Wednesday, April 13, 2011

A intellectual exercise

Growing up in a polygamist society I have often wondered what it would game would look like in polygamy. By polygamy I do not mean a Roissian de facto polygamy, rather a de jure polygamy where sex outside the marriages is considered adultery. To what degree would the rules change, if they changed at all?

According to the Roissy's second commandment making a woman jealous is necessary to make her desire you. When a woman knows that her man is desired by other women it increases his value in her eyes. In a polygamist situation this is magnified. The husband has no need of flirting with other women he already has two women who are in competition for his attentions. If he is ALPHA his wives will want him more, but with an increased desire any attention that he pays to one wife will be considered by the other wives as attention not paid to them. This is a quick route to jealousy. The problem with jealousy, at least in the culture I was raised in, is that it is looked down upon. The women are expected to get along; to be unified. This presents an interesting dilemma.

In this video (at the 1:54 mark), the husband's solution is to apologize when his wives get jealous. After reading a great deal about game from the ALPHAS on the internet this seems to me to be the wrong answer. Why should he apologize when they feel he does not love them enough? It seems a show of strength, a la commandment fifteen, seems in order. In other words it is a shit-test; the woman who is complaining is worried about her position among the other wives and needs reassurance. On the other hand Athol Kay says that women need a balance of ALPHA and BETA traits in their husband to be happy in their marriage. It seems to me that projecting and ALPHA attitude towards one wife would make her feel reassured, but would it reduce her jealousy towards the other wives? Would it make the other wives jealous if they knew how he is with another wife, thus driving the wives apart? Would being ALPHA most of time (more than if he had only one wife) fulfill their emotional needs? Do they need BETA reassurance that he will not leave, or ALPHA reassurance that he is capable of taking care of them?

As an omega I really do not know. I suspect that it is better to err on the side of too much ALPHA rather than too little. Since I have no intention of pursuing polygamy (I have a hard enough time getting the attention of one let alone two or three) this is more of an intellectual exercise. What I really want to know is: what do the readers think?


zoegirl said...

1) No
2) Yes
3) No - though being alpha may inspire them to compete for his attention, the competition would leave them emotionally unfulfilled on many levels.
4)Neither - I suspect that most of a wife's focus would be on how the husband treats his other wives rather than specifically how he treats her.

Of course, I'm speaking from the point of view of my own expectations of marriage. I don't know what a woman who would accept a polygamous marriage would expect. Maybe it would have more to do with her relationship with the other wives than anything that the husband does. I can't imagine being anything but nasty to my husbands other wives nor can I imagine feeling as secure and intimate with him.

NateM said...

Seems like since relations outside marriage is considered adultery, it would sort of widen the gap between the haves and the have nots in terms of Game. Basically having the proof of pre selection would be the gold standard and it would be harder to fake that considering its a culture where relationship practically equals marriage.

YOHAMI said...

I had an harem for a while.

What worked the best was to pay zero attention to internal jealousy. A spank in the ass and a laugh.

Girls use jealousy and try to bring drama to create sides, they try to blindside each other, form alliances, complain about how little time or how much you fucked one girl instead of the other.

Pretty much like regular girl talk, but all about the same dude, which happens to be you.

Eventually I fell in love with some other girl, and the whole harem got upset and backstabbed me and ran a lot of stupid rumors.

So thats my 2 cents. Handle jealousy like anything else with kids.

Timothy Webster said...

Yeah. Treat jealousy in wives the same way you treat it in little children; don't tolerate it.

As Athol Kay and his like say, balance the alpha and beta. The pre-selection of HAVING more than one wife already makes you pretty alpha. Remember, if you are too alpha, women will wet their panties for you, but it makes for UNSTABLE relationships. Highly dynamic, dramatic relationships are exhausting for everyone, even though they are enjoyable. Like a drug high. Use just enough alpha to keep them around; use the beta to keep them calm, quiet, and productive.

And, the devil finds work for idle hands. Keep your wives BUSY! If they aren't breeding, birthing, or cooking, they better be running some home based business and paying their tithe to the household priest.

Religion has its uses; now that you've recovered a bit from the one you were in, I hope you'll be opened minded about it. That whole thing of re-assigning wives just SUCKS. No concept of life-long covenants.

I take it there was no real "bro code" in your birth society? And divorce wasn't allowed either?

Not allowing divorce totally skews things in the direction of women. Means you are stuck with her shit when she lets herself go.

Lurky the Loquacious said...

In the event of polygamy, you would not even get the attention of one. They would ignore the betas and below even more than they currently do, because permanence with an alpha would become a greater possibility.

In answer to your questions, polygamy was barred in the United States specifically because it typically results in women being treated like commodities and cattle (see Mormons, Muslims, etc.). Women may be drawn to this, but in the long term are usually dissatisfied with the me-first attitude of alphas. Maintaining 100% Alpha results in total dissatisfaction in the women (but why would he care anyway?), but showing any Beta would result in slow degradation of the power structure.

Athol Kay is right; women think they want pure Alpha, but actually want the mix. Such a mix is not feasible in polygamy because of jealousy in the wives and inconsistency in the husband.

Ah, the joys of living forever in fear of one's own wife.

indyguy77@work said...

I'm at a loss to understand why 100% Alpha "results in total dissatisfaction in the women".

I'd guess amplifying the hell out of the Alpha behavior would keep them in line just fine.

LP2021 Bank of LP Work in Progress said...

That is just it, you cannot fear her moods, feelings or her (stupid and emo) knee jerk responses.

Timothy Webster said...

Most men don't have the needed consistency and strength of character for polygamy. That is why throughout history, polygamists were always a minority. But they shouldn't be a persecuted minority; that punishes men, women and children and diminishes society.

zoegirl said...

@indyguy77 -

a woman's satisfaction <> her being in line.

Lurky the Loquacious said...

I'm at a loss to understand why 100% Alpha "results in total dissatisfaction in the women".

I'd guess amplifying the hell out of the Alpha behavior would keep them in line just fine.

"The beatings will continue until morale improves."

mmaier2112 said...

Attempts at humour aside, I'm still not seeing y'all's point.

Are we talking ALPHA or Alpha? Either way, I don't see how "herbish" behavior is going to keep a woman happy.

Unknown said...


Timothy Webster said...

@IndyGuy77, alpha and herbish behavior aren't mutually exclusive.

Christopher said...

My guess is that show is partly a propaganda effort, either intentionally or by accident, and so, in a bit of wishful thinking, the producers have the husband do some beta things that a polygamist would not likely do.

The Deuce said...


Seems like since relations outside marriage is considered adultery, it would sort of widen the gap between the haves and the have nots in terms of Game.

I was thinking the same thing. Seems to me that, in a polygamous society where relations outside the polygamous marriage are considered adultery, a core component of Game for the have-nots is figuring out ways to get away with killing a married man and taking his women. After all, monogamy, and the hope that every man has a chance for a woman, is part of the social contract that keeps men away from each others' throats. If one guy breaks the contract, he can hardly expect others to keep it with any justification.

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