Sunday, April 17, 2011

The inequity of divorce

How, one wonders, are men expected to continue marrying if they can be asset-stripped like this, even with the so-called protection of a prenuptual agreement?
He said: "This is how absurd it is: I have paid her $16 million, I am left with about $8.5 million, out of which I have to pay her another $5 million. So she'll get something like $21 million, and I am left with $3.5 million, and we never had children. People say "why didn't you have a pre-nup?" The answer is I did have a prenup but it had no legal force in the UK and to my astonishment, I found that it didn't have legal force in the United States either."
Now, obviously John Cleese has something wrong with him, as he hasn't ruled out marrying for a fourth time even after being stripped of more than four/fifths of his assets in his THIRD divorce. But it does demonstrate the complete absence of legal equality in the equalitarian system with which American men, and apparently English men as well, are now saddled.

I don't recommend marriage for any men but Christian men, and then only to a Christian woman. (Or, for that matter, between a man and woman who happen share another traditional religion with due regard for the family.) Unless a man has something besides momentary affection on his side providing an incentive to both parties to stay married, the odds are stacked unreasonably high against him. Even for Christian men and women, it is advisable to marry in a state that supports covenant marriage, such as Arizona, Arkansas, or Louisiana, since that will somewhat raise the bar for filing divorce.


Athol Kay: Married Man Sex Life said...

What was the $16 Million payment for?

Orville said...

Being forced to endure silly walks in the park.

Orville said...

It is shocking. I had no idea that prenups weren't bullet proof.

ox said...

The divorce rate among Christians is between 38% and 60% depending on the parameters of the demographic. That is very high in my estimation. Evening among the more conservative sects like Anabaptists the moral decline rears its ugly head. Whilst nowhere near secular levels it is still there and perhaps more painfully so. Khalepos kairos

Lunchmeat said...

If Cleese comes to your city with his one man show, I highly recommend it.

He starts it off by talking about how much he owes his ex-wife, in terms of funding third world armies.

His point is that in spite of it all, he still has his sense of humor. Which, if you know Monty Python, is pretty bleak. He talks about that too.

Cleese likes women. He's a classic alpha-creator with beta values, a leader of men who succumbs to women, and he'll keep getting raped and shouldering the burden like a good soldier. I love the guy, but that was clear through his show.

lunchmeat said...

@Athol, they based the payments on his royalties/income during the years they were together. He's involved in a huge amount of creative work, from video games to movies and TV.

TLM said...


I get worn out hearing the so-called Christian divorce rates blah, blah, blah. If self identification as Christian is the litmus test for claiming one is a Christian in a statistical model, then you have the perfect example of garbage in, garbage out. Committed Christian couples rarely divorce. Those that actually believe the words written in the Bible, not the ones who enjoy attending church by rote or for an emotional pick-me-up. I know from experience. Whenever asked prior to my own conversion, I'd always say I was a Christian without any clue as to knowing what that actually meant. It was just easier and more socially acceptable to self identify rather than admitting you're your own God.

ox said...

If you read my post you will see I selected a broad spectrum of demographic possibilities. Christian in name: 60% on average divorce rate.
Christian and active in church: 38% on average divorce rate.
I fear you haven't been around long enough.
I do vociferously disagree with you with regard to "committed, born again, praying, bible thumping, verse quoting, literally life sacrificing" Christians of various persuasions rarely divorcing. I have spent the better part of my adult life very actively involved in a pastoral role with what could be termed very conservative and committed Christians, both in churches and home church circles. I will go so far as to say that the singular most dread inflicting challenge to my faith has been the disheartening expression of marital infidelity in contemporary western and international Christianity. I am not referring to nominal Christians. That's a subjective perspective of course but statistics validate me. If you have had a better experience I'd like to hear about it.
I personally have been married 35+ years. I love my wife with great passion and sincerity. I can say unequivocally that I have prayed like Elijah and ruled my home uncompromisingly by the grace of God. It's not over yet. It has not been easy. I'm still running the race. If it has been otherwise with you then you have been greatly blessed.

TheDancingGamma said...

My ego can't handle being a Gamma. Can I be an honorary Omega? I want to be good at something, even if it is only being the worst at something. :-)

TLM said...


You're right, my tenure in Christianity is just shy of a decade so I haven't seen as much as you. 38% just seems too high, but there could be regional/social factors that affect that. I'm just not seeing it with dedicated "hardcore" Christian couples. But it is rampant among what I would call the churchianity crowd. These are the folks that get counted as Christians in those surveys which heavily skew the results to resemble those of the heathen.

ox said...

@TLM-off topic.
I have wrestled with the issue for a long time. Who are the believers? I always resort back to the parable of the good Samaritan. You will know them by their fruits.
But there is a side board to that. I also cleave to the saying that:

19 He shall not strive, nor cry; neither shall any man hear his voice in the streets.
20 A bruised reed shall he not break, and smoking flax shall he not quench, till he send forth judgment unto victory.
21 And in his name shall the Gentiles trust.

I am fully persuaded that it is not as black and white and we often suppose.

JCclimber said...

"London is no longer an English city which is why I love Bath," he said. "That's how they sold it for the Olympics, not as the capital of England but as the cosmopolitan city. I love being down in Bath because it feels like the England that I grew up in."

Hmmm, connection to the issues of his divorce? And how in hell does living in California qualify as being remotely like England? Or maybe he has a different standard while outside his homeland.

Country Lawyer said...

Orville said...

"It is shocking. I had no idea that prenups weren't bullet proof."

I don't know if that's sarcasm or not. I've seen a lot of men throw out the "just use a prenup" bit about marriage.

It is a false sense of security. If there's enough money to fight over, there's enough money for a lawyer to go after it and find a reason to shred it, and it happens all the time.

The idea that a premarriage contact should have any more strength legally than the actual marital contract that follows is obviously illogical on its face.


I am glad you responded to @TLM. I hate "No True Scotsman" arguments.

In reality there are very few "True Christians" in Western Society anymore. If you took an early christian through time and had hime observe the practices and lives of contemporary western Chistians he would be dismayed.

jer_the_bear said...


All too true sir. 1st and 2nd Century believers would be horrified at Constantine's monster and its offspring.

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