I'm thinking about marrying a girl. She's open to being a housewife (kinda likes the idea), already wants to have lots of kids, and is intelligent. Agrees with me and my opposition to affirmative action and the like (hard enough to find another black person like that who won't fill my children's heads with black victimology nonsense). In short, she's about as close to perfect as I feel I could hope to get, except that she's not at all open to listening to any new ideas, such as homeschooling.This is not a hard question to answer, but it is perhaps a hard answer to hear. Never marry a woman who does not see sex as part of her marital duties, because she is a woman who does not believe a woman has any marital duties. Sex is the single most important aspect of a marriage, indeed, it can even be theologically argued that sex is marriage.
I have tried logical debate (yeah I know, but what else can I do), but she makes it personal. She says she will outright refuse to do it, even if she's a housewife. Also, she wants to get married soon and doesn't get why guys are so slow to want the same. I tried to explain to her my fears and where they came from: the fact that there essentially are no fathers now, just men who women allow these men to parent their children until they watch the wrong episode of Desparate Housewives or something.
I didn't put it like that, but I said that I am taking a massive risk by marrying and having children with her. And that I was afraid of having a sexless marriage. She doesn't see sex as a wifely duty. She didn't wanna hear it and simply shut down conversation. I tried to suggest getting a covenant marriage or just getting married in a church without a legal marriage, but I don't know if she'll go for it. What do you think I should do? Is there a better way I could've gone about things? I'd rather try to persuade her. It's so hard to find someone who has all those good qualities.
This woman is already telling LS that she will not accept him as the head of the household, will not put the academic interests of her children ahead of herself, and will only have sex with him when she happens to feel like it. I would be astonished if LS managed to stay married to her for four years, if he is sufficiently unwise as to propose to her.
I have no doubt that she has many good qualities. She is to be admired for them. But admiration and a lifetime commitment are two completely different things. Furthermore, as a black man who is both willing and able to marry, LS should be aware that he is in very high demand, being in relatively short supply.
In summary, if you think she's shutting down conversation with you now, imagine how she's going to behave once she begins to believe she is bullet-proof, as all women are prone to do once they possess the security of a ring backed up with the full force of the American family court system.