Sunday, January 29, 2012

Why women often lack respect

A commenter at Dr. Helen's inadvertently sums it up in a nutshell:
Lot of men grow up learning that if they want something, they have to get it themselves. They have to manipulate the physical world.

Lots of women grow up learning that it's a hell of a lot easier to manipulate a PERSON instead of the physical world. Get a guy to do it for you.
When you do things for yourself, you learn to respect yourself and others tend to follow suit. When you get others to do things for you, you learn to develop expectations of others and others tend to conclude that you're a useless and demanding individual. This is not conducive to developing respect.

So, if you eventually want to be respected by others, either do things yourself or learn to do without them. There is a word for a person who is constantly asking others to do things for them. That word is "child". And while people may like children and harbor great affection for them, they don't respect them. They just don't.

Manipulate the environment, not others.

21 comments:

Sasha said...

"Manipulate the environment, not others."

Do you want women to become men?

Zorro said...

Nagging is nothing more than trying to change a situation with your mouth, finding out your first efforts failed, and then repeating the experiment until you get slapped into next week and the man in your life gets VAWA'd into a jail cell.

Happy now, you stupid cunt?

Anonymous said...

Women can't manipulate the environment. It is beyond their capacity. Women's capacity is on par with that of children and they should be treated as such - treated with affection but not respect or equality.

Victor Delamente said...

Women will not become men by manipulating the environment. After all, some women are excellent at manipulating the environment of a house such that it can be called a home. Positive manipulation of your environment earns respect from others. Respect is earned, albeit in varying degrees and in varying forms.

SarahsDaughter said...

"So, if you eventually want to be respected by others, either do things yourself or learn to do without them. There is a word for a person who is constantly asking others to do things for them. That word is "child". And while people may like children and harbor great affection for them, they don't respect them. They just don't."

I recently ended contact with a woman who has seemed to master manipulating others. At first it was neighborly kindness that I showed for her (she was a new Army wife in a new town). A few months later it was obvious that this person is a child and refuses to grow beyond that. I'm not sure she was cognitive of her manipulation. As the requests became more pathetic I lost any sort of affection (like I would have for a child) and became annoyed and revolted by her.

Sasha, I don't think it's a matter of wanting women to become men rather a realization that if women are to be anything other than a child in people's eyes, they need to adopt the very easy trait of being more self reliant. It is a change that can be made. Like Victor has stated, manipulating the environment of a house to create a home is respected by its occupants and those that visit.

Anon, I clearly disagree with you, it is not beyond a woman's capacity. A woman's natural tendency is on par with that of children, not their capacity.

Sasha said...

Positive manipulation of your environment earns respect from others.

Similarly, positive manipulation of your men should earn respect from others. Women have inspired men to greater works/accomplishments throughout the history - that's something to be recognized and respected.
*****
I encounter a lot of talk about men being "the movers/creators of technology/civilization, which seems to completely ignore the fact that without women men wouldn't be born in the first place. Without "positive manipulation" of the womb, none of us would be here. The womb manipulates the fetus un-(sub?)-consciously - just as majority of women affect men.

Delichon said...

//which seems to completely ignore the fact that without women men wouldn't be born in the first place.

My bowels positively manipulate food, creating energy + shit.
I have a lot of respect for my bowels (no irony, I <3 my guts), but noone else will respect ME as a person for the work my bowels do.

So women do not get gold stars for something their wombs do either.

No, one only gets respected on his/her OWN, PERSONAL acomplishments.

Jon Manc said...

"Without women men wouldn't be born in the first place. Without "positive manipulation" of the womb, none of us would be here. The womb manipulates the fetus un-(sub?)-consciously - just as majority of women affect men."

So what you're saying is, Sasha, you want to be respected for lying there with your legs open letting yourself be fucked by a dude, and then letting your unconscious reproductory organs do what they evolved to do - all without any dircet conscious input from you. And you want some respect for that? You think that's being pro-active? Grow the fuck up you dumb bitch. You're not coming anywhere near my nutsack.

Markku said...

Respect could be understood in two different ways.

-Are women valuable members for the human race, since it couldn't survive another generation without them? Yes.

-Should we treat them as if their reasoning skills, responsibility etc. were higher than the evidence warrants, because they bear children? No.

Anonymous said...

This totally explains why I feel the way I do about my wife.

I often try to explain to her that she's not like a woman. All I mean is that she is not like typical women. She is very self-reliant and more self-motivated than me and most people I know.

It is actually quite annoying. Maybe I'm just a giant child though...

Anonymous said...

Assuming this is the same Sasha who spews the same mangina crap at Rivelino and other blogs, it's a 'he' (or at least so it claims).

Wendy said...

Women can't manipulate the environment. It is beyond their capacity. Women's capacity is on par with that of children and they should be treated as such - treated with affection but not respect or equality.

The women in your life never will because you expect so little of them. Meanwhile, in the rest of the world, women can manipulate the environment. Maybe they don't, but they can.

Anonymous said...

The reason I respect the wife. Went to the local watering hole. Ended up drinking with a world record powerlifter. My bad. When I awoke this morning, her first question is did I hook up in my misguided state? Honest answer was no. Had a cougar coming on strong. If you talk about the wife and kids enough, it will drive off the most serious predator. No shit from the Mrs. I may be a dumbass, but she appreciates my priorities.

Anonymous said...

Am I being naive in saying marry a farm girl?

Pick and shovel for every girl old enough to drag them, I say!

Anonymous said...

The best bet. Old school girls are the way to go.

rycamor said...

Yes. At the very least, look for a woman who has some skill or interest that doesn't involve manipulating others or status-mongering. For example gardening, knitting, handcrafts of some sort, taking care of animals.

Actually, gardening is quite good girl game. There's something wholesome yet very sexy about a woman who can bring forth life from the land. Association with fertility and all that... It sure worked on me with the Mrs, although, she had all of the above-mentioned skills.

Lina G said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lina G said...

Why all men here comments on gardening or home chores? I know many great female doctors (better than some male doctors) and nurses, scientists, journalists, even presidents/prime ministers (two of the most economic important nations rulers are women now, Merkel and Rousseff), so I think also men clearly diminishes "female capacity" at first glance of :where/in which areas of life" can a woman be respected (doing house chores, caring of children, garden and small handicrafts).

I know men who are better gardeners than many women, and better parents than their female counterparts, so I think the "prejudice" runs somewhat in the workplace and in the mind of many men and women.

Greg Foster said...

"Respect" is fast losing it's place as a meaningful virtuous concept according to some current philosophy papers concerning respect as a meaning and concept. They relate:

Words like Respect, Pride and Honor are not virtues on the face of it and are not listed as one of the seven virtues anyway.

Consider the oft repeated "respect the title, if not the man?" You know what? No. That statement is illogical nonsense on the face of it. If the General, Policeman, President or whoever is forfeit, so is the title borne while held specific to that person.

A person is treated as they are acting on the cusp of the present. We live in continuous timeline of events, situations and factors that must be and are reacted to on the fly.

Which pretty much makes the word "respect" a pitiful limited abstract not worth the letters it contains. Rather, giving someone their just due, being unprejudiced or giving a person the benefit of the doubt are far more tangible and diligent concepts that should supplant the absolute crippled concept of the word "respect".

The word "respect" actually evolved from the concepts "in spite of" and "to be wise". Respect as a word certainly conjures the "in spite of" excuse to me. And why blanket someone with such a general absolute term?

"I deserve respect! We all are are deserving of respect even though you don't know us!" No, you don't. None of you do. I will practice benefit of the doubt free of prejudgement, but don't ask or tell me not to do my due diligence concerning you and anyone else. I have responsibilities to myself and my immediate family. I am not going to sacrifice my integrity, logic, self preservation of me and mine or personal moral code and ethics on the altar of political correctness, especially the political correctness of an often perverted corrupted society that is at best semi-functioning at this juncture.

Certainly I feel there is a place for such a words as Pride, Respect, Honor but not in the forefront of the humanities. Perhaps on a sign in a football locker or shield at an army base or police station.

The fifth Commandment "Honor thy mother and father" and reading white papers on child abuse and psychopathic sociopathic or narcissistic parents got me on the trail of words like Honor, Respect and Pride. If you are the victim of child abuse by your parent or parents, you know what? No.

Fortunately, the Commandment is not so limited. The Shepherd of the sect of which I am a member never says just the fifth Commandment as those few words so vague but fills them out, as is in the further texts, "as providing material and moral support in old age and in times of illness, loneliness, distress (or just generally as tolerated, desired or needed). This should be based on the son or daughter’s gratitude for the life, love and the effort given by the parents guidance and mentoring; motivated by the desire to pay them back in some measure."

Can you imagine chiseling that text out? So thus the truncated Commandment that I already wrote (above) is expounded on in further texts. Victims of abuse are able to reconcile the Commandment because of the last part of the long version that says "measure" and "gratitude". Therefore if the parent or parents are not deserving then certainly the in depth text allows such as righteous.

Anyway, I think I covered most bases concerning "respect".

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