Saturday, April 13, 2013

Game maxim in action

Never listen to what women say about what women want.  As evidence, I offer this list, by a so-called sex expert, which claims to reveal what women wish men knew about sex:

In order to feel like sex, I need to be emotionally turned on, as well as physically stimulated.

False. Women's sexual desires are hormonally based and triggered by socio-sexual flags. They aren't having one night stands with strangers because some guy whose name she doesn't know managed to appeal to her emotions.

Words are aphrodisiacs to me. If you want more sex, talk to me more.

False.  Talky talk is BETA and a big turn off to women.  Only cosmically dishonest seducers use words as aphrodisiacs, the average guy isn't going to talk a girl into being turned on.  In most cases, a woman will get more turned on by seeing you talk to a younger, prettier woman than by anything you can say to her other than "I am a billionaire."

The more housework you do, the more I will feel like sex. I'll be less tired and will feel more like an equal partner than a slave.

An absolute lie.   The only studies performed on this have shown that the more housework you do, the less sex you will have.  Women aren't turned on by their kitchen bitches.

I also want to initiate sex but I don't have time to work up an appetite if you make a move on me daily.

No, they really don't.  The fewer moves the man makes, the less likely it is that the woman will ever initiate sex.  There are many examples of men who have tried waiting for their wives to make the move waiting MONTHS before she bothered.

It takes me longer to orgasm than you and it's more difficult. Don't rush me.


This is actually true.   The female expert is one for five.

Be gentler. My skin is thinner and more sensitive than yours. What feels normal to you, often hurts me.

False.  The main problem with men, at least men over the age of seventeen, is that they are TOO gentle.


Don't assume I only want romantic sex. I'm also up for wilder, lustier sex now and then.

True.  It's a pity she doesn't give any useful advice concerning how a man is supposed to distinguish between a desire for the one versus the other.  Only half-credit.

Don't hassle me for sex after I've said no. It makes me feel unsexy, rather than turned on.


True, but irrelevant.  Isn't that why God invented porn and prostitutes, so that women wouldn't feel unsexy after they turned down sex? Which, come to think of it, is about as unsexy as one can get; it is actually anti-sexy.  Now, before the Christians get their panties in a bunch, try to recall that the Christian is not supposed to say no to his spouse.  Or, as in this case, her spouse.  The whole point of the command not to say no is to prevent one's spouse from succumbing to sexual temptation and degrading his spiritual life.  If you're going to say no despite the Biblical directive, the Bible is also perfectly clear on what the result will be.   Another half-credit.

Accept that I'm probably not going to orgasm purely through intercourse. I need stimulation of the clitoris by your hand or a vibrator. This doesn't mean I don't enjoy intercourse, it's just the way my body is designed.

True.  Three for nine.  You're better off just reading Roissy.

47 comments:

Herman the German said...

You're better off just reading Roissy.

+1

(He tends to be correct more often than not.)

Herman the German said...

Be gentler. My skin is thinner and more sensitive than yours. What feels normal to you, often hurts me.


--Okay what gives with this one, eh!??! My Colombian Ex-wife used to say that all the time when I would smack her sexy ass during sex. "If you wanna do that, you should go back to one of your _white_ bitches!"

update: My white bitches and I are quite happy these days.

Inane Rambler said...

"You're better off just reading Roissy."

Understatement of the week.

Yohami said...

"In order to feel like sex, I need to be emotionally turned on, as well as physically stimulated."

True, but because everything is emotional in a woman. This just means the physical stimulation needs to come from a man she can fantasize about. Same stimulus, different man, different emotions. To have sex she needs to be emoting.

"If you want more sex, talk to me more."

True as long as the talk is teasy and stimulant instead of comfort inducing.






donalgraeme said...

Most of this list is a giant fitness test. The authoress is challenging a man to defy her and do things the way he wants, not the way she wants. Such defiance is masculine, and is exactly want she wants at a primal level.

Retrenched said...

The discrepancy between what women say they want from men and what they really want never ceases to amaze me. It's boringly predictable and yet mind blowing at the same time.

Ashley said...

The only one I really disagree with (for myself at least) is the one about housework. When my guy takes the initiative to a domestic chore like dishes or vacuuming, even though we both know he hates doing those, it shows he cares enough, which makes me want him more than his otherwise lazy/I don't give a fuck attitude.

Ashley Pariseau said...

Actually I take that back, yohami makes a good point.

Ras Al Ghul said...

"Tracey Cox wishes we could all be honest about sex"

Ah, the irony.

Stickwick said...

It's a pity she doesn't give any useful advice concerning how a man is supposed to distinguish between a desire for the one versus the other.

There probably isn't any useful advice she can give in this regard. Maybe a particularly observant man can figure it out, but most of us women aren't aware of the cues we're giving to our husbands, except to flat-out say we're in the mood for X, Y, or Z. Not to mention that our moods can turn on a dime.

Rmaxd said...

Wrong women's emotions don't turn on a dime

Women's emotions turn on whatever the socially dominant position is

Woman use batshit crazy emotional behaviour as powerplays

Whatever the socially dominant position, women will assume it, regardless of how irrational or batshit

Women are socially contextual

They use social logic, ie logic from a 3rd person perspective

introvertsuccess said...

It's the Meta-Test as Rollo would say.

Emma said...

The first one wasn't a debunking, it was a translation ;)

Also, about women's sensitive skin. I tickle a lot easier than my boyfriend. Perhaps there is something to it (or it's just me). However, being gentler is the opposite of what should be done. The gentler, the more it tickles, which might make me laugh, but isn't sexually arousing.

earl said...

"You're better off just reading Roissy."

The fog disappeared when I entered his arena.

Natalie said...

Just talked to my husband about these:

1. She's halfway right. I don't have to be emotionally turned on, but I can't be emotionally turned off. If I'm disgusted/upset at my mom/etc it will take me a few minutes to cool down. Doesn't mean he can't be initiating during that time, but it does mean that "You. In bed." won't be quite so effective.

2. Ok, flirty talk is great. I love word play and sexy talk. That really does get me going. Jibber jabbering about your day, the local economy, next week's grocery shopping, etc won't get me going.

3. Duh.

4. Meh - if he wants to initiate all the time I'll let him. OTOH, if he does daily drive bys but initiates ever other day I'm more likely to fill in some of the gaps.

5. Yep.

6. Ok, there's a difference between having sensitive skin and being fragile. Some bits can't take the same level of stimulation all through the month. Also, level of arousal matter a LOT. The vigorous stuff though...that's different from pinching or twisting. Go for it. My hips aren't made of paper mache.

7. Yep.

8. Ok, I think this mainly applies when your wife is puking her guts out. I can guilt myself plenty about my body being adamantly non-responsive/out of commission. Don't need any help.

9. Yep.

earl said...

"Be gentler. My skin is thinner and more sensitive than yours. What feels normal to you, often hurts me."

Then become a lesbian.

"Words are aphrodisiacs to me. If you want more sex, talk to me more."

If that was the case she'd be having sex with women.

LL said...

Words are aphrodisiacs to me. If you want more sex, talk to me more.

She should have been more specific. Dirty texts, telling women what you are going to do to them once you see them counts triple points on the turn-on scale. That sexual build up, that anticipation is amazing. Sometimes, a girl just needs to see/hear that a man WANTS her and being at work, getting a naughty text telling you how you're gonna be taken from one end of the house to the other...YUMMO.

Be gentler. My skin is thinner and more sensitive than yours. What feels normal to you, often hurts me.

I think this goes to the porn industry and the guys going at a girl's bits like a rabid dog. They may appreciate a woman doing that, but most women are too sensitive for the whiskers grating on her sensitive vaginal skin or even that weird face shaking thing, like a guy trying to bury his face in her mound. So not cool. Porn is not your friend, guys. haha

whatever said...

Actually it's the time of the month.

One week would get a no, next week her sex drive is pumped, you get a yes.

Men don't have a monthly surge in sex drive for obvious reasons so this isn't obvious to them.

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Dathon said...

Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra

Stickwick said...

Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra

Sokath, his eyes uncovered.

Dathon said...

Stickwick said...

Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra

Sokath, his eyes uncovered


Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra.

The beast at Tanagra.. Kadir beneath Momoteh --> The beast at Tanagra!

Kiteo, His eyes closed. The beast at Tanagra. Temba his arms wide. Temba, at rest. The beast at Tanagra.

Kiteo, His eyes closed. Shaka, when the walls fell.

Kira at Bashi: "Temba, his arms wide. The beast at Tanagra. Uzani, his army with fists open. Temba, accepted. Uzani, his army with fists closed."

Darmok on the ocean. Jalad on the ocean. Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra. The beast at Tanagra.

Picard and Dathon at El-Adrel!

SarahsDaughter said...

"Men are like a microwave, women a crock pot"

Such hokum.

realmatt said...

Crockpot or no, I need it every day and fear no blood.

So..yeah.

Justthisguy said...

@Stickwick, on cues: The Semi-Sweety, when she was still the Sweety, could be rather blatant about cues. On one occasion when she was feeling horny, she pulled off her sopping-wet panties (it wasn't urine) and flicked me across the face with them. I took the hint. Yah, I have admitted to being somewhat autistic and sometimes having to have my face literally rubbed in something to notice it, and she ain't neurotypical either. (DES daughter, which seems to have both masculinized her brain a bit and also made her very feminine in some ways)

I think she knows what's up about this stuff, having designed the original Speed Seduction Web site. A very weird and interesting woman, she is. When she was young, she looked EXACTLY like the Playboy Femlin. She snores cute, too.

alphamission said...

Two corrections in one here, my girl gets off before me via intercourse. Thats how it goes for me anyway.

Sigyn said...

Only cosmically dishonest seducers use words as aphrodisiacs

Well, shoot.

Justthisguy said...

Hey, people vary. Most people are like most people, but there are always outliers. Who was who said, "The battle is not always to the strong, nor the race always to the swift, but that's the way to bet!"?

As a bit of an outlier m'self (extreme introvert, self-suspected Aspie) I have sometimes gotten crossways with people while they or I were trying to apply the Golden Rule. Why, just tonight, I ran out of the service immediately after Communion to pee, and to go outside where it was warm, and decided to take a turn around the Church and grounds, enjoying the greenery and the absence of other humans. One of the congregation came looking for me and asked if I was OK, so I assured her that I was, and much the better for some alone time.

At least I have gotten those people to refrain from hugging me when we exchange the Peace, I insisting on leaving it at a decent Anglican handshake. If I wanted hugs, I would build me a Grandin squeezebox, as I explained to one woman there.

OffTheCuff said...

Plenty of women orgasm thru intercourse alone. Marry them, I did.

Let someone else deal with the unorgasmic.

realmatt said...

Plenty of women orgasm thru intercourse alone. Marry them, I did.

Let someone else deal with the unorgasmic.


Damn yes. The callus-clitted vibrator lovers can go to Hell.

earl said...

"Plenty of women orgasm thru intercourse alone. Marry them, I did."

Those are actual women who know how to submit. The unorgasmic are wanna be men.

mmaier2112 said...

" The unorgasmic are wanna be men. "

I wouldn't agree with that. I'd say they're unorgasmic because they're unenthusiastic about their man at that moment.

Some women might truly not be able to achieve vaginal orgasm, but hypothetically it would be interesting to give them a vigorous, semi-dirty screwing by a guy that doesn't seem to care about her overmuch and see if she comes then.

Cail Corishev said...

False. The main problem with men, at least men over the age of seventeen, is that they are TOO gentle.

I don't think this has gotten nearly enough discussion, but it's true. I remember Sam Kinison (who really should have known better) saying that guys should take a cue from lesbians on how to have sex: lots of light touching "like butterflies." But most lesbian porn is created by men catering to male preconceptions about women and sex. Hollywood movies don't help, with the standard sex scene being all soft slow-motion fade-ins on the couple in various positions while jazz plays, ending with some modest cuddling. (With a few exceptions, such as Mickey Rourke and Lisa Bonet going at it so raw in Angel Heart that Bill Cosby disowned her.)

So many guys taking a woman to bed for the first time are thinking, "Be gentle, be gentle, don't hurt her, don't scare her, light touches, make it all about her..." Odds are the woman's thinking, "I wish he'd stop tickling me and start pounding already."

earl said...

So many guys taking a woman to bed for the first time are thinking, "Be gentle, be gentle, don't hurt her, don't scare her, light touches, make it all about her..."

That's because they had that mindset outside the bedroom too.

sunshinemary said...

Odds are the woman's thinking, "I wish he'd stop tickling me and start pounding already."

Yep. That is, in fact, what we are usually thinking. A smack on the rump will get men farther than light butterfly kisses. Even typing "light butterfly kisses" is yucky to me. Ick.

GF Dad said...

A couple of weeks ago, I came across the morning show on the local Xian radio station. The hosts, two men and a woman, were discussing their "love languages". The woman said her's were "acts of service" and "receiving gifts". She then contemptuously told the whole world that her husband's were "words of encouragement" and "physical touch". The disgust in her voice was palatable. I was torn between pulling over to pray for this creature's husband and asking God to put an end to Gary Smalley's and John Trent's "ministry". I feel this way because I have to wonder if those two clowns have given hamsters a language of double talk to further confuse and fitness test their poor husbands.

Stride Rite said...

The author left out: "Be man enough for me to submit to and I'll do anything you want in bed as long as it doesn't land me in the hospital."

Loki of Asgard said...

"I wish he'd stop tickling me and start pounding already."

Oh, certainly. You can get her to beg if you carry out your tickle foreplay while holding her in a half nelson. But you must know exactly what to touch, have the lightest fingers, and know precisely when to stop.

...Oh, were we speaking of technique? Or is this mere generalities and head-bobbing?

Markku said...

"You. In bed." ... The vigorous stuff though

This gives me an idea for a line.

"Bedroom. Vigorous stuff."

Anonymous said...

It takes me longer to orgasm than you and it's more difficult. Don't rush me.

This is actually true. The female expert is one for five.
'''''''''''''''

the most fucked up part about my relationships is my jealousy of my chicks being able to orgasm more than me
he he he

VD said...

Sure it is, Anonymous. Sure it is. Keep living the delusion, sport.

Anonymous said...

you don't think woman orgasm more than men?
it does kind of piss me off the limitations set on my dick by being human
woman have multiple ways to orgasm
prob why the o is so sacred to us because it is scarcer and less sacred to a woman cause more common

gunslingergregi

anon-regular said...

Semi-off-topic: The Christian Pundit - It Matters Whom You Marry:

(Reading with Game glasses on:)

Is he going to be tender and gentle to you in bed? An unbelieving co-worker once told my sister that after her first sexual encounter, she had trouble walking for a few days because her boyfriend was so rough. In other words, he wasn’t selfless enough to care for the body of the woman he said he loved.

And...

My husband and I were once with a youth group. There were three kids sitting across from us at a meal: two guys and a girl. The one guy was a computer geek with glasses. The other one was a college student with slightly cooler hair and no glasses. The girl was obviously with him. But while the computer geek was busy serving everyone at the meal, clearing plates and garbage, the college student got angry with the girl for a small accident and poured red juice over her leather jacket and white shirt. She picked the wrong guy, and the juice didn’t seem to change her mind.

And...

I recently saw a newly married couple and the husband was flirting openly with another woman. Unless something drastic happens, that marriage is headed for disaster.

The article of course has some good advice to young Christian women, but it misses completely the fact that a woman HAS feminine desires, and they aren't all about being kind and gentle. How many young woman will marry a sensitive, eager-to-please, herbed-down Christian man, and be completely unprepared for the Alpha next door?

As a man whose daughter is just entering her teen years, I completely understand a man's desire to protect his daughter. But, if he doesn't take her desires for a man into account in some way, he's only setting her up for a fall later on. Tough line to walk...

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