Saturday, December 26, 2015

It is always Year Zero

It's not the situation that is interesting, or even the advice, but rather, the instinctive inclination to tell the husband to play ostrich:
We have just celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary and, although not a big Facebook user, I decided to post a message about my wife. I used her maiden name and a picture of her when we first met — saying how I was so lucky to meet her and how happy I was that she decided to become my Mrs.

At first I got a few ‘likes’ — but then I started to get comments from people I’d never heard of.

One in particular was from a woman saying she was amazed our marriage had lasted 30 years because when she shared a house with my wife (not then my wife, of course) and two other girls, my wife held the record: having sex with 11 different blokes in one month.

Tempting though it is to advise you to keep silent and just get on with life, I’m wondering if that would be helpful.

I don’t want this to fester. It might be better to laugh the whole thing off, saying, ‘Do you remember a weird girl called X? She told me she shared a house with you . . . but anyway, she sounds a bit unpleasant so I’m not bothering with that Facebook stuff any more. You never know who’ll crawl out of the woodwork, do you?’ Or words to that effect.

What you mustn’t do is ask any question about that part of your wife’s life, because the details are not your business.

Frankly (and don’t be shocked), if she did have a few boyfriends, so what? She was free — and then she married you, oh lucky man.

I believe the trollette’s salacious stories are a loo-roll of lies and I speak as one who has had lies told about me in the past.

It’s pretty horrible, but you know what — I don’t care! Life is too short to deal with this rubbish, so throw it all into an imaginary dustbin… crunch, crash, replace the lid and quickly wash your hands.
Unhappy, lonely women are more or less crazy, and many of them turn malicious. So, the odds are very high that this guy's wife is entirely innocent of the historical deeds she supposedly committed. That being said, the first thing the guy should have done was ask his wife: did you live with X? And the second thing he should have done was show her what the other woman was saying about her.

Regardless of what the wife did or didn't do, regardless of what the husband believes, if nothing else, he owes it to his wife to let her know what sort of rumors are being publicly spread about her.

But it is important to note that, as always, the female advice columnist's reaction is to absolve the wife of any responsibility for her possible past and to demand that the husband simply consider himself lucky, even if he has been shamelessly lied to.

This is why one should never take advice from women about women. It's like asking a burglar if you should lock your doors at night or not.

16 comments:

frenchy said...

Dude this is gospel!

I put some of your advice into practice the other day when exchanging emails with another woman. The conversation drifted to her talking about singing and how I could pull women if I were a karaoke singer in a bar because. I remembered what you and others have talked about and asked her if she would go head over heels for a karaoke singer in a bar? She sheepishly, but honestly, replied no. She could not follow a guy whose life was singing in a bar. I was saying to myself, "Man, this knowledge is for real."

Iron sharpens iron. Thanks!

Tom Roberts said...

Yep...the crazy cat lady was projecting her own SMP demise and dead end. After awhile the ideas we toss around become hardend and internalized, such as never taking advice about other women especially while in pursuit of them. I over gamed (always side on boldness) a girl and now am told to move on by a few girls I know. Abundance mentality and ZFG will set frame a back right...I'll just re-approach after I fix the calibration.

Arthur Isaac said...

@Tom, why reapproach and not just next her? Stranded on a desert island?

Arthur Isaac said...

@Tom, why reapproach and not just next her? Stranded on a desert island?

Tom Roberts said...

Good point.

Ian Miguel Martin said...

An observation from my work with the urban poor is that among socially isolated, destitute men, roughly half of them are crazy, while about half are lucid, often surprisingly so. But among women the rate of craziness is 100%. A lonely woman is a crazy woman, they simply cannot bear isolation.

liberranter said...

...although not a big Facebook user...

And this incident shows why neither you nor your wife should be using it at all. Dumbass.

SciVo said...

I've heard that Ashley Madison had so many fake female accounts (exposed by the hack) because women that want to cheat just use Facebook. So I'll second the motion for just don't do it.

Fred Mok said...

I appreciate how the point of this post isn't whether the woman was promiscuous in the psat but how quickly the columnist wants to justify/rationalize even the rumor of a woman's past. It seems the columnist has some skeletons in her closet. A more specific way of saying not to take advice about a woman from a woman is that women will project their own insecurities and idealized desires into their counsel.

The Overgrown Hobbit said...

This is why one should never take advice from women about women. It's like asking a burglar if you should lock your doors at night or not.

As dating advice: yes. If you come from a broken / atheist home, yes. But if your dad was married to the proverbial "... and her children rise up and call her blessed" women, don't refuse the gift God has given you. Your mom (and your wife, if you marry wisely) will have invaluable advice about your daughters.

The Overgrown Hobbit said...

This is why one should never take advice from women about women. It's like asking a burglar if you should lock your doors at night or not.

As dating advice: yes. If you come from a broken / atheist home, yes. But if your dad was married to the proverbial "... and her children rise up and call her blessed" women, don't refuse the gift God has given you. Your mom (and your wife, if you marry wisely) will have invaluable advice about your daughters.

tz said...

Vox, I'm curious what you will do about your daughters. As you aren't Catholic, therefore you can't suggest a nunnery (yet I would not put it past you to do a pretend conversion until they were safely cloistered).

Jackie DeLister said...

@Ian Miguel Martin

You are reversing cause and effect.

Jackie DeLister said...

@Ian Miguel Martin

You are reversing cause and effect.

Lord Nifty said...

Facebook has become a cesspool. I deleted my account, it's nothing more than a platform for virtue signalling, propaganda, and hatred.

JP said...

What must be wrong with you to even bring up such a thing 30 years after the fact? What could you possibly hope to achieve?

Rhetorical questions, mind.

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