Jiang and Pell saw event-related potentials – positive peaks in brain activity – in all the volunteers' EEGs around 200 milliseconds after the start of a clip, no matter its confidence level. However, more confident speech had higher peaks than unconfident speech. A higher peak within such event-related potentials has previously been associated with increased processing of information. Nearly-confident voices seem to be given additional consideration with an extra pattern of brain activity occurring at about 330 milliseconds....This suggests that an important element of Game is likely to be voice-coaching. It ties in very closely with the known speed with which women decide if men are filed into the Yes, No, and Maybe categories.
When subsequently asked to score the recordings for confidence, female participants gave more extreme scores for confident and unconfident voices than did their male counterparts. This may mean females have a stronger ability to judge vocal confidence, suggests Jiang.
The EEG readings supported this theory. When played neutral-sounding statements, females showed additional sustained increases in brain activity around 1000 milliseconds after the start of the speech – a pattern that has previously been shown to occur when making judgements incorporating extra information. It suggests women may use additional, pragmatic knowledge to inform their decision on a speaker's confidence, says Jiang.
"There is substantial evidence already that women are better at detecting nonverbal cues that are subtle or that are presented outside the focus of attention," says Schirmer. Sex chromosomes and hormones appear to have a role in this, but the full reason is uncertain.
It also explains the supreme importance of irrational confidence as well as why women find arrogance so attractive. When a man is confident enough to openly display arrogance, you can hear that confidence in his voice. And it shows why faking it doesn't tend to work very well; put on whatever act you like, but if there is a tremor in your voice, women will hear it and judge you accordingly.
15 comments:
'And it shows why faking it doesn't tend to work very well; put on whatever act you like, but if there is a tremor in your voice, women will hear it and judge you accordingly. '
Then it stands to go with the truth. Otherwise women can sense a weak man and get their claws into him.
Hate in the eyes. Disrespect. A little give and take, a psychic nip, some honking, a flip, some serious sizzle. Flounder with foie gras. Delicious. I love me some quickie.
Well, I never! I wouldn't lay a nickle on that, and if not, now you have. No charge, madam. Now get off my damned porch!
A deeper timbre of voice helps, too. My husband's mother decided to give him a feminine version of a unisex name (she liked the spelling better), so that was something he's had to overcome most of his life; a boy named Sue kind of thing. But his voice is very deep and masculine, so folks don't even comment on the name. Eye contact and a strong voice can overcome many things.
Wow. It almost sounds as if women judge and objectify men.
And women say they aren't superficial.
I'm guessing "Fifty Shades of Boss Hog" would be a hit.
As Earl said, all the more reason to speak the truth and to own it.
One thing the beginning player has learn to do is move on after being shot down. Never take it personally. She just wasn't interested. It didn't happen. Move on. There is no point at all in sticking around with one girl who you lost her in the first second.
Cutting and pasting from my own blog.
"The 2005 People Magazine's list of the Ten Sexiest Men Alive is an amazing view into the female psyche. None of these men have anything in common in the least. Ian McShane made this list and he was 63 at the time. Although frankly it wasn't Ian McShane these women were voting for, it was Al Swearengen. A man who couldn't speak without saying, "fuck" and in his first appearance stepped on a woman’s throat.
My point is you are going to get shot down, way more than you are going to score. Accept that as a given fact. Sperm is plentiful and can be expended without worry. Eggs are rare. In a state of nature, a women can only reproduce a species average of seven times successfully (IE produce a child that lives to adulthood).
Some care is required for mate selection but this will not be driven by intellect. Her instincts are going to drown out an intelligent choice of mate.
It should be noted that there is difference between a girl noticing you and being aware of you.
If she is only vaguely aware of your existence you might still have a chance and you have not made any real impression on her yet. You might have chance. So go make an impression, you have nothing to lose.
Better make that first sentence, and the first word of that sentence, count.
So if you can't "make it," what are you to do?
N I CES
@ Derrick
1/ Desensitization. Face rejection. Get those reference experiences.
2/ "Fake it til you make it" Amy Cuddy. Behavioral modification can induce physiological changes. In and of itself not enough to really make it but it will get the ball rolling. A slight boost in confidence could just be enough to succesfully approach an average girl.
Genuinely helpful advice:
Saying anything the moment you make eye contact is better than saying nothing for three seconds later.
By the time you get to three Mississippi, you are the creepy guy who is just staring at her.
Saying the perfect thing, three seconds later isn't much of an improvement. Not unless you really know what you are doing and if you do, you wouldn't be here.
Not true, Cataline. I would bet plenty of men would agree with me, too.
This is why you should never watch porn. If you get addicted to porn, you drain your sexual energy, it hurts your confidence, and it makes social interaction more difficult.
It also seems to help to have facial hair. People seem to pay less attention to what I saw if I ever cut my beard too short.
Thank you for this effort
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