Half of all women have a ‘Plan B’ - in the shape of a man whose arms they can run into if their current relationship turns sour.This isn't problematic or worrisome in the slightest. It's no more surprising than the "news" that Alpha males have a virtual stable of women with whom they will probably get involved in some capacity in the event that they find themselves single. Indeed, one reason that women tend to be much less likely to leave higher-status men is due to Dread Game implicit in his status; she knows that if she walks, it will be for good because he'll have a replacement, and quite often a younger, prettier one, in a matter of weeks, if not days.
A study carried out among 1,000 women found a substantial percentage have managed to keep another man waiting patiently in the wings should they end up single. And, worryingly, married women are more likely have a Plan B in the background than those who are merely in a relationship.
It also emerged the Plan B is likely to be an ‘old friend’ who has always had feelings for the woman in question.
If your wife or girlfriend doesn't have a few delta and gamma orbiters, she probably isn't very attractive.
24 comments:
I've come to believe that even the low SMV women have a few orbiters. I've known no less than 3 dog-faced chunkers who have dumped their men and had a dude waiting in the wings. Vagina and desperate men make a deadly combo.
My ex's orbiter was a lesbian. Not sure what that means.
Dread game. gotta love it. it. whether done intentionally or unintentionally (preferred) its great when you retrospectively think about it.
"If your wife or girlfriend doesn't have a few delta and gamma orbiters, she probably isn't very attractive." - While I agree with you, I'm having trouble with the logic that half of women do have orbiters and half don't and that the half that don't are probably unattractive. Again, I agree with you a gut level, but I can't shake the feeling that there are other mechanisms in play. I know some gorgeous home school moms that don't have any apparent orbiters and I would bet that their Alpha husbands wouldn't put up with them if one showed up.
There is no disputing that Spacebunny is very attractive - does she have orbiters and if so, how do you deal with them, if at all?
While I agree with you, I'm having trouble with the logic that half of women do have orbiters and half don't and that the half that don't are probably unattractive.
I think it more likely that almost all of them except the very ugliest have orbiters. Many women just don't admit to it. Remember, half of all women were willing to admit to having a conscious "Plan B" on their own part. The existence of an orbiter doesn't depend upon whether the woman acknowledges him as a possibility or not.
There is no disputing that Spacebunny is very attractive - does she have orbiters and if so, how do you deal with them, if at all?
Of course she does. I mostly pay them no attention at all. There is no need to do so.
I know some gorgeous home school moms that don't have any apparent orbiters and I would bet that their Alpha husbands wouldn't put up with them if one showed up.
I will bet that you simply aren't aware of them unless you are stalking their Facebook friends. Their Alpha husbands don't care; do you really think any of them are even remotely surprised that men are attracted to their pretty wives.
Most Alphas think orbiters are pathetic and literally beneath contempt.
I wonder how many of the husbands/boyfriends of those women polled knew about this.
It is interesting because if they did know, they are either high-status or low-status. Low status men would know because their women would berate them for not being like that guy. High status men would know because they know their wives/girlfriends and, as VD pointed, wouldn't give a damn about them.
GF Dad, it's not that clear-cut. I know some fat, ugly women who have orbiters -- low value ones, but orbiters nonetheless. Also, 50% of women admitted to having a specific Plan B. The other half are lying, or are happy enough that they aren't consciously considering a Plan B at this moment.
A woman who's happily dedicated to Her Man will keep any orbiters at a distance. There will still be interested guys out there, but she won't give them any overt encouragement. She won't ask them to help move her couch, or post cute cat pictures to their Facebook walls, or any of the other meaningless (to her) things girls do to keep guys in a secure orbit. So you won't see them hovering around her.
But there will be ex-boyfriends or wannabe-boyfriends who she knows are interested, and if she becomes unhappy or lonely, she knows where to find them and how to bring them into a tighter orbit.
When I was single, I found myself drawn to some married women. It wasn't because I was seeking them out. They were really nice people and I enjoyed their company. It seems like women who are in relationships are less hostile in general towards men. Also, they are mainly involved in doing some activity that requires the involvement of many different people. If she were to divorce, that attractiveness would be evicerated and I do not believe these women will continue to have these orbiters. Women who act on their attractiveness to orbiters will be disappointed.
Considering many of their plan B males are also married, or people they have previously spurned, I suspect they haven't put a lot of thought into it. As Dalrock has pointed out, having a plan B and executing a plan B are two entirely different things altogether.
In my experience, the restless and attractive married woman is not very self-aware. And because she doesn't organize her thoughts very well in respect of relationship successes or frustrations, but is responsive to her feelings and perhaps capricious in her acting on those feelings, isn't even *conscious* that she has a Plan B. (She just has 'friends' she thinks 'understand me better' or 'fill a need I am unable to satisfy' at home.
What is transparently obvious with a restless woman -- to us -- if she says, "Well, he's a great guy I married him for security and consistency" is not at all obvious to her (she's an alpha widow or pines for alpha leadership).
Thus I wonder if the percentage isn't far higher than 50%. We tend to immediately recognize if someone is on the BB or AF train, but she is likely someone who just wants to be herself, have it all, and is broadcasting sex radio waves to all and sundry that her needs are unmet. These women, in my experienced, are usually married to a good draft horse Good Man, and can't figure out why she doesn't want to touch him. Our popular media stereotype of the doofus husband rings true to her, but she doesn't break down why and lives in chatty contempt of her own guy until it's plain that she can trade up. And that too is simply a feeling, more than a calculation, which is celebrated by her female confidants (and any cad she is fantasizing about, such cad knowing he's in).
I don't think it can be overstated how FB facilitates this dynamic. Inherently ambiguous -- 'he's just an old friend' -- it's replete with ambiguity as to its use to a restless woman. She gets pictures, perhaps some day to day updates that fuel her fantasies of how things could be different. But it's not an overt betrayal as would be an OKC solicitation. In this way she can continue to lie to herself as well as her existing mate. Exceptions, of course, are those who understand what emotional adultery is or have concerns that she should manage her feelings to prevent destructive emotional dalliances that can jump the rails into more active forms of mate betrayal. The latter manage their FB usage accordingly.
If she's in regular FB contact with a guy, and discussing her 'feelings' about her inner journey or whatever, she's thinking about getting naked with him.
In the case of high-value women, I imagine the men that those women consider to be their "Plan B," and her orbiters, are not necessarily the same thing. A hot girl may have several BETAs orbiting her, being good friends and kissing her butt, but she'll instead select a sarcastic ALPHA who keeps teasing and ripping on her, gladly flirts with other girls, and otherwise obviously doesn't give a sh!t if she stays or goes.
Low-value women can only get BETAs, so they pick their boyfriends and husbands from their stable of orbiters.
I've come to believe that even the low SMV women have a few orbiters. I've known no less than 3 dog-faced chunkers who have dumped their men and had a dude waiting in the wings. Vagina and desperate men make a deadly combo.
@Hanns Strudle
Yeah, and there's also the phenomenon of morbidly obese girls having no problem finding a guy to marry.
Who orbits and wifes up fat, ugly girls anyway? I imagine that it's mainly:
1) Indifferent omegas who just don't care what the women they end up with look like, and
2) Certain gammas who've brainwashed themselves into believing fat, ugly girls are just as beautiful as hot girls.
A hot girl may have several BETAs orbiting her, being good friends and kissing her butt, but she'll instead select a sarcastic ALPHA who keeps teasing and ripping on her, gladly flirts with other girls, and otherwise obviously doesn't give a sh!t if she stays or goes.
Corvinus,
I'm not as certain.
I think the ones employing "hover hands" are lower than betas on the scale.
I think the Beta orbiter may give all the signals of comfort/resources but also possess more attraction than gammas and omegas. In addition, they also don't try to AMOG or push flirtation, which could be perceived as "aloof."
So, "Plan B" could be a beta with all the resources qualities women want, but also doesn't give overt "OMG, you are so beautiful" fawning that lower scale men would. In short, they don't try to steal another guy's woman and that can appear as interest mixed with indifference.
A lot of women only think they have back-ups.
I think the ones employing "hover hands" are lower than betas on the scale.
@Owen
Yeah, I know, I was borrowing all-caps ALPHA and BETA from here: On terminology
A lot of women only think they have back-ups.
That's why many of them end up remarrying down, or in some cases ending up spinsters. A woman might pull the trigger on divorce, thinking she'll have no problem trading up because she can think of at least 5 cool guys (cooler than her now-boring husband, at least) who have shown a sustained interest in her.
But when she actually goes fishing for them, she finds that two of them are taken, two of them have gotten bald and fat and aren't as great as she remembered, and the fifth turns out to be glad to bang her but has no interest in marrying. So she starts checking out the next tier of guys down, and then the next.... Eventually she finds a guy, usually, but often he's a guy she would have rejected outright when she was starting the process and thought suitors would be plentiful.
"A lot of women only think they have back-ups."
For Marriage maybe. Otherwise, all they have to do is open their legs..
Ah, here we go. From the article:
Furthermore around one in ten women said their Plan B had already confessed his undying love, while one in five said they were confident he would ‘drop everything’ for her, if she asked him to.
So, roughly speaking, only about 10% of the Plan Bs are confirmed gammas, and another 10% are gamma or delta orbiters who have made it obvious to her that she's on their pedestals. That leaves 80% of the Plan Bs being either ALPHAs, or deltas who aren't all hot for her (because she's ugly or he has a crush on someone else).
I don't think they plan to run into the arms of the beta orbiter when Plan A goes sour. Speaking as a former beta orbiter, what they will do when they are between boyfriends is increase the amount of attention they demand from you (and perhaps that they pay to you), but they still will not give you sex. LJBF! As soon as they find a new Alpha, they will lose interest in your company and conversation again, though they still might need you to take them places and generally be available to do things their Alpha boyfriend refuses to do.
The real Plan B might be some other Alpha or former boyfriend who will fuck them - they will run into his arms if Plan A falls through. But that won't be you, the beta orbiter. You are Plan Omega, and there is no sexytime in that plan.
Omega: I'm in HER orbit! She's pretending to ignore me. Stupid bitch.
Gamma: I'm a satellite! I can see everything! I can be everything! Of course SHE is my everything.
Delta: Oh shit. Not again. If I just wait for the right moment, I'll straighten this all out.
Beta: What the hell. She might be forced to downgrade slightly if she nukes the deal she's got.
Alpha: Honey, you really have to get a better class of orbiters. They are so lame they make me look like I've got a fat wife.
Sigma: Hey. You free?
Orbiting/white-knighting is not just an occasional behavior of weak beta males. It is one of the key sexual strategies of the human male. It works. These guys will get laid now and again.
More science:
Study: Past Sex Partners Could Influence What Your Kids Look Like
I don't think the link took
http://dailycaller.com/2014/10/01/study-past-sex-partners-could-influence-what-your-kids-look-like/
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