Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Sigma vs Alpha

Whilst watching a movie:

Alpha: That reminds me of this one time....
Alpha's Girl: Tell me about it!
Alpha: [Tells long story that makes him look good.]
Alpha's Girl: Ooh, you're so awful! [Has sex with him.]

Sigma: That reminds me of this one time....
Sigma's Girl: You've got to be kidding.
Sigma: It was actually worse, because -
Sigma's Girl: Stop! Stop now! I don't want to know! [Has sex with him, sleeps with one eye open.]

Women are as strongly drawn to the Sigma as to the Alpha. But instead of having to deal with the simple angst that stems from unfaithfulness, they tend to find themselves facing a wide range of much more complicated angst. A quality Alpha story leaves the audience in a celebratory mood and inclined to exchange high-fives with the Alpha. A quality Sigma story leaves the audience amused and slightly alarmed.

And remember, a woman's hamster loves nothing so much as a vaguely sordid and possibly dangerous mystery.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Beta: That reminds me of this one time....
Beta's girl: Shhhhh!
Beta: Ok, sorry. Can I get you anything?
Beta's girl: Chocolate. [goes back to fantasizing about hot, sparkly sex with Edward].

Omega: That reminds me of this one time...
Omega [since he is, after all, just talking to himself]: Did I remember my meds?
Omega: ...this one time in junior high when I got to hold a girl's hand for a few minutes. We were square-dancing in gym class. I wonder what ever happened to her?
Omega: Is it time to masturbate yet?

Markku said...

More like Omega:

*tap* *tap* *tappity* *tap*

*clickety* *click*

*fap* *fap* *fappity* *fap*

Sigma LS said...

A man chases lots of girls
and maybe catches one or two
But when you've got the Knack
the girls chase you

Alphabeta Supe said...

I think you've hit on something here. The Sigma is an inside-out Alpha. He has the verve, charisma and fearlessness of the Alpha but with a sociopathic core. Unlike the Alpha he is by choice alone in the world but in phase with the sublime. Jesus of Nazareth would have been a Sigma, I posit.

indyguy77@work said...

Jesus as a... sociopath?

Yeah, I thinketh not.

artie said...

There goes my dream of being a sigma without being a sociopath (or psychopath)

Alphabeta Supe said...

What is so unlikely about Jesus as a sociopath? He rejected all worldly society and laid down his life in support of that rejection. How is that different to sociopathy?

Anonymous said...

"What is so unlikely about Jesus as a sociopath? He rejected all worldly society and laid down his life in support of that rejection. How is that different to sociopathy?"

You clearly have no idea what sociopathy is.

Boogeyman said...

Great. I'm full of creepy stories that seem to disgust and scare people but I think they're funny as hell. So I'm either a sexy sigma or a dangerous nutjob.

Nate said...

boogeyman... that's the point. dangerous nut jobs are often alphas or sigmas. that depends on if you are introverted or extroverted.

Chicks love to have sex with dangerous nutjobs.

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