Of those three traits, the only statistically significant interaction was that men with an above average attractive personality were more likely to get married. Taking each of the factors individually, no other significant trends emerged. But those three factors in aggregate (what the researchers called “the personal traits index”) were linked to likelihood of marriage. Someone who scored more highly on the index overall was more likely to walk down the aisle. (The personal traits index did not have a significant relationship with non-marital cohabitation, however.)This is particularly important for women to grasp. If you're a bitch, it doesn't matter how hot you are. Your SMV may be sky high, but your MMV will not be; no man wants to put up with a disagreeable woman. Notice too that people are less concerned about those with whom they live than they are concerning those with whom they marry.
“Increasing the value of the personal traits index by one standard deviation is associated with a 13.7 percent greater hazard of entering into marriage for men and a 13.2 percent greater hazard of entering into marriage for women,” the study reads. “Though certainly not definitive, these results suggest that individuals may be able to trade-off different personal traits to enhance their competitiveness in generating offers and finding a suitable mate. The results also suggest they may be able to compensate for a deficiency in one desirable trait by enhancing the presence of another. For example, a person lacking in physical attractiveness may choose to invest more in grooming in order to become a more attractive partner.”
Saturday, March 15, 2014
Moderation in marriage
There is more to successful relationships than simply being hot:
15 comments:
Ladies:
Good looking will get our attention.
Good behavior will keep it.
Good loving will make us happy.
Good cooking will keep us.
Ladies if you can't be a supermodel be feminine be pleasant and be non-confrontational. We aren't hard creatures to understand.
Shocker: agreeable people get married. Explains, maybe, why I'm no longer married.
Just finally ended a very weird, long-distance internet thing ("thing" is likely the best way to describe it) with one of the most beautiful women I have ever met. Gorgeous, exotic, Brazilian. 'Nuf said.
But bat-shit crazy. Highly, highly delusional.
As I wrote to another friend today: "this girl lives in a world of delusion... delusion wrapped in deception, layered in lying, marinated in manipulation, dusted with white lies, baked in misrepresentation, spiced with fabrication, and served on a platter of half-truths."
I'll be honest... I have never, ever, ever confronted delusion like this. And I readily accept the Red Pill truth (and Biblical truth) that even the best of women have solipsism and manipulation issues.
Long story short, our short little romance a year ago ended abruptly after a very odd weekend meeting in which I saw and heard too many things for me to ignore, too many things that just didn't fit, didn't feel right, and even sounded like outright lies, so I pretty much said "no thanks". Thank God we didn't do the deed, as we will later find out. After a little back and forth mid-year, an apology from me for being so hasty in cutting things off, then it dying off again around May of last year, I get back in touch, realizing that I had truly rushed, I felt I had hurt her badly and not really taken the time to process everything, give us one more chance (one more meeting) and be patient in the Lord in how I treated her and processed all the emotions and information.
So I go to see her last month... and... holy shit were my instincts SPOT ON, even if I might have been hasty in the decision-making process. I can not only thank God His protection in this, but also Alpha Game and the manosphere for being wise to some very bad signals that weekend. In seven months of not talking she had had another marriage, another divorce, and a second newborn son under her belt. Holy shit. Some poor bastard Austrian dude dipped his wick where I wouldn't (a clear testament to Christ's power, 'cause she was hot) and looks like his world turned upside down. Poor bastard. Not really though. He clearly thought he could be his own god, follow his own rules, and somehow get through life unscarred. And how could a more-than-willing, model-hot Brazilian woman naked in bed with you go wro... oops.
"Hot" is not worth a lifetime of deception and pain, of a woman wholly incapable of caring about, discerning, or admitting to truth, being affected by logic... of international child payments, of the thought of your son being raised by a pretty-little-lie machine. And I bet her two ex-husbands would readily attest to that. I bet the sex wasn't even that great, except for the momentary pride-boner they got from it.
I believe it's what Pascal called "licking the earth".
Well maybe not exactly like licking the earth, uh, 'cause clearly they were probably licking.. ok but in THEORY.. ....SPIRITUALLY 'licking the earth'.
Notice too that people are less concerned about those with whom they live than they are concerning those with whom they marry.
I used to have a girlfriend who was quite explicit about this. She had certain standards for men she'd date, a higher one for who she'd live with, still higher for who she'd marry. I met the second one but not the third.
You met the second because she is not serious about the third. If a woman is serious about the third and is any kind of honest and intelligent, she'll realize that she will not find and cannot find the third while existing and living in the second.
Living together is enjoying all the benefits of marriage without the commitment. It's playing at being married, while avoiding being fully responsible adults willing to commit to one another.
One day I approached a girl on the street, struck up a conversation, she indicated interest pretty quickly, the conversation went smoothly. After a few blocks she was at her apartment building and I let the tension hang a bit as I could tell she was interested and she broke it by saying, in a visible state of surprise, almost shock, that I seemed really interesting and it would be really cool to hang out with me again. Easy enough, right? And she was super cute, but once I suggested coffee and trading numbers she still looked visibly shocked/surprised (as though meeting some guy on the street she was really attracted to and found interesting had blind-sided her) and then told me that she has a boyfriend and lives with him, even thinking out loud to me (betraying some level of desire to change her relationship status) "i... uh, should probably o get a coffee with him..." It was stated as more of a question or statement of fact burdened with confused disappointment.
I said "ok bye" and walked off. Maybe I could have waited, angled, pulled the 'facebook' thing, but let's be honest. If you're living with the guy, you're married, you HAVE NO OPTIONS. You cannot play the field (not honestly at least). You're locked in. You meet someone with whom in five minutes you know you have a better connection with than you current live-in? Sorry, not gonna happen. You have no chance with the new person. You gotta break up, move out, deal with the emotional aftermath, etc., etc. Those are some serious barriers to re-entry into the dating market. Damn shame. Cute girl. Her stupid, impatient "I want dick regularly" decision, not mine. No chance with other men, even men possibly far, far better suited for her, unless she goes through the breakup pain. She's made her choice while lying to herself that she hasn't made it. Just 'cause she's "not married". Then stop acting like you're married then.
Vashine, you're right that she wasn't serious about marriage; she'd been divorced and was VERY leery about marrying again. But she was quite capable of starting a relationship while living with someone--we dated a year and a half before I found out she was living with another guy. (I knew she was seeing someone else when we started, but I didn't know she was living with him. She never lied about it, just told me enough of the truth that I jumped to the wrong conclusion about where the guy lived.)
Contrary to popular belief, hotness is usually the second or third most important trait a guy looks for in a woman. If a guy is looking for a one-night-stand, he wants the hottest girl that's available to him (availability is criteria #1). If he's looking to get married, he wants the hottest girl he thinks will be loyal to him and not get on his nerves living under the same roof as him the rest of his life (loyalty and personality are priorities 1 and 2).
Now, certainly men are not mistake-proof in making these judgments... but they still typically make them.
@alphanumeric..
The most common way that women lie is by leaving out essential facts. Men typically lie by embellishing (adding more on top of the truth).
This is why the witnesses oath in a court is to tell the truth: the WHOLE truth (women) and NOTHING BUT the truth (men).
Res, Are you trying to confuse the women? When you lay it out like that, the hamsters start spinning madly as they try to figure out what you really mean.
"a 13.7 percent greater hazard of entering into marriage for men"
What an excellent choice of words!
"a 13.7 percent greater hazard of entering into marriage for men"
What an excellent choice of words!
"a 13.7 percent greater hazard of entering into marriage for men"
What an excellent choice of words!
"a 13.7 percent greater hazard of entering into marriage for men"
What an excellent choice of words!
"a 13.7 percent greater hazard of entering into marriage for men"
What an excellent choice of words!
"a 13.7 percent greater hazard of entering into marriage for men"
What an excellent choice of words!
Post a Comment
NO ANONYMOUS COMMENTS.