Thursday, February 18, 2016

The past is a foreign country

Why so many men get terrible advice from their fathers:
A lot of young men today lack role models. Even the shrinking proportion of men with fathers in their lives sometimes witness bad examples or receive poor advice: be yourself, it will just happen, one day a girl will like you as much as you like her, etc. Sometimes the father is silent and forlorn while the mother poisons her son with this garbage.

Why do so many of our fathers have so little sensible advice for us on the issue of love and relationships? The answer isn’t that our fathers, if present, have been emasculated (though they may have been). It isn’t that they are terrified of standing up to their wives (thought that might be a factor). It isn’t that they are fools, nor are they trying to turn us all into forty-year-old virgins who will not burden them with grandchild babysitting duties.

The reason the baby boomer generation has so little to offer us is much simpler: they lack salient life experience. How is it, you might ask, that a man in his fifties or sixties could lack life experience? If he has nothing else, surely he has that. He does, but it is not our life experience. He lived in the past—a foreign country.
This is a tremendously perspicacious article by Nikolai Vladivostok. It reminds me of my father's inability to usefully advise me when I was being regularly picked on in junior high. He would always tell me the story about how he'd had a problem with a big, ugly galoot who was jealous of him and would call him names.

Finally, one day, my Dad agreed with the guy instead of arguing with him, and as a result, they ended up becoming friends.

I didn't bother pointing out that you can't agree with the guy shoving you into a locker, knocking you down, or kicking you in the side and breaking your ribs. Because what my father clearly didn't understand was that the situations were different, and therefore his solution didn't apply to my problem.

The problem was soluble. I was only being picked on by boys who were low in socio-sexual rank who were attempting to prevent themselves from falling into the picked-on category themselves. So, all that was necessary was to make myself a harder target than the next guy. (I was an obvious target due to the fact that I was the youngest and smallest kid in the grade.)

So, I broke the ribs of the next kid who shoved me into a locker, face-planted and bloodied the nose of the next kid who tried to knock me down in the hallway, and broke the nose of the next kid who spit at one of my friends. And just like that, no one picked on me anymore.

And for all that his advice was useless, my Dad backed me up when the school called to complain about my problematic behavior. He told them that I was not the problem and they should be speaking with the parents of the boys who attacked me instead of him.

The past is the past. The present is the present. Deal with today's problems using today's solutions. And if your father is clueless about today's problems, don't be upset or annoyed with him, just be grateful that he wants to help you, even if he can't.

53 comments:

Dexter said...

Sounds like you didn't give your dad the information he needed to advise you.

If you had said, "kids are shoving me into a locker and knocking me down", wouldn't he have said "hit back twice as hard in order to deter future aggression"?

Your dad wants to help you... but you have to help him help you.

Anchorman said...

Not sure you got the point, Dex.

To go back to the original point, when I explain to my non-Boomer father about how the Narrative broke down, he sees it.

Of course, he "sees it" after three of his sons were frivorced and a daughter blew up her family to live out her twenties she "swuandered" by raising a family and being a wife.

A guy in his twenties or thirties gets almost no traction when discussing BP/RP with a 60 year old guy who feels the subtle sting, may even know "something" is in the background, but can't put his finger on it. So, rather than challenge decades of personal, anecdotal evidence, he trots out the advice her was given and maybe juices it up a bit.

My dad is a great man. An old school Delta who raised a big family and is trying to enjoy retirement.

He raised me with his philosophy that women culture and civilize men.

Only after seeing marriage after marriage to men he raised - men he knew he raised "right" - and his daughter tearing apart her marriage - a daughter he raised "right" - was he able to see the wreckage of feminism.

I wouldn't call him RP. He doesn't invest the mental energy in socio-sexual relations. He's in grandpa mode.

It's a hell of a thing to raise a family "right" and see the effect of culture gradually overwhelm family instruction.

Food for thought for RP parents. The instruction/reinforcement can never end.

liberranter said...

So true, and on so many levels. I look back at my own father and realize that, even worse than giving me bad advice was the fact that he often gave me no advice at all, even in areas at which he was an expert and in which his advice could have had a transformative impact on my life.

I've often wondered how common this is, and if some fathers don't perhaps see their sons as adversaries rather than heirs.

VD said...

If you had said, "kids are shoving me into a locker and knocking me down", wouldn't he have said "hit back twice as hard in order to deter future aggression"?

I did. No, he didn't.

Some Dude said...

Probably your best post. Really hit home with me and my own dad who can't advise me on anything.

Some Dude said...

Probably your best post. Really hit home with me and my own dad who can't advise me on anything.

Iowahine said...

liberranter: I've often wondered how common this is, and if some fathers don't perhaps see their sons as adversaries rather than heirs.

"adversaries rather than heirs" well-said.

My 5 sibs and I recognize now that our mother viewed us as her competition/enemies.

Trimegistus said...

I have some perspective on this. My own parents were WWII generation but had me very late; I'm an early-stage Generation X kid born in the mid-Sixties. This meant that my own entry into the world of dating, sex, and relationships was in a universe completely transformed from my parents' experiences. My mother lived in a women's dorm in college, and male visitors could only be in the downstairs parlor. The women's dorm that adjoined my men's dorm in college during the eighties had no barriers to entry, and I know of at least one man who lived in his girlfriend's dorm room for a year after he dropped out of school.

My parents -- both well-traveled, well-educated, and living in a major city -- had difficulty understanding what lesbians "did" together. It was simply not part of the world in which they grew up; my father was married before Hugh Hefner started publishing Playboy and made pornography part of the cultural mainstream. He never knew what "DP" or "felch" mean, and I often think I am lessened as a human because I do know.

I have kids myself. My son is just entering his teens and I've been thinking very intensely about what to tell him, and when. I'm torn: I don't want to destroy his innocence about people, but I don't want to see him get hurt by not knowing things. I know there are things I don't know: I've never done online dating (my wife and I were married before the Internet was universal). I've never "sexted," and I certainly never had to worry about false rape accusations.

It's a tricky balance. One wants to preserve the good parts of the old world. If you sacrifice all that is moral or noble simply because the cynical and predatory have already done so, how are you any better? Is there any point in racing to the bottom when all it gets you is . . . the bottom?

Timmy3 said...

I have no idea until I became a parent myself. I would think its because parents don't know themselves. This passes along to every generation. The previous generation of picked on kids passes along advice to the picked on son or daughter. Plus you must understand the old world cultural cues that one should not fight or the fight gets escalated. Only after one realizes from experience that fighting back gets the job done, that's when you do it.

"It's a tricky balance"

Quite simple. If picked on, fight back. Otherwise, when you get into a fight and you're wrong and you'll be punished. And don't interfere in someone else's fight unless you consider all the ramifications. Don't defend a strange woman. I think the idea you don't get to the bottom. You'll get there without fighting too.

praetorian said...

Alrighty. So, what advice are we all giving our boys:

- Getting through teens/twenties (if the current advice is "wait till 30, marry a 20 year old")
- Responding to MGTOW's attractive arguments, while still trying to get our sons married
- Hook ups
- Porn

My current thinking, which I am not firm on is: "Women are literally crazy, but if you might find a good one. Try to find a kind, intelligent and modest girl early on before she ruins herself, and marry her. If not, wait until the 30s and marry a younger girl (Maybe use the ol' grad student/undergrad trick). Date extensively to get comfortable with girls, but don't get physically involved: it's too dangerous in todays world and it will also drive some of the women insane, and they deserve it. Porn is addictive, but is preferable in small amounts to the risks of banging insane humans for a decade and a half while you wait for the right woman."

Not coherent, but that's the best I've got right now.

David-093 said...

The difficulty in getting a Boomer to understand that today's problems are different from yesteryear a problems is indescribable. They seem to believe that just stating the same solution over and over again will somehow make the problem go away.

praetorian said...

The difficulty in getting a Boomer to understand that today's problems are different from yesteryear a problems is indescribable.

Talking with my boomer father about my bachelor millenial brother's issues in the SF "dating" "scene" is the most generous well I know of from which I can draw hollow laughter.

Mansizedtarget.com said...

I think part of the bad advice comes from a combination of the fact that when you're married a long time, you forget about the excitement, ups and downs, and Darwinian nature of the dating world. My parents were high school sweethearts and married at 18 and 19. They never really dated and have no experience with it. Their advice is good advice for a good marriage among a partner trying to make it work in good faith, i.e., be reasonable, kind, dutiful, etc. It's not necessarily good with someone who has one eye on the door, or is high on the hypergamy scale, or if you're dealing with girls that ride the carousel for a decade and emerged damaged at the other end. I think also even my parents demonstrate hypergamy. My dad was a HS football quarterback, a brawler, and really sarcastic when my parents began dating. He's calmed down over time, but sometimes mom seems to forget even though dad made a good life for himself in business, he was a stereotypical bad boy alpha when young. Finally, there was a place for a beta male with a good job in the day, and there was pressure and expectation to marry, settle down, and stay married. Life's changed indeed. But I can't fault my folks for not knowing things totally out of their experience.

Mansizedtarget.com said...

I think part of the bad advice comes from a combination of the fact that when you're married a long time, you forget about the excitement, ups and downs, and Darwinian nature of the dating world. My parents were high school sweethearts and married at 18 and 19. They never really dated and have no experience with it. Their advice is good advice for a good marriage among a partner trying to make it work in good faith, i.e., be reasonable, kind, dutiful, etc. It's not necessarily good with someone who has one eye on the door, or is high on the hypergamy scale, or if you're dealing with girls that ride the carousel for a decade and emerged damaged at the other end. I think also even my parents demonstrate hypergamy. My dad was a HS football quarterback, a brawler, and really sarcastic when my parents began dating. He's calmed down over time, but sometimes mom seems to forget even though dad made a good life for himself in business, he was a stereotypical bad boy alpha when young. Finally, there was a place for a beta male with a good job in the day, and there was pressure and expectation to marry, settle down, and stay married. Life's changed indeed. But I can't fault my folks for not knowing things totally out of their experience.

CarpeOro said...

@Trimegistus
I come from a slightly different background than you and can only say - don't wait to sit your son down. I am also the beginning of GenX, parents silent gen. My father died when I was 15, without really even imparting bad advice to me. With the only general input coming from the surrounding culture regarding relationships and my parents' example I was nearly doomed. My mother loved my father so much she didn't even really date after he died - so no chance of a stepfather's guidance. No one else stepped up to the plate, including my uncles who lived withing 15 miles. Neighbors who made funeral reception promises didn't even act on those minor promises regarding more mundane things. Do not leave this up in the air. I say this coming from the hospital where my younger brother was laying after his second heart attack. I your son has hit puberty, talk to him now. If he hasn't, make videos, recordings, something.

justaguy said...

The administrative state has taken so much of the roles, authority, and power that used to be that of a parent. As an upper-middle class parent, I wanted my kids to succeed. In school they needed great grades, and a host of after-school activities in order to get into a good college. The schools control much of this now and use it. 0 tolerance fighting--if you fight back, even if punched, everyone involved is suspended, period-- no advice from my time in school, when you fought back and explained to the Vice Principal what happened.

Kids can't even where what they want to school on a t-shirt (remember the kid suspended for wearing american flag on celebrate Mexico day???) All a parent can do, unless he is very wealthy is try to get the kids through the 12 year forced indoctrination camp without losing to the propaganda. Home schooling helps, but high school is important for top colleges..

BTW, my kids, now in 30's, think my Christian ideals for courting (not dating) are quaint and not realistic. However, the principles of a good just life haven't changed and it often takes awhile to figure that out. Human nature is the same, society is basically the same, so the Christian principles still apply.

Sokrates said...

http://freedompowerandwealth.com
Obviously you had a great dad. The past is over and people have to learn that it is not their future. Sad but true most people believe that was has happend in the past will also be their future. If that is ture it’s only because you didn’t change anything, because you didn’t learn. Your mind creats your reality and if you want to have another destiny you have to change your mindset.

tweell said...

My father showed me some boxing moves, and explained that if you bloodied the other guy's nose and then worked his stomach over, that they'd think they were badly hurt and give up or run away. That advice wasn't going to work for my son, schools have transitioned to blaming the victim. Instead I gave him some pointers on wrestling (no blood to get panties in a twist) and told him I'd back him up as long as he never started the fight. My wife got him registered as autistic, so when he did get in a fight and the principal suspended him, it became a 'special needs child being attacked by bullies, first another child and now you' case.

I started reading about gaming women and MRA/MGTOW because it was obvious that my knowledge and experience was useless (at best, counterproductive at worst) in today's meat market and I had a son that needed help in the worst way. At least that way I could understand and explain how things work.

gnossoss said...

@liberranter

I know it happened to me. My boomer parents were useless. They taught me almost literally nothing, not even how to shave or have proper hygiene. My mom taught me to approach women in a way that's nearly the opposite of what worked on her, as I noticed much later (after changing everything on my own due to constant failure). I don't think it was a rivalry thing, I just think they're so self-involved that they couldn't see me as a real human being. If I wasn't creating pleasant feelings for them, I was of no interest.

It's interesting that even had he tried, my dad might have failed. But doing nothing is a guarantee of failure, and that's what I got from my dad (who is a competent businessman and handyman and has various skills that would have been very useful to learn, none of which he taught me). I didn't even bother telling my parents about being bullied because there was no point.

Trust said...

Also why pastors with good wives or Marriage 1.0 husbands give horrendous advice.

Ironically, my 94 year old grandmother gives better advice to wives than most modern PhD shrinks. Then again, I think she understands men better than all college graduates the last 50 years combined.

Jed Mask said...

"Probably your best post. Really hit home with me and my own dad who can't advise me on anything."

^ Amen to this. I agree with @Some Dude.

This is one of your best and most needed posts yet Mr. Day. I've shared this.

And I'll be praying over this and all the men, women and people on here and everywhere I can to share this insight.

Thank you...

~ Sincerely,

Bro. Jed

genericviews said...

Same experience. My dad gave me zero useful advice growing up. I blogged about it a while ago here, so no need to reprint it: https://genericviews.wordpress.com/2015/10/14/stuff-my-dad-taught-me/

James Clifton said...

Hey Vox, it be cool to hear who your role models were.

Aeoli Pera said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Aeoli Pera said...

Also why pastors with good wives or Marriage 1.0 husbands give horrendous advice.

Pastors give bad advice because they couldn't get better jobs.

Aeoli Pera said...

Probably your best post. Really hit home with me and my own dad who can't advise me on anything.

No shit, same here.

ray said...

No, it's that they are emasculated, and can't stand up to their wives, daughters, mommies, and the women at work. Just like Gen X, the Millennials, the folks from the late Roman Empire, and on and on. It ain't new, Adam did it too.

But definitely, most Boomer men woefully lack broad and authentic life experience. Lots of cocoon-living over the past half-century, facilitated by the American Empire . . . tho not Full Bubble like most of the wimmins.

Aeoli Pera said...

My boomer parents were useless. They taught me almost literally nothing, not even how to shave or have proper hygiene.

Exactly the same here. I learned to shave by guess-and-check. Fuck, I don't even have the energy to be angry anymore.

Robert What? said...

It is a bit different for me. I'm in my late 50s (boomer). I came to the red pill after being in a sexless, duty bound marriage for over twenty years. Needless to say I am now completely out of step with most of my boomer friends and family. I am trying to impart what I learned to my twenty-something son, who due to his solid blue-pill upbringing is very resistant. He also spends way too much time around his mother. If I can't reach him he is on his way to being that 40-year old virgin.

Cataline Sergius said...

I'd noticed this issue myself a while back. No link provided because the subject of that post is way off topic.

... it assumes your father knew something about Game. He almost certainly didn't. He became your father because (much to his confusion and bewilderment at the time), your mother took a sexual interest in him and made it so obvious that even he cottoned on eventually. He never really understood why and likely he still doesn't.

His advice to you was largely useless things about treating her like a lady, dinner dates, candy, writing her love poetry and topping it off with mysterious references to revelations to come, "You'll know what I mean someday." The truth is that someday never came for him. He never learned himself which is why he ended up unsuccessfully begging your mother for sex after only two years of marriage. He did however find out how often wives get headaches or are too tired.

If both you and he were really unlucky. You got to find out about the value of "persistence." (*Cataline shudders*)

dc.sunsets said...

Geeze, you all have crap for fathers. I can only imagine what your mothers are like.

I had a crap father, too, but despite being a despised boomer I gave useful advice to my sons. I shared how I dealt with adversaries both when I lost and when I won. My sons all dealt with antagonists with judo-master skill despite outwardly being the kind that attracts bullies like flies.

Their mother and I explained how most women suck, and provided some hints on discerning the needle in the haystack. They knew their VALUE going in, and their mother provided a good template for what to seek, someone down to Earth who valued family, not the latest handbag.

No wonder Western Civ is dying out. Too few men like my sons are doing the work to find descent women, court, marry and have kids.

dc.sunsets said...

While I don't know the future, by all appearances my sons married decent women, all of whom are already or intend to be stay-at-home mothers (like my sons' mother.)

My sons all learned in school that if you have to hit back, WAIT, don't do it right away (authority's attention was attracted by the hit on you, let them look away), then hit them hard.

They also had a daily reminder from my facial scars of what happens if you let down your guard within arms' reach of a potential adversary.

A man who doesn't explain both verbal and physical combat rules to his kids (girls included) isn't fully male. They must also understand the Monkey Dance. Those who encourage their sons to be physically aggressive are fools, too.

Michael Maier said...

My Boomer parents weren't of much use at all. I appreciate never going to bed hungry but as far as life instruction? They're pretty much anti-examples all around. I am sad typing that but there it is.

If I ever whelp, I fear for the kids. I don't know if I can provide homeschooling and a stay-at-home Mom. I would rather live in an unheated shack then subject my children to Public School Hell.

Then for them to have to find decent mates? How do you parents stand the anxiety of all the evil to which they're be exposed?

liberranter said...

@liberranter

I know it happened to me. My boomer parents were useless.


I'm a boomer myself (mid 50s) and my father was from the so-called "Silent Generation."

In looking at the past carefully, I think that a big part of Dad's personality was formed by his own upbringing. My paternal grandfather (born at the turn of the 20th century) was about as aloof as any man could be. Although he taught my father a lot about business (Dad followed in his footsteps), I don't think that there was much bonding or instruction in anything else. Most of the "life skills" that my dad learned he learned after graduating from high school, while in college, and in the Army during the Korean War. I would surmise that since my grandfather didn't teach him any life skills, he assumed that it wasn't his place to teach his two sons any either.

I have no sons of my own but if I did, I would most definitely NOT carry on the "family tradition" where father-son bonding and teaching is concerned.

liberranter said...

Then for them to have to find decent mates? How do you parents stand the anxiety of all the evil to which they're be exposed?

One word: expatriate

Bard said...

You trust that if you raise them to be men that they are going to get dirty, but if the holy spirit is in them, they will triumph in the end. You teach them a real martial art and to shoot. You homeschool. You teach them all the rules of game and identify their weaknesses and help them master it. You create strong friendships and alternatives to the status quo like Castilia house. Let them watch you be strong.

Bard said...

If you can't do it, how the hell do you expect them to?

praetorian said...

No wonder Western Civ is dying out. Too few men like my sons are doing the work to find descent women, court, marry and have kids.

DC, do not fall into self-satisfaction.

Chent said...

The problem with the Boomers is that they were the first generation that was massively schooled, that is, the first generation raised by their teachers instead of their parents. So, instead of acquiring the Christian religion and tradition from their parents, they got the Leftist religion and utopianism from their teachers. The elites had wanted this since the so-called "Enlightenment"

All the so-called "rebellions" during the 60s were these: students rebelling against their parents' ideology in name of their teachers' ideology. Of course, there was an emotional component too: "do whatever you want" is an easy sell.

The chain that united the Boomer generation to the past was broken so they didn't pass these ideas to their children.

Eric said...

Yeah, I remember my dad telling me if I got in a fight at school he would punish me after the school finished punishing me. It was lose-lose when I got picked on, and no bully ever rose to dad's level of scariness. So I took it.

If I had a son I'd never do that to him.

Regarding the RoK post: The rules had already changed by the mid '80s, but it takes awhile for the culture to adjust. I would never have spent my early 20s "preparing for marriage" if I'd been smart enough to realize it.

Fatherless said...

My boomer dad took off when I was ten to go be a wannabe Indian, so fuck him.

When he visited, about once every year or two, he'd only talk about himself and his boring wannabe Native American interests. Plants, feathers, etc. The only question I remember him asking me was "So, do you have a girlfriend?"

I remember being so stumped by that. I remember thinking, "I have so many things going on in my life, and that's what you want to talk about?"

He never knew the first thing about me. Just assumed I either was or should be the little version of him. Nothing more.

Even though he didn't stuck around to raise me, even last year he was disappointed that I didn't turn out like him. Yeah, apparently I'm not spiritual enough for him. No, Dad I just don't make a big fucking show of it like you do. Enjoy your section eight housing you stupid asshole.

RmaxGenactivePUA Mgtow said...

The real moral of the story is, dont send your children to a public school

Also dont send them to private christian schools, theyre almost as bad as public schools & filled with churchian idiots

Send them to a traditional private school, where they avoid all modern curriculums like the plague

Anchorman said...

Also dont send them to private christian schools, theyre almost as bad as public schools & filled with churchian idiots

I agree. I attended private, Christian schools when I grew up and the difference between how they are run and how the modern Christian schools are run is striking.

The modern schools are public schools with God. There's no distinguishable difference. You have maybe one or two men on staff (definitely not solid role models) and the rest is a hen house. Not to beat a dead horse, but it is so rare to find a woman capable of teaching math.

dc.sunsets said...

Sounds like a lot of fathers secretly fear their kids will do better than they did; trailer trash calls this "being uppity."

I explicitly wanted my sons to know what I know, 20 years ahead of when I learned it. I wanted them to do better than me. I patiently explained Why I did what I did, not just What.

Between that, my marrying an atypical girl and their (guessing) 140 IQs, they were well positioned to find the Path to Happiness. The rest is up to them & luck.

Inept or even malignant parents can be overcome. There's no excuse for continuing the same folly, and avoiding fatherhood is surrender.

dc.sunsets said...

Not to beat a dead horse, but it is so rare to find a woman capable of teaching math.
Rarity is what often renders value. My sons all attended public schools and the HS math team was coached by an extraordinarily talented woman. Among other effects, this experience helped my middle son to maintain a 4.0 while earning a BS in mechanical engineering.

Their experience could not, however, be duplicated today. I'd not send my kids to public schools given today's Special Ed Inclusion Model.

Unknown said...

I've raised two sons, both of whom are very smart and successful. I was their parent for this first 18 years of their life and now we're all friends, which mean they occasionally pick up the bar tab!

You want to start right with your sons? Read to them every night before the go to sleep and make sure what you read is solid conservative stuff, not feminist trash. Start with The Hobbit and move on to The Lord of the Rings. Tolkei's efforts are among the finest in portraying traditional Western values engaged in a manly struggle with collectivist Evil, in a format that can readily engage boys and young men.

Then, keep encouraging them to read all manner of manly books. Mine read Cervantes, Dostoyevsky and Ayn Rand for fun, then debate their respective messages. In the end, both ended up solid traditionalists with keen and questioning minds. They laughingly mock the likes of Bernie and Hillary as socialist tools. And they "just get it", as far as women go.

Robert What? said...

@Chent,

The problem with the Boomers is that they were the first generation that was massively schooled, that is, the first generation raised by their teachers instead of their parents.

That is a pithy observation. I'm a boomer myself, but as you can see from my previous comment I am very much out of step with most other boomers. I failed as a father in many respects but it was from lack of knowledge. Your observation is a good theory as to why we never got that knowledge.

liberranter said...

The problem with the Boomers is that they were the first generation that was massively schooled, that is, the first generation raised by their teachers instead of their parents.

If that's the case shouldn't blame for that be laid squarely at the feet of their parents, the (so-called) "Greatest" and "Silent" generations who allowed (or even encouraged) it to happen?

Robert What? said...

@liberranter,

The "greatest generation" had an implicit trust in government that we now know was wildly misplaced. Even back then.

liberranter said...

The "greatest generation" had an implicit trust in government that we now know was wildly misplaced. Even back then.

Yup. They're the generation who originated the custom of bitching and whining about government out of one corner of their mouths while with the other screaming "Don't you DARE cut my government benefits that I fought for! Go fuck over someone younger!"

Tantumblogo said...

Many interesting comments and a valuable post. I have only commented here a handful of times but I do wonder about a country/city divide in all this. I was born in '71 and raised in an affluent suburb but my silent gen dad grew up on a farm with no electricity or indoor plumbing. He and my somewhat screwball mom (long story) were useless when it came to dating because they were trapped in a fifties mindset and couldn't understand how things had changed even by the mid-80s.

BUT they gave me excellent grounding in almost every other respect (esp. dad) and that grounding helped me overcome somewhat painful/only slightly successful dating with the (as I still call them) Plano bitches I grew up with. When I hit college I knew I wanted something very different. I started dating small town/country girls and it made all the difference in the room. The general good raising I was blessed to have played a big role in that, and I married a beautiful down to earth woman who has managed over 25 years to escape almost all the femnazi propaganda, though a little bit of the detritus from the cultural sewer in which we all swim has stuck to both of us, causing generally minor problems. In general however I found country girls much more real, accessible, down to earth, and free of drama and head games. Something young men might keep in mind, but then again, I'm speaking of a past 20+ years gone, but a bit of anecdotal evidence makes me think there is still a significant difference.

I firmly believe that homeschooling is the only viable option for observant Christians in these times. Public and almost all private schools are deadly to the Faith. I pray I am raising my 6 daughters and one son to be totally unlike the bitter, cynical, twisted young women I knew in high school. I believe homeschooling provides the best chance of assuring my children emerge as faithful, believing, decent, well-adjusted adults.

Prayer is the key. I'm a trad Catholic and divorce is almost unknown in our small but growing milieu.

God bless you all.

John rockwell said...

@Timmy3

'' If picked on, fight back''

If picked on train to fight then fight back. Losing a fight results in a much worse beating.

IanSean said...

Hahaha my dad told me how he finally fought a bully and then they became good friends

Problem is he wouldn't have told me that story school age

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