The women spend hours online looking at pornography or looking for sex. Some fantasize about being sexual in public. Others cruise bars looking for anonymous encounters with strangers. Tolerance builds and things get boring, so the women have to engage in ever-riskier or more frequent behaviour to get the same "hit," or even just to feel normal.Before raising this behavior to the level of an addiction, it would be informative, I think, to learn how many of these sexually addicted women are a) married and have sex readily available to them, and b) having less sex than normal with their husbands despite their so-called addiction to the activity. I tend to doubt that the alcoholic wife refuses to drink with her husband or that the obese wife refuses to eat with him.
Little is known about the prevalence of sexual addiction in women, but psychologists say the phenomenon is real and only now getting the attention given men.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
The mystery deepens
Strange, how this "disease" seldom seems to strike women once they're married. We hear of married women becoming obese, and becoming alcoholics and pill junkies, but seldom, if ever, of women developing an insatiable hunger for marital sex.
24 comments:
Sounds like desparate badly-ageing women trying to find something they ain't gonna.
The only thing that makes absolutely no sense is that women aren't all sex addicts. I mean, a male orgasm is pretty intense, so I want to have one every day. But the female orgasm looks a hundred times more intense. The screaming, clawing, loss of control seems to be insanely amazing.
Ladies, you ever see that wave of confusion that washes over your man when you're "not in the mood"? Replace "I'm not in the mood" with "I really don't feel like having a mind shattering orgasm right now." once you understand how crazy you sound, you can start to see how crazy you've been all along.
Ghost, I'm told that the loss of control of female orgasm comes along with a loss of control. She's completely vulnerable and in a position that's inherently surrendered. I can understand not wanting to do that with someone you despise. I agree with you -- but this might help to explain.
Oh, and my wife is an active alcoholic but won't drink with me except in rare moderation.
Checking the link at the top, ("sex addicts fear intimacy") it sure seems like they're swapping love & intimacy for excitement.
And as time goes by, the women need more variety because they know their stock is plummeting.
So isn't this just slutting it up in greater volume? "Still looking for Daddy" as it were?
Anon
I agree. No matter how awesome my orgasms are, I wouldn't want to achieve one with my exwife. But women are less likely to masterbate, too. If I could reach that level of bliss on my own, I would never leave the house.
Ghost,
Women's orgasms may be better, but they are often much more difficult to achieve. It takes a huge amount of concentration and work. I think that may be why so many of us don't want them everyday. Add on top of that, biologically, we are not as horny as men (on average. We have FAR less testosterone) and there you go.
One of my penis envy things is that I would love to just be horny and not have to work up to it. Yes, at times, I am just horny, but nothing like a man.
I guess that's that base of my confusion. There are plenty of times where I'm not in the mood, an my wife says, "hey, wanna do it?" and like magic, I'm in the mood.
And if I can't get in the mood right away, I do things to get myself in the mood (foreplay). Aside from my wife, the women I've known let the mood be the determining factor, not willing to ever try to change the mood. If my wife isn't in the mood, but she sees that I am she'll start with some oral, and sure enough, she gets in the mood.
I think this is the sexual salvation men and women have been longing for. Men have to be more understanding of the seemingly illogical choice of "nah, I'd rather not have an orgasm right now" (which I think men have) and women have to put forth more effort to get in the "mood."
I think this is the sexual salvation men and women have been longing for. Men have to be more understanding of the seemingly illogical choice of "nah, I'd rather not have an orgasm right now" (which I think men have) and women have to put forth more effort to get in the "mood."
ABSOLUTELY.
Unfortunately, so many woman see it as "well, since he is the one who wants to have sex right now, then he should be the one to get me in the mood" or (and this was, at one time, my downfall as I bought into this lie) "It's just sex. It's not that important and why the hell is he making such a big deal about this?"
Women need to understand that it is not "just sex". It is so much more than that when one is married.
Slightly OT.
Wow, just WOW!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2085781/Its-brown-paper-bag-job--Saucy-Marks-amp-Spencer-calendar-sold-counter-staff-told-racy-show.html?ITO=1490
I am ashamed and horrified by my gender. Not because these are "real" women, but because they have no grace of dignity.
I believe my Grandmother would spit!
Carlotta
Vox, I don't necessarily agree.
I have a long lineage of "addicts" in my family and they USUALLY will do their "addiction" by themselves or find someone who is also an addict to do it with them.
For instance, have you even seen a bunch of women out to eat. EVERYONE eats like a bird. Even the fat ones. Fat women will eat like this at home in front of family too and sneak something late at night.
Just like most people don't park themselves in front of the family room computer to view porn.
Now this is ONLY where the "addiction" is viewed as wrong or sinful. It is much harder for fat people, because your sins are readily apparent for everyone to see and always there. That is why some people say they are just "real sized of fat proud" etc.
Porn addicts try to bring it into the marriage bed. Saying that it is just something fun.
Without the conviction of the Lord, MOST things that are wrong can be turned around to a right.
Women are built to need a sexual connection, but when you are banging everything and anything you do not get the emotional satisfaction along with the physical. So you crave more and more and more.
Like when you eat candy when you are hungry. But you want more and more because your body never got any nutrients.
On the other hand, I have made my own observations on married women. Many trade sexual satisfaction for other things (like food, alcohol or shopping) for a wide variety of reasons. Ranging from dealing with an abusive spouse to having no attraction to their spouse or the sex just being bad and not wanting to cheat on their spouse.
When sex is good between a couple, and I can only speak for myself here, the hunger may not be insatiable (because we are subject to stress and hormones) but it is pretty darn close.
Carlotta
That's one thing I'm glad I'm pretty good at; keeping the iron warm so it's easier to roar to life later.
I'm actually a bit shameless on dates and do things a lot of folks would call "inappopriate" to shock and tease. It keeps you amused and you can see its effects quickly.
A sneaky (or even un-sneaky) pinch here and there with no follow-up for hours works wonders. And if she jumps you before you're ready... well, you'll manage to deal with it, I imagine.
Ghost, women have brains that are multi-task oriented and are "on" almost always. Even when asleep. Men seem to have "task" oriented minds where they can compartmentalize things and deal with them one at a time.
Where a husband can get aroused and think of nothing else until satisfied, the wife can be aroused and still be stressed from doing something earlier AND listening for a sick kid AND trying to make sure the husband is not noticing AND not feeling well AND trying to remember her grocery list...etc.
It is actually work to clear all that away and sometimes it just simply cannot be done. A cost benefit analysis is done and sometimes we chose to just get things rolling instead of taking a shot at enjoying ourselves.
Sometimes no matter what, hormones just won't let it happen. A women just does not have it happen every single time. That is why sometimes your Wife isn't jumping for joy. You can make her do it more often if you approach it from the perspective of for her to enjoy you have to turn her mind off. There are many ways to do that :)
Understand, for many women sex is not always a winning proposition.
Kind of like making a huge meal, your favorite, but knowing that after you serve it you have to leave for the night. We do it anyway because we know that you will enjoy the meal even if we cannot.
It is just who we are. You are welcome LOL.
Carlotta
Indyguy,
And that works in a marriage as well because when my Husband acts like that it reminds me that even though right now I am covered in diapers and spit up food, to him I am a sexy girl.
Women are kind of bipolar like that. Mother/Wife. The Husband helps flip the switch sometimes when you are having a hard time doing it yourself.
Carlotta
Well, God willing, I'm sure HOPING to use that on a wife someday.
We'll see.
Stingray
Women's orgasms may be better, but they are often much more difficult to achieve. It takes a huge amount of concentration and work
If it takes huge amount of concentration from *you*, you are doing it wrong or rather going for a masculine version of a woman's orgasm.
Female orgasm is about letting go rather than concentration and is effortless in nature. It requires consciously not taking the road to familiar "hard work" orgasm and exploring alternative paths of pleasure.
If it takes huge amount of concentration from *you*,
Female orgasm is about letting go
I don't deny either of those things. I do not think that it is effortless for most of us. Might it be? I can't say either way to that. For me personally, it takes time and concentration to clear my head and let go.
You've got to read about this guy's problem. Dag and he's still with her....What do you think she is holding over him that keeps him around?
http://mywifeisasexaddict.blogspot.com/
Anon,
Maybe he's staying with her for the kids... Ya know, for the kids... like michael Jackson had a petting zoo... for the kids.
Addiction or not, I couldn't stay married to a woman who was constantly putting penises in her mouth.
Sex addiction is B.S. It's a way for sex addiction "experts" to cash in and a great get out of jail excuse for adulterers. You're designed to want to copulate as much as possible. Remember the first commandment (hint: it was given long before the decalogue).
--Caballarius
Because even women themselves have been taught falsehoods about their nature, they misinterpret their desires.
Women find affair sex particularly appealing because of the circumstances surrounding it. It's simply exciting on a level marriage is not likely be. But women misinterpret these feelings of excitement as either the quality of the relationship or a perceived shortcoming of their husband.
Comparing a marriage to an affair is like comparing mineral water to hard liquor... they provide two completely different things. Marriage use to work better because keeping it together was in the wife's best interest. Unfortunately, we've created a legal system in which women can extract the benefits of marriage from a dependable man while getting their excitement from some unreliable bastard... all the while blaming the husband for not providing her with something he would provide for her in a second, if she would only let him.
Read Michelle Langley's books on Women's Infidelity... they are really eye opening, and very fair to men.
Caballarius
That would be, be fruitful, multiply and replenish the Earth?
God's first instruction to humans was "make babies."
Fascinating.
You can make her do it more often if you approach it from the perspective of for her to enjoy you have to turn her mind off.
Veddy interestink! I've observed this. With my wife, I differentiate between the American Woman, whose objections and roadblocks need to be overcome, and the French Girl, who is waiting for me once we get the American Woman to quiet down and go distract herself somewhere in a back corner of her cranium. ;P
Dessert Cat, LOL. I hope I got you right. Yes, it is fun to get the good girl to go away for awhile so the bad girl can play :)
Carlotta
My life since marriage has been anything but easy, but having sex with my wife has never been an issue. She has often been the one to initiate in the past (something that I am turning around). I am away from her most of the week and some weekends as we transition to a new city and state, but we always have sex at least a couple of times when I am home. I couldn't conceive remaining in a marriage without passion, and part of that passion is sex.
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