Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Alpha Mail: alpha-watching and hamster-wheeling

Sarah's Daughter busts a friend who was texting her while alpha-watching:
Jill: So I’m sitting at the pool with the kids, this teen
guy is talking to his buddies about how there weren’t any hot chicks at some place, then bragging about his muscle tone on his back. I’m thinking he’s what is wrong with female self esteem. I look up and he is NOTHING to look at, pimples and boney haha. God I’d love to be every insecure girls’ voice saying "sweetie, he’s really NOT all that." He’s bragging about sit ups and saying bad things about other
recruits. Lmao

Kari: I would burst his lil bubble!!!!

Jill: Still bragging! This guy is out of control and he can’t swim for shit though he is totally talking like he can. His buddies were laughing at him behind his back.

Jill: Its ok, a girls swim team just showed up, all business. They make him look like the chump he is. Girl power! Haha. I think he just joined the army, lmao, no wonder John is getting out, I would too after I saw this jackass joining.

Kari: Love the Douche Bags they let in! And most likely he’s an officer lmao!

Me: A kid with that kind of confidence will land himself a hottie. Girls love that, especially if he treats them a lil’ shitty and aloof. Tweaks her hamster a bit. Good on him. I'm also partial to an officer with confidence. Though a bit different than this kid, it never crosses his mind that he's not hot, no need to talk about it. The teen is a hoss in the works.

Jill: He was way past confidence, he was right into complete self denial and arrogance haha. But ya at that age most girls dig the jerk. Sad part was, I think he was too stuck on himself, I mean the boy couldn't talk enough about himself, I would really guess that he's the guy who does the air kiss to himself in the mirror hahaha. His buddies were stroking his ego to his face but as soon as he would clumsily go swim a lap, they would laugh at him and talk behind his back. I can only guess he’s a rich kid that people pretend to like. The swim team of leggy beauties didn't even give him a first look. He's that guy that only thinks you're a hot chick if you are into him. Turn him down and he's a total jerk. I watched him come out of the locker room to grab something and just started to laugh because he had that super smug look on his face with that grin like he’s thinking, ya you all want me lmao. I like confidence too, but man that kid was just wayyyyyy ahead of himself lol.

Me: Jill, he's called a "natural alpha male", the guys talking with him and then talking about him behind his back are what's known as beta males. Visualize parrot fish that feed off of the alpha, they maintain close contact with him because he always puts himself in the way of available women. He'd argue with you that it isn't arrogance, it's truth. The simple fact that you, a woman off the market, was paying attention gives credence to the magnetism of the natural alpha. When considering natural alphas (but not necessarily good looking) think Donald Trump, Ocho Cinco, Brett Favre, Bill Clinton, General Schwarzkopf...

Jill: Well I couldn’t not notice, he was standing in front of me, his buddies were almost standing on me. I know the alpha male stuff, I just thought it was funny. Also called peacocking minus the clothing of course.

Jill: You are right, though, I think after a while that fluff wears off. I definitely do not like arrogant alpha men as much as I like more intellectual quiet types. I’m a nerd girl lol. I admit, I'd love to see a hot woman just crush him a little and knock him down a peg.

Me: It’s rare when you see a natural, most guys are doing their best to emulate them. You are talking/behaving predictably having had one in your presence today. I'm seriously not trying to pick on you, but you are saying the exact things that all women say about Alphas. They hate them, however when in their "riding the carousel" years, they sleep with them.

Jill: I know haha, that’s what sucks about it! Its sad and true. When I was young I totally was drawn to the jerky alpha guys. Now if I were single I highly doubt I would be interested in a guy like him but at this age our needs are far surpassed as sexual ones. And lets face it when we are young we really don't have any other objective than to mate lol. Now though I find myself more interested in the nerdy guys, I enjoy having an intelligent conversation not one about how many sit ups a guy can do in a minute hahaha.

I thought I got my point across, no need to point out her lies of “I couldn’t not notice” considering she was watching him for quite some time. Nor her snowflaking.
The exchange is as amusing as it is informative. Sarah's Daughter is correct; despite being "off the market", her friend betrays an almost inappropriate obsession with the young man, in part because his natural assurance is at odds with his actual abilities. The desire to see him taken down a peg is closely related to the desire to have sex with him. It is indifference that is the opposite of desire, not critical fascination.

It also shows that the characteristic ALPHA ruthlessness with regards to women is entirely justified. Why shouldn't they treat women with contempt and cruelty when women who don't even know them are hoping to see them get emotionally crushed? And finally it shows how self-deluded women can be with regards to what happens to turn their own cranks. Jill asserts that she is a nerd girl who likes quiet intellectual types... but there were probably ten or more quiet intellectual types that she was ignoring while staring in rapt fascination at the grandstanding antics of the young alpha.

NB: It's also interesting to note that Jill has heard the term "peacocking", but quite clearly doesn't know what is is. The concept is related to how a man dresses and accessorizes, hence the term, not how he behaves.


Markku said...

What, Mr. Self-Confidence has moved abroad?

indyguy77@work said...

So making yourself so obnoxious as to be impossible to ignore is ALPHA?

The LP 999/Linda said...

Great post, it is a on-going matter of importance to break down female 'logic'. Eh, another reason why these kinda women make bad friends and turn into monsters as spouses.

Smesko said...

So one should be IRRATIONALLY self-confident? (according to the Game theory)

rottweiler said...

This little scene is what makes me very suspicious of Nate's idea that alpha's get their superiority/self confidence based upon reality. That's frequently not the case.

Vox said...

So making yourself so obnoxious as to be impossible to ignore is ALPHA?

Obviously. Hence Game Maxim XI: Be irrationally self-confident, as well as the Hot Chicks with Douchebags site.

Anonymous said...

Love and hate are closely related. If I can't instill love, I'll settle for hate.

Joseph Dantes said...

One thing I didn't understand until reading this post is that alphas live with a constant stream of shit, much of it indirect.

I think that reality is a key component of the alpha mindset.

indyguy77@work said...

If that's ALPHA, I'll just file that in the old brainpan and view their success with women as yet more proof that Satan truly runs this world.

indyguy77@work said...

Joseph Dantes: I don't buy it. Not in the least.

"Indirect shit"? Because no one likes them?

When everyone literally groans when you show up to gatherings, thinks you're a lowlife mooch and NEVER asks you to do stuff... you might stop to think "I'm an asshole".

True, you might be an asshole that bangs hot skanks. But you're still an asshole.

Joseph Dantes said...

You don't even know what I'm saying, Indy.

The LP 999/Linda said...

Those wheels turn and turn...

Alrenous said...

"Kari: I would burst his lil bubble!!!!"

That's actually what a shit-test initiation looks like, isn't it?

Following that, the point of strutting is to provoke shit tests - and then pass them. I would think. said...

Then enlighten us, please.

ridip said...

Actually there are those that are overconfident assholes who never get hot or even remotely hot women, those who are followed by no men and just rage at the world because they deserve all the happiness that others have. I'm thinking specifically of two brothers. One's a loud-mouthed gamma. The other is a frightening omega. They learned some of the behavior from their alpha father, but obviously never put it all together.

Yet I've witnessed people mistaking them for alphas based up initial cockiness. The one has managed to sleep with a handful of 3-6s in his life. The other routinely bangs 3s.

They are not Alphas!

ridip said...

The word is delusional. It too runs in their family.

SarahsDaughter said...

Would a loud-mouthed gamma or a frightening omega (teen soldier)be able to captivate a 30 something mom (of a daughter near his age) as well as this one did? Her own paternal discernment was trumped by something. It's not unlike any soldier out of basic to admire his new chiseled frame. And considering his clumsiness I highly doubt any of this behavior has been learned.

Nate said...

Yes. Because gammas always talk big when chicks aren't around.

Nate said...

i am inclined to question the kid's alphaness as well.

The fact that there is no mention of him approaching or being approached by the swim team suggests otherwise.

Mats said...


Jill asserts that she is a nerd girl who likes quiet intellectual types... but there were probably ten or more quiet intellectual types that she was ignoring while staring in rapt fascination at the grandstanding antics of the young alpha.


Interesting point which eluded me at first. You are right. Why wasn't she staring that the intelectual guys?

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Wondering Goym said...

Kid kinda sounds like a average-sized fish in a cramped pond. He could just be the squeakiest wheel out of a group of gammas/omegas/deltas. Especially if we're talking the recesses of a sheltered suburban/rural community. Just think Starscream's behavior in between Megatron and Galvatron.

The Deuce said...

Loved this part:

Now if I were single I highly doubt I would be interested in a guy like him but at this age our needs are far surpassed as sexual ones. And lets face it when we are young we really don't have any other objective than to mate lol.

Translation, for those who didn't get the implication: "Yup, I'm still turned on by jerks like this kid I'm watching, and I still have more desire to have sex with them than I do with my current boyfriend/husband, but my need to settle has overruled that for now."

Anonymous said...

kid doesn't seem alpha at all. Having girls making fun of you is not alpha. Trying too hard is not alpha. having others attracted to you without seeming to put any effort in is alpha.

SarahsDaughter said...

Except for girls weren't making fun of him, his beta followers were. More to the point, how succulent when a teenager has a grown woman blabbering on and on about him in this manner. Nothing wrong with the kid when you look at him through "mother of a teenage child" glasses. She could have easily started a conversation with him asking about when he graduated basic, what unit he's in now, what his MOS is, and congratulate him for his accomplishment. Most of her comments were about how she was painting him and very little about what he was actually doing. This whole exchange speaks more to the silliness of even married women than it does of whether he's alpha or not. Funny to me, though, as soon as someone attempts to identify an alpha, the sneering begins of how "he is not an alpha." That's been more amusing than the conversation I had with Jill.

Nate said...

Without interaction with females it is very difficult to ascertain alpha status.

It should be noted that gammas talk very very big when they are not around chicks.

That is why we're skeptical of your assertion SD.

SarahsDaughter said...

I see your point, but he was around girls, he was right in front of Jill and her daughters. So, you're saying that a gamma will create this kind of hate/love with a woman's psyche that a natural alpha will? I'll admit, I'm still learning the intricacies here but I would think a gamma's bragging would have elicited more of a motherly "isn't that cute" reaction of a much older woman, than a "I have to tell the world about this dude" reaction that makes her even contemplate her own sexuality should she be single.

NateM said...

For a perfect example of Alpha peacocking and being the center of attention one needs look no further than Arnold Schwarzenegger in Pumping Iron. He oozed the alpha mentality. Here was a guy who had this mentality of loving the attention of being the center of attention. Also he had what has been described here as the reality factor. He knew he was at the top of his game and was the pinnacle in the bodybuilding world. Clearly he never even thought to second guess himself in his actions and even when he made a faux pas, he pulled it off which such aplomb it still came off good for him. Basically where the boy in this story had the attitude and the attention getting right, he would be the nascent form of the true natural that Arnold was

Vox said...

Funny to me, though, as soon as someone attempts to identify an alpha, the sneering begins of how "he is not an alpha."

That's because gammas and deltas are always envious and the alphas are always obsessed with their own status. The former want to drag everyone down to their own frustrated level and the latter can't pass up any opportunity to declare "he no alpha, me alpha!"

Your instincts were correct. The fascinated reaction of your married friends to the young guy is very solid, if not necessarily conclusive, evidence.

Smesko said...

What makes this kind of guy an alpha, if he lacks the natural attributes that define one? Clearly, it cannot be just confidence... because there are numerous individuals out there with unwarranted confidence who are looked at with pity and contempt.

IndyGuy77 said...

Yeah, the more I think of it, the more I think of examples of males that thought that they were awesome without the agreement of the surrounding men OR women.

Being the object of ridicule is sometimes the simple result of being a clown.

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