We started dating when I was 19. This was the second guy I ever kissed. Aside from all the emotional stuff that went on, the physical stuff (sort of sex?) was…Really Good. Ok, so I pretty much went from 0 to 500 in this relationship, and have no real basis of comparison, but as far as I can tell, sex type stuff was really good for both of us. Emotionally: good to ok to godawful. Chemistry: through the roof...."I called later that night...." That says it all right there. No matter how much information the individual with the short end of the stick has, they always seek more. Why? Because they need more in order to rationalize away the information they already have! If you're seeking for "clarification" or trying to "understand" or think that a "conversation" is needed, congratulations. You're the one without hand.
The guy is a starving musician trying to make it big and currently has a harem of six, not counting the ONS. She asked me to play nice. So, Monday, we were all in the same place at the same time. I’m so much on edge that I can barely think straight, but I did my best to be friendly. Boy tries to give me (and assorted other female types) a hug before he goes; I take a step back. Boy asked if he could call me to get a cup of coffee next time he’s in town. I said: ok.I called later that night because I wanted to understand what his intentions were.
This is why it is a total waste of time to attempt talking anyone out of a situation where they are being used/abused by an individual of higher SMV. They already know the situation, they just don't want to accept it. Of course, if you're the higher SMV individual, this shows the correct way to keep a lower SMV chewtoy on the string: just throw them something with which to rationalize every so often.
Do that and it doesn't matter what you do the rest of the time. The rationalization hamster will take it from there.