One of the contributing factors of me not being an alpha or sigma is my failure to understand, or even attempt to do, Maxim III: You shall make your mission, not your woman, your priority. Sure, there were things in my life that I wanted, and when I wanted them, I went after them. In looking back those times are the rare fifteen minute intermissions in my 30+ years of living.
Over the last few months I have been thinking more and more about the necessity of this subject. I have considered goals that I have, goals that I think I have, and the goals that I should have. This is a result of me reading countless blog entries on game and the following two books:
Four Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferris
The Law of Success (first 5 lessons) by Napoleon Hill
Napoleon Hill described my situation best:
“It is most appalling to know that ninety-five percent of the people of the world are drifting aimlessly through life, without the slightest conception of the work for which they are best fitted, and with no conception whatsoever of even the need of such a thing as a definite objective toward which to strive.”
- 1928 The Law of Success Lesson Two A DEFINITE CHIEF AIM
I was one of those 95 percent that Napoleon Hill discussed. I spent over a decade of my life as a sales weasel and as a result I have read many books, attended seminars, heard many a great speaker about creating goals, and pursuing them. I have always known what I do well or what I would kind of like to do, but never set a chief nor a definite aim. Many of the sales training seminars focused on setting goals in terms of monetary achievement, a new sailboat, fancy house, or a car that sparkles. None of those things turned my crank. I would put the dream boat picture on the fridge and then a few months later I would take it down because it was not driving me. In the same way, the PUA goal of bedding 10 women, then lather rinse repeat rings hollow to me, largely in part because of my “tent theory” of marriage.
If you are among the fortunate that you do have goals or aims, and even more fortunate that you have taken the time to write them down and review them on a daily basis, or if you are a natural at setting and chasing goals and have no need to write them down, good. If, however, you are part of the 95 percent who have no chief aim, then according to Roissy's Maxim III, it is no surprise that you do not do well with the ladies. The following equation explains it all:
(Man without Mission) + (Hot Chick with Hamster) = (Splitsville)
Because I am a typical hardworking delta, I have plenty of sick time available, so yesterday I called in sick to do nothing but develop a chief main aim. The phone call went something like this: “I am calling in because I am sick (mute button) of expending my energies pursuing someone else's goals.”
I have now typed up my Definite Chief Aim, signed it, dated it and posted it where I brush my teeth morning and night. It is posted where I will read it aloud to activate the self auto-suggestion mechanisms that work so well at training the human mind. I will share with you the last two sentences before my signature as they are significantly different than any goal setting exercise I have ever seen.
“Any woman who is fortunate enough to come into my life will be second to and cheerfully support these aims. I am free to change, modify, add to this goal as time goes on.”
So my question to you the reader is this; Do you have a Mission? Do you have a Chief Definite Aim? If not make time to develop one. Once you have a Mission consider the following equation:
If (Size of Womans Hamster) > (Strength of Man's Mission) Than (Man) + (Woman) = (Splitsville)
Women are wired to have the man lead, but Westernized women have been schooled to chase hamster dreams, therefore if the man is not leading then the relationship is doomed. I can point to three different and specific examples in my own failed marriage where I supported and encouraged my wife's dreams which were not pro-family. This is the opposite of what Vox discussed in his post on how to crush a woman's dreams and it bore the exact fruit that the theory of Game predicts.
Part of being an alpha male is having a driving goal or driving force in your life. That is the only way you will be able to lead your lady or have the back bone to overwhelmingly succeed her s-tests. Sure, you can synthesize the traits of an alpha for a while, (fake it till you make it), but ultimately you want to become a natural in leading your household. Develop and strengthen your mission or forever be a BETA.