Monday, November 21, 2016

A hint for the holidays

Sarah-Jane Cunningham knew that her Facebook posts about the election were rubbing her family the wrong way, but she didn’t realize the posts would get her uninvited from Thanksgiving dinner.
The 19-year-old said her mother called a week before Thanksgiving and confronted her about the Facebook posts regarding President-elect Donald Trump.

“She asked me if I was going to be disrespectful to my family, and I told her that it could work either way, Cunningham said. "If the things I am saying are disrespectful to Trump supporters, the things they are saying are also disrespectful to me.”

Cunningham's response got her uninvited to her family’s Thanksgiving dinner in Maine. She said that while her mom later called and tried to make things right, it was too late and she plans to hang out with her two cats in Boston on Thanksgiving.

And she won’t be the only one whose political views earned them the a spot on the uninvited list at family Thanksgiving.

Look, this isn't that hard.

  1. If you're a woman, don't be a bitch about the election. For once in your life, stow it. Yes, you're unhappy about it. That doesn't mean everyone is.
  2. If you're a man, spare everyone the lectures. Don't bring up politics. Talk football. Talk family. Go watch the game if you must.
  3. If you bring it up, deal with it. The first person to bring up the subject is the very last one who should get upset over it.
  4. If you're the host and you know someone is likely to be a problem, shut them down fast and hard, whether they are just baiting someone else or are inclined to be aggressive.
  5. If necessary, promise everyone that they can have an active discussion of it after dessert. By then, everyone will be too stuffed to really care.

28 comments:

Ceerilan said...

Part of the recently ended political detente used to be "Don't ask about politics in polite company". Looks like the leftists have abrogated this rule alongside the "don't blame racism on all white people" rule, so now everyone close to these people has to know.

manuel hernandez said...

Same rule applies to religion. And I'm not just talking about the Christian vs Atheist paradigm. I'm talking about something even worse: the Christian vs Christian paradigm. Because nothing ruins family time more than the Catholic aunt going at it with the Pentecostal aunt over nonsense such as whether Mary worship is heretical. And btw, in my experience, it's usually the women that go at it, although from time to time, it's also the recently converted uncle who will join in the moral preaching, even if he just lusted after his cousin's hot wife.

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

she plans to hang out with her two cats in Boston on Thanksgiving

This stuff writes itself.

S. Misanthrope said...

I had work dinners all week last week, and the political talk was insufferable. One woman pivoted immediately from agreeing with me that it was rude to bring this stuff up to her own anti-Trump diatribe. She even later got angry with me for saying I knew back in the spring that he was going to win. It's literally my job to predict things, and she was mad at me for predicting accurately.

Some guy started talking about how "smart" Russia was the way they released the Podesta emails over several weeks. I laughed loudly before I realized he wasn't joking.

So...yeah, Thanksgiving will be interesting. I'm sure I can come up with plenty of excuses to duck back to the kitchen whenever certain topics come up.

Rex Little said...

Good thing my brothers and I all live in different states and won't be together on Thanksgiving. We all voted for different candidates, and the Clinton supporter has drunk the Trump=Hitler Kool-Aid. He's also the sort of atheist who's hostile to religion, and my other brother is an evangelical Christian.

Revelation Means Hope said...

At least I'm the one who last year started working on converting my entire family to Trump supporters. By spring time, they were the ones updating me on his latest exploits. Heh.

Now to keep the conversion to alt-right going forward....

liberranter said...

She asked me if I was going to be disrespectful to my family, and I told her that it could work either way, Cunningham said. "If the things I am saying are disrespectful to Trump supporters, the things they are saying are also disrespectful to me.”

That's what's called "a nasty, smart-mouthed, self-centered little cunt devoid of any 'home training.'"

I wouldn't want THAT at my Thanksgiving dinner table either, no matter what its politics.

Dexter said...

So if you are the only man at the table - and you are NOT the host - in a room full of clucking hens determined to vent their anger over the election outcome, you should... ?

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

Life is too short to put with shitty, negative family members.

Cut them out of your life.

modsquad said...

Dexter said...
So if you are the only man at the table - and you are NOT the host - in a room full of clucking hens determined to vent their anger over the election outcome, you should... ?

Have another piece of pie.

VFM #7634 said...

@modsquad

With a bunch of booze. Responsibly, of course.

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

So if you are the only man at the table - and you are NOT the host - in a room full of clucking hens determined to vent their anger over the election outcome, you should... ?

Instigate. Stir the pot.

liberranter said...

So if you are the only man at the table - and you are NOT the host - in a room full of clucking hens determined to vent their anger over the election outcome, you should... ?

... avoid attending Thanksgiving dinners like that altogether. If that's what passes for "family," there are worse things than dining by yourself. Better to adopt some other family (or let them adopt you).

liberranter said...

she plans to hang out with her two cats in Boston on Thanksgiving

Those poor cats!

Michael said...

Thanks... I just told my wife to remind me to tell my son to knock it off with his grandfather (phil is a liberal). Son, combat veteran....this is the greatest holiday before Christmas, Easter, July 4th

Mr.MantraMan said...

If you don't have a political statement that can be distilled down to a single sentence or two then don't engage in political discussion is my rule. Second rule if forced into a political discussion seek out the authority they use and discredit it, harshly if necessary. And in spirit of the blog author's work, rhetoric trumps dialectic with 95% of the people.

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Caedryn Stonelaw said...

I can tell you, any choice you make should be weighed against the positives of watching the game at home with beer and hitting on the waitress at Bob Evans. It's not the worst way to be thankful and respectful.

Boko Harambe said...

Mr. Harambe's list of things you never discuss at table:

A. Politics
B. Religion
C. How to raise your kids

We don't engage in discussion but my family sure loves to. We declined the invite this year and are having dinner at the homestead.

Boko Harambe said...

In any case, this is the sort of shunning and shaming that must happen.

Me. Cunningham is only 19. Perhaps there is time to turn her around. The right man could. I remember 19, same sense of entitlement and attitude. My parents ignored it, hoping it would go away. A little time to mature, the right man, and babies certainly brought me down to Earth but hard.

liberranter said...

Cunningham is only 19. Perhaps there is time to turn her around.

True, but unfortunately no man who would be "right man" material would ever want to deal with a contentious, entitled, attitudinoous little SJW harpy. She'd be a bruised and bloody pulp before she ever came close to being "turned around."

Liberranter's addendum to your (very sensible) list of dinner table discussion taboos:

If the only topic of conversation that you can muster up around the family dinner table at holiday time is politics, you either lead a very dull and purposeless life, or you have nothing of substance in common with your extended family.

SQT said...

Thank goodness everyone in my family voted for Trump.

Jon Dough said...

So if you are the only man at the table - and you are NOT the host - in a room full of clucking hens determined to vent their anger over the election outcome, you should...

Grab some pussy...

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

I no longer attend family holiday events and have not done for many years, for reasons you may imagine. I have a deplorable record at these gatherings.

For a while my Thanksgiving day ritual would entail running the local 5K/10K race in Dana Point, and then hanging out and drinking with a girlfriend and/or friends.

Aeoli Pera said...

Civil wars always split families.

Happy LP9 said...

Agreed, I opt to say nothing, cook, serve, host and send everyone home happy or arrive early help out and be happy. Since 2000 or so when asked I would just shift to football. I reply, "but I have only one topic I like, football" or I would predictably alternate from sports to; "or we can talk politics while you help me clean up." Everyone would laugh and I could enjoy the meal. After 2008 it was frown and since 2013 or so, we all parted ways. It just us genxers and mil'lens gathering. The Boomers Gotta Boomer and we dont like to be around them at all.

Dramas locally, HRC fans are really still upset. All I hear are feelings and fears nothing about economics or SCOTUS or the future. Some women really wanted HRC or Gary Johnson. WRE and should not be voting.

Happy LP9 said...

I never cared to explain to an HRC or McMullen or Johnson supporter why I voted Trump. I knew early on in family that I am surrounded by pple I did not care for to begin with but loved or prayed for despite their terrible political stances and overall gawd awful conversations. They adore goofs like Strickland, Kasich, etc..

The choice given or stated was either A or B. B is under FBI investigation and a pizzagater, A or DJT was the obvious choice no matter the outcome. MAGA

Undocumented Pharmacist said...

True, but unfortunately no man who would be "right man" material would ever want to deal with a contentious, entitled, attitudinoous little SJW harpy. She'd be a bruised and bloody pulp before she ever came close to being "turned around."

Co-signed. Why expend any effort on this girl? What's the return on investment here? Next.

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