Being on the subways and streets of New York while female used to mean walking through a veritable gauntlet of harassment and catcalls. But lately, a curious thing has happened – my world is a much quieter place. The comments and lascivious stares from men have faded away the older I’ve gotten, leaving an understandable sense of relief. But alongside that is a slightly embarrassing feeling of insecurity that, with every year that goes by, I become more and more invisible to men.Congratulations, Jessica. No man wants you anymore. Welcome to the rest of your life.
From the time I was 11 or 12 years old – when I began taking the train to school – I’ve been on the receiving end of some of the worst things men say to girls and young women. There was the man in a business suit who told me to “take care of those titties for me”; the man who – when I was in seventh grade – masturbated in front of me on the subway platform near my home; the man who walked by me in the street, leaned in close, and whispered “I want to lick you” so close to my ear that I could feel his hot breath.
It was miserable. But still, as much as I wish it didn’t, the thought of not being worth men’s notice bothers me. To my great shame, I assume I must look particularly good on the rarer days that I do get catcalled.
I remember the wry look on my mother's face when a girl in her twenties with a very hot body was complaining about how she couldn't go anywhere without attracting attention. "Just enjoy it while it lasts, honey," she said. "It will stop soon enough."
42 comments:
My favorite part of the hate phase is the wall stories. It's a fun phase to reminisce with sometimes. A close second is the stories of females that discover that they are "hanging with the wrong crowd" the hard way. I suppose it would be shade for the soul.
I don't actually beleive those things happened to her in the first place.
She probably only has a few cases of this "systematic harassment". On public transportation in a large city princess will come in close contact with a lot of low-class people, which includes a sizable representation of the severely mentally ill
Those are her fsntasies.
The modern, screwed-up, female mind believes (1) I should be able to wear whatever I want when I go out in public, (2) it's ridiculous to think that I need an escort, or should limit where and when I go places, and (3) men should be required to act the way I want them to act.
#3 means -- as in your example -- that only guys I find attractive should be able to say creepy things to me, and men should find me attractive whether I actually am or not.
I would have figured that she was too busy bathing in male tears to notice.
Being on the subways and streets of New York while female used to mean walking through a veritable gauntlet of harassment and catcalls.
Only New York men would whistle and catcall New York women, whose attitudes and personalities make a vomit and prussic acid cocktail seem appetizing by comparison. I'd pursue a subway rat first.
Doesn't the kind of attention that our dear deprived princess is whining about get a man arrested and jailed in the People's Socialist Democratic Republic of New York? Having spent a couple of months working there a couple of years back --and having spent a lot of time walking its streets-- I never once saw any woman "greeted" in the manner our delusional princess describes (maybe she fell into a time wharp that took her back to 1955).
Methinks somebody is full of shit...
I looked her up. She was attractive in her youth, a solid 7, if she were to have ever smiled back then. A woman needs to mess it up bad to start well and to have lost it all by 36. Especially a slender girl like she was. Funny she looks like she is now spending time and money on her hair and makeup, trying to get some of her youth back. Now she smiles, but It's not working.
It is enjoyable to see that happen to a man hating feminist. In her youth she said she hated the attention of men. But now she cries over no longer being able to get it. With years comes wisdom. But being pretty is a feature of youth.
Wow, there are some rude people living in New York. Don't read anything more into that than what I said.
"take care of those titties" = worst things men say to girls or women.
Seriously?
New Yorkers = Rude fucking assholes.
Shocking?
Feminist = Clueless, helpless human being
Yup.
you missed the best part of the whole thing, the second half of her title to the article:
"I hate that our culture makes me miss it
Jessica Valenti"
yes, Jessica. we all-powerful men MAKE you 'miss' our perverse and lascivious attention.
Thank you Jessica for confirming that what many in the manosphere already knew: that women don't give out good advice when it comes to attracting them.
Two old ladies are in a restaurant. One complains, "You know, the food here is just terrible." The other shakes her head and adds, "And such small portions."
Don't worry, she hasn't reached her "last fuckable day." I'm sure there will be plenty of studs left to pick her up in a tacky wine bar for a ONS. As she ages, there will sill be the betas and gammas.
I'm sure her husband and children give her great comfort.
An unleashed feminist imperative literally wants to square the circle.
I guess it is harder to elicit male tears to bathe in this way.....
Why would anyone continue living in NYC? Pigs in filth.
Having spent a couple of months working there a couple of years back --and having spent a lot of time walking its streets-- I never once saw any woman "greeted" in the manner our delusional princess describes (maybe she fell into a time wharp that took her back to 1955).
@liberranter
Or maybe she was venturing into the vibrant neighborhoods. AFAIK, jacking off in front of a woman is almost exclusively a black thang.
@Corvinus
You can replace "in front of a woman" with "in front of a person". An associate of mine had a jobsite in a lower-income neighbourhood where he had to refuse to finish the job early after one of the neighbours consistently would watch him work, on his front lawn, and then eventually remove his clothing and masturbate. (I would refuse to work under such conditions as well.)
Women complain about everything.
In the words od tumblr: out of all the things that never happened, this never happened the most.
So, she's complaining about being more equal. There's just no pleasing some people.
Back when I was in university, I was considering joining the Communist Party. CPUSA. I remember distinctly a very energetic CPUSA recruiter, named Valenti. Anyone know if that is Miss Valenti's father?
The twitter comments are gold:
https://twitter.com/Nero/status/623153411047956480/photo/1
I had to check the date on the article because I'm pretty sure this same dumb bint wrote the same story last year too, though perhaps I'm confusing her with one of the many other dumb bint proto-cat ladies out there.
"...a girl in her twenties with a very hot body was complaining about how she couldn't go anywhere without attracting attention..."
Humble bragging. Women know it's not hard to be invisible if that's what they really want.
"Take care of those titties for me" sounds like something a man of color would say. Most aggressive flirting is done by men of color.
Ideological constraints prevent feminists from pointing this out.
Could the left's hatred of white males simply be out-group hostility redirected towards the in-group?
Good catch, bob k. mando. She got it completely backward: it isn't culture that makes her miss the male gaze. That's feminist lie #1, that women have to be conditioned into heterosexuality. No, it's biology.
On reflection, feminist lie #1 is that men and women are the same. But that women have to be conditioned into heterosexuality is near the top, since that's the basis for asserting that male sexuality oppresses women.
Usually when a woman complains about catcalling, harassment, or being sexually objectified, it's her way of advertising to the world as loudly as possible that some man, somewhere, thought she was pretty enough to hit on. This is why unattractive women complain about those things more often than attractive women do. Good looking women don't have to a make a big deal out of getting hit on, since people can tell by looking at them that men would obviously find them desirable.
@Jack Amok
She wrote a story last year about how catcalling is sexual harassment and needs to stop
This current article is comedy gold
On reflection, feminist lie #1 is that men and women are the same.
Nope. Feminist Lie #1 is that men and women are the same in all areas where men have a biological advantage, but men and women are different in those areas where women have an advantage. Lie #2 is many of the supposed female advantages, which in reality aren't. For example, women really aren't better at navigating social hierarchies.
She wrote a story last year about how catcalling is sexual harassment and needs to stop
I must have her confused with last year's newly-minted cat lady then. I will try to keep them straight when next year's inductee inevitably writes her story.
I assume that in Valenti's story last year, there were a few comments to the effect "you'll miss it when it's gone."
She wrote a story last year about how catcalling is sexual harassment and needs to stop
In light of this new piece, I'm surprised that she didn't bribe/cajol/shame/threaten her editors into flushing last year's piece down the memory hole.
Seriously, comedy gold
Jessica 2014: Getting catcalled = men's fault, because patriarchy.
Jessica 2015: NOT getting catcalled = men's fault, because patriarchy.
The hamster is strong in this one.
She hit the wall well before she got married. The best she could marry at age 29 was Andrew Golis, a gormless gamma loser, a drudge for PBS, Talking Points Memo, and then 'Entrepreneur in Residence' at Atlantic. But by 29 her eggs were stale and all they could have was one kid with birth defects. Valenti is now stuck in New Jersey living with the bridge-and-tunnel crowd, going on a few rare speaking gigs, and increasingly out of touch with the sexy, young riot gurrls she used to lead. And now she blames society/men for not checking out her wrinkles, and her middle-aged purge. And, saddest of all, she is realizing she lives for male attention, hates herself for that realization, and cannot find satisfaction from her 'feminist' husband.
Valenti should do what the previous generation's hot young feminist (Germaine Greer) did when she hit menopause and bemoaned the fact that she was invisible to men: Valenti should 'embrace her inner crone'.
In less than five years, young, horny, hot feminists will be saying, 'Jessica who?'
Make that 'middle-aged pudge'
Remember last year's video of a hot babe walking through Manhattan and guys calling out to her?
Why don't they do a follow-up comparison video of Jessica, showing how men do not even see her walking down the street?
It would prove just how much New York men respect feminists and 'avert the male gaze'.
Like Kim Kardashian .....
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