Another concern for me is that I never really saw that "sparkle" in her eye for me. Maybe that sounds ridiculous, but I have seen that sparkle in many girls' eyes when interacting with me, and it almost always = sexual and romantic interest. And more concerningly, I have seen that sparkle in Sue's eyes for several other guys....I'm with Athol on this one and I would put it even more strongly. Ditch her and ditch her now. She's settling because he's just about finished med school and appears to be capable of keeping her in the style to which she would like to become accustomed. This is why it is pointless to convince a woman into a relationship; ultimately, she'd rather be in one with someone else.
The question I face now is: Cut my losses and move on, happy to escape a situation that probably won't work long term (due to lack of animal/primal attraction on her part)? Or, try to make this work, and continue to increase my social/sexual rank, knowing I've got a trustworthy and good girl, who's only real downfall is that she nearly certainly prefers more of an "asshole"/dominant guy than I am naturally?
As other commenters have pointed out, his value is only going to go up, not only relative to hers but to other women in general. So, he'd be compounding his mistake by permitting her to settle with an early investment in a higher status man whose status she won't value. It would be fine, in fact, perhaps even ideal if she was truly in love with him, but it is readily apparent that she isn't.
Move on. Look elsewhere. Be thankful and pleased that you figured this out on the right side of the marital ceremony. And don't forget, for highly educated men, there are now more girls on the girl tree than ever before. And then, of course, there is the small matter of the ultimatum. I think the doctor-to-be must have a mistaken conception of the term "sigma", because any genuine sigma would know there is only one correct response to an ultimatum and it begins with the letter "F". As in what she can go and do by herself, to herself.
To go ahead and marry a woman after being posed that sort of ultimatum wouldn't so much cement BETA status as marital bitch status. She could have asked nicely. She could have pleaded her case. She could have told him how important he was to her. But instead, she chose to run a power move on him. So, think about what that says concerning her probable approach to quotidian married life....
11 comments:
@: "But instead, she chose to run a power move on him."
________
One who chooses to run a power move before they have power is one who will dominate with power moves when they actually have the power of the state to back it up.
This is not someone who can be trusted. Not with decisions, not with money, not with the sexual commitment, not with children... and sure as hell not with the legal power to flee and fleece.
Don't just leave her but tell exactly why (and I hope he doesn't pull a "Because Athol told me so" reason either).
You'll be doing her a big favor if you do this.
One of the big problems with men these days is that we are afraid to be honest with women.
@swiftfoxmark2
The problem with that is it will tell her exactly what type of dog and pony show to put on until her legal hammer is set. This will only be useful if he never gives her another chance down the road.
I have an itch down there, and I'm thinking that perhaps it'll go away if I briefly put it on a red hot stove plate.
Thoughts?
Leave it to Markku to go directly to the heart of the matter and describe it in such a succinct and brutal manner. ; )
i just don't don't get how guys allow themselves to fall into this state of mind. seriously.
look, i love women, i do. and i love being in relationships. BUT...i'll NEVER sacrifice who and what i am to appease the woman. i'd be doing her a disservice by doing so.
@dannyfrom504 said...
i just don't don't get how guys allow themselves to fall into this state of mind. seriously.
___________
Men are taught falsehoods about women from cradle, through school, through disney, high school, media, and university, so a lot of women's behaviors are grossly misinterpreted.
Women are also taught falsehoods about themselves, which is a big reason why they often respond inappropriately to their feelings, urges, and nature.
Women are also taught falsehoods about themselves, which is a big reason why they often respond inappropriately to their feelings, urges, and nature.
It is incredibly confusing, and even a bit scary, to be told things are a certain way and then discover that what you find within yourself is completely different. Add the hamster to that and it goes badly.
I'm surprised he even let the relationship go on for as long as it did. From the description it sounds like it started off lukewarm and proceeded to be mediocre. If he wanted mediocre sex and no affection, why not just go bang random chicks?
The curse of a bad mindset.
"I'm surprised he even let the relationship go on for as long as it did. From the description it sounds like it started off lukewarm and proceeded to be mediocre."
He went in young, naive and with oneitis. He has begun to nibble on the red pill, but has yet to realize all of the implications, and is still suffering from a combination of one-sided oneitis and inertia.
...still suffering from a combination of one-sided oneitis and inertia.
Onertia is the worst. It is like cholera for the heart.
Post a Comment
NO ANONYMOUS COMMENTS.