I made the OkCupid profile of the Worst Woman on Earth, hoping to prove that there exists an online dating profile so loathsome that no man would message it. I did not accomplish my goal.... In making this profile, I made sure my creation touched on every major facet of being truly horrible: mean, spoiled, lazy, racist, manipulative, and willfully ignorant, and I threw in a little gold digging just for funzies. I maintain that there is not a human on this planet who would read this profile and think, "Yes, I'd like to spend any amount of the fleeting time I'm given on my journey around the sun getting to know this person." This profile is my magnum opus; it will be engraved on my tombstone.Let's look at the major facets she described:
- Mean: most attractive women are mean. In the immortal words of Heather #1, they are bitches because they can be. Being mean is how women maintain their intrasexual rank. Also, the more Alpha the man, the more a haughty woman tends to draw his attention.
- Spoiled: Most women are spoiled. By men. We learn to expect it.
- Lazy: Most young women are, by male standards, lazy. For example, I don't know a single young man who has ever asked a young woman for help moving. Why not? Because we know they won't lift a finger to help others unless it is something they enjoy doing or because there is something in it for them.
- Racist. These days, that's a major plus in many men's eyes. Does she really think white men are bothered by the fact that she's definitely not a mud shark? It's not as if black men like it when the hottest black women are taken by white men, and Asian men understandably bear considerable resentment on this score. If she wanted to significantly reduce the responses she got from white men, she should have said that she thinks Lenny Kravitz and LeBron James are hot.
- Manipulative. Seriously? From the male perspective, what woman isn't manipulative? She might as reasonably said that she has breasts and expected men to be horrified.
- Willfully ignorant. Given that this covers every feminist, every Democrat, and most Republicans on the planet, any man who didn't ignore a woman's willful ignorance would be, if not unicorn-hunting, at least searching for a very rare bird indeed.
- Gold-digging. Most women are hypergamous. Gold-digging is merely overt economics-focused hypergamy. Problematic, to be sure, but half-expected in the sufficiently attractive.
What she should have done instead is posted something more like this:
- i have a great job! i love my life as a guidance counselor in the Women's Studies department at UG! Go Dawgs!
- i am ten tonnz of snarky fun! If u can't handel that, u run!!!
- no Republicunz! No hate! 1 Luv!
- i will leave u for Taye Diggs if he ever ask me 2!!!! Fair warning, ayight?
- love me, love my cats. i haz 4! They can haz cheezburger.
- my main man LaThomas iz my life. he iz Gods gift 2 me!
- i am a big and beautiful woman. If u only like anorexy bitchez, u ain't man enough for me.#truedat