Monday, September 28, 2015

How one woman killed James Bond

Why the new James Bond is not James Bond:
New James Bond author Anthony Horowitz admitted his wife was behind the editing out of sexism in the latest novel Trigger Mortis. The writer said that remaining attractive to a modern audience, given the main character's attitude to women, was one of the hardest things to do. Horowitz said his wife went over the first draft and was 'angry' about some of the things he written.

He told the Radio Times: 'My wife Jill Green, who is the producer of Foyle's War, read the first draft and was quite angry about some of the language and some of the words I used and the descriptions.

'And she was right as she always is and I had to cut back and cut back. I had to really bring it back over the line again. Bond's whole attitude to women, although it's part of his character it doesn't really play very well these days.'
Pathetic. And the punch line is the wife. Look at that heinous half-orc. No wonder she hated the portrayal of a handsome man failing to kowtow to beautiful women, unlike her Gamma husband dutifully obeying her.

41 comments:

The Original Hermit said...

Based on the photo, I'm not completely convinced Jill isn't a dude.

craig said...

Had doubts about Horowitz for a while. His comments about Bond are of a piece with his discussion of what he has tried to do with Foyle's War. His work on the latter can be seen as an attempt to diminish the achievement of the British in "their finest hour."

He's exactly the kind of guy who would have gone along with Philby, Blunt, and the other Cambridge traitors.

weambulance said...

Man, what a pussy.

I've been clashing pretty hard with the feminist writing crowd and it just makes me want to troll the fuck out of them with my characters. Nothing gets a feminist's back up more than a young, hot, feminine girl who is submissive and gets off on doing nice things for her man, in and out of the bedroom. Especially if she was raised by a single feminist mother and had to overcome her programming.

Why would I kowtow to these harpies? They were never going to like me anyway, even if I pandered to them. Fuck em.

Hammerli280 said...

Bond without Alpha isn't Bond. It's part of the character's conceptual DNA.

weambulance said...

In the article the guy say you have to get three things right, the title, the girl, and the villain. Now I'm just spitballing here, but it seems like if you're writing a Bond story, the most important thing is to get Bond right.

He also says he struggled with having Bond smoke, and that he never had smoking characters because it makes him uncomfortable or something. Again, what a fucking pussy. How are you supposed to write good fiction if you can't separate your own hangups from what your characters do?

How do you write a good villain if you can't even write about someone smoking? What does the villain do, tickle people without their consent? Oh wait, that can't be it, because I'm sure that's personal space violation rape according to the missus.

D. Lane (#0067) said...

He doesn't understand the product (Bond).

I'll cut the guy some slack for not wanting to take heat from his wife. Some people just don't have a backbone. But allowing her feels to dictate the quality and direction of your work? That's contemptible.

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

What a wimp. But is anyone surprised? I recently read the Bond novel 'Solo' by William Boyd. I generally like Boyd's work, but this was surprisingly dull and unimaginative. It was clear that Boyd excised Bond's racism and sexism, to the point where he makes Bond's love interest a strong, independent African chick (a mulatto, if I remember correctly). It was a dreary read. In a politically correct world, you can't have interesting things.

Elocutioner #0226 said...

How the hell did a gamma bitch like this get the privilege of writing on of the best known alpha male movie characters ever with over 20 films in the franchise? And it's telling that his wife didn't take his name, not even hyphenated. What next, Q ends up giving him a sonic screwdriver?

Cail Corishev said...

No, in the next volume Bond gives Q the sonic screwdriver, if you know what I mean and I think you do.

Aurini said...

That 'man' is the walking, breathing stereotype of the faggy Hollywood writer.

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

"How the hell did a gamma bitch like this get the privilege of writing on of the best known alpha male movie characters ever with over 20 films in the franchise?"

It's not what you know, it's who you know.

Corvinus said...

It's not what you know, it's who you know.

@LBF
Fleming's estate would have to be complete morons to commission a second novel from him. Sack him and find someone else, preferably an author who is Alpha or Sigma in real life.

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

Corv ~ I totally agree. I've been wondering a lot recently whether a market exists for a real un-PC blood-n-guts version of Bond, something more faithful to the original. Literature nowadays is so sterile, so scrubbed. Houellebecq would be an exception--and he was a tremendous influence on my thinking in the early days--but a lot of his writing is so nihilistic.

hamburger said...

How the hell did a gamma bitch like this get the privilege of writing on of the best known alpha male movie characters ever

Anthony {{{Horowitz}}}

Sokrates said...

Using the label "James Bond" for the new Bond is a fraud. The real connaisseurs of Bond already know when someone is swindling and draw their consequences.

from http://freedompowerandwealth.com

Elocutioner #0226 said...

Of course Cail and hamburger are right. It's just exasperating to see something you like get destroyed for no reason other than the Narrative.

And his background on his Wikipedia page is rather unsurprising given the current context.

Jack Amok said...

Again we see entryism. These sad sacks can't create their own iconic character, so they have to hijack someone else's. Which raises the question - why the fuck do we need another Bond novel, and why would a Bond fan bother to read it? I'm certainly not going to run out to buy a "new" Poirot, Jeeves and Wooster, or Lew Archer novel. I'm almost certain to be disappointed.

Create something new people. Even if it's derivative, at least change the damn names so you can pretend to have an original thought in your head.

liberranter said...

I think it's safe to say that there will be something close to ZE-RO copies sold of Whore-owitz's hackwork, and any movie made from it will constitute the first Bond movie ever to bomb at the box office.

Still, given the age we live in, it would not surprise me at all to hear that Whore-owitz has been offered a contract extension to write more of this garbage and further destroy the Bond legacy (which might be the intent anyway).

The next installment: Woodfinger, which features a scene in which Bond gets "pegged" by a female villain bearing a strong resemblance to Whore-owitz's "wife."

Retrenched said...

A James Bond who is a beta pussy around women isn't James Bond. Period.

It would be like Nintendo making a game in which Mario negotiates with the Koopas instead of stomping on them - the character wouldn't be Mario in any meaningful sense.

But this is just one of many in a long series of remakes of old action movies and books in which a heterosexual white alpha male is replaced by a woman (Ghostbusters, Road House), a minority (The Equalizer), a homosexual (Hart to Hart) or a beta wimp (Bond).

Cataline Sergius said...

'And she was right as she always is

Saw his picture and dear, oh dear, 'the please don't' hurt me', body language.

Not that the bond films have doing all that well lately either. From my thumbnail review of Kingsmen

In Skyfall, the villain, Silva after having captured James Bond with a minimum of effort and having tied him to a chair, of course. Menaces Bond by delicately stroking Bond’s inner thighs while purring homosexual innuendo to him.


To which Bond replies, “What makes you think it’s my first time?”


*grooooooooaaannnnn*


Like I needed even more cliches from a James Bond movie. And yes the unexpectedly bisexual Bond is quite definitely cliche at this point.


I will grant that Skyfall was in fact a good movie. Certainly better than Bond’s last outing.


But was it a good James Bond movie? In a lot ways Skyfall demonstrated that James Bond films are now their own tribute band.


Cataline Sergius said...

No reason to think the books should do any better than the movies. Quite a lot of reason to think they would do worse when you think about it.

Nicholas Lewis said...

This is of a piece with Daniel Craig's behavior, so any chances of the money people behind this not supporting a kinder, gentler "bond" is pretty slim. As for the wife, at least in the picture with the article, its not so much that she is ugly, its just that she is well past the wall. Being a bitter harpy doesn't help.

AmyJ said...

So it's basically a romance novel. Great job, Horowitz. You are the male equivalent of Stephanie Meyers.

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

lol @ "Woodfinger"

Retrenched said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jeremy VanGelder said...

"Trigger Mortis". Horowitz's wife was triggered, therefore the Bond franchise died.

Daniel said...

You would have thought that Kevin Nealon and Paul Stanley would have come up with a flashier, funnier Bond than that.

Daniel said...

Eesh. Conan the Boytroyer.

MycroftJones said...

Holy cow. That is the strongest "gay face" I've ever seen on a female. (photo of Jill Green)

liberranter said...

Holy cow. That is the strongest "gay face" I've ever seen on a female. (photo of Jill Green)

They both look like they're sexually interchangeable.

xxxx said...

Well, according to her Twitter pic, she is rather hideous.

https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1696832576/Screen_shot_2011-12-16_at_18.01.36_400x400.png

Bob said...

They keep trying over and over again to push for a black actor for Bond as well.

Fucking sickening, we're not allowed to keep anything anymore

Kryten 2X4B 523P said...

So his whole excuse can be summed up as "Dont blame me, blame the wife - she made me change it!
I'll admit, I haven't really bothered with the Daniel Craig Bond films after I fell asleep during the first one. They've lost that masculine charm that appealed to both men and women.

Cataline Sergius said...

Is Felix still working for CIA?

Honestly if he was any kind of a decent field officer, he'd be in somebody's "security company." There isn't a single one of the those guys who is any damn good at all that is still drawing direct deposit. There is a reason no one lost their job after 9-11

I don't know about MI-6 but I wouldn't be surprised if that wasn't the case there too.

Not that Bond has ever really been about reality. He was always about masculine fantasy. Unstoppable by any man and desired by all women. Naturally that had to be subverted. Effeminize Bond and you effeminize the fantasy, I suppose the thinking (or rather feeling) goes.

Before long I expect Bond to be tap dancing in front of Human Resources because Money Penny filed a report.

"She said, you keep hanging around her desk and making her feels feel uncomfortable with inappropriate comments. You're going to have to take sensitivity training Mister Bond. And this IS going in your record."

"But...but she accepted my phone number. You see when I asked for hers. she told me she is really busy right now with work and everything, so it's better if she calls or maybe texts me when she's got time available."

(*sigh*) "This isn't really my business but James, I guarantee you that she is never going to call."
.

Hammerli280 said...

A flash of good news...the Matt Helm books are out in Kindle format. THERE'S an unrepentant character.

He's also far more interesting than Bond, in my view.

Vincent Castrillo said...

Foyle's War is neutered too. Daniel Craig just goes with this mess anyway. Imagine Sean Connery being told to play nice. A quick slap and a happily disciplined woman would run to get him a drink.

For goodness sake already, just let the next Bond be a black man, the next Doctor Who be a woman, and Hillary be president. Let them all fail into irrelevance for all to see. I don't see how PC, SWPL, LGQBT whatever isms of today go away until women stop being allowed to vote. Maybe their faces have to be dragged through the mud before they wilfully go along with this. And the only way this happens is utter failure category 5. Everything must reek so bad, fail so utterly,while under complete SJW control that the most gay hippie is begging for a fascist takeover. Then --victory.

Vincent Castrillo said...

Anyone else not also see the irony in a female producer presiding over numerous murders, covert survellience and assassinations, rogue states, terrorism, torture, etc. but heaven forbid a secret agent, under extreme pressure, who in his own rulebook says he has to "coerce the enemy even at the cost of his body" play too coy or manly with buxom women sent to spy on him, kill him, or wreck his country. For shame Mr. Bond.

It would be fodder for mental homes if this weren't so prevelant now. Perhaps this "producer" of one of the richest and longest running series would actually know her own product. Is it not graspable to her that BOnd's waywith women attract them to his side as a way of protecting his nation? That outside of the film itself, this is a fun draw for its mostly male audience? The saddest thing is that these clowns actually think their mommyisms are somehow making the world better. But of course, the women would never, ever, ever ever say something untowards to goat bangers who shrink wrap their women and don't even let them drive. lol Chains are coming.

wxyzxdll said...

When Connery was bond 40 years ago, he would backhand his hos with a well defined pimp hand. Now women dont get to learn those lessons anymore when they step out fo line. No wonder society is out of whack.

News Boy 411 said...

Apart from that, there are also 15 other terrible mistakes that almost ruined the James Bond. News Boy 411

Matamoros said...

Well, I definitely won't be going to the theater to see this perversion. Time for everyone to get the word out, as per Mad Max, to drive the box office down. As long as people finance them the SJWs will keep making crappy movies to push their social agendas.

bw said...

"Horowitz admitted his wife was behind the editing out of sexism in the latest novel Trigger Mortis"

Horrowitz?? Hhmmm. There seems to be a pattern here...

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