I apologize for my unprofessionalism. I was not necessarily approaching this like I typically do, since in my mind I wasn't "applying" for a job. Regardless, I should have kept my demeanor and offense in check.It's fine. Accepted. It happens. I hope, in the future, when someone offends him or upsets him, he'll be able to look back on this minor episode and use it as an object lesson to count to 10, or wait 48 hours, or do whatever is required to avoid taking a private disagreement public.
That being said, I will retain that I have zero interest in working with anyone who says, " If you can't deal with the fact that the big dogs on this project are insanely busy, you won't fit in. There simply isn't space for divas and egos on the team" to people trying to help. It's a completely asinine and hypocritical response, and was uncalled for. I am honest enough to admit my fault, yet all I hear is unaccountability and yet more insults from Vox. I can tell you, if you didn't insinuate I was a diva ego we would be square and I would never have popped off. I would have apologized for my pushy request for a response after getting ignored and dicked around for two weeks.As I said previously, Allen is obviously not psychologically suited to work in the high-trust, high-pressure, high-performance environment of the sort we have in the Vanilla Fork/Neapolitan Spoon project. That's fine. Most people aren't. It's an unusual and uniquely challenging project and there are probably plenty of other projects for which he is perfectly suitable. Not only do we not want him in the project, but he is absolutely right to not want to be a part of it. Not being a good fit should not be seen as a form of rejection, merely as a recognition of the obvious.
Allen, with all due respect, you are a bit of a diva. You expect to be treated a certain way, and when you are not treated that way, you blow a gasket and throw a fit. Most people simply don't do that. Now, maybe you're right and you don't deserve to be treated that way, or maybe you're not, but regardless, you would have been treated that way in the project and you would not have handled it well. I'm not about to change the way that I do things, because, whether you like it or not, it works for me and my various teams, all of which are extremely high-performance and not given to giving any consideration to anyone's feelings about anything.
I don't regret any of this, not even that you took the discussion public, because it was a very clear demonstration of the importance of psychological and socio-sexual fitness within a team project. And I'm glad to learn that you don't have anymore interest in working with us. It is MUCH better for everyone that this sort of incident took place before the project was relying upon you for anything. If nothing else, you avoided wasting your time and we avoided a future disruption. That's a win-win for both sides.
But let me dissect this a bit, you say an alpha just doesn't respond to gammas, and gammas just use baseless insults and never stop messaging looking for revenge, right? How does that differ from you posting my info so you can have your biased minions seek me out and attack me? Basically you are taking the weight of the gamma work off your shoulders and having every here do it for you. Gammas use baseless insults, but nearly everyone who simply disagrees with you, you call a gamma, yet that is not a baseless insult in and of itself? Everyone clearly sides with Vox here, yet I didn't open up the dialogue with insults.Allen, you erroneously see my actions through the filter of your own gamma mindset. My "insults" are not baseless nor are they intended to insult you, I am not seeking any revenge upon you, I am not trying to hurt your feelings, and to be blunt, I don't give a damn. I didn't post your "info", most of which you had already posted publicly, and the remainder you twice gave me express permission to post, in order to have anyone seek you out and attack you. I posted it in order to give you a wake-up call in the hopes that it would cause you to realize what you were doing so you would stop doing it.
You're not the first person I have seen who has behaved in this way. You will not be the last. I know what I'm doing in this regard because I have over ten years of experience in dealing with it. And, if you'll notice, it worked, whereas simply ignoring you did not.
Gamma is not an insult per se. It is a clearly defined, clearly observable male behavioral identity. Nor do I call everyone who disagrees with me a gamma; men of all socio-sexual ranks disagree with me, many vociferously. The relevant fact of the matter here is that your pattern of behavior is familiar and predictable, because that is simply how gammas tend to react in certain situations. And the reason that it gets called out so often is because non-gammas don't behave in that way and therefore don't require being addressed in a similar manner.
Every gamma would do well to recall three things:
- You don't get any say in how other people treat you. You can only control how you respond to it. People will judge YOU by that response, not the people to whom you are responding.
- When angry or upset, keep your mouth shut until you cool down.
- \When you screw up, stop digging. Just stop.
And just to be clear on the subject, my site traffic is currently running at a rate of 3.1 million pageviews per month, 452,374 of which are here.