she resisted temptation when it would have been easy and would have had no obvious consequences, she is far more likely to do so later when straying would be more difficult logistically and more troublesome in its possible fallout.

Women's words are cheap and their vows are often weak; they don't have a sense of personal honor in the same way that men do. The only way to know what a woman will do is to look at what she has done. With the risks involved, I would strongly advise my son to only choose a virgin.

Cail Corishev said...

Lol. This TC guy takes humble brag to a whole new level.

That too. Every woman I've been with said I was her best too. What a coincidence!

Jack Amok said...

NEXT hasn't been entirely removed by marriage, but it does take a stone cold Alpha (or Sigma) to credibly wield the threat of NEXT over his wife. A big part of the Alpha mindset is "I can lose today and still win tomorrow."

But, that mindset is hard to keep as you get older and acquire more wealth, power and relationships. "Losing today" becomes more costly. Winning tomorrow becomes harder when you don't have the energy you had at 25. Plus, living together with a woman strips away the sense of mystery about you, and inevitably exposes whatever weaknesses you have. Going into the marriage with every advantage you can muster is a good idea.

Michael Maier said...

"Every woman I've been with said I was her best too. "

They're not lying.

You're the best that she could possibly get at that moment in time. Obviously so, because you are WITH her. And she improves like fine wine and so any man that is worthy of such a rare prize simply MUST be the best she's ever had because the others fell by the wayside and they are lesser men and 3/5 of them do not count towards her count anyway.

In other words: Solipsism.

Michael Maier said...

Besides, the older I get the more I'm convinced being "good" in her head has very little to do with your actual tactile sexual performance (words selected VERY specifically there, think before you reply).

Cataline Sergius said...

I will grant that there was a time in my life where I held TC's attitudes.

Although at that time in my life my mighty battle cry of "Forty and Single!" Thundered across the mountains.

No, I wasn't yet forty when I got married and yes, she was a virgin.

What? You've never seen a hypocrite before?

Oliver Märk said...

It’s true women with high N are better in bed than the others. I can testify that – in every single case (in my experience) that has been true.

From http://freedompowerandwealth.com

SirThermite (VFM #0025) said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
SirThermite (VFM #0025) said...

Most men can repress during casual sex the thought of how many other men a woman has gotten down and dirty with, but surely some groom has placed the ring on his new wife's finger, heard the preacher says "You may now kiss the bride"...and suddenly flinched at the thought of how many cocks her lips have previously encircled. Pucker up...

Women love serial monogamy, which is just polyandry on an installment plan.

daleaf47 said...

Actually, the Alpha Game numbers don't show a big difference between 5 and 15; the big difference is between 1 and 2, with most of the rest occuring by 5; so unless going for very low count women (and watch out for those who are alpha widows to a guy who wouldn't do them [because he was clueless]).
Also, in my experience, women tell you how great you are to build your confidence; when you are the greatest they neg you.

JP said...

Every guy a woman sleeps with will be better than you at, say, one thing. If she'd banged 20 guys before you, there will be 20 things you can't do as good as her previous lovers. Not a recipe for a fulfilling love life if you ask me.

Bill Henry said...

I am a Sigma male. My N count was high before I decided to settle down when I turned 31. There was no way my wife was even going to have a N count. I married a virgin 11 years my junior. She is strong willed, which I like, but is absolutely devoted. I told her before and several times in the first year of marriage, that I was looking for a wife when I found her, she was to never take it for granted that I wouldnt exercise the next option if needed. This was 20 years ago. Ive never regretted my stance regarding the next option and my decision to make sure N was zero.

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