Friday, February 17, 2017

Sports Illustrated Beached Whale edition


Would someone please roll that poor creature back into the ocean?

62 comments:

Kentucky Headhunter said...

So New Zealand didn't get all the whales back in the water?

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/australasia/whales-stranded-super-pod-new-zealand-stranded-beach-pilot-rescue-sea-a7574646.html

Stg58/Animal Mother said...

Dafuq

GAHCindy said...

Why did you DO that????

imgrody said...

Now if she was dating a fat dude, I would say you were being too harsh. But you just know that some some chump who's in halfway decent shape thinks she's the cats pajamas. Sometimes I wonder if we shouldn't be shaming men more than women... If men knew their own value, the women would have no choice but to acknowledge it as well.

Jon Dough said...

There's a big dilemma
About my big leg Emma
Oh-Aha...
Whoa-yeah...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGjdW3aOfAI

Mountain Man said...

Oh gross.
Sadly she has a halfway pretty face.

Mountain Man said...
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Mountain Man said...

This past week I was at the car dealership when this woman and her husband came in to have her car worked on. The woman's ass was nearly as wide as she was tall.. and she wasn't that short. She was driving a Prius. All I could think of was how that poor little car must groan every time her monstrous ass collides with that seat.
She was probably getting the springs reinforced for all I know.

beerme said...

Someone alert the Japanese before Greenpeace protects her!

Derrick Ruiz said...

Oh come on please she's not that big. And by the way for a moment I thought you were going to be posting about Kate Upton. I'd hit that shit in a minute and I'm not ashamed to say so. Course of an older cat in my 50 so maybe that has something to do with it but damn I'd hit it hard bro.

haus frau said...

Ya know I'm not skinny but I deeply resent this move to glorify obesity. As much as some women talk being "curvy" and beautiful even they know it's all lies. They all know they would wish themselves svelte and rail thin if they could but they can't. Thi. Takes a lot of self control and work especially as women age. They don't measure up and so are just trying to change criteria of beauty. It's shameless and patronizing. I deeply resent this type of pandering.

VFM #7634 said...

SI thinks there's a market for sea lion porn.

Course of an older cat in my 50 so maybe that has something to do with it but damn I'd hit it hard bro.

"Ruiz"... maybe it's because you're Latino.

I could still get it up for that, but it would definitely not be my first choice.

cheddarman said...

Moooo! Looks like a sea cow!

Tatooine Sharpshooters' Club said...

Willing to bet that everything coming out of her mouth is top grade boner deterrent: as needy as a trawler full of refugees, and just as bitter and resentful about that neediness.

Bob Loblaw said...

I could still get it up for that, but it would definitely not be my first choice.

That was my reaction. I'd hit that if closing time was approaching and I didn't have anything else going. She does have a pretty face, and she's way younger than me. Of course, there's a lot we can't see. If she's stacked it will kind of balance things out, otherwise... well, the bowling pin shape isn't a good look.

Michael Maier said...

I wonder if she's young enough to have her skin recover from losing all the blubber.

I do think she has a lovely face though. She'd be a possible 9 losing half her mass.

matthew thomas said...

for me a pretty face is 99% of what i look for, I would rather a size 18 with the face of an angel than an average looking size 8.

I'd rather have both but if I had to choose it would be a pretty face every time, not even a contest.

VFM #7634 said...

If she's stacked it will kind of balance things out, otherwise... well, the bowling pin shape isn't a good look.

@Bob Loblaw
I'm pretty sure that's Ashley Graham. Her overall figure (rack, dimensions, etc.) ain't much to write home about, and that's putting it kindly.

@matthew thomas
Being picky about the face and disregarding the body is, I suspect, a low-value or immature trait which leads to oneitis. Conversely, if multiple girls have bodies that excite you and at the same time you find something attractive about their faces in different ways, you're less likely to get an unhealthy fixation on a single girl.

Mountain Man said...

The theme song : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UKlO0hM-zMw

Mountain Man said...
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Mountain Man said...

Railing her from behind would be like riding a wave. Just slap that fat ass and let the tsunami do the work.

Jourdan said...

The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin'
That's what I said
The looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksand
Or, so I've read.

My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo
I love to sink her with my pink torpedo.

Big bottom
Big bottom
Talk about bum cakes
My gal's got 'em.
Big bottom
Drive me out of my mind.
How can I leave this.... behind?

Stg58/Animal Mother said...

Ashley Graham lost a shitload of weight and says she feels and looks great. No more fat acceptance.

Eric Mueller said...

"Would someone please roll that poor creature back into the ocean?"

That would require touching it. Eeeeeew! Let the tide do the work.

Didact said...

I do believe that they're actually gutting whale carcasses on the beaches nowadays to avoid them blowing up like balloons as they decompose.

In this one particular beached whale's case, though, the bloating appears to have set in already.

Joe A. said...

I'd bang, but she doesn't belong in SI, not that they have standards anymore or anything.

Mountain Man said...

She's also likes to burn the coal...so much she said " I do" :
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/07/11/19/360BF35800000578-3684977-image-m-157_1468261033764.jpg

Midnight Avenue J said...

Can't see what VD embedded, 404 error, but the recent SI promos have Hunter McGrady, not Ashley Graham.

VFM #7634 said...

@Mountain Man
Good grief, that just figures. Black men will do pretty much anything. I rather suspect that one facet of all this "plus-size" promotion is an attempt to appeal to the NAMs who, as we all know, are both far more forgiving of manatee-sized women and, unlike whites, are still fully willing to bathe in garbage culture.

Unknown said...

Too dark to be a beluga. Oh, the huge manatee.

Ned C. said...

I think they sometimes use dynamite on these. Results are mixed, though. The fragments tend to fly inland.

Ned C. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lord Nifty said...

God damn that's a big fat ass

Megamerc said...

One thing I've noticed with whale models I've had the misfortune of seeing is that even if they're put in the same pose as a girl with actual looks, they can never pull it off in the same way. If a pose is sexy, a whale in the pose looks awkward and contrived. If a pose is natural and relaxed, the whale looks strained and uncomfortable. If a pose is graceful, the whale makes it look like the proverbial bull in a china shop, etc.

The problem is most whales just aren't as flexible, aren't as physically able to hold more difficult poses, and so on. They make the best poses hard to look at even without taking their planetary mass into account. And that isn't all either. When a woman gets fat, her personality often grows with her size. There's a reason why there's so many negative character traits associated with obese women, and it's because the impression is magnified by the blubber. In modeling, the effect is the same--every negative aspect of the shoot will be magnified by each and every extra flesh barrel the model possesses.

Stephen Davenport said...

Shallowness is strong in this one..lol...

Diego said...

Sports Illustrated is for very feminine sexy slender supermodels not big girls. That being said I like big women and I think she's hot BUT she has zero business in Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. Guys like me that like looking at big women should just get an instagram. Don't force your fetish onto normies

Diego said...

Okay I just found out she is a coalburner. I disavow my previous comment. I was wrong. She's dead to me. I need to get over my thing for curvy women because too many burn the coal these days

Beowulf the Geat said...

Save our whales! Where is Greenpeace at.

Mountain Man said...

"I need to get over my thing for curvy women."

Dude- she's not curvy, she's fuckin fat

Gunnar Thalweg said...

Perfect caption.

Stephen Ward said...

@Diego she's black. How can she be a coalburner?

David The Good said...

No. Just no.

Durandel Almiras said...

Good Lord, no. What the heck is wrong with some of the above commentors above? You are either Omegas or come from a country of ugly fat women and thus have some seriously low standards. There is no amount of "the thirst" I could have to ever want to get it up to hit that. I'd puke first actually.

She'd be pretty if she lost a lot of the weight. She has a beautiful face under those chubby cheeks. But chub only looks good on babies, not babes.

No wonder we have a female vanity problem. Men of the West mostly lack standards on everything, including beauty.

Jew613 said...

Where's Captain Ahab?

pdwalker said...

I'm pretty sure she was attractive a hundred or so pounds ago.

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Weouro said...

They had to give her a neck epidural and prop her head up with a piece of driftwood to make this shot come together. Art.

Unknown said...

Stephen Ward, no she isn't black. She's from Nebraska with a German (from Russia) heritage.

But she is a mud shark, as her husband is obviously a "Groid!

VFM #7634 said...

Can't see what VD embedded, 404 error, but the recent SI promos have Hunter McGrady, not Ashley Graham.

@Midnight Avenue J
It shows up as a 404 on some platforms. But it's definitely Ashley Graham.

Out of morbid curiosity, I looked up Hunter McGrady. Wowsers. Definitely a groid magnet, possibly even more than Ashley Graham.

Jew613 said...

Its another effort by ugly women to try to change standards so they are considered hot. As well as the standard Feminine imperative to invade a male space.

Anchorman said...

That is the sexiest pose they could get out of her?

Bastiat's Ghost said...

You can roll that my direction Vox. I'd hit that like that fist of an angry god. The typical SI model is way the hell too skinny for my tastes.

APL said...

She's trussed up like a turkey because she'd be twice as large otherwise.

Daniel Kelley said...

So why doesn't someone like that just go for a walk everyday? How much effort does it take to be this size? How much eating? How much time slumped in front of the TV or computer when the sun is shining?

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Rex Little said...

OK, she's chunkier than most of us would prefer, but she doesn't have a triple chin or rolls of belly fat spilling over her waistband. (You can't tell those from the photo here, but I looked up others.) To me, that's a landwhale.

Peter Gasperini said...

OMG....seriously, I just vomited into my mouth a little bit...

Tarrou said...

Call out the villagers! We feast this day!

Tarrou said...

@ Rex Little, you have something of a point, it's more of an expectation shortfall. SI swimsuit is usually a dozen 10s and an 11. Now they're putting up chicks that guys like me would turn down. I can do better than that girl, and have. SI doesn't sell "chicks you'd shove toward your dumbest friend". They sell impossible fantasies. Not so much these days.

dc.sunsets said...

I guess SI is bending to the reality of pervasive obesity among women. Maybe it's a parallel to TV, movies & literature catering to imbeciles nowadays.

dc.sunsets said...

When I was young I picked a slim girl among the many available. She's still slim & more attractive than the fatty in the photo over 3 decades later.

I guess men's expectations are being warped by the dearth of slim, not-crazy women now available, such that a 5' 6" 170 pounder is deemed acceptable. Another win for the catshit crazy feminists.

A gal who is that fat in her prime will be 400 lbs at 50.

VFM #7634 said...

@dc.sunsets

I once dumped a girl after she casually mentioned getting a bit chubby and being "proud" of it, coupled with seeing a picture of her mom, who looked like an older version of her but was almost as wide as she was tall.

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