Thursday, June 30, 2011

Effortless appeal

I was sitting by myself near the side of the pool the other day, safely ensconced in shadows. Everyone in my party was otherwise occupied, sliding down the water slide or splashing about in the pool. Seeing I was apparently unaccompanied, a pretty little blonde wearing a red bikini approached me, drawn insensibly to my masculine presence. I nodded to her and she was so forward as to sit down next to me, before addressing me in French.

"Je sui desole, je ne parle pas francais", I apologized. She nodded, understanding, and was content to sit quietly at my side, occasionally stealing a glance from time to time. Spacebunny, with that primordial instinct to sense a rival that only women possess, suddenly appeared upon the amiable scene.

"So, who's your little friend?" she asked. Could that be jealousy in her voice? I paid it no mind. Had not my behavior been impeccable?

No doubt intimidated by Spacebunny's bikini-clad splendor, sculpted by hundreds of hours in the gym, the embarrassed little blonde mumbled something that may or may not have been an excuse and walked away. But no sooner had Spacebunny again taken her leave than my new friend was back once more, this time shyly offering a flower as a token of her regard. I accepted it with pleasure, patted the bench next to me, and she was pleased to join me.

I asked her if she spoke anglais, but she shook her head. The suggestion of italiano merely inspired a look of confusion, deutsch outright dismay. So, we merely sat there in silent communion for a while, until an older woman began calling her from the other side of the pool.

"Non, non," she protested, looking over at me in mute appeal. But the woman, glaring at me as if my intentions involved anything but quietly minding my own business, stalked over and grabbed her by the arm, pulling her away.

"Au revoir, mademoiselle," I called. She waved in return, her pretty face a mask of outrage and disappointment. I was not disappointed. I am, after all, a man well content with the woman with whom destiny has endowed me. And yet, I would not have been human had I not felt some regret at the departure of such a picturesque little blonde.

I will say, however, she was always a bit young for my tastes, being somewhere on the order of four decades my junior.

34 comments:

sg said...

Okay...now you're just showing off...haha. Way to go, man!

indyguy77@work said...

Goon.

Pablo said...

Well played, mon ami.
What is it with you and blondes?
Ha ha!

Wendy said...

Hehe, cute.

swiftfoxmark2 said...

One thing I've noticed about such female rivalry is that while there is jealousy on the part of the wife, she is also happy that her man can still attract such women.

Great example of how Game works while you are married Vox.

NateM said...

Heh, sorta saw the punchline coming there. I almost expected the post to start with 'sup /b/'

swiftfoxmark2 said...

Whoops, now I get the punchline

szook said...

So now we gotta call you Big Daddy Vox....

rycamor said...

Vox is not gaming the women here; he is gaming the men reading this. Note the push/pull, the setup and then the disqualifier. And all the male hearts went pitty-pat for a moment.

Houston said...

Perhaps Mother fiercely whispered, "Remember what happened to Clara Petacci!"

NateM said...

Wendy- somehow after reading VP for so long I have a hard time imagining VD being 'cute', I guess after seeing his verbal cruelty on a regular basis I always imagined him as an espresso sipping ogre of sorts. The image definitely brought a smile.

JCclimber said...

It's always fun to be the source of practice for the budding young ladies as they hone their seduction skills. And it is 100% right on about the wife somehow having radar? sonar? some way of knowing quickly that someone is trying to swim in her pool.

What is particularly telling about your situation is that your wife is self-confident enough to leave you alone initially, and after coming around and checking on the situation.

Anonymous said...

@JCclimber Not sure if you could tell but this young blonde Vox speaks of is probably in the 4-6 age range.

Giraffe said...

@JCclimber Not sure if you could tell but this young blonde Vox speaks of is probably in the 4-6 age range.,

Put her on the 15 year plan?

VD said...

What is it with you and blondes?

They like me. I like them. What more is there to say?

JACIII said...

Had a similar situation whilst MH camping with the family awhile back. Very talkative and bright eyed little girl followed me around the campsite as I went about preparing to grill the breakfast steaks. The kicker was when she asked, "Where's your Mommy?"

MrsJAC will never live it down.

maniac said...

You know, until now I didn't realize Vox had a sense of humor.

JCclimber said...

I caught that, and then forgot it later when I had time to post. Ha! The jokes on me.

I was initially thrown off by the description of her in a bikini, though. Not used to seeing most little girls in bikinis, they're usually in one pieces around here...

Kign A said...

Reads like a pedophile's inner monologue, punctuated by a half-hearted "J/K!!!" appended for purposes of CYA. Unless Vox is pushing sixty.

The post puts a reader in the mind of this recent (proposed and rejected) Kia ad:

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-xLvmaYo-t6Q/TgSOd1nA9NI/AAAAAAAACl8/0URIbfOQv98/s1600/KIA-SPORTAGE-AD.jpg
OR: http://tinyurl.com/3wo769g

I'm not too familiar with this scene, so the point may elude me. Women of all ages are subject to subliminal, childlike instinct when it comes to attraction. Yes. That may be what Vox was going for but, just like Kia's ad agency, the final effect is something creepier (and hopefully unintended).

Anonymous said...

Cute.

Aha but how to deal with real jealousy, when nothing has been done on your part other then just being yourself and girls want to talk with you and your wife gets mad at you for that. A proper response?

Daniel said...

This is as well-played, if not exactly as redemptive (how could it be, unless Vox has somehow become shellshocked after so many years of nuking the stupid?), as Salinger's For Esm̩ Рwith Love and Squalor.

Bravissimo!

Anonymous said...

Wow, Kign A, dude, projection much?

The fact that you could find anything creepy in that at all says a hell of a lot more about you than Vox.

VD said...

Reads like a pedophile's inner monologue, punctuated by a half-hearted "J/K!!!" appended for purposes of CYA.

Not in the slightest. Pedophiles are hunters. They are not indifferent nor are they usually approached out of the blue by children; they will stalk their prey for months, even years.

Also, pedophiles prefer to be around children rather than adults. I'm the exact opposite.

TheHubby said...

??? four decades ?

Stingray said...

JCclimber,

Regarding the kids in bikini's, you are lucky that the little ones in your area wear the one pieces. We frequent the pool and even the smallest toddlers wear bikinis. They are often not the cute, sporty two pieces that could be considered decent, but they are now made to look like a woman's. Some even going so far as string bikinis for babies through, well, teenagers. It's disturbing.

TheHubby said...

... nevermind.. need more coffee.

indyguy77@work said...

Anonymous said...
"Aha but how to deal with real jealousy, when nothing has been done on your part other then just being yourself and girls want to talk with you and your wife gets mad at you for that. A proper response?"

"Agree & Amplify".

She gets mad, you say "What can I do? I'm hot. That's why you love me."

Or (I used to use this one in my last relationship) you just don't care. She throws a hissy fit, you ignore her or, at the most, shrug in response.

Even if you're really getting annoyed or mad about her behaviour, you don't show any concern. She's the flighty emotional one, not you.

Anonymous said...

Thanks indyguy77, now to remember to actually do that and not immediately supplicate myself denying that I did anything wrong.

JCclimber said...

So absolutely true that Agree and Amplify works wonders.

My wife used to give me serious crap after many social gatherings because of female attention. When I'd defend myself, the hole just kept getting deeper and deeper, to the point requiring action to repair damaged friendships.

It's amusing now, but the agree and amplify was at first shocking to her, with the required immediate $hit tests to ensure that I was going to hold my attitude.

Now she sometimes plays along, live, when someone gives IOI. Not usually, but sometimes. What a difference a couple years of a change in my attitude can make. I'm back to my pre-marital attitude that originally attracted her to me.

Realmatt said...

I was mad as hell and that made me laugh thanks for posting.

Anonymous said...

Very funny, Vox.

- PORCUS

Joseph Dantes said...

" the agree and amplify was at first shocking to her, with the required immediate $hit tests to ensure that I was going to hold my attitude. "

JcClimber truly gets it. May your rewards be juicy.

Anonymous said...

"What a difference a couple years of a change in my attitude can make. I'm back to my pre-marital attitude that originally attracted her to me."

This is what I am almost at... thank you for the encouragement.

Unknown said...

Thank you for your very nice article, do not forget to read my articles also humor dewasa, status fb galau, status fb romantis, status fb lucu, kata kata cinta, kata kata cinta, kata kata bijak , Kata Kata Galau, kata kata indah, kata kata bijak, kata kata cinta, kata kata romantis, kata kata motivasi, status fb lucu, status fb romantis and many other interesting articles on my blog that.

Post a Comment

NO ANONYMOUS COMMENTS.