Sunday, September 1, 2013

The right time is now

How many of you wait for "the right time" before expressing interest in a woman?  I have a very good friend, a handsome, successful man who is now happily married, who used to take months, multiple months, before he would express any interest in a woman he had met.  He was, he explained, waiting for the right time to ask her out.

Needless to say, most of the women he would up dating prior to meeting his wife were women who a) approached him, and, b) were crazy. And I don't mean crazy in the sense of "yeah, she's kind of out there" or even "wow, she is a hot mess", but in the literally insane, psychiatric hold and evaluation, weekly therapy, and in one case, dead by her own hand, sense.

Men qualify women by deciding which women we will pursue. That's what our instincts are shaped for and they tend to be poorly suited for dealing with women who pursue us.  Men, much more than women, overvalue the expression of active interest on the part of a member of the opposite sex. We are too easily flattered. This is why, when you see a couple wherein the woman appears to have seriously outkicked her coverage, you will usually observe that she tends to be more aggressive than the norm and is the more personally dominant member of the couple.

The fact is that women expect to be pursued, want to be pursued, and are literally standing around waiting to be pursued. When you, as a man, refrain from playing your part in the mating dance, you send a message that, depending upon your sociosexual status, is either taken as rejection of her or self-disqualification of yourself.  Neither message is likely to spark any interest in you or make her any more responsive to your eventual expression of interest several months from now when, after having firmly established yourself in the friend zone, you attempt to make the leap without warning.

The right time is now.  Establish yourself as a player, (in the sense of being in the game rather than a spectator), as a possibility, from the outset.  You don't have to "make a move" per se, you simply have to make it clear that you are a man, standing in front of a woman, informing her that if matters are left up to you, you will be having sex with her at some point in the future. She can reject you; that is her prerogative. But she cannot ignore you, she has to sort you out one way or the other.

If you've got any reasonable shot with her, that's not a message that will offend her. And if it is a message to which she reacts poorly, then you don't have a shot with her and there will never be a right time.

So roll the dice. Make her choose. Don't give her the easy option.  Either way, she'll have more respect for you than if you eagerly ensconce yourself in the friendzone.

19 comments:

saunew said...

"... then you don't have a shot with her and there will never be a right time."

I think the realization that this is true alone would be enough to convince someone who "waits for the right time" to think otherwise. The hardest part is, of course, coming to that realization, even when learning it the hard way, unfortunately, thanks to the massive influence popular culture and mainstream media has in our everyday lives.

stagedreality said...

This post is spot on. Any type of woman from a club girl, a librarian, a teacher, or a good devout Christian....

They're all going to sort you into 'potential mate' or 'everyone else'. Without any guidance from you, the everyone else is a quick trip. If you don't put yourself into the potential mate category in roughly 7 hours of time spent with her....

Well, it gets much, much harder for her to see your mate qualities when you're stuffed in a pile of men she sees as those put on earth to qualify and support her.

Renly said...

How much does your physical appearance at the time matter? If you have bags under your eyes and haven't gotten much muscle on your arms yet, do you think that would dramatically increase the chances of being DQed?Or does attitude matter more?

verusconditio said...

Renly,

Attitude matters more.

~ Stingray

verusconditio said...

Men qualify women by deciding which women we will pursue.

The fact is that women expect to be pursued, want to be pursued, and are literally standing around waiting to be pursued.

Absolutely. This is why we primp, wear long hair (while young and should keep it that way), learn to walk with a wiggle, (hopefully) smile, etc. This is our way of trying to call you in. If it doesn't work, we will think exactly what Vox said, you aren't interested in us and we will then take our wares elsewhere. Don't wait. We might say no, but there's another leaf on the tree. On the other hand, we might just be interested.

Make yourself known and memorable.

~ Stingray

Nathan said...

Have you got any anecdotes for men who aren't handsome and successful already?

Vox said...

Renly, Attitude matters more.

Also, Renly, if you're interested in attracting women, you may wish to consider not naming yourself after a faggot prince from a fantasy novel.

Unless that is your real name, in which case you are excused.

Have you got any anecdotes for men who aren't handsome and successful already?

Of course not. All AG readers are handsome and successful. But the point here is that being handsome and successful isn't sufficient to compensate for the sin of not pursuing. When my friend waited for the right time, he inevitably found out that she had once been interested, but no longer remained so.

Renly said...

I knew that was coming, VD. I was asking for that one. I posted with the Google account option, and the e-mail I'm signed in is probably one I made a couple of years ago when I was reading Martin.

Vox said...

No worries. I liked Renly as a character too. I just figured that it should be pointed out that you were sending some suboptimal semiotic messages there. It's fine here, but you may not want a woman in whom you harbor an interest to discover that is your online appellation.

It could, at the very least, raise a few questions.

tz said...

Breaking the chains, winning the games, and saving Western Civilization.

It is easy to say "you simply have to make it clear that you are a man, standing in front of a woman, informing her that if matters are left up to you, you will be having sex with her at some point in the future".

That can be done for not very many dollars in sections of the major metropolitan areas.

It is somewhat harder to demonstrate to the ewes of the "Me generation" that you mean this in the context of consummating the marital act (Why are they late for the reception?), and that you take very seriously "Till death do us part" (Honey, if you insist, I can and will arrange for it).

The half-feminista half-christian confused woman may be good for a man who has the vocation and is in the position of missionary to such. Yet given the bias of the civil legal structure, how is this of a help for those who don't? If following your advice leads to the man being stripped of both his assets and children?

Running headfirst into a tribe of cannibals who don't speak your language might be a calling, but I don't exactly feel such a call. Nor to fish in a pond full of piranha, barracuda, and sharks. Or even carp.

And civilized women seem to be rather hard to find and/or pick out - much less Christian women - who follow both St. Paul and Proverbs. (not feminista wymyn attending churches with emasculated pastors).

Somehow the image of the caveman hitting the cavewoman over the head with a club comes to mind (knocking some sense into her before knocking her up).

If the goal, the telos is to save civilization - something even Roissy often laments about - then the goal is marriage and family and children who will renew creation.

Perhaps I am dense and am missing something, but I don't see how such works out in 2013. Many years ago - before I was born - the pursuit of a woman was directed to marriage and family. Today, the typical woman (land whales 35 or older whose bio-chronometer can drown out a fire engine excepted) thinks of the former as an equal partnership or merger, and the latter as optional, worthy of delay, and inconvenient.

Where is there wisdom for those who wish the same thing for today? For either/both women and men?

Weouro said...

It's just practice in dealing with woman's nature. As the pursuer a man's in control, so there's no need to marry or fornicate with a feminist. And then he won't be lying to himself about what women need and want who are decent marriage prospects.

tater said...

"She can reject you; that is her prerogative. But she cannot ignore you, she has to sort you out one way or the other."

Good line...men should be more afraid of being ignored than rejected.

Being rejected means you at least took a risk. Being ignored means you did nothing.

Gilbert Ratchet said...

But then the old question: what happens when your advance is not only rejected, but followed by a sexual harassment charge?

thegreayman said...

Vox, I wish you'd post more on this sort of thing.

The importance of action by those of us who tend to be the "wait til the moment's right" type cannot be stressed enough.

Thanks to this I will be correcting the error of my ways and do some things with a couple of girls this very week. I've been putting it off far too long.

anorthernobserver said...

what happens when your advance is not only rejected, but followed by a sexual harassment charge?

Document your advance, and save it for a reasonable period of time. If you get charged, produce the documentation. While women have gotten away with making such charges in the past, there are cases where the object of said false charges had sufficient documentation to prove their innocence, which resulted in some serious bad news for the claimants.

Rick said...

My issue is there are no attractive women to approach. They're either too fat, too tatted up, too feminist, too masculine or a combination thereof. Men need incentive to get in the game, and women simply don't provide any for me these days.

mmaier2112 said...

I feel ya, Rick. Even the pretty ones get tatted up and it's beyond retarded.

My favorite is an ex-GF of a friend of mine. Since cheating on my buddy, she got knocked up by a loser beta orbiter, bore his spawn, and now she had stupid, huge tats all over.

I keep wanting to call her up and say "You're hitting about every spot on White Trash Bingo" except having some thug nigger's kid.

texaust said...

Great post, VD -- the story of your friend reminds me of this quote worth remembering:

"Men who do not make advances to women are apt to become victims to women who make advances to them."

-- Walter Bagehot

Pussy-ManiaGirls: http://goo.gl/w9Oepq said...

watching my collection, we have upload more video at here:

Collection Part 1:

Doggy Style and In Missionary Position

Hot Sex Anal With Amazing Girl Friend

Sex Under Hot Lights Bad Girls

Give Me The Cum

Cum In My Panties

Nude Amateur Teen Girls

Sexy Brunette Girls

Young Kinky Sluts

Busty Tattoo Chick On Car

Young Asian fucked anal

Latina Havana Ginger gets

Teen Threesome Porn

Hot Blowjob

Amateur Pulls Down Tanga

Sweet girl amazing hot

Sexy japanese babes getting their tight

TEEN BLONDE ANAL SEX ORGY




Collection Part 2:


Hot asian blowjob and pussy creampie

Sucking dick, Audrey put vegetables in all holes

Blonde love fuck

Naomi Russell And Her Royal Ass

Sexy blonde gives blowjob in the car

ASIAN XXX PORN VIDEO

JAPANESE XXX PORN VIDEO

ARABIC XXX PORN VIDEO

HARDCORE PORN VIDEO

GAY XXX PORN VIDEO

WATCH STREAMING PORN VIDEO

USA CELEBS XXX PORN

LATINA XXX PORN

LESBIAN XXX PORN

Hardcore Porn Celebrity

HOT TURKEY PORN MOVIE

INDIAN NUDES CELEBRITIES VIDEOS

UZBEKS Fuck PORN VIDEOS

HOT RASTA GIRL


100% MAKE you satisfy......








































Reply Delete

Post a Comment

NO ANONYMOUS COMMENTS.