Sunday, October 23, 2016

Apology accepted

Allen Ayler apologized and removed his "review" of SJWs Always Lie:
I apologize for my unprofessionalism. I was not necessarily approaching this like I typically do, since in my mind I wasn't "applying" for a job. Regardless, I should have kept my demeanor and offense in check. 
It's fine. Accepted. It happens. I hope, in the future, when someone offends him or upsets him, he'll be able to look back on this minor episode and use it as an object lesson to count to 10, or wait 48 hours, or do whatever is required to avoid taking a private disagreement public.
That being said, I will retain that I have zero interest in working with anyone who says, " If you can't deal with the fact that the big dogs on this project are insanely busy, you won't fit in. There simply isn't space for divas and egos on the team" to people trying to help. It's a completely asinine and hypocritical response, and was uncalled for. I am honest enough to admit my fault, yet all I hear is unaccountability and yet more insults from Vox. I can tell you, if you didn't insinuate I was a diva ego we would be square and I would never have popped off. I would have apologized for my pushy request for a response after getting ignored and dicked around for two weeks. 
As I said previously, Allen is obviously not psychologically suited to work in the high-trust, high-pressure, high-performance environment of the sort we have in the Vanilla Fork/Neapolitan Spoon project. That's fine. Most people aren't. It's an unusual and uniquely challenging project and there are probably plenty of other projects for which he is perfectly suitable. Not only do we not want him in the project, but he is absolutely right to not want to be a part of it. Not being a good fit should not be seen as a form of rejection, merely as a recognition of the obvious.

Allen, with all due respect, you are a bit of a diva. You expect to be treated a certain way, and when you are not treated that way, you blow a gasket and throw a fit. Most people simply don't do that. Now, maybe you're right and you don't deserve to be treated that way, or maybe you're not, but regardless, you would have been treated that way in the project and you would not have handled it well. I'm not about to change the way that I do things, because, whether you like it or not, it works for me and my various teams, all of which are extremely high-performance and not given to giving any consideration to anyone's feelings about anything.

I don't regret any of this, not even that you took the discussion public, because it was a very clear demonstration of the importance of psychological and socio-sexual fitness within a team project. And I'm glad to learn that you don't have anymore interest in working with us. It is MUCH better for everyone that this sort of incident took place before the project was relying upon you for anything. If nothing else, you avoided wasting your time and we avoided a future disruption. That's a win-win for both sides.
But let me dissect this a bit, you say an alpha just doesn't respond to gammas, and gammas just use baseless insults and never stop messaging looking for revenge, right? How does that differ from you posting my info so you can have your biased minions seek me out and attack me? Basically you are taking the weight of the gamma work off your shoulders and having every here do it for you. Gammas use baseless insults, but nearly everyone who simply disagrees with you, you call a gamma, yet that is not a baseless insult in and of itself? Everyone clearly sides with Vox here, yet I didn't open up the dialogue with insults.
Allen, you erroneously see my actions through the filter of your own gamma mindset. My "insults" are not baseless nor are they intended to insult you, I am not seeking any revenge upon you, I am not trying to hurt your feelings, and to be blunt, I don't give a damn. I didn't post your "info", most of which you had already posted publicly, and the remainder you twice gave me express permission to post, in order to have anyone seek you out and attack you. I posted it in order to give you a wake-up call in the hopes that it would cause you to realize what you were doing so you would stop doing it.

You're not the first person I have seen who has behaved in this way. You will not be the last. I know what I'm doing in this regard because I have over ten years of experience in dealing with it. And, if you'll notice, it worked, whereas simply ignoring you did not.

Gamma is not an insult per se. It is a clearly defined, clearly observable male behavioral identity. Nor do I call everyone who disagrees with me a gamma; men of all socio-sexual ranks disagree with me, many vociferously. The relevant fact of the matter here is that your pattern of behavior is familiar and predictable, because that is simply how gammas tend to react in certain situations. And the reason that it gets called out so often is because non-gammas don't behave in that way and therefore don't require being addressed in a similar manner.

Every gamma would do well to recall three things:
  • You don't get any say in how other people treat you. You can only control how you respond to it. People will judge YOU by that response, not the people to whom you are responding.
  • When angry or upset, keep your mouth shut until you cool down.
  • \When you screw up, stop digging. Just stop.
And just to be clear on the subject, my site traffic is currently running at a rate of 3.1 million pageviews per month, 452,374 of which are here.

25 comments:

Mr.MantraMan said...

Will the book be entitled "Kill Your Inner Gamma and Become a Success in Life?"

Gordon Freece said...

He didn't just give you permission to post the emails. He angrily and publicly demanded that you post them. It's amazing how he retcons his own behavior.



Matt said...

He just can't stop. Incredible!

Timmy3 said...

That's a mess. Another day at the office.

imgrody said...

I can't help but look at this through an r/K lens. You outgrouped him... Well... He outgrouped himself and you pointed it out. This is probably the only thing that could have registered for him. Anyone in the manosphere/Alt-right would have gotten red in the face writing the amount of butthurt garbage that he actually published.

My advice? Start a blog dude. It will force you to actually SEE whats going on inside your own head. As you take a few more beatings and have a few more terrifying realizations the underdeveloped part of your brain will start to grow strong and masculine. You will have something you've been missing up until now.

Your own humanity.

Robert What? said...

Vox, honestly I don't know how you find the time to do all of this: this blog, Vox Popoli blog, Castalia House, Infogalactic, etc. I get tired just thinking about it :) How many hours a night do you sleep, if you don't mind my asking?

IrishFarmer said...

I heard Vox was born in a mental institution, and only sleeps one hour a night.

malcolmthecynic said...

Not to mention the more obvious fact that you didn't call him a diva; you merely said that IF HE WAS a diva, he wouldn't fit in. Seeing as you did not reject him outright, you were at least giving him the chance to prove he wasn't a diva...a chance he did not take.

Culture War Draftee said...

I dunno about gamma, but anyone who blows a fuse because they don't get an e-mail regarding volunteering in the expected time-frame is not right for any organization. I've sent a few tart e-mails in my day (usually about poor customer service), but not to those I was supplicating, nor to those I was offering to HELP.

That guy's going to be a problem wherever he goes.

Ian said...

I. I my I, since my I. Regardless, I. That being said, I I, "you, you". I my, Vox yet I. I can tell you, you I we and I. I my. But me, you? How my so you your me me? Basically you your you. But nearly you, you Vox, yet I?

Take away the nouns and verbs, and what's left is a spurned romance. Vox could have been Allen's father figure, put his busy hands online, given Allen scraps of attention, until the end of time.

But didn't.

Also reads like Vox could have leaned in to kiss Allen at any point during that essay. Not that Allen is consciously gay, more that there's something disturbingly familiar about inter-hierarchical relating, at least in this post.

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

So much drama. It strikes me as being a very American episode.

Harsh said...

That's one of the most un-apologetic apologies I've ever seen...

ace said...

Imagine if this was his whole apology:

"I apologize for my lack of professionalism. I should have kept my demeanor and offense in check."

Fin. But we all know that would never happen.

Jew613 said...

Allen starts out so well, then spirals from an apology back into gamma and just goes on and on. Allen you were so close to a breakthrough here, so close. Try again this time just apologizing and acknowledging you were in the wrong.

Daniel said...

Allen, you are ALWAYS interviewing.

Matthew said...

This is just solipsism. When Vox doesn't respond to my emails, which happens often (even though I'm a key figure at Castalia House), I assume he's swamped. This is easy for me to do, because I know that I am not the center of the universe, and I have the ability to imagine what life must be like for other people.

I try to make sure my emails are important enough that I'm willing to resend them when needed. That's generally a good heuristic when corresponding with the superior in a relationship.

On the other side, many people have emailed me applying to do various tasks for Castalia. I'm swamped in my own way, and all of my correspondents have been gracious in putting up with my tardiness in responding. Thanks to you all.

hadley said...

I betcha ten-to-one he STILL won't be able to drop the issue. What he offered was not an expression of regret and (perhaps, possibly) an apology.

Instead his comments were conditional: "I guess I was a little bit strident and went a bit too far. But Vox, in all fairness, you have to admit that you were too."

His comments were an offer for you to return the favor, swap apologies, let him save some face and think of himself as your equal.

Kona Commuter said...

LOL at IrishFarmers Fight Club quote

David The Good said...

This type of behavior makes me cringe. The entitlement is palpable.

PLEASE RESPECT ME! YOU HAVE TO RESPECT ME!

Over-under on this guy being Millennial?

Daniel said...

David the Good, it is 100% certain he is a millenial. His palm crystal keeps blinking red-to-black.

Scott6584 said...

I have disagreed with Vox (and his minions, LOL) several times on his site. And I've been attacked for it. I forget what the actual post was (although I'm pretty sure it was about the disagreement I had about Trump vs. Cruz on Vox Populi), but at one point Vox Day warned me to back off.

Of course I backed off. The way I look at it is that this blog and Vox Day's other blog, and his various projects are "his house." And when you are in someone else's house, he gets to make the rules. Common courtesy calls for deferring to your host, even when you strenuously disagree with him, and those who support him.

Frankly, I don't buy into the notion that men can unequivocally be classified based on a couple of comments or a picture. I think most of us (even full blown Alphas) can have moments where we act like other types. And I don't think anyone is permanently in one type. But I don't get the impression that Vox Day believes that either, even if many of the minions on his sites believe they can unerringly classify someone based on who they vote for.

But the bottom line is that the behavior displayed by the Mr. Ayler was completely unacceptable. The right thing to do is apologize without reservation. The squirrelly way he proferred his apology is likewise execrable. Frankly, the guy doesn't know how to quit when he's behind.

Despite my disagreements with Vox Day, I have been educated by coming to his blogs, and I appreciate the contribution he's making to try to thwart the intentions of the left-wing totalitarians. The attempts to build a new web-based encyclopedia that is free of leftist control is laudable, and we ought to be 100% behind him. And his ability to publish daily assaults on the leftist because he doesn't have to risk his employment when doing so is a gift to the rest of us. Finally, his attention to this subject provides a short-cut for those of us who cannot focus on the projects he is undertaking.

Instead of being offended, Mr. Ayler should have been more cognizant of the tremendous service Vox Day is providing for the rest of us, and been more than willing to be patient. In my job, I deal with very busy people all the time, and although I am managing a lot of work, I keep in mind that others have their own priorities. I tend to get impatient with those who work with me who decide to get mad at a customer because the customer doesn't take more time to help us help them. The reality is that if people didn't have problems, none of us who make our money providing solutions would have jobs. The immaturity displayed by Mr. Ayler would get him fired if he worked for me. I simply don't have time for Prima Donnas who think they are "owed" a response from busy people, and take offense when others don't stop what they are doing to accommodate them.

Reading Mr. Ayler's string of communication, and even his feeble attempt at an apology, angers me. Show a little respect and appreciation for what Vox Day is doing. Seriously.

John Williams said...

Vox, honestly I don't know how you find the time to do all of this:...
High pressure, high performance. Like the roller action in a MG-42 where a grain of sand, something that could damage another weapon, is ground to a silicon lubricating dust, a non-compatible worker is coached on a number of life lessons which are shared here.

Vox's bio would be more complete if "brutally efficient" were in it, methinks.

lowercaseb said...

When you screw up, stop digging. Just stop.

These are words we all can learn from. I just put it into our "best practices" list for to-morrows stand-up.

rekrapt said...

I've really enjoyed reading about the SSH in the workplace and how you handle it. It is something that I would love to read more about... men vs. women, best practices, things like that. Maybe another book? :)

Mooga Booga said...

It baffles me that this person invested so much in being accepted as a volunteer. Maybe it makes perfect sense in the context of the industry (which I know nothing about). Is working as a volunteer on a project led by Vox the kind of item that could brighten up a resume?

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