Monday, May 5, 2014

Bullet-proof self-regard

The impervious nature of the solipsistic:
Then, one day, a few weeks ago, an event happened (I’ll save the details of that for some other time.) Suddenly a torrent of emotions poured in. I was overwhelmed. I stayed home from work one day–my best friend Erica sent me some poetry, and I just cried. I wept. It felt like my soul was pouring out of me, one tear at a time.

I reeled from the onslaught of emotions for days, and soon thereafter, I broke off my relationship with Brian. Whatever wasn’t right in my life wasn’t easy to find. It went deep into myself.

Brian was shocked, and as well he should be. I loved Brian. I still love him. But something wasn’t there. It wasn’t right. It was why we weren’t getting married. He was the perfect guy on the surface, but for some reason he wasn’t perfect for me.
I Had to Leave…

That was Friday, April 25. Saturday morning, I woke up and bought a plane ticket to Boulder, CO for six days. It was there that I would kill my company. But at that point, I didn’t know that. All I knew was that I had to leave. I had to get away....

Today I write this, still in Boulder, still reeling emotionally from the large volume of changes in my life in the past week. I write this humbly, with a complete lack of ego. My business failed and it took my savings, and $640,000 of investor capital on top of that, with it.
She may have lost more than half a million dollars of other people's money. But, (and here is the important thing), she is at peace. And she feels stronger now, she has convinced herself that she is not a failure.

Remember the important lesson to be learned here: the feminine side of ourselves is not a weakness. Because lessons.

84 comments:

Shimshon said...

The mind reels. Will anyone call her on her BS?

finndistan said...

I used to read her blog now and then, and I tried to read that piece but I could not make it through it.

The woman ditched an apparently good man, sunk hundreds of thousands of dollars of investor's investments, destroyed their trust, and still writes this off as a success, as she is in peace.

Reading what i managed to read from that post; I had shivers run down my back, because this was a self appointed guru with a sizable readership.

Thinking back to all the unnecessary judgements I dished out on myself, well, because objectivity...

Time to train the hamster.

Tim Wheaton said...

"The mind reels. Will anyone call her on her BS?"

Comments are moderated, so even if they do, we won't see.

cailcorishev said...

Also an example of why women shouldn't be in business. Here she was, following the modern script and doing the entrepreneur thing -- even in tech, making her a women-in-STEM heroine! But ultimately none of it really mattered to her. All the achievement and money didn't matter as much as the friendships, and those aren't what business is about. So there was an empty spot in her soul and she didn't know why. Of course, the empty spot is where husband, kids, and home should have been.

One thing girls don't understand, because of all the rah-rah stuff from feminists about the wonderfulness of careers, is that men don't go to work for fun or fulfillment. That's why someone has to pay us to do it. We go to work to pay the bills. That doesn't mean we can't enjoy our work and take great pride in it, or that it doesn't add meaning to our lives. But a job is rarely an end in itself; it's mostly a means to the end of being able to afford the things we really care about.

And men are at least somewhat built to go out and compete with other men, to explore new projects and solve problems, so we can get some fulfillment from the right kinds of work. Women aren't built that way, so it's not surprising that she comes off sounding like she was just playing a game with Monopoly money and none of it mattered in the end except that her friends won't play anymore.

Too bad she makes it clear at the end that she's learned nothing and plans to double-down on the stupidity.

En-sigma said...

It is hard to grasp the concept of imploding your life, and the lives of anyone associated with you, because of emotions. I realize she actually did write cohesive sentences here, but it seems like that because the sentences are correct in their structure, the OP feels that the concepts behind those sentences should be accepted. Not a great grasp on how and why humans communicate.

Amy G said...

"One thing girls don't understand, because of all the rah-rah stuff from feminists about the wonderfulness of careers, is that men don't go to work for fun or fulfillment. That's why someone has to pay us to do it. We go to work to pay the bills."

This. Women continue to search for value in career achievement and it's an uphill battle because it's not what the feminine heart truly desires. A handsome, happy husband and babies - those have been more fulfilling for me than my college education and whatever petty, forgotten within months achievements I may have had during my career.

It seems the lasting achievements by women, the ones the world can remember without having to run to Wikipedia for their names, usually resulted in their early and untimely deaths. In fact, that's probably why they are remembered.

Dalrock said...

This is right up there with the woman who is suing the family of the young man she accidentally killed with her car because killing him caused her emotional trauma.

I didn't realize that this was a letter to her investors until I clicked on the link. This part in particular stuck out for me:

Am I upset that I lost my investors’ money? Only in the sense that many of our investors were my friends and I didn’t want to disappoint them. But the me coming out from this hurricane of chaos is a much stronger me, able to acknowledge the mistakes I’ve made, able to open up and be emotionally raw with my friends and my team–qualities that every great leader must possess.

rycamor said...

cailcorishev said...
Too bad she makes it clear at the end that she's learned nothing and plans to double-down on the stupidity.


It's one thing to apologize and retire oneself from the situation demurely. Her answer is

"Today I’m embracing myself as a leader not just in business, but in our world."

In fact, if you look farther up you see,

"...the feminine side of ourselves is not a weakness. It is, in fact, our greatest strength as the leaders of this world. "

I'll bold one critical word for clarity's sake: "...our greatest strength as the leaders of this world."

Magnificent. I am at a loss for words.

cailcorishev said...

Sometimes I wonder: when feminism was beginning to take root in the 1950s, when women were developing ennui because inventions like the dishwasher and laundry machines gave them too much time to sit around getting bored, did they really think men were having fun going off to the offices and factories every day? They must have, or feminists wouldn't have been able to get them thinking, "I've gotta get me some of that. How dare those men keep that to themselves!"

cailcorishev said...

Rycamor, exactly. I've had a business fail, and I wanted to leave town and crawl under a rock so I wouldn't have to tell anyone I knew. And I didn't have investors; I only hurt myself and my pride. I sure didn't think it qualified me to lead anything. But she seems to think this failure makes her more the kind of person others will want to follow.

I only wish I could be sure she's wrong.

cailcorishev said...

There's humble-bragging here too: you can't lose $640K of other people's money unless you were awesome enough for them to give it to you in the first place.

And yes, good catch on how women are the leaders of the world now. I guess we've officially gone past the co-partners stage into open female supremacy.

I don't know how old she is, and there's something weird about her face, but she's not bad-looking, and in a couple full-length pictures she doesn't look fat (which automatically puts her in the top 50%). But can you imagine trying to date her? How many nuclear negs would it take just to bring her down out of the clouds?

SarahsDaughter said...

The take away being - Don't invest in women's companies.

Good on ya, toots.

CarpeOro said...

"Am I upset that I lost my investors’ money? Only in the sense that many of our investors were my friends and I didn’t want to disappoint them. But"

No, no need to read anything past that point. A man writing this would have any number of the investors come and jack him in the jaw for it at the very least. No expectation of that for her at all.

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

Because courage, and shit.

PhantomZodak said...

amazing. i can only hope future investors realize what a failure she in life & in business. & the comment on her site pointing out that she's only good at destroying companies, gets a joke response from her.

rycamor said...

One thing you notice if you click around a few women's blogs of this type: certain phrases show up everywhere. Women are awesome. Women are amazing. Women are beautiful. Women rock! Women are strong. Women are even stronger because they are vulnerable.

How do you think the world would react if male bloggers started using similar mantras? Every time a man posts something about his "life story", somewhere should be a phrase like "because men are just incredible" or "men are so wise and intelligent" or "I just can't get over how damn awesome we are."

Note that these words almost always come from single professional career women. They are trying--hard--to sell the story. And they are desperately trying to convince themselves that it is all worthwhile. You don't see married women bloggers with children talk this way.

Joshua_D said...

Oh please, what a bunch of bull$hit. Of course, there will surely be some gammas just waiting in line to giver her some cash.

swiftfoxmark2 said...

Sometimes I wonder: when feminism was beginning to take root in the 1950s, when women were developing ennui because inventions like the dishwasher and laundry machines gave them too much time to sit around getting bored, did they really think men were having fun going off to the offices and factories every day? They must have, or feminists wouldn't have been able to get them thinking, "I've gotta get me some of that. How dare those men keep that to themselves!"

Nope, it was envy. Women got bored, saw that their husbands were exhausted from a hard day's work, and somehow thought that they had it better. Because they weren't bored.

GG said...

"Sometimes you have to rip everything apart to find the core of yourself.....And as it broke down with me,
so it will with others, as we learn how as a society to be authentic.."

This pretty much sums up everything that's wrong with US politics and our economy today. We are all trapped in a bad romance with Erica while she tries to find herself.

Desiderius said...

"They are trying--hard--to sell the story."

The female tryhard.

"And they are desperately trying to convince themselves that it is all worthwhile. You don't see married women bloggers with children talk this way."

Yeah, they talk that way about their children. Humility is a lost art.

paul a'barge said...

...Today I write this, still in Boulder, still reeling emotionally...

She is not at peace.

Wait, let me put it this way: all this self-destruction and she is not at peace, even.

Eric Wilson said...

Another weird thing is that she doesn't say what set her off, but because she doesn't the rest of the post makes me think it was something absurd. And now I'm trying to think of what the most absurd thing is.

Getting a parking ticket for parking too close to a fire hydrant
Her boyfriend forgot the eggs at the store
The coffee barista gave her full fat milk instead of skim in her latte
etc

paul a'barge said...

From her blog: I created this blog to help you grow your own business quickly.

Lady, the only thing you could help someone with is the taking of a huge financial dump.

Bob said...

Apparently it was her friend's poetry that set her off wasn't it?

So fucking unstable..

paul a'barge said...

Because of their cancellation, we could no longer make payroll next week

Good grief. She dumped employees on the street without a job. Quick, someone tell me who in their right mind would ever do business again with a woman as principal?

Eric Wilson said...

Bob,

No that apparently happened AFTER this unnamed event. But yeah she felt comfortable mention how she wept to poetry but couldn't mention the original catalyst.

paul a'barge said...

Oh yes, here's a photo of her and the guy she dumped:
http://s3.amazonaws.com/oldbloguploads/2008/12/n3002642_31824529_93441.jpg

Beta? Gamma? Delta? Loser.

Christopher B said...

swiftfoxmark2 and cail, I suspect the apex fallacy had a pretty strong hand in those developments as well. No woman really 'saw' her exhausted middle-manager husband after a long days work. They only saw the Don Drapers.

paul a'barge said...


When they publish photos of themselves in which they're photographed from the side, looking over their shoulder in the direction of the camera, you know they're fatties.

jaybeespancakes said...

It's interesting that her blog has an article dated Aug 2013 with the lede:

"Here’s the story of how our funded startup almost collapsed–how we recovered, and how ultimately we became better and stronger because of it."

Nothing she writes can be trusted. Hadn't she already rebirthed herself like the Phoenix in this personal epiphany that is so popular with the emotional tourist?

That's horrible what happened to her employees. You can't not make payroll. She should sell her possessions if she has to. (Speaking as someone who liquidated an IRA to make a moral not legal obligation.) You fire them with their final pay; you don't not make payroll.

Harold Carper said...

I hope there are some lawsuits coming from her investors.

Harold Carper said...

Then, one day, a few weeks ago, an event happened (I’ll save the details of that for some other time.)

Gee, I wonder what his name was.

newrebeluniv said...

"Entrepreneur"? What exactly was her business? Now she is going into consulting? Consulting what? Feeling good about your failures? Is there really a market for that?

Harold Carper said...

With all those female entrepreneurs, there are two markets for Erica's services: 1) Feeling good about your own failures. They'll pay Erica to teach them how to do that. 2) Feeling good about your frenemy's failures. They'll pay Erica to give themselves warm-fuzzies about her failure.

LibertyPortraits said...

It's a simple business plan: train people how to overcome their cognitive dissonance.

GG said...

"Yet something lurked just beneath the surface. It would come out at awkward times, like 3AM, when I would wake up and feel an edge, a discomfort. Something felt broken."

With women there really doesn't need to be an "event," the event is irrelevant. That's why she doesn't mention it. The event only exists as a reflection, a justification after the fact for what she is already feeling. You see that happening in politics today too, the way we bend the nature of events to reflect our own worldview.

When all is going well, it's actually a very beautiful design. Women tend to act like mirrors and reflect back the very best in men, children, our communities. Problems arise when the mirror "feels broken." It's very hard to explain, but she says, "I would wake up and feel an edge, a discomfort." I suspect what she really means is that she would "feel no edge." Men provide an edge that women really need in order to function well. She reveals herself when she talks about how perfect the fiancé is. Objectively he is perfect, biologically he's all wrong. No edges.

That bit of biology is incredibly powerful in women. As you can see, she'll destroy her own life and take others down with her in the process. What's so remarkable is that she doesn't have a clue about her own biology or what is happening.

Yohami said...

"she'll destroy her own life and take others down with her in the process. What's so remarkable is that she doesn't have a clue about her own biology or what is happening."

All necessarily leadership qualities.

Bob said...

Women seem to have this obsession with burning down everything around them, when they feel something in their life isn't going as well as it "should" (magically) be, or even if it's great, but not quite as good as someone they know.

Rather than fix that one part, they seem to want to wipe clean and start again, and wipe EVERYTHING clean. How often have you seen "new man, new life, I'll come back stronger" and so on. They then go through this weird cycle of constant "rebirth".

I think it's because their vagina pass literally lets them do that. There's no line that can be crossed where it's an ultimate "failure" for them. They literally can just wipe clean and start anew each time, knowing that they can easily get another man, job, and feelgood friends (orbiters), or sex at 4am if they need it. It's all handed to them each and every time they wipe clean and start again.

A bloke would be a LOT more hesitant to go nuclear like that, since he has to work for EVERYTHING, every single little thing, so starting from scratch is even tougher. Some also never recover when they hit that "failure" point.

Jack Amok said...

...helping other authentic leaders of larger companies...

Other leaders? OTHER LEADERS?! Listen, Little Miss Trainwreck, leaders don't flee the scene because they're sad. Leaders don't abandon the people who have agreed to follow them when the going gets a little emotional. They don't go on a crying jag a thousand miles away and phone in the message that they can't make payroll.

Payroll, you pathetic little fraud. How people keep a roof over their head and food in the cupboard.

Don't you dare call yourself a leader, cupcake.

Bike Bubba said...

It's worth noting that the amount of investor money she lost--and from what sources?--is about half to a third of what it typically costs to open a McDonald's restaurant. Now granted, it is an achievement that she sold one business for a cool million--and again, how much of that to investors?--but we are not exactly talking about a tycoon of industry here.

LP 999/Eliza said...

women, including me must keep reality and the halt thinking too much.

the post reminds me of the power of rationalization.

perhaps its not applicable but a proverb states, IIRC, 'she wipes her mouth or has some kind of stolen bread, calls it sweet and that she has done no wrong.'

LP 999/Eliza said...

or something more, perhaps the woman of the post could never be happy anyways. she did Brian a favor by walking away.

GG said...

"Women seem to have this obsession with burning down everything around them...."

What you seek, you destroy. It's girl thing, what can you say. Most of us manage not to disembowel anyone in the process.

cailcorishev said...

perhaps the woman of the post could never be happy anyways

I had a related thought this morning. I was driving to work, and went by a pretty young girl, maybe 14 or so, waiting for the school bus. I thought to myself, "What's going to happen to her in the next several years that (quite likely) will cause her to deny her natural urge toward motherhood, convince her that what she really wants is a career, and make it difficult for her to ever be happy?" Of course, getting on that school bus every day for 13+ years is a big part of it.

I think there was a time when this woman could have been happy. She might have been six years old, but such a time existed. But now....I can't help thinking she's damaged beyond repair. She could be like the type-2 diabetic, who has lost the ability to process blood sugar properly: going low-carb will control his blood sugar, but may never fix his insulin production to the point where he can eat sugary desserts again. She may never be able to be happy with the "simple" life of hearth and home that fulfilled most of her ancestors, even if she wants to, thanks to her personality and expectations being twisted for so many years.

slarrow said...

I think I may do some consulting for a month or two, recovering my finances and helping other authentic leaders of larger companies find their voices and build better teams. (Email me at erica at erica dot biz if you’re interested in talking about this further–it won’t be cheap, but it will be worth it for you.)

This is the part I found astonishing. After publicizing the fact that she's unstable and abandoned her post, she still thinks consulting jobs will just drop in her lap and has no trouble justifying whatever fee she wants to charge. The brazenness is breathtaking.

Trust said...

@: "What you seek, you destroy. It's girl thing, what can you say. Most of us manage not to disembowel anyone in the process."

You are right, most women don't disembowelled men. I know of two, Lorena Bobbitt and Catherine Becker. And I don't use then as examples since they are a negligible minority. Most women would never do that.

However, what bothers me is how high of a percentage of women were amused by it. Remember all the Lorena Bobbitt fan clubs, and I think Sharon Osborn was talking about Catherine Becker's gifting with amusement as women in the audience busted guts over a penis being destroyed in a garbage disposal. A man who made fun of a woman maimed in such a way would not get laughter from men... he'd be more likely to get beaten to death by then.

Most women would never dismember men, but want to be able to get away with it of.they feel like it.

paul a'barge said...

@Harold Carper: "Then, one day, a few weeks ago, an event happened (I’ll save the details of that for some other time.)

Gee, I wonder what his name was.


This. Straight up.

She met an alpha male. He probably banged her breathless and then dumped her when she begged too loudly. Bad boys will do that.

I'm taking bets on this. Anyone?

Jack Amok said...

She met an alpha male. He probably banged her breathless and then dumped her when she begged too loudly. Bad boys will do that.

I'm taking bets on this. Anyone?


I'd take that bet. She's too fat for that to be a high probability. More likely, she was shit-testing Brian by putting on pounds and he wasn't passing the test (she's not thin in her blog photo, but she's a lot thinner than in the one you linked to). She got unhaaaaaaapy with him for not calling her out. I'd assume the "big event" that triggered her meltdown was that she found out from the 22% customer that they weren't going to renew the contract next month which would crater the company, and she didn't know what to do. She fled the city before it happened so she wouldn't have to face anyone in person.

But who knows. She could have run into an old college roommate who now has three kids, a good husband, and a happy life and melted down.

CarpeOro said...

paul a'barge said...

From her blog: I created this blog to help you grow your own business quickly.

Lady, the only thing you could help someone with is the taking of a huge financial dump."


Ah ha! Perhaps, after careful mulling over, there is a method to her madness. The "Producers" is the actual business model in use.


Jack Amok said...

From the About part of her website:

Many executives and high earners are depressed, and I understand exactly why. When you get to a point where your monthly income safely covers all of your expenses, and then some, you start wondering about bigger issues. You see, most people live in a reality where they set only personal goals. “If I had $100,000,” they say, “I would pay off my mortgage.” .

She has zero respect for lowly "personal goals" like keeping a roof over your head. I suspect her employees don't all share that philosophy, at least not at the moment while they ponder their own mortgage's and rent checks. She has no clue that success is hard and no clue how much luck is a part of any success. She assumed it was easy, and the mundane details of - oh, I dunno, staying solvent - could be ignored while she pursued noble goals of solving everyone else's problems.

She's also probably at least mildly bi-polar. Most entrepreneurs are. Men are generally taught to suck it up and deal with it. But she runs away and that's her strength! Hooray for Team Woman.

jewelledcranberry said...

She's also probably at least mildly bi-polar.

She also talks about being "on the Pill" in personal posts. That stuff screws with your brain, your body, your entire life in such bad, bad ways. It ought to be illegal. Hormonal BC is powerful mind-altering medicine, only you don't know it's altering your brain.

You take acid, or mescaline, or smoke pot, to alter your perception and way of thinking. Unless Acid Test parties have come back in vogue, you don't accidentally ingest these mind altering drugs, you take them with the stated intention of getting f*cked.

You take BC pills with the stated intention of getting f*cked, too, but don't realize that your brain is also on offer in that screwing.

No, I'm not excusing her behavior as "she was on the pill, go easy on the poor wee lass." I'm just saying, it's likely one of the contributing factors to the bat-shit mess she has going on in her head.

She's in her mid-30s. Desperation is setting in, she doesn't know what she wants but knows she doesn't have it and maybe never will, and all she is doing is for naught. The fame and fortune promised her doesn't fill the emptiness in her soul, but she can't go back now.

She met an alpha or an ex: I'd take that bet.

cranberrysblog said...

She may have also, plainly, realized how full of sh*t she is, what a sham her business is (if it is a sham, I don't know how you build or sell websites, it all seems house-of-cards to me but that's why I've never built a site and sold it for $1.1M).

I have an old friend from HS who, like me, was told over and over again how smart and talented and wonderful and Take-Over-The-World we are! She went to an Ivy school, married then divorced a blue-collar business owner, and moans, often and over and over, about how she just knows she was meant to do more with her life, and she loves her kids but can't wait until they're older so she can pursue her dream of making a difference in the world, of being that wealthy an, d powerful force of a woman who has her name written in the stars and history books as a game-changer.

I blame our HS history teacher, he blew so much smoke up her ass. I used to think they were sleeping with each other. I still do, but now I also suspect he's a closeted homo. Well, that's an aside. Point: a lot, tons, almost every young woman you see out there is being told that she's a dynamic and important human being destined for greatness. It's incredibly disappointing to find out just how average life can be sometimes, and that no one really cares if you're name is in the history books.

So you destroy everything around you, because if you can't have it, nobody can. And then lie to yourself that you really are better off. It's this, the lying to yourself, I don't understand. We all do it at some point, it must be some sort of survival mechanism, the way you don't remember the pain of giving birth or something similar. But to do it on such a grand scale and not only to yourself but your investors and clients is unconscionable.

cailcorishev said...

When you get to a point where your monthly income safely covers all of your expenses, and then some, you start wondering about bigger issues.

Ah, so the problem was that she got so wealthy and influential that she lost track of the mundane. Probably got tied up in solving world hunger or some other "bigger issue" that deserved her special attention.

More humble-bragging.

cailcorishev said...

When a man reaches the point where he realizes that his name won't be going down in the history books, we call it a mid-life crisis: he buys a sports car or gets some hair plugs, we all make fun of him, and then life goes on.

When a woman reaches that point, we all have to give her a hug, join her in an extended contemplation of her navel, and then have a long discussion about how society still doesn't provide what women need.

Doom said...

I get what you are getting at. I do. What I don't get is the surprise. If you hiked up to a frozen lake, broke through the ice, jumped in and went for a swim, and then discussed surprise about this thing called hypothermia, I'd feel much the same.

Perhaps many really don't understand, live in a fantasy that women are up to what society, law, people, have given them. And maybe you are trying to help them see?

You, those of us who understand, and the realities as they continue to populate... all combined... won't change the system as it stands. So I also don't understand discussing it. There really isn't anything to debate, no matter how heated it can become. So I just call it discussions. But without the power to change, or even teach many, there really isn't a point. The system will have to fall, and the economy will have to go back down to the true difficulty of actually managing needs, basic needs, before the world finally puts women back in their places. Then, if a woman digs here way up, she won't be there because the worlds thinks she can, but because she has... in the rare cases where that will occur albeit. There simply isn't anything to discuss or do. Hypothermia. What else is there to say?

On the good side, the more women who do this sort of thing, the more people who trust with what shouldn't be trusted, the faster the fall. So... I'm sort of good with this. Heck, make it so only women can vote. Wine is fine but whiskey is quicker.

tz said...

somewhat off topic, but homeland securityWatch our extended web-only interview with The Yes Men and indigenous activist Gitz Crazyboy. Earlier this week, members of the group spoke at the Homeland Security Congress posing as U.S. government officials. At the conference, they announced a fictitious new U.S. government plan called "American Renewable Clean-Energy Network" to convert the United States to 100 percent renewable energy by 2030. After the announcement, The Yes Men and indigenous activists led the audience in a large circle dance to celebrate the fictitious plan.

xxxx said...

"Women seem to have this obsession with burning down everything around them...."

This remembered my ex-girlfriend to me. She was unsatisfied about her life. She dumped me after seven years of being a couple. She had a cosmic quarrel with her mom and she said terrible things to her. She left the country to move to France. She broke any communication with me and reduced the communication with her family to the strictly necessary.

Four years later I knew she had met a French guy online five months before her move to France. She "married him" two months after her trip.

Her last email (one month after her move to France) said that "she was at peace at last", whatever this means. So this story resonated in me, and not in a good way.

Bob said...

"This remembered my ex-girlfriend to me. She was unsatisfied about her life. She dumped me after seven years of being a couple. She had a cosmic quarrel with her mom and she said terrible things to her."

Pretty much exactly the same as mine, except only after four years, and she didn't flee the country or area or whatever. She was having trouble in her own life with finding work etc. She'd gone and studied English, Psychology and Media Studies (lol) without any thought of what to do with them after. So of course the only work she could find was cleaning work, which she wasn't happy with. Helped her as much as I could with interview stuff for finding something better, (we were only late teens back then).

She suddenly decided she wanted to "start again", have a "new life, new man" etc, even though my career was going pretty well (which she likely resented). She dumped me, had massive fallouts at home and all that. The thing that stood out to me though was a friend showed me her Facebook (I don't use it), and my god...

There were HUNDREDS of messages from "friends" who saw her relationship status change, offering their sympathy at "her breakup", and asking if she was ok, and that they were there for her etc. Yet she was the one who initiated it! Of course me being the man I got bugger all support with my young heartbreak, I just got on with it. It just flabbergasted me at how many people acted like it was something bad that had randomly happened to her, when it was through her own doing.


There's no wonder they're so quick to go nuclear when, if they did something as stupid as setting themselves on fire, they'd have people in droves coming in to "support" and "help" and so on. Rather than looking at her and saying "What did you do that for, silly bitch". It's literally a no lose scenario for them.

Eric said...

Brian was shocked, and as well he should be.

Usually there are signs when your girlfriend is pathologically selfish. He probably shouldn't have been shocked.

Salt said...

I'm thinking she can start a home for wayward cats.

Dominic Saltarelli said...

Holy crap, no one has noticed the top comment from the blogpost itself:

Rob K
You're available for talks? That's great!

My business is very successful. But it's boring. i want to shake things up. Can you come in and share your expertise? You know, how to reduce profits by 500% and get at least half of my employees fired?

Thanks! Hope to hear from you soon.


HER RESPONSE!!

Haha, that's awesome! Absolutely. ;)

"Bullet-proof" indeed.

kh123 said...

She looks like a Steadman cartoon.

Well with that bit of deep insight, it's storytime, kids.

Friend of mine this last week mentioned that his mom - who apparently divorced his dad, left them both before he was 10, hooked up with a college dropout, and spent his inheritance from her side of the family to support this scenario - is now flat broke and living off the state for medical needs and the like. She made mention of this in a recent conversation with him, since a distant relative just passed away and the estate needs to be squared away, only to add: "Well, as you know, I have nothing to leave. Guess that's a good thing, since I don't have to worry about hassling with any of that."

Would probably add something about Boomers if I knew for certain how old she was.

Iowahine said...

She noticed business is tedious and hard and when you hire people and have clients, they expect something in return - every day. And, she got the hots for some man she intuitively knows she can't have, which caused her to admit, she's bored with gamma guy. And, after thinking she didn't want kids, she does, because of the man she can't have. All her "beliefs" have been challenged, but rather than let reality get in the way of her big fat overinflated ego, she spins out an elaborate lie about herself (publicly, no freaking less). She allows herself to wallow in all her feelings - save appropriate shame - and insists others reorder themselves to accommodate her "weakness," which she insists is a strength. (If only that led her to "My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.")

JCclimber said...

GG, what happened to you? Your comments sometimes make sense.

TarzanWannaBe said...

Here's a literal extract of Erica's post:

I my I I I my I I’ll I I my me I I my me I I my myself I I me I I I my I I I I my I I my me I I my I my preferences me I I my I I my I I me I me me myself I me my I my I I I my I I I My I I I I I my I my me I I I my me I I’d my I I my I My I I I I I I my I I I my I myself myself My I myself me I I I my I me me I’ve my my I I I me I I me I me I I my myself I my I I I I I my me I I I me I I I I myself I I I’m myself I I me my my my I I I’m I’m me my me I’m I lost your money.

With love,
Erica

GG said...

"GG, what happened to you? Your comments sometimes make sense. "

Sometimes I must go shrieking hysterically about the intertoobz to keep the NSA amused. It's my civic duty.

In all seriousness however, I've worked for the Erica's of the world. They really suck. That kind of attitude is pulling down a country I love, a community I love, and some of the men I care a great deal about. It's not fair and I'm not enjoying the downward spiral very much, but it is what it is.

2870b918-77c0-11e3-b9bd-000bcdcb8a73 said...

"The mind reels. Will anyone call her on her BS?"

Comments are moderated, so even if they do, we won't see.


When I linked over there a day or two ago, there were several critical comments, from Laguna Beach Fogey and others. Just checked back now, and they're all gone, including mine.

Somehow that top one from Rob K that Dominic quoted above is still there. Apparently she's so dense that she doesn't recognize sarcasm.

Al Cibiades said...

I've met Erica and she IS a solipsistic, atheist wide-eyed little kook from California who fell under the sway of the Internet marketing get-rich-blogging-bullshit scene in Austin, TX. She got lucky in her first web hosting business which she did sell for a million bucks, however this pantomime of Icarus is no surprise. I doubt she'll learn anything from this either.

Sambuca Ford said...

An anecdote I wanted to share. Recently met a long ago former co-worker for lunch. The experience was something. When I first met her she was mid-30s and married less than 5 years. The husband was a Delta blue-collar. They later divorced. Big Daddy was still alive to cater to her flights of fancy like massage therapy school (+$10,000 to find out she didn't like touching people).

She did not like children and was openly hostile to her nieces. After the divorce she would not date men with children because only one person was going to be the center of attention in any room. Often bragged about going without food to feed her numerous cats and dogs. This she felt was a moral virtue. Constantly worked any angle and any person for her own benefit. Convinced every man was coming on to her (we weren't). And had that one quality in a woman that I find terribly unattractive: Loud.

Fast forward 20 years. She is 54. Looks 72. Is in AA, childless, alone, works a government job. Loves Obama, medical marijuana - for what affliction I don't know - and government. The misery is written all over her face, in Sanskrit. Her options are not bleak. They are non-existent.

Sitting across from her I thought, "How could you bottle this?" Young women aged 14-21 should have some way to experience this like a Mrs. Ebenezer Scrooge seeing the ghosts of Future Spinsterism as the result of FI. She was the full flowering of solipsism after 50. No family, no husband, no adoring children, no economic security, no love. Merely the still droning lament, "Well, what about me?"

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Retrenched said...

'Women can do anything a man can do!'

*throws parade for a woman who does something that men do all the time without notice*

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See? I told you she's a fattie
http://www.patobryan.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/un28.gif

Al Cibiades said...

From her FB

"Who do you think you are?" the voice in my head stated, angrily. "Who are you to believe you are someone *special*, someone famous, someone who deserves success?"

"Because you write? Because you blog? Any fool can set up a blog.

"Because you know how to market products on the Internet? So what, anyone can learn how to write copy. Anyone can build a website and sell products online."

But today, for the first time, I finally heard a response to the voice.

It said quietly, "Because I am Erica Biz, and because the world deserves to hear my voice."

And for the first time, the other voice--the mocking one--was silent. Because it realized I had been sitting with the Big for several days now. And the Big had finally spoken.

To be continued..."

and after the collapse....

"Was just interviewed by the Wall Street Journal for an article on entrepreneurs and depression. The suicide of a female tech founder was what inspired them to write this article...stark reminder that things could have been a lot worse. I'm glad I spoke out."

cailcorishev said...

"My voice deserves to be heard" would be a bit cocky, maybe overconfident, but not outrageously so. But "the world deserves to hear my voice"? "Narcissism" may not be a big enough term for whatever that is.

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

What a loony!

Akulkis said...

LBF: I see that she deleted both your comments and mine. I've also been banned from posting on her blog (for writing that she should be ashamed at herself, not proud for pissing away over 1/2 $M.

Jack Amok said...

"My voice deserves to be heard" would be a bit cocky, maybe overconfident, but not outrageously so. But "the world deserves to hear my voice"? "Narcissism" may not be a big enough term for whatever that is.

No doubt. This woman better stay away from pools of water, is all I can say.

But, to take her words literally, well, she does have a point. The world is enabling dumbass broads like her, so maybe it does deserve to hear her juvenile tripe.

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abe mullivan said...

" She's also probably at least mildly bi-polar.

She also talks about being "on the Pill" in personal posts. That stuff screws with your brain, your body, your entire life in such bad, bad ways. It ought to be illegal. Hormonal BC is powerful mind-altering medicine, only you don't know it's altering your brain."

Interesting that you mention this. The pill has been shown to greatly exacerbate symptoms in women with borderline personality disorder and to cause symptoms even in women without the condition.

Jay Kay said...

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