Christian sex experts Pastor Dave and Ann Wilson inadvertently explain how to kill your wife’s attraction in The Art of Marriage:Let's be perfectly clear: a woman is more likely to want to have sex with you if you punch her in the face than if you bring her roses. I'm not saying that means you should punch her in the face, I'm saying you that you should stop thinking that bringing her roses is going to inspire her to want to have sex with you.
Dave: On May 24, 1990, it was our ten-year anniversary—I sort of surprised Ann with a ten-year anniversary date. We dressed up and went to a really nice restaurant. I sort of set it up with the waiter, while we were having dinner / when I would queue him—sort of give him a look—he was supposed to bring a rose over. So, I queued him early in the dinner—he brought over a rose and laid it on the table. We talked about year one.
Ann: He was like a little boy that night—like waiting for the next thing to happen.
Dave: Then I looked over later, and he brought another rose. So, anyway, every rose was a year; and we would talk about that year.
Ann: He was so sweet—he even planned what he was going to say when each rose arrived.
Little boys are indeed sweet, but they aren’t sexy. Later that night Dave tried to kiss his wife, and she explained that she no longer had feelings for him.
Dave: So, I leaned over to kiss Ann. As I leaned over to kiss her in the passenger seat, she sort of pulls away.
Ann: “Ugggghh!” I was just like, “Honey, I can’t even!” In my head, I was thinking, “I cannot even go there.”
Dave: So I pulled back, and look at her, and said, “Is something wrong?” She looks at me—and I’ll never forget this—she goes, “Well, yes, there is something wrong.” I am like, “What’s wrong?” And she says, “Well, to be honest with you, I’ve lost my feelings for you.”
Pastor Wilson was an All-American quarterback at Ball State and a leader of men, but by supplicating to his wife he took on the form of a little boy and killed his wife’s attraction for him.
One very important thing to keep in mind if you want to stay married is to pay absolutely no attention to professional marriage experts. Their answer is always for the husband to grovel before the woman, which generally works about as well as Dave's little performance with roses did.
And even more important, remember that marriage doesn't turn off the rules of attraction.