The truth of the matter is that for the most part, women are fungible. Meaning one can be replaced with a different one and life can move on ahead much the same as it was. It's like, as you say, a restaurant where everything sucks, is easily replaceable with a restaurant that doesn't suck. What really makes one woman more special than another one is our feelings for her.One of the great lies of Western society is the "soulmate". It is especially ironic that so many men and women subscribe to the concept, given that many of them don't believe in the existence of the human soul. The greater success rate of arranged marriages puts the lie to the concept; the "love marriage" is actually a rather inefficient means of establishing lasting, loving marriages.
So if she's special only to you, but not really anyone else, then she's not really truly special. If you start thinking someone else is special, and your wife is no longer special, then she will very quickly become uncomfortable about what is happening.
The one angle where they aren't 100% fungible is that often they are the mothers of our children, and that complicates things as I'm sure you know.
For some reason, men seem to be much more aware of the fact that they can be replaced than women, perhaps because they are more accustomed to there being competitors for the favors of the women in whom they are interested. Women who feel they have the upper hand seldom behave magnanimously; one need only ask women who have worked for other women to confirm that. Therefore, it may behoove the average Beta, Delta, or Gamma to occasionally act in a manner that reminds his wife/girlfriend that she is not, contra what his normal behavior indicates, his only option. Alphas and Sigmas need not bother, as their women tend to be hyperaware that their men not only have options, but know they have options.
As for Omegas, well, if she's your only option, that's all right. She probably knows she doesn't have a lot of options either.
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One of the great lies of Western society is the "soulmate".
No, it's a great concept. I could, for example, argue that my soul has eternal youth.
So, what choice would I have than to switch regularly to a younger woman, to keep it matched? WOULD YOU DENY ME MY SOULMATE?!
Women also mature faster, or so I've heard. So, at least a couple of switches would be necessary for every man.
"As for Omegas, well, if she's your only option, that's all right. She probably knows she doesn't have a lot of options either.
This is why I read Vox.
"One of the great lies of Western society is the "soulmate". It is especially ironic that so many men and women subscribe to the concept, given that many of them don't believe in the existence of the human soul. The greater success rate of arranged marriages puts the lie to the concept; the "love marriage" is actually a rather inefficient means of establishing lasting, loving marriages."
Amen, its a common disconnect in American relationships sold to us via, media.
Dittos to Anon, this is why I read Vox's work!
Fantastically true; all of it. The hottest love I get from my LTR is when another girl calls just to 'chat.'
Her: "Who was that?"
Me: "Chick co-worker with some questions."
Her: "On a Saturday?"
Me: "I'm the answer-man... what you gonna do. (Shrug)
Territorial threat: Tingles ensue.
This is probably the thing I struggle with most...there is no One.
There are 3.5 BILLION women in the world. There will be other chances.
I can't seem to find many that interest me beyond the physical but I assume they are, in fact, out there.
DD
I think Tim Minchin pretty solidly captures this concept in his If I Didn't Have You song.
It's easy to say there are more girls on the tree when you can date anybody. It's much more difficult when, say, you're Christian trying to date Christian.
In the US, church girls tend to be fat. There's not much to choose from, most of the time. As for me, I moved to a country with less than 1% Christians, so there are even fewer girls around to choose from - though really, I decided to come here so I take full responsibility for that.
You can be the coolest guy in the world but if there are no girls (or at least, none meeting necessary criteria) around to date, each and every chance becomes vital, and much more is at stake if you fail.
It's easy to say there are more girls on the tree when you can date anybody. It's much more difficult when, say, you're Christian trying to date Christian.
In the US, church girls tend to be fat. There's not much to choose from, most of the time. As for me, I moved to a country with less than 1% Christians, so there are even fewer girls around to choose from - though really, I decided to come here so I take full responsibility for that.
You can be the coolest guy in the world but if there are no girls (or at least, none meeting necessary criteria) around to date, each and every chance becomes vital, and much more is at stake if you fail.
But surely every man must doubt the premise of this post now and again?
http://glo.msn.com/beauty/a-beautiful-mind-book-pick-from-the-catwalk-7548.gallery#!stackState=0__%2Fbeauty%2Fa-beautiful-mind-book-pick-from-the-catwalk-7548.gallery%3FphotoId%3D68166
Kyle,
Christian dude game (start at 2:00).
Seriously, I sympathize. The gears all turn against the committed Christian single guy these days. I went through that a couple decades ago and it is even worse now. And it didn't help that non-Christian girls seemed to find me more interesting than Christians.
Still, you must not operate from a position of desperation. "Oh Lord please let this one be the ONE" puts exactly the wrong stress on a relationship. You.must.not.care. Repeat that. If the girl is not willing to play by your rules, move on. In fact I would dare say better to have a non-Christian woman who will follow you than a Christian who won't. Still not ideal, but has a better chance of success.
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