Those who aimed to lose weight before their wedding set out to shed up to 20lbs (9kgs). However, those who managed to lose weight before their wedding put on an average of 7.1lbs (3.2kgs) within the first six months of wedded bliss. Brides who felt more pressure to lose weight to squeeze into their white dress gained up to 9.9lbs (4.5kgs) afterwards – almost three times more than brides who were not pressured to lose weight...The best strategy is to marry a woman who doesn't need to lose any weight in the first place, apparently. In my experience, women who take an amount of personal pride in their appearance are much less likely to let themselves go.
In general, post-wedding weight gain is not surprising and is perhaps a result of more relaxed dietary and physical activity habits now that the newlyweds no longer have a special event - and wedding photographs - for which to motivate themselves. ‘It is equally possible that this weakened motivation for maintaining body weight is due to participants feeling like they have already “snagged” their man and therefore no longer need to work on their appearance,’ according to the study which was published in the journal Body Image.
Monday, March 17, 2014
A loss of motivation
Unfortunate evidence that it's not marriage that motivates women to lose weight, but weddings:
17 comments:
Proof that the old joke that the most fatteniung substance in the universe is wedding cake is true.
There is a pretty good book out there called "his needs her needs". One of the chapters is on one of his needs, "a sexy wife". I recall the case study in that chapter where the marriage was falling apart and the man blamed it on his wife ballooning up, and she stated "he should love me for who I am". The book author and counselor to the couple asked her if she would love him "for who he is" if he wasn't willing to work and provide financially. She said no, and the light bulb went off. She lost the weight and their marriage instantly improved. Some men are extremely visual, myself included. I have a hard time understanding how some men can even get it up for their overweight wives.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
45lbs
Not even the weddings, but the wedding photographs. They know they'll be able to point to them for decades to come, and say "I am that hot forevermore, see this 1 day in my past where I looked pretty good (with professional makeup, dieting, lighting, and photoshop?"
What they're thinking is that because that one time in their life they looked good, everyone should categorize them as being rated at that level the rest of their lives.
What REALLY happens is that we look at their picture and compare it with what they look like now, and think (or say if you are caught off guard) "what happened?" Or even better "who's wedding pictures are these? Is that your husband's first marriage?"
Wedding photos = female hamster steroid-laced food pellets.
Meanwhile their husband may be looking at the same photo and thinking he really, really got ripped off.
No joke... a co-worker of mine got married last year. It's depressing to see a very pleasant-seeming cutie (with a sharp but not harsh sense of humour, no less) letting herself go.
I hope her husband does something to kick her bigger ass into gear and shape it up. Give me something nicer to look at around the office, at least.
It's all about the pictures (ie. it's all about other - besides husbands - who will see the pictures). We hosted my sister's wedding at our home. She was already 60 pounds overweight when she met her husband. She did nothing to lose the weight while dating him or while engaged. However, when I posted her wedding video on FB, private only for her to see, she freaked out, called me immediately and pleaded with me to delete it "cuz she's so fat." I let her flip out for a bit before I told her it was private and that no one could see it but her.
I'm afraid the age at which women choose to 'let themselves go' is getting younger.
I went to the beach this past weekend with one of my girlfriends. We were shocked to see a multitude of extremely fat girls lounging about on the sand like so many beached elephant seals. They looked like giant beach balls with legs the size of barrels. Many of them had tattoos.
My girlfriend and I just looked at each other: "WTF?" She was shocked at the young age of so many of these girls.
About ten years ago one of our office assistants, a young Persian hottie, got married. In the run-up to her wedding her arse almost doubled in size. It was appalling to observe. A few weeks after the wedding, however, her husband left her and 'came out' as a homosexualist.
I know quite a number of women whose in a relationship weight is 15lbs more than their not in a relationship weight.
Its hard to thread the needle on vanity though. You want somebody that will keep up their appearances but comfortable enough to let nature take its course when it finally does come. A man shouldn't ever have to have a fight with his wife over her getting a botox induced clown face.
If she loses 20 pounds before the wedding and only gains back 7-10 afterwards. . . I'm not seeing the downside here.
Not even the weddings, but the wedding photographs. They know they'll be able to point to them for decades to come, and say "I am that hot forevermore, see this 1 day in my past where I looked pretty good (with professional makeup, dieting, lighting, and photoshop?"
Which is why I schedule an annual lingerie photo shoot for my wife. Well, one reason anyway...
The classic Benny Hill skit -- the bride watches her weight until the wedding, when she starts gorging like a pig.
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xcuwz3_benny-hill-fat-bride-skit_shortfilms
If she loses 20 pounds before the wedding and only gains back 7-10 afterwards. . . I'm not seeing the downside here.
The downside is that it's much more common for her to lose 10 before the wedding and then gain back 20 the next year and 10 each year after that.
Feminism, including the feminized form of Christianity, Churchianity, deems any accommodation to male desires or needs as evil, sexist, intolerant, judgmental, and oppressive. And of course, if it's a white male, clearly it's racist as well.
Nothing is ever taught about the possibility that submitting to a man's godly needs and desires, in particular in order to please (aka to give and to be selfless towards) one's husband, might actually benefit her as well. As in getting her fat as out of bed to workout, eating much healthier food, feeding that same healthy food to her children, and therefore feeling much, much better every day of her life. And spiritual growth, discipline over the flesh to BOOT! Wow, what a revelation. Duh.
Nope. Let's be fat. And get tattoos. Then cry about how men are so shallow and only want "beautiful" women.
No, men want attractive women. Which does not necessarily mean drop-dead gorgeous. It certainly does not mean waifs and anorexics. It means healthy. Healthy and some modicum of happiness that does not depend on anyone but herself and God. Aware, conscious, and self-disciplined enough to not gorge oneself on shit all day and sit around wasting their minds and lives texting each other selfies.
The older I get, the more women I see around this techno-obsessed world which is turning everyone into emotionally-stunted, instant-gratification control freaks with way too many "friends" and without a wit of real patience or wisdom to get to know someone... the more attractive the dirt poor, backwater, uneducated skinny ones become. The ones who will be so damn happy just to have a good man with some money and healthy kids (aghast! more than two or three kids?!?! That's darn irresponsible of you!) ... that she'll damn well not get fat on you and thank her lucky stars every day. And be happy to do it all. And fuck your brains out.
And the less she knows about pop culture, or feminism, the better.
Oh, and she'll be happy. Much happier than the others. Praise Be.
Don't marry a fat chick in the first place is an excellent piece of advice. Even better though is to be with a naturally skinny woman, women who put in a lot of work to maintain leanness hardly ever keep it up long term because they suck at long term projects, especially ones involving physical hard work. Lose weight, start up a Tumblr, get admiration, then get bored after 30 and get fat.
Please. I was Blue Pill most of my life and endlessly anxious and preoccupied about my gf's weight fluctuations and endlessly dissapointed when they ran to chubby and utterly powerless to do or say anything about it.
Then I took the Red Pill and realized I was never going to be stuck with that misery again. No woman who is not naturally slim, or who does not have bounteous breasts and ass to balance the proportions of a bigger waist, deserves one minute of a man's time.
It has to be effortless for the woman to stay looking good or you can COUNT on future misery for all.
I married a naturally thin woman and have never been happier.
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