Personally, I have seriously considered cutting my hair off (as in really short-pixie cut) precisely because, like some before me have said, it lowers or even completely wipes away "attractiveness". One thing is for sure: it is practically IMPOSSIBLE to objectify a short-haired woman(unless she has a freakishly sexy, hour-glass figure,and shows it off, like Marilyn Monroe did) . Short hair basically makes your face, your features stand out and forces people to look you in the eyes, treat you as a person.As a person. Not as a woman, not as a sexual being, just as a desexed, gender-neutral thing. If you're a woman, you may want to keep in mind that what you're considering because you think it will be "cute" is the same thing that other women do when they intentionally want to AVOID ATTRACTING MEN. If that comment isn't convincing, consider this one:
As a hairdresser, I am horrified at the comments & judgements that you men & women alike are passing off to women who choose to wear their hair short. But as a heterosexual, 20 yr old, 5'3, 230 lb woman who prefers short pixie style hair for myself, I pity those so ignorant enough to not take personal preferences & personal opinions into consideration.If you genuinely don't want to be viewed as an attractive sex object, but prefer to be seen as an androgynous creature of no sexual interest to normal, masculine men, then by all means, chop it off. Put on another 100 pounds while you're at it; even if you have a beautiful face and a nice body, the combination of the short hair and weight gain should suffice to do the trick. But if reducing your attractiveness to the opposite sex isn't your objective, then you may want to reconsider the pixie cut that your slightly less attractive girlfriends keep saying would look so cute on you.
Conversely, if you happen to wish to attract men, you may want to consider trying what women who depend upon their attractiveness to men to make a living do and see how stripper hair works for you.
52 comments:
When I see one of these pixie-hair feminists (redundant, I know) actually marry and have children (which contradicts everything a feminist is supposed to stand for), I have ask just what in the hay-ell attracted the man?
Wow, how did I ever miss that epic discussion? The level of anger and spitefulness evident in many of the comments from women is surprising, especially the threats to uglify themselves because men find longer hair attractive. I will never understand why a woman would want to be unattractive to men for any reason, unless she is very neurotic.
Also, why do women continually use the word "ignorant" to belittle men's preferences? It's a non-sequitur. Is a woman who prefers the kind of man on the cover of a romance novel ignorant for not finding a dumpy guy attractive?
The comments from revrogers would be discouraging if I didn't know he was in the minority (at least I hope he is). Some of my female relatives - much to the chagrin of their husbands - have the same notion, that once a woman hits a certain age, she has to make herself androgynous in order to have any dignity. How utterly depressing. I hope there is a reason to keep myself feminine and attractive well into my 40s, 50s, and 60s.
Lastly, another recent commenter sez this:
Long hair was pretty and flowing, but it was a huge pain in the butt. I had to wake up over an hour early to get ready for school or work because it took so long to brush and dry.
?? I dunno what in the world this gal is doing, but my hair is currently almost to my waist, and it takes me 15 minutes to blow-dry and straighten. I've timed it. I only have to do this every other day, so the total amount of work it takes on a weekly basis to maintain long hair is really not that much. I think most complaints of this nature are just rationalizations for having shorter hair.
Cutting your hair like a "pixie" is obviously another way to get attention. Sends the message that the woman can't live up to normal expectations, and puts out the welcome mat for bottom-feeders and freaks.
I've had this discussion before, to no avail. Usually, they will point out some celebrity with short hair and say they are attractive.
Yes, but:
1. You aren't that hot
2. They all look better with longer hair anyway.
One thing that surprises me is that the length has to be in the front. Some women wear the long front/short back style and I think it doesn't make her suffer the same fate as a pixie.
Right before Christmas, while at the grocery store stocking up on last minute dinner items, I was standing at the deli counter when this older woman of about 50-55 came to stand next to me. She had beautiful brown and silver hair then went 3/4 of the way down her back. I told her how beautiful I thought it was and she was genuinely pleased I did so. She also stated that my comment gave her some hope. She had been wondering lately if she should cut it as she might be getting too old to keep it that long. I told her gently that she should absolutely not cut it. It's beautiful and she should keep it long. I got the impression she truly was happy to hear that.
If you should come across women with long hair that you find attractive, especially older women, tell them so. A little validation can go a really long way in something like this.
A 5'3 230 pound woman can pretty much do anything she wants with her hair. Not a lot of guys are going to be looking at that anyways, well, unless they happen to be living under a bridge or something.
Why any female would take the advice of a woman like that seriously defies comprehension. A woman that fat is going to grab every opportunity to drag her competition down like she would the last leg of fried chicken in the bucket.
When I see a woman with short hair, two thoughts immediately come to mind:
1. She hates sex.
2. She's trying to be masculine.
Needless to say her hairstyle does little to make her more interesting, more serious, or more respect-worthy. I'm a man. Just because she wants to neuter herself doesn't mean I should.
as a heterosexual, 20 yr old, 5'3, 230 lb woman who prefers short pixie style hair for myself
This made my day. Great way to start off the new year with a laugh.
Why any female would take the advice of a woman like that seriously defies comprehension. A woman that fat is going to grab every opportunity to drag her competition down like she would the last leg of fried chicken in the bucket.
This would explain some of the herd mentality in fat acceptance from the previous topic as well. In order to reduce competition or prevent moving up on the attraction scale, "fat acceptance" like encouraging a woman to cut her hair, increases the relative attractiveness of the one doing the fat acceptance or cutting of hair.
My comments in the previous post generated some amount of pushback that I'm not going to re-introduce for consideration here since it went of into biblical exegesis issues. I'll just say here that those women who do elect to keep long hair in the older season of life may want to consider how much the styling of it reflects an outdated long past style that should be reconfigured for their current age. Farrah Fawcett hair on most fifty to sixty year old women can be rather unsettling.
...reflects an outdated long past style that should be reconfigured for their current age.
So, then by this reasoning, should young men grow their hair out long and dye it all sorts of colors? After all, it's the current style for their current age.
Or maybe it's tatoos and mohawks nowadays, perhaps our illustrious host could answer that, I seem to recall him sporting a mohawk once upon a time.
I Loved that post!
From one of the comments: "You see, a beautiful woman doesn't just attract the nice, loving guy who wants to cherish and protect her. She also attracts all of the OTHER men, too, like the ones who were attracted to me - the ones who want to harrass her, and to pressure her, and to manipulate her, and to use her, and to rape her, and - do you get the picture?"
Plenty of unattractive women get raped, manipulated, pressured, harassed, objectified etc. Short hair is not a guarantee. In fact, the nature of men dictates that the disgust brought about from unattractive women and those who intentionally sabotage their looks, will illicit more undesirable behavior from bad men.
It was always my husband's contention that I should present myself in public out of the league of any man and off the market.
Porn star blonde works wonders to not being harassed. I get looked at, yes. Not threatened. I own some designer clothes that aren't over the top for the grocery store but yet send the message that I am well provided for. An aura of high value and class, I've found, is much more effective in silencing men. Men still give me attention like opening doors and kind smiles. Old grandpas talk to me often, when I'm with my children, I get a lot of "doin' good there kid" coupled with a fatherly wink.
Situational awareness will work far better for staving off potential rapists than sabotaging one's looks.
*sigh* Honestly, my face looks younger with a pixie cut, but my hair itself is good, and looks better long. I have gone back and forth throughout my entire adult life, without really understanding the source of the conflict. (And some days hair is a MAJOR ISSUE in a REAL woman's life. Go ahead, call me shallow.) The bottom line is this: short hair makes me look like a grrrl, albeit a cute grrrl, but long hair makes me look like a feminine woman. I now know which image I want to project.
"Porn star blonde works wonders to not being harassed. I get looked at, yes. Not threatened. I own some designer clothes that aren't over the top for the grocery store but yet send the message that I am well provided for. An aura of high value and class, I've found, is much more effective in silencing men. Men still give me attention like opening doors and kind smiles."
Women have a lot of power accessing the submissive and the feminine. A power that has great synergy with the power of the dominant masculine male. What a shame our world is today.
When a lady puts up a picture of her new do on bookface and it's short...all the "positive" comments and likes are from women.
Long hair is such a turn on for me...it smells good, I can run my fingers through it, and pull her ponytail when I feel randy.
I discussed this with my gf early on. I told her long hair is better; her's was just under shoulder length then. Lucky for me (and her), she likes to keep me happy. If you like long hair, tell your woman, and occasionally mock the short haired pixies.
About once every three or four months, one of my college friends (she's my age, married and has a child) says she's thinking about cutting her hair. Her hair is long, so she'll every so often ask her friends if she should cut it.
Without fail, all her girl friends, and I mean every last one of em that comments, will enthusiastically say "Do it, girl! It's your hair! You'd look adorable with it short!" After a while, I chime in and tell her not to cut it, that long hair is great on girls, etc. This usually elicits some rather heated remarks about "it's her body!" like I'm demanding she give me a kidney or something.
Her husband is of the same opinion, and has not budged an inch on it, so you can imagine the hysteria when she alerts the audience that she is not, in fact, not going to cut it because her husband doesn't want her to. "It's your hair! Do what you want with your body! Don't listen to him!" It just never ends. The crabs cannot tolerate anyone climbing out of the bucket, all must be kept inside.
Long hair is such a turn on for me...it smells good, I can run my fingers through it, and pull her ponytail when I feel randy.
Yes, but how does Randy feel?
"short hair makes me look like a grrrl, albeit a cute grrrl, but long hair makes me look like a feminine woman. I now know which image I want to project"
Which is that?
Taterearl, there is some sort of calculus for Facebook comments that belie a woman's attractiveness, when self-portraits are posted for obvious attention.
Man comments positively on her looks = +1
Man teases her = +2
Woman compliments her = -1
Woman dislikes it = +1
Something like this.
Stingray, that was kind of you. And that's inspired me to ask your opinion on something.
One of my friends has grown her lovely blonde hair much longer than she usually wears it, and it looks really good on her. When she said she was thinking of cutting it very short for the arrival of her new baby, I advised her not to. She was pleased when I told her how pretty it is, how young it makes her look; but she got a little annoyed when I also told her that her husband probably prefers it long.
So ... next time I have the opportunity to give an opinion on a woman's hair, should I just leave out the bit about a husband's preference or is it better to promote the importance of husbands' feelings on the matter and risk inadvertently encouraging a short 'do out of annoyance?
Incidentally, most of her other friends encouraged her to chop it all off. Her mother was encouraging this, too -- she has the standard matronly Lego Man hairdo, which is very unflattering. (But at least she's appropriate for the season of her life.)
should I just leave out the bit about a husband's preference
No, keep it as a handy profiling tool to identify which of your friends are toxic (not in the Britney Spears way, which would be better) and which are worth keeping around.
I also love the Lego man image. Hilarious and spot on! tally ho
stg58, I understand the point you're making. However, there's a distinction between toxic and merely flawed. Even women who aren't fundamentally crappy have the potential for bad habits and bad ways of thinking to develop; in such cases, friends can help by encouraging a return to the right path. This particular friend can benefit from my POV.
Anyway, my question was more general in nature, since there are opportunities to offer this kind of advice to colleagues, acquaintances, or, as in Stingray's case, strangers. I guess I'm wondering if the husbands involved would rather have their wives encouraged to keep their hair long by any means or if they'd appreciate a plug for their preferences even if it might come at a price.
"Man comments positively on her looks = +1"
On fb I'd say at best that's a 0 and more like -1. Sure it inflates her upper ego but doesn't do anything for the lower ego.
Teasing is more like a +4. The times I do it I'm the only guy she responds to. A nice "lame" or "gay" is enough.
I've only seen long hair on one older woman in recent memory. She was probably in her late sixties, and while her hair was completely white, and a bit thin and dry, I couldn't help but think of her as a woman, and not an 'old lady'.
She wasn't fat, either.
Or mean.
"Yes, but how does Randy feel?"
Well if you knew what part of my body is named Randy...we feel the same.
Stickwick,
That's a really tough question and I think it really depends on the woman. I think for some women, I would present the idea of it being more attractive for the husband and for some I would leave it at how pretty it looks for her as we know that some would cut it short simply to prove a point.
I've found it useful to ask questions rather than present an opinion they would rather not hear. Such as, isn't it a good thing that your husband would find it attractive? Don't you like to please him (though that would have to be reworded. I'm too tired right now to think of the best way to phrase that). It seems to take women out of the herd more that way, though I don't really know why.
Also, I tend to think of wanting to please one's husband as something a woman decides for her self anyway. It's so easy to say, "It's my hair and I'll do what I want with it" as it's the theme du jour. But wanting to please one's husband can also be a personal choice, it's just not deemed that way. If a woman wants to keep her hair long for her husband, she should be frustrated with her friends for trying to take that decision away from her.
Ugh, does that even answer your question? In short, feel her out. You said she might really benefit from your knowledge. Sometimes that knowledge needs to be presented gently and a little bit at a time. A nudge here and there, whereas a firm push will send her packing in the exact opposite direction. Besides, ponytails are far more easy than short hair any day, IMO. I chopped my hair a couple of years after I married and not only did I hate it (after a time) but it was more work.
I'll stop rambling now. ;)
she demands to be treated like an Equal Person when her avarice, power, and politics are served by personhood
she demands to be treated like a Female when her avarice, power, and politics are served by womanhood
via the proxy force of her government, courts, prisons, etc., males are responisible to know -- and to respond correctly to -- the moments she is Woman, and the moments she is Person
if a male gets that wrong -- in the office, at school, in the grocery store, at home -- well, he will have to pay his debt to society, and be taught his lesson
Stingray, yes, that answers my question. Gently and a little bit at a time seems to be a good way to get through to some women.
"I've only seen long hair on one older woman in recent memory. She was probably in her late sixties, and while her hair was completely white, and a bit thin and dry, I couldn't help but think of her as a woman, and not an 'old lady'.
She wasn't fat, either.
Or mean."
I saw one yesterday too...she even kept her head bowed down. When I smiled at her as a reward she smiled back. A woman like that even with her age is at least a 6 in the age of feminism.
"Men, yes, you prefer long hair on women, but don't you dare degrade those brave & beautiful few who don't fit into the mold of what kind of women you want on your arm."
I'd "dare" degrade anything I want. But thank you for your value-added input, Miss Troll.
Stickwick said...
I guess I'm wondering if the husbands involved would rather have their wives encouraged to keep their hair long by any means or if they'd appreciate a plug for their preferences even if it might come at a price.
Stingray said...
That's a really tough question and I think it really depends on the woman.
i would say that it depends on the COUPLE.
for your typical quasi-4th wave feminist population pairs such suggestions are likely to generate at least minimal passive-aggressive push back from the woman. it would probably even make the effemo-boy of the pair uncomfortable that you had publicly pointed out that he had a libido to be stimulated.
if the woman is naturally submissive, the man tracks alpha or if the man and woman tend more to traditional family roles, your comments will probably be received in a more constructive manner.
otoh, intentionally saying this to a quasi-feminist could be a good wedge through which you could salt the earth on her unexamined feminist assumptions.
There's a girl I know who isn't extremely pretty, but okay. She used to have long hair, and it definitely made her a little bit more eye-catching.
Then she cut it all off, and has the shortest hair of any girl I know. She looks like a ten-year old boy. No, scratch that, most ten year old boys I know have much longer hair. And after she did it, she was greeted by enthusiastic cheers from everyone else (men and women alike.) I was the only one who stayed silent, totally offended by the whole thing.
Consequentially, I think another reason girls chop off their hair is attention. It's a cheap, easy way to turn heads among your group of friends. Growing long hair is a time-consuming process and doesn't happen in a day. It fails to provide the attention the Hamster craves.
Objectification = men find other women more attractive and sexier than me. It must stop.
Perhaps, but it cuts the cost of mace and b.c., should she be into that. Uhrm, just how penny pinching is the average woman, though?
http://davidcollard.wordpress.com/2012/08/13/men-who-prefer-short-haired-women/
My hair is knee-length. It doesn't give me headaches, doesn't require daily washings (it's a bit dry), and doesn't require loads of styling. Anyone who tells me she cut her already-shorter hair off for those reasons, therefore, tends to get skeptical looks from me.
I'm kind of plain, but I get a lot of compliments on my hair from perfect strangers, so it's attention I wouldn't get with short hair.
Unfortunately, someone at work thinks it's funny to pin my braid to a convenient piece of furniture with a knife or tie it to my chair back when I'm not looking, but that's one of the hazards of working for an evil overlord.
This post needs examples of stripper hair.
Stingray's comment about the older woman with long hair made me happy. As I've hit my forties I've considered cutting my hair (currently about shoulder-blade length). A woman's hair tends to get dryer and frizzier as she ages; at some point it doesn't look that good anymore, but I hope to still keep it longish when I'm in my fifties if I can pull it off.
I know Vox loves these types of comments...however, if you can afford it, get yourself some "It's a 10" leave in conditioner. I've tried them all, it is the best product I have ever invested in.
This post needs examples of stripper hair.
http://arstechnica.com/civis/download/file.php?id=21288
Sometimes this whole manosphere thing cracks me up. You love to prattle on about how you're all taking the red pill and wising up to the evils of modern women, because there are *NO GOOD WOMEN LEFT* and then you start having a discussion about women with short hair and it descends into mud-slinging about unattractive lesbians and the losers who settle for them (or at least it did the last time you touched on this) and then you wonder why there are *ONLY WITCHES* left and you're better off a MGTOW.
I'll only say this once 'cos I know I'm only going to get flamed. I have no intention of getting into a dialog with you all about how I must be fat (my BMI is just fine, thank you) or whatever. Here's my story.
I had short hair throughout my teens and early twenties. I didn't realise it at the time but my hair cutting off was *ALWAYS* preceded by being treated particularly shamefully by men. And now you all assume I'm talking about being being pumped and dumped because I'm a slut. I was a virgin until 25 because I was reading the same guide to relationships as Tina Fey. My teens and early twenties were one long story of being two-timed, stood up and somehow managing to date men that seemed ashamed to be seen out with me. It was hideous. You're now thinking I must be ugly and very unpleasant personality-wise. The truth is I'm clever and good at STEM. Years spent in laboratories studying physics, chemistry and computing meant I interacted with lots of men, but you know how STEM guys are. I'm shy too. I went on *TWO* whole dates during college (for the record those were mostly long hair years). I heard later that lots of guys on my course thought I was cute but clearly way out of their league.
When I finally met my husband I had short hair and I'd basically given up on dating. You could call me a WGTOW. He didn't mind my hair or my pricklyness towards dating because he liked me personally. And I liked being with him so I stopped cutting off my hair and it was long in time for the wedding.
Jeigh Di,
I'm not cutting it anytime soon.
Ahhh,..careful now Vox, you wouldn't want to upset your favorite pixie now would you?
http://www.hookingupsmart.com/2012/02/10/whatguyswant/defining-sexy/
It's true that some women look really cute with short hair, especially right after getting it cut. It shows off the neck, and really gives them a different look, sort of like putting it up in a fancy do. But those same women would look even better with it long, plus they'd still be able to put it up when they want to. Long, you can do all kinds of things with it; short, you're pretty much stuck with one look until it grows out. For people supposedly obsessed with "freedom of choice," it's odd that they don't want more choice in their daily hairstyle.
I've had several women tell me over the years that long hair makes one's face look fat. Generally, these women were a little (or a lot) heavy, so their faces were fat. But it seems to be a truism among women that short hair is slimming to the face. I have my doubts (making it easier to see the flab under your chin and around your neck can't be slimming), and even if it's true, there are braids and other dos, as I said before, so it's not like long hair has to hang around your face.
Mostly I think it's just an attention-grabber. Chop off a couple inches from shoulder-length and get a perm, and soak up the compliments. Have your split ends cut off when it's halfway down your back, and no one notices.
A girl I knew in HS (and am friends with on Facebook) just posted a before-and-after picture on Facebook. She cut her hair from waist-length to approx shoulder-length. 14 Likes and 3 positive comments... all from females.
nothing beats stripper hair.
whenever I see one facing at me I always wonder about the face that the stripper hair belongs to.
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