Saturday, December 15, 2012

It's her tragedy

Doorstop makes an perceptive observation in the comments:
I've noticed number of women emoting with variations of "Heartsick and crying my eyes out, and just want to hold (children's names) and never let them go." Another example (albeit harmless) of female solipsism? 
Precisely.  This is further evidence that there is nothing, absolutely nothing, that female solipsism cannot take and make about the woman who stands at the center of life, the universe, and everything.

It can actually become rather amusing to watch the clash of solipsistic universes, as women - and a number of men as well, don't think they don't - posture in an attempt to one-up each other concerning who feels the tragedy more closely.  This is why you'll see all sorts of comments concerning how the events of yesterday struck so close to home because their ex-boyfriend's cousin once had a niece who attended a school that played a softball game against the junior high into which the elementary school concerned feeds.

There are few things the solipsistic love to do more than wallow in the emotional pain of others and pretend it is their own.  This explains a good deal of the nature of female-oriented television.

45 comments:

Anonymous said...

I noticed that too. Rather than saying the standard sort of line "my heart goes out to them" where at least some sort of empathetic state is suggested, they hijack it to fit their own victim ideology.

He effectively attacked all women when he did it, ie her. Project your own insecurities, self-doubts, history onto an ideology, say patriarchy theory. Mix well and revel in the hysteria.

Its akin to car crash tv, where people feel like they are watching due to some vague sense of "caring" about people who suffer, when its more likely watching those who suffer gives a chemical pay off in the brain due to seeing our mortality laid bare but its not ACTUALLY us suffering.

SarahsDaughter said...

If only the solipsism led to logical conclusions. I see value in it (why it exists within us) when it pertains to self preservation and survival of our children when we live within our God given roles. But take that out of the equation and solipsism hinders success in all areas women participate.

Here's the most recent one I've read from a grade school teacher: "Every time we have a lock-down drill there are anywhere from 2-5 kids who have fear and panic in their eyes. This year one of them happens to be my son. Throughout the entire drill i have to reassure the kids "it's just a drill"..."this won't happen here we just have to practice." All of that changed yesterday. I am heart broken...the world has changed. I am so emotional and sad. I fell asleep crying and woke crying. What is wrong with people?!"

First comment beneath it: "Thank you for taking care of our babies!!!"

What? She doesn't pack heat. She has no means to protect your babies. She is expressing her helplessness and inability to reassure her children they won't get murdered in class. This changed the world for her? I'm not sure where she's been the previous 38 years of her life, but this changes everything.

taterearl said...

It's even worse when I see guys saying the same stuff.

I get you love your kids and why women would say that stuff...but guys should realize their kids weren't the ones that got shot.

The guys who talk about what they would have done to that kid make a better case.

Anonymous said...

Further to my original point. Its interesting that self-help manuals and the psychology community overall often encourage people to look at magazines and articles about people overseas who are facing extreme hardships. It seems to me if these things were truly depressing then it would be terrible advice to offer someone who was clinically depressed.

Rather it offers a trigger to chemical pay offs in the brain by adaptive comparison with people worse off than you. News media are effectively offering a mass revelry in the "thank fck its not me" pay off.

DaveD said...

"There are few things the solipsistic love to do more than wallow in the emotional pain of others and pretend it is their own." - Vox

This is why I can't turn on the radio or TV today. I understand the women getting all emotionally invested but its the supposed men getting the vapors seemingly EVERYWHERE that nearly makes me sick. Is this what we've become? Women with penises, standing around, wringing our hands, crying because "what if it were my kids?"

Its sick.

DD

Parentalcation said...

I remember my first introduction to female solipsism. When I was teenager, this kids committed suicide, and I watched while the same chicks that used to tease him cried like he was their brother.

Cloud William said...

VD:

There are few things the solipsistic love to do more than wallow in the emotional pain of others and pretend it is their own. This explains a good deal of the nature of female-oriented television.

Thank you. I've been trying to find a way to express my annoyance with Obama's (and other politicians') speeches regarding the shootings. Obama's speech, and especially his "tearing up", was probably the most egregious example, and it frankly pissed me off.

Of course, most of the females of my acquaintance practically swooned -- even my wife, who has expressed her hatred of Obama and his minions, said she "admired" and "appreciated" his "support" of the families.

Bah.

Andy said...

Well, my heart goes out to all those parents I never met, in light of the tragic loss I did not feel, of the children who are merely a concept to me. My wish for them is that their pain would help me in exploring my own feelings, and that comfort would be very near to me at this moment. This is a tragedy over which I shall never get until the next time something I can use comes along.

Anonymous said...

I suggest you look up on youtube Blairs speech after Diana died, you know the whole 'peoples princess' shite.

Then watch Obummer.

Carbon copy.

Feh said...

This is why I can't turn on the radio or TV today. I understand the women getting all emotionally invested but its the supposed men getting the vapors seemingly EVERYWHERE that nearly makes me sick. Is this what we've become? Women with penises, standing around, wringing our hands, crying because "what if it were my kids?"

This pussification is why gun control will eventually succeed.

Unending Improvement said...

Obama has killed more children in drone strikes than the amount of children killed in yesterday's events. Of course his concern was fake.

Jack Amok said...

Yeah, my Facebook wall erupted with solipsism yesterday. Hard to look at, but in the middle of all the estrogen-laced blubbering a friend of mine, ex-army who trains cops for hostage situations, posted a messaging saying this is an excellent opportunity to teach your kids what to do if they're ever in a situation like this.

Run. Run like hell. Get out, don't hide behind doors or under desks, just get out of the building and run as hard as you can for somewhere else. Very few people are good enough marksmen to hit a moving target.

Of course, that post didn't get any female comments. How dare you help me solve my problem while I'm busy wallowing in the emotion of it.

jlw said...

This guy needed Game!

I also firmly believe that you can drive forever if you just don't look at the fuel dial.

ray said...

I've noticed number of women emoting with variations of "Heartsick and crying my eyes out, and just want to hold (children's names) and never let them go." Another example (albeit harmless) of female solipsism?


yup, right on target

their fake-grief chant is summed in a phrase i keep seeing about this -- "Hold them close!"

this is Woman, talking to Woman, about the necessity for even more control and power over HER children (God's children, actually, to do with as he wishes, but hey, this is Der Matriarchy)

guess which Horrible Gender is left out of the Hold Them Close prayer? isnt this just the Hominid Herd closing ranks in the savannah? exactly the process we've witnessed in the West the past half-century? Womenandchildren as the Elite, and males forced out to the edges of the tribe, disenfranchised in access to resources?

the Amerikan Matriarchy made its monsters, and now its monsters are coming back to find them

the Gynogulag's response? . . . close down the WomanChildren ranks even tighter, alienate millions more men, pass more misandrous "laws" and build more prisons

problem solved! 'til the next shooting, in a day or two

repeat and rinse forever, a perfect sistem of slavery

Feh said...

Obama has killed more children in drone strikes than the amount of children killed in yesterday's events. Of course his concern was fake

Of course, adult scumbags in durka-durkastan are not morally or practically equivalent to children in America, but whatever.

kh123 said...

"durka-durkastan"

Otherwise known as Ububuland.

papabear said...

From the surveys and such that I've seen, gun control is one of those issues which reveal the differences in the thinking of men and women; even women who own guns are more likely to endorse "stricter gun control." Would sufficient MGTOW (reverse Lysistrata?) be enough to get women to give up the vote?

kh123 said...

And yup, sometimes one has to admit that one cannot feel anything for anothers' toothache, across geographic or personal divides; Facebook meme drives against children-eating African warlords notwithstanding.

"With Major Lawrence, mercy is a passion; with me, it is simply good manners. You may decide which is the more reliable."

Emma said...

I don't like these too much, they sometimes sound fake. When someone says how much they feel for these people they don't know, even if they haven't seen them IRL.

And when they are not fake, they sound like things that should be kept to yourself or those who will understand and not judge. I think people who have kids feel dread and fear, when they hear this type of thing in the news. Because it happened to other people's kids, it can happen to their kids. It's a healthy reaction, I think. But it can't pass off as good empathy for those whose kids are dead or wounded.

Signe said...

Miss Manners once wrote tht people say incredibly stupid things to those grieving because they've become convinced that "I'm sorry for your loss" and "my condolences" are formulaic and threefore meaningless. You have to say something creative and elaborate to really get across that you have empathy for the bereaved, they believe.

There may be an element of that in this spate of "OMG HUG MY OWN KIDS" --the fear that people will accuse you of being heartless. One thing we women absolutely cant abide is people thinking negative things about us (no matter how much we claim otherwise0.

Signe said...

By the way, I'm sorry for my bad typing, but I'm typing onehanded. The other hand is holding down my skirt. I'm wearing pants to work from now on, whether or not my boss actually does ram that fritzy gravity machine up its inventor's nose.

Anonymous said...

I saw a picture on facebook of a letter written by a kid moments before he was supposedly killed in that school. The post received the typical responses from women and most men while some men said it was fake. The whole thing turned into a "men have no feelings, you need to be more sensitive, etc" argument, bla bla bla. Turns out that the kid's name is nowhere listed among the dead. They were so immersed in their feelings that they forgot to think about the ability of an elementary school kid to write a letter in two languages to his mom... WHILE THE WHOLE CLASS WAS IN PANIC.

Anonymous said...

There is a new diagnosis gaining traction as legitimate, and it's called PTSD by proxy. While I give credibility to PTSD happening to combat veterans, this whole idea that someone can go off the rails by just being tangentially involved with PTSD people or their situation is of the same solipsism that people who get overly tied emotionally to tragic events. I remember psychologists treating people for post-election depression disorder after the Kerry presidential loss.

http://thisainthell.us/blog/?p=18230

Of course people are affected by something this big, and no one like Americans have the "we must do something" reflex. I felt it at 9-11. Remember the lines outside blood banks until we realized there weren't going to be the survivors needing the blood like we thought. A lot of people inducted into the armed forces after that event. Pat Tillman quit the NFL to serve, and died overseas. Schools overnight were made to re-engineer, and older, less stable schools were condemned, in the aftermath of the terrible Our Lady of the Angels fire in Chicago.

But there's a difference in getting a righteous anger to try to make a change, and getting on FaceBook or Blogger about how one is in a corner crying all day about this. Emotional masturbation.

Turning schools into windowless pill box fortresses isn't the answer. Am I the only one noticing how new schools are looking more like prisons? My schools were celebrations of windows on the world. Banning guns? Spree killers are attracted to gun free zones: I've yet to see a mass killing in a gun store (btw: Ft. Hood, there is no place as gun controlled as an Army base, as oxymoronic as that is).

How about we quit turning out men who have no attachment to the world and nothing to hang onto, and who see their only way to something to be infamy. I hardly hear of a perp of one of these shoot-ups who was in a happy marriage with a respected job who spent his weekend mornings at the soup kitchen. Serial killers, sure, but they seldom use firearms to kill, and are a totally different animal, and our concern today is the spree shooter.

___ said...

I wonder if the greater number of men exhibiting feminine qualities (like the solipsism we're talking about here) has anything to do with the decreased testosterone and increased estrogen that's common in men these days.

Mina said...

most of my facebook "friends" agreed that weapons training and arming the front offices of the schools PLUS drilling the kids on what to do if something like this happens in their schools was the way to go. Anonymous: if you'd like some analysis on why schools look like prisons, James Howard Kunstler has done quite a bit on this. he'll probably post something compelling about what happened in his Clusterf@ck Nation blog tomorrow.

Martel said...

I'm most bothered by how our solipsistic grief can make the actual grief of the victims even worse. Case in point:

http://mamabythebay.com/2012/12/14/to-the-media-regarding-newtown/

I really don't give a shit if you're a seven year-old trying to comes to terms with incomprehensible evil. Housewives in Dubuque want to know how you feel!

crazyivan498 said...

Male is solipsistic grief is also appearing where I work. Feminsim making it's way through society into male minds I assume? Gamma males perhaps? Any thoughts on this conclusion?

Martel said...

Crazyivan: Yes, and I think a lot of it's through the political left. It's not only women who base their votes on entirely solipsistic reasons. Other interest groups like minorities, labor, and gays pay no attention to any issues others than those that affect them directly.

Also, legal interpretation is now solipsistic. The law or Constitution has no inherent meaning other than that which you wish it had.

And, of course, gammas who try to be more feminine try to adopt feminine thought patterns, for objectivity is a patriarchal myth. Furthermore, if you're raised with either a weak father or none at all, you're more likely to think in a feminine manner.

I think we're all somewhat solipsistic at birth (toddlers aren't known for their objectivity), although males have a greater ability to outgrow it. However, a father's guidance is usually necessary to develop this ability to move past oneself. Understanding you're not the center of the universe is part of being a man, but men have to be trained to be men. We don't do that anymore.

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Glunder said...

Strange - I was thinking right before this shooting (in response to the Clackamas spree) that sprees aren't accomplishing what gun control advocates want. What they really needed was an American Dunblane event. If someone shot up a school, preferably a kindergarten or pre-school class, the emotional swirl around this event could be used to manipulate women voters into favoring stricter (perhaps even UK- or Oz-style) gun regulations.

Given the efficacy of the "War on Women" rhetoric (appeal to women's solipsism) in the recent election, I fully expect that this is what will happen - the gun control people will now target women via images of their dead children.

It helps cement the solipsism that only women and children died at Newtown (apart of course from the shooter himself).

Brian the Brain said...

Perhaps this trajedy just shows what is really wrong with the world: a lack of compassion for men. I understand that we can classify the shooter as a wandering loser, who also suffered from mental problems. I am also sure that he suffered mightily at the hands of both Alpha males and Alpha females alike - at least that is what the media will tell us. 'He was abandoned by his father at an early age'...that's what we will hear. We won't hear about how his mother kicked his father out of the house (as usually happens in divorce) as she filed for divorce (2/3 of all divorces are initiated by women) because, well, she was "just so unhappy"! She may or may not have cared about the effect this had on her sons (few women do). The boys would simply have to understand how important her happiness was/is to her (forget thier happiness).

This is why women, regardless of whatever our society hands them, regardless of how educated or "empowered" they become, regardless of how high they rise up the corporate ladder, regardless of how much money they earn themselves or extract from a man, regardless of if they are married or single, even regardless of whether they are gay or straight - they will never rule the Earth. Why? Quite simply: they lack compassion. They talk about compassion, dream about it, expound the virtues of it, pretend that is important, and even try to monopolize it. The sad truth is they do not have it. They are most concerned about themselves and thier lives - always have been, always will be.

If there is a way to stop all of this insane violence; which I might add, has been occuring in other countries for many years; it will be accomplished by men - not women. Men have the real, true compassion that women lack. I do not know if it comes to us naturally or is placed in us by God himself, yet it is there. It is up to us (men) to stop future acts like this one.

Women will continue to marginalize us from our own homes and from their vision of a "polite society". Boys are only welcome in this new "polite society" until such time as they reach maturity and begin to question the "why" of the modern women-only society. They are now men and pushed out to the fringes where opportunity, love, and even acceptance are granted to them ONLY when they pay tribute to thier female masters. A shy man with mental issues, like Adam Lanza, ever had a chance. He would never get anything from his women masters so he fought back.

Even the so called "Alpha males" have succumb to this. They are dominant, but only within the framework of this women-only matrix that now calls itself America. The Alphas are granted thier status largely by women and womens' behavior towards them. The man who attracts the attention of the best looking women MUST be an Alpha - all the good looking women pay attention to him...he is socially dominant. Who can blame the Alpha? He is getting what we all want: sex and attention from the best looking women.

It is only logical that his behavior would mimick what women find attractive: lack of compassion. They (women) have none, do not understand it, and see no need for it since it distorts the view they most enjoy in the world: themselves.

Now is the time for Alphas to do what other Alphas in the animal kingdom do by default: lead. Alphas must lead America to a more compassionate view of the most forgotten and walked-upon group in our nation: men. The Bitches are not going to do it for us - all men need to stand together. When all men have compassion for each other, then America will be great again. Women will follow us once we show them the way but they cannot lead us to a better tomorrow. Just ask Kim K.

IR said...

The real danger is that if you're not emotive enough to a woman's desire then they consider it morally condoning what happened.

LL said...

How did the news know this woman lived there years and years ago? Why, I suspect she told them.

Mina said...

Cluster F@ck Nation today:

America the Horror Show

"For what it's worth, the Newtown Massacre to me is largely about the failure of men in America, and in particular the failure of men to raise up male children into men." (sic: as an aside he probably doesn't get that this is caused by the feminist agenda or that there is a whole 'nother issue here he hasn't yet explored)
...
"This moment for us is the sum of the unintended consequences of countless bad choices we've made for many decades against the backdrop of enormous material riches. I've inveighed against these manifold fiascos enough for this audience. The net result is a nation that has turned men either into weaklings, fakes, or monsters. I think the greater tragedy is that we are past being able to teach ourselves how to act and now it is up to nature and history to provide the only kind of instruction we can understand."

http://kunstler.com/blog/2012/12/america-the-horror-show.html

Daniel said...

If I were to believe the headlines, I think the only reasonable conclusion to come to is, if only we'd sold more guns to drug lords, this kid wouldn't have been tormented in high school and screwed up on prescription medication... or something.

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kh123 said...

"The Alphas are granted thier status largely by women and womens' behavior towards them."

Read Kreutzer Sonata. Has been going on in more than America for quite some time now.

Anonymous said...

I just read a news article that said, "Newtown was for teachers what 9/11 was for firefighters." As a teacher myself (and as a man) I think this may well be the stupidest headline I've read yet. It ain't about the teachers, chum.

Anonymous said...

I suppose for an abortionist it's just another working day.

dustydog said...

First - nothing wrong with worrying about the safety of the people you care about, when a tragedy occurs to someone else that might have happened to a loved one. Hell, when I hear about somebody getting 2 weeks of jury duty, I like to hug my wallet at the idea of losing that much income.

Second - a man kills his mom; the obvious question is whether the mom deserved it. The media would never tell the public if that were the case. The mom knew, or should have know, the risk she was putting her class in by teaching them, and she didn't care. Those 20 kids were killed by their mom, and by the teacher's union.

Teachers should undergo screening. Divorced women, separated women, unmarried women with kids - should all be classified as presumptively unfit to teach. What part of 'can't keep a man' is a job qualification for teaching kids?

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