Wednesday, May 11, 2016

The urge to apologize

A few days ago, Scott Adams was talking about how Trump could fix a nonexistent problem with women by apologizing, which would somehow cleverly bait Hillary Clinton into having to force Bill Clinton to apologize, which she wouldn't, which would just prove that she was a hypocrite.

Or something like that, anyhow. To be honest, I quit paying attention not long after reading "Trump" and "apologize". It reminded me of how, after the Megyn Kelly affair, Michael Medved was going on and on about how it would be a brilliant move for Trump to "break protocol" and present Kelly with flowers on stage.

Trump, of course, did nothing of the sort, and instead blew off the debate entirely. He then proceeded to blow the doors off the rest of the Republican competition.

Now, Medved is an idiot, but Adams isn't, so what accounts for the similarity in their goto fixit strategies? I suspect the answer is similar socio-sexual rank; the Gamma always feels the urge to seek emotional relief from women through apologizing to them.

I asked Delta Man, who is a recovering ex-Gamma, about this, and he said that  Gammas constantly want to reconcile with everyone to a fault, and that it's a sort of martyrdom when the pressure gets too great. The risk of failure and loss starts to look attractive in comparison with bearing the emotional pressure.

I don't know about that. But what I do know is that apologizing for something for you you feel no genuine contrition, apologizing for strategic reasons, or in order to relieve pressure on you, is not something that any man should do.

If it's not broken, don't try to fix it. You may break something else.

33 comments:

Tom Roberts said...

Mental.Point.Of.Origin. Own it.

modsquad said...

Adams is guilty of over thinking, and guilty of believing that the codes men subscribe to can be transferred. Hillary would take any Trump apology as a white flag and would lord it over him until her death. Never would she consider that the principles behind the apology should apply to her or Bill. Hypocrisy is a quality women do not understand or recognize within themselves. It's like asking a man to give birth to a child.

There's a great line in the movie Kingdom of Heaven… "Speak the truth always, even if it leads to your death." If every man took that to heart, Hillary would never have had a political career let alone be in a position where it's suggested that others should apologize to her.

Desiderius said...

There may be a time or a place where women are not disgusted by apologies from men.

Not this time. Not this place.

One can speculate as to the reasons, but the reality is now beyond serious doubt. Recognizing it transformed my life - professionally and personally.

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

Never explain, never apologize. Screw 'em and keep going.

VFM #7634 said...

Just like with SJW attacks. Gammas are, I imagine, more vulnerable to them than any other rank.

I also suspect that the vast majority of non-SJW Gammas are cucks of one kind or another.

Al From Bay Shore said...

There was more to the apology than what you've listed. In fact, I didn't see it as an apology. I wish I had the actual text of this "apology" because it is worth reading.

Dexter said...

Given Trump’s reputation for not apologizing, he can create an unusual amount of attention if he ever breaks pattern. A sincere Trump apology – about anything – would control the news cycle for a week.

Meh. Trump has proven time and again that he can control the news cycle whenever he wants WITHOUT apologizing. Indeed, usually by doing the opposite - i.e., by saying something outrageous that provokes a storm of demands that he apologize.

Ron said...

I think the word that describes this is "integrity".

Unknown said...

I read this article by Scott a few days ago and had the exact same reaction. I've agreed with most of what he has written to date, but this just seemed so ignorant and unlike Scott. But alas, Trump will, rightly, not apologize and so I just "moved along, nothing to see here".

Stg58/Animal Mother said...

WHY NOT STAND OUTSIDE HILLARY'S WINDOW HOLDING A BOOM BOX PLAYING "APOLOGIZE" BY ONE REPUBLIC.

Anchorman said...

What use does the apology actually serve?

It's not atoning. It's not justice. It doesn't really right any wrong.

I can't recall when Christ ever instructed the disciples to apologize. We express contrition toward God, because all sin offends God and He is out Lord and Master.

Does an apology only serve to re-order who is the lord and who is the servant?

RobertT said...

Medved. So last decade.

Crowhill said...

There was more to that Scott Adams post. I don't pretend to know what is the best choice in this case, but for the readers, here's a summary of Adams' post ...

+ by apologizing, Trump breaks his habit and gets attention
+ Trump frames the apology as only to women (even though he insults men and women)
+ this sets up an opportunity to challenge Hillary to do the same -- i.e., apologize to the women she attacked to protect Bill
+ this creates a contrast. Trump only offends with words, but Hillary offends with actions.
+ the media would pursue this, because they love apologies.

He then goes on to say that he's not advocating that Trump apologize. He's just viewing the strategy implications.

BCD said...

Years back, Adams wrote a post about decision-making under different emotional states, and how stress reduces our ability to resist others' viewpoints. As an example, he suggested it would be better to ask a girl out when she was stressed from studying for exams. This struck me as so absurd and fundamentally misunderstanding of female thinking that I stopped reading him for years, up until he started publishing his excellent series on Trump.

Adams can be on point when describing psychologies more-or-less like his, but completely whiffs it when he has to imagine people who think differently.

Jokah Macpherson said...

Has anyone ever tried an "apology (reverse) opener". It surprises me the number of cute girls who will fall over themselves to apologize to me just for accidentally bumping into me in a crowded space or something equally benign...at which point they have not only initiated a conversation but have put themselves in a position of needing my approval.

Forbes said...

The public apology never works to your benefit. People demand it because they want to bring you down--not because anything you say (the apology) will mollify the prior verbal infelicity. And the apology will never be sufficient--there will be demands for more, on various, sundry, and related issues. E.g. beta men will demand apologies for demeaning 'their' women.

The reality is Hillary (and Dems) pay no price for hypocrisy (or double-standards), so the gambit (Trump apology reveals Hillary hypocrisy) fails.

Adams analysis/observations are usually good because he looks past the surface of the moment. In this instance, he assumes there is a mirror (reciprocal) relationship between Trump and Hillary--a huge misnomer.

Matamoros said...

Most men apologize because our mommies taught us to do so as good, civilized boys/men.

Unfortunately, when dealing with SJWs that advice is backasswards. Trump is a good role model in this - NEVER apologize, for anything. If necessary make amends at a later point, but don't apologize.

insanitybytes22 said...

Actually Vox Day, your own inability to apologize and admit you are wrong is exceedingly gamma like. As is your fear of anyone who disagrees with you. And no doubt it is your precise kind of stupidity that is going to eventually deliver us Mama Hillary.

Verne said...

I would never call Medved an idiot. But that advice was idiotic

Jew613 said...

insanitybytes is back, and as boring as ever.

Desiderius said...

Anchorman,

"Does an apology only serve to re-order who is the lord and who is the servant?"

Public, corporate confession is an integral part of Reformed worship. It performs the (currently much needed) function of facilitating an environment of self-awareness, mutual trust, and humility before God and neighbor.

As a teacher, I'll often ask for a "wrong answer" if I'm in a classroom environment where the students are afraid to participate (lest they give a wrong answer and look stupid). The smart kid will eventually give a right answer, then I'll pretend to to get on him for not following my instructions. That's breaks the ice, and then the students are less afraid to offer suggestions, allowing real learning to happen.

A similar thing happens when corporate confession is done well.

The current distaste for apologies is a reaction to it being done poorly (foremost, without God).

Michael Maier said...

Oh great... I didn't have any tiresome twat ramblings today. NOW we have that.

Michael Maier said...

I have a sudden urge to write a song titled "Lying Syphilitic Whores" .... for no reason at all.

insanitybytes22 said...

Poor Mikey, such a scared little boy.

Tom K. said...

I have no idea if it's relevant, but Adams did graduate from U.C. Berkeley aka Beijing West. So it's possible he has all kinds of leftist/Marxist feeling and ideas about the value of public self-criticism during "struggle sessions" and so forth.

Once you buy into the frame it is very enticing.

But for sociopaths like Bill and Hillary? Never.

bob k. mando said...

your own inability to apologize and admit you are wrong is exceedingly gamma like.

... always projects.

??? always projects.

oh, if only i could remember how that is supposed to go.

Sir Thermite said...

Lol..yeah, because the "I'll apologize first for upsetting you, now don't you owe an even bigger apology for your worse behavior?" gambit works so well on women and SJWs. Trump wasn't born yesterday, in fact he's only a month away from hitting the Biblical "threescore and ten" (Psalm 90:10)

Sir Thermite said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said...

Jesus, why is this country so fixated with apologies? Trump should whip out his dick and invite everybody to suck it.

Michael Maier said...

Vox, is it still forbidden to respond directly to this twit?

liberranter said...

Vox, is it still forbidden to respond directly to this twit?

Don't feed the troll. It will only stick around longer and lay bigger, progressively more vile-smelling turds if you do.

Laguna Beach Fogey said...

"U.C. Berkeley aka Beijing West"

This title could also be shared by University of California at Irvine (UCI). You goys would not believe the hordes of Mongols and Moors infesting the campus.

Scott C said...

The lesson is that if you give unscrupulous people an inch they'll take a mile. The media is out to destroy Trump. Trump knows that if he had apologized to Kelly, that would have given the media carte blanche to make all sorts of false insinuations about Trump. Apologize to people who deserve an apology, don't apology to people who are trying to put you on the defensive.

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