It's not rocket science

A female commenter at Athol's place highlights why men should seldom pay any attention to female advice on dealing with women. In response to Athol's post on the problem some women have in getting their overly indoctrinated men to fuck them rather than make sweet, soft, and gentle love to them, the commenter recommended - I kid you not - "literal verbal consent". After all, that worked so very well for everyone at Antioch College.

"I would like to touch your breasts now. May I proceed?

Yes, you may."

Hot stuff!

I would suggest a slightly different approach! I believe in discussion, negotiation and literal verbal consent when trying something new within a relationship, especially with regard to sex. The negotiation itself can be fun!..mmm...you can't make someone into someone they are not. However, I believe most people would truly enjoy sex more if they could really let themselves go and men hold back so as not to hurt their partner, so perhaps that is the first place that I would start if I wanted more vigorous, passionate assertive sex.

Or you could simply tell him "fuck me HARDER" at the appropriate moment. Throw in a moan or two and you'll get what you're after. Nice guys who can still recall Sex and the City should recall that it was nice little Charlotte, not Samantha, who declared that sometimes a woman just wants to get pounded. All women have an inner slut to one degree or another, so really, the only decent thing is to oblige her on the occasions when she wants to let it out. Even if you're a man who genuinely doesn't go in for that sort of thing, take one for the team. You might even learn to enjoy it.

And women, keep in mind that the simple phrase "I want you to fuck me" is usually a more effective turn-on for men than any amount of lingerie, scented candles, and power ballads combined. If you don't believe me, just try it out. I realize that women tend to dislike such a direct form of communication, but does six simple words really seem more painful than hours of "discussion, negotiation and literal verbal consent"? Now, there is absolutely nothing wrong with a man and his wife making tender love to express the depth of their heartfelt love for each other. It's nice. It's lovely. It's even beautiful. The world is unquestionably a better place for it.

But it's no substitute for the sort of sex you can still feel the next day.